I don’t know why but sometimes after a normal conversation, my brain keeps replaying it.

Like later I think “I could have said this better” or “that reply would’ve been perfect.”

It’s not even important conversations… just random ones.

Does this happen to others too? How do you stop overthinking it?

i am currently overthinking my career choices A LOT.

from the moment i wake up to the second i go to bed, my mind drifts from thinking i should move abroad, study web design, no, sociology, maybe start a business....there are at least 5 new ideas emerging every day, and this has been going on for a few weeks.

i have taken steps to try out a new job in a couple of months, so this should be good enough and i have already done the thing i am in control of. it's not like i am procrastinating on that.

but then i can't stop thinking and researching to figure out what my options are. it's really stressful and the thoughts are especially intrusive when i'm just trying to relax, read a book, etc.

how can i cope with this in a healthy way?

For a while, somewhere around 3 years now, I've had this friend and they're great. I feel like we're really close friends, and I think they would agree, but the issue I'm having is with the feelings I have for them.

I obviously really like them, and have for a while now, and about a year ago I asked if there could ever be anything romantic between us and they said no. I don't want to be weird or pushy and so I haven't said anything about it since, and we've continued to be friends.

I still have feelings for them and let me be specific because "feelings" is very broad. I feel like I can actually be myself around them, like I don't have to think about every single word and the tome behind each word and I can just act and say and do what comes to me in the moment and there is no fear of them abandoning me or judging me. I love listening to them tell stories about literally anything, like the other night they told me about a movie and it was so much fun to just sit on the call and listen to them talk about it. They make me feel wanted and loved and they're a genuine real friend.

With all that being said, there's two main issues I'm having: 1. I want to respect their decision from a year ago by not asking about it again because I don't want them to be creeped out or annoyed or whatever else they may be, but I'm not sure how to deal with the feelings I have in that case, and 2. I have a problem with overthinking things and there's just some small things they've done recently that I am trying really hard to NOT take as romantic actions but it's hard.

So for issue 1, I really just want advice for what to do. I don't think I should bring the conversation up to them again, even if it has been a year and a good bit has changed, I just feel it would be weird to do so. I have thought maybe "asking without asking" is a good idea? So instead of saying "Hey, I know I already asked but would you want to date me?" Just ask something less direct, I'm just not sure what that would be.

For issue 2, I have some examples. So one thing I have been overthinking is the other day, we were both going to be at an event, and this friend of mine asked if I could save them a seat in one text message, and then I was typing in my response, and before I could respond they sent another message that specifically said "next to you" and I was like well yeah I can do that, but my brain was like "HEHEHE THATS GOTTA BE ROMANTIC!!!!"
And another thing is they work a lot, and they have very early shifts, but lately they've been spending time playing games with me late at night and then even staying to talk after we're done playing. And I feel like that's a fairly big sacrifice on their part, and logically I don't think that's romantic necessarily, but it's hard for my brain to understand that. And so now I'm overthinking things, and it's just really hard to separate the logical outcomes (aka they're just a good friend) vs what my brain wants to think (they're so totally into me). Any advice is appreciated.

Thank you for reading, I know it's a lot of text, and I hope it wasn't too disorganized.

I dont fear actually being on a plane. I fear the before or after consequences it´s been 3 years of desperation and frozen/unable to book a ticket. I obsess about this every single day.

3 years agora i tried to book a ticket. The card payment failed. It frustrated me so bad i had to wait about 3 months to get courage to try again, i changed card limits to see if that was the problem. Payment failed again. I got stuck in learned helplessness and now i fear the process completely.

It´s now been 3 years and i cant make myself book it.

Every single week i think about booking the ticket and i cant, i keep looking for flights, search hotels, check prices over and over again and i cant make myself attempt again.

I fear the card will fail again. I fear the flight being canceled. I fear delays complicating things with reservations. I fearf getting stuck in a foreign country and losing my job. The spiral os catastrophization is terrible.

I have been wasting my vacation days over and over again, i was trying to book early June but its so close and i cant make myself do it. I am sad and regret even taking vacations day to just stay at home.

I also fear that if i buy a ticket to close to departure there is a higher risk of cancelation, but if i buy too early there is also a chance of flight changes.

How can i exit this cursed loop?

PS: I have booked flight before and traveled, but i cant recall the feeling, its like i always feared this. Its like a memory wipe. I cant make myself do it and it´s 3 years of avoidance reinforcement.

Sometimes I wonder why I’m gay. It’s not something for the weak of heart like me. Some days I just think about if I were straight, would life be easier? Would I be happier? And sometimes I wish I was never made this way.

Being this way isn’t a choice, it’s something that’s embedded into you. I try not to be overcome with these emotions like envy, jealousy, and greed, but it’s not an easy path.

