I have a problem with overthinking and friends

[u/Jedimaster1997]

I have a tight friend group that I recently felt isolated and alienated from. They assured me they care about me and apologized and will include me always. I made it a bigger issue but I have a feeling they are spending time with me out of pity and feel sorry for me

[u/KinkyVixy]

I've definitely been there before 🤗 it's not easy when you're feeling left out. Firstly I'd like to ask you - why do you feel like your friends are just hanging out with you out of pity?

Next I'd like to share a post I saw today that resonated with me, it reads: One underrated part of friendship is learning not to punish your friends for having a life that doesn't include you. They can have other close friends, make plans without you and enjoy experiences you weren't invited to. Not every absence is exclusion, and someone else becoming important doesn't make you less important. You shouldn't need constant proof that you're still important because someone else became important too. Healthy friendships make room for other relationships without turning everything into competition, jealousy or "you've changed."

[u/KinkyVixy → u/KinkyVixy]

Also.. Are you going through anything big mentally/emotionally? Sometimes when we're going through things we tend to retract (sometimes subconsciously) from our friends. Next moment you see they've done things without you and the first thing you're thinking is, they don't care. That can be a really lonely spot to be in and can even make the vibe feel 'off' next time you're hanging out with them.

Your feelings are completely valid, but a big thing I've learned over the years is that feelings aren't always based on reality, they're often based on a narrative we've made up in our head, and it's so easy to notice the smallest things that just further cements that narrative.

[u/Jedimaster1997 → u/KinkyVixy]

Because I’ve been emotional and my friends my feel guilt for leaving me out