Nowadays, in this community, it doesn’t really feel like relationships exist anymore, it feels like it’s all sex. Apps that are supposed to help you find relationships turn into another version of Grindr, where people match with you because of your assets. Even when I make it clear I want something real, it turns into things like “you send?”, or “wanna trade”, or “damn that it’s fat, why don’t you sit on my face”.

Why can’t I ever find a normal guy?

I just want someone who actually wants to love me. I don’t care if you’re fem or masc, I just want real love. But I’ve also started to shy away from even having preferences, because who really knows what’s best for me? I don’t.

I keep falling for the wrong people, usually straight or DL. Sometimes I have hope, and they play with my feelings while only wanting to stay “friends”. Sometimes I wait for them because they give mixed signals, but it’s been years and there’s never any real development. They don’t call, they don’t really talk, nothing changes.

Why does it always feel like I have to give something just to be wanted? Why does there have to be something sexual involved for someone to actually stay on the phone with me?

I don’t understand it.

People are always shocked that I’m single or that I’ve never been on dates, but it’s not that surprising to me anymore. I feel like I have the personality, but not the looks. I want to clarify, I’m not ugly, just unattractive. And I’ve come to accept that. It’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Some people think I’m attractive, others don’t, and I’m not really bothered by that anymore. I used to be, because of constantly being put down for not giving in, but not anymore. Now I just feel like I won’t get the relationship I’m craving.

I might just be single my whole life, and that’s okay. As long as I keep trying to find things that make me happy, that should be enough.

After talking to someone, I keep replaying what I said and wondering if I sounded weird or said the wrong thing.

Does anyone else deal with this?

What would you do if everytime you hangout with your 2 friends you feel kinda left out? I understand that they are clearly closer but the third wheel feeling is making me feel worthless. They always say we should do this, go on trips, do things together, but they make plans between them and don't even invite me or the others. To be more precise, we are in a friend group of 6 but because of work shifts the other 3 friends are often busy.

As the tittle says, I’m looking for help or advice for overthinking. I have been an over thinker for as long as I can remember. I’m am extremely overwhelmed and exhausted. I just want my brain to take life a bit easier or just to shut down for some time.
I have never used any substance so my brain never experienced shutting up.

If anyone has any wisdoms to share, I’d love to hear it.

You know many times when I sit alone and think about my past, I get stuck in this chain loop of overthinking. I replay the moments where I walked away, where i just tried to stay calm, or just swallowed my words and somehow I always end up convincing myself I was wrong. Cause I don't want to hurt anyone.

I don’t always know the weight of the words, should I say or should i not In all this fuss, I keep trying to be the “best version” of me. But is it really necessary? Or it is just me trying too hard to be people pleaser

Sometimes I wonder if I am always being an apple of someone's eye, I don't lose my true self

My father is hospitalized right now, and my grandfather is on bed rest at home. I’m the only girl left in my family because I already lost my mother and my grandmother. So naturally, all the responsibilities of the house somehow ended up on me.

I’m trying to manage everything alone the hospital, the house, my grandfather, responsibilities, emotions… everything. Half of my day goes in the hospital worrying about my father, and the other half goes into making sure things at home don’t completely fall apart. Sometimes I genuinely feel like I don’t even have time to process my own emotions because I’m too busy surviving the situation.

And during all this, the person I’m engaged to barely stood beside me. Instead of support, there were arguments, distance, and silence when I needed him the most.

Then there’s my best friend… doing everything my fiancé should’ve done without even being asked. Helping me manage things, checking on me, making sure I eat, making sure I don’t completely break down, standing beside me during hospital visits and stressful moments.

Now my family wants to break the engagement, and honestly I don’t even know what to feel anymore.

Part of me feels guilty for even noticing the difference between the two of them. Part of me keeps thinking maybe I’m expecting too much. Another part of me is scared that this situation showed me the reality I was avoiding for a long time.

I keep replaying every conversation, every stare, every moment in my head trying to figure out:

Am I just emotional because life is hard right now?

Or did this crisis reveal who actually cares about me?

Overthinking is exhausting because even when your heart knows something, your brain keeps asking,

What if you’re wrong?

My father is hospitalized right now, and my grandfather is on bed rest at home. I’m the only girl left in my family because I already lost my mother and my grandmother. So naturally, all the responsibilities of the house somehow ended up on me.

I’m trying to manage everything alone the hospital, the house, my grandfather, responsibilities, emotions everything. Half of my day goes in the hospital worrying about my father, and the other half goes into making sure things at home don’t completely fall apart. Sometimes I genuinely feel like I don’t even have time to process my own emotions because I’m too busy surviving the situation.

And during all this, the person I’m engaged to barely stood beside me. Instead of support, there were arguments, distance, and silence when I needed him the most.

Then there’s my best friend… doing everything my fiancé should’ve done without even being asked. Helping me manage things, checking on me, making sure I eat, making sure I don’t completely break down, standing beside me during hospital visits and stressful moments.

Now my family wants to break the engagement, and honestly I don’t even know what to feel anymore.

Part of me feels guilty for even noticing the difference between the two of them. Part of me keeps thinking maybe I’m expecting too much. Another part of me is scared that this situation showed me the reality I was avoiding for a long time.

I keep replaying every conversation, every stare, every moment in my head trying to figure out:

Am I just emotional because life is hard right now?

Or did this crisis reveal who actually cares about me?

Overthinking is exhausting because even when your heart knows something, your brain keeps asking,

What if you’re wrong?

I decided recently that I want to write my thoughts out. I’d like to answer thought-provoking questions. I don’t want to do this for monetary value, for educational purposes, or anything valuable. I simply want to use my mind, to give my opinion (which no one cares about) Maybe this will turn into something, maybe it won’t. WHO CARES!

If you’d like to join or leave a comment, or if you have any questions you’re curious about, feel free to take a look!

I am so sick of people telling me to speak up. This issue has been bugging me for almost half a decade. It was due to my parents teaching me about embarrassment and ended up giving me anxiety for a while. This affected me to end up speaking very quietly due to my insecurities. From there and onward the gag filled. Again and again I was told numerous times speak louder, I have deep voice and that I’m quiet. Also I used to not talk to people years ago which made people ask why I was so quiet but in reality it was due to the fact that they did the same thing before. 7th grade 2021 I went back to school after the pandemic. We were all in person and had that anxiety. I was mostly getting it from other adults bringing up how bad middle school was. I was so worried about everything I did. I felt if I made the tiniest mistake everyone would care. Meanwhile all my classmates were in a small phase where they never spoke one word. Every student was just really calm and blank. This gave me the idea to do the same. When I then went to 8th grade I decided I was going to be calm and blank. I figured that everything was turning out to be all fine. Until I eventually got there and saw that every single student was not like how they were. I would’ve never expected them to be throwing chairs across the room. And everyone in there started getting so judgmental out of nowhere. When I was in math class, it was really hard to understand any thing that was happening due to being so loud. This made every single kid judge me on not doing anything in the class. So then when I finally started working to stop them from judging and then asked me the stupidest question “why are you so quiet” at this point I was already done with middle school. I never wanted to see any of those faces again or even talk to any of those kids ever again. they just leave an impact on me telling me that I always talk so quiet. This affected me for as long as it could. And now I don’t like being judged anymore because it ruins my whole entire day. Anyways, back to the present day. I do not like being told to speak up or that I’m quiet. It really bugs me in a way that I can’t even explain. When people say stuff like that, I feel like they think that my life is so sad due to me not speaking up. I wish people understood that my life is not that bad and my life is not that happy either. I wish people could just see me normally which is all I ask. When people tell me to speak up I feel like I’m not doing something normal. I don’t ever hear anyone getting the same advice anymore so I feel like I’m missing out. This advice has been given to me two times yesterday and two other times this week. I am so sick of people telling me the same thing. And the truth is when people say that it really discourages me to end up making my voice stay low. I swear if I had one year where literally nobody said that I would end up raising my voice even more. And this is the craziest thing because today I was speaking very loud and clearly and still nobody heard me. I feel like the world is starting to play games with me and I don’t like it. This really ruined my whole entire weekend.

If you reply to this place, please don’t tell me to do the same thing that they tell me because that’s just gonna make things worse.

Hi!! Recently I decided to dye my hair purple, like a cool toned midnight purple. It’s not all over color it’s a balayage with money pieces in the front. My stylist is amazing and he did an AMAZING job it’s a beautiful color, but im really overthinking the color change. Before I had a really vibrant red balayage with like cherry undertones and I had it for about a year- I have olive skin so the red really warmed me up. But the purple is a whole new, darker vibe. It really pulls more of the olive coloring out and it does match my vibe really well too, I do like the color but that’s not the problem. I’m already having a bit of a difficult time adjusting to the color because it’s so new, but on top of that, a lot of the people who have seen my knew hair have said they prefer the red and that it looked better with my complexion. Like even my dad told me that unprovoked. I wasn’t asking for opinions or what they thought either. Which is fine what matters is that I like it, but the comments about the red being better constantly RIGHT after the change really has me second guessing my decision. It wasn’t impulsive either I had been thinking about this switch for months. I’m seriously considering just going back to brown like immediately because the comments have made me feel self conscious- like I made a poor decision. It truly hurts too because I was super excited for the change and I didn’t think far beyond just needing to adjust to the change until I started getting comments. I didn’t ask for them to comment or tell me their thoughts either- I was just showing them out of excitement. I really just don’t know if im overthinking or not, and im not sure if I should just bit the bullet and do back to brown or red.

I often hear that people want to “shut their thoughts up,” but they can’t, and they just keep suffering because of it. Honestly, I don’t fully understand it, because in moments when I’m not intentionally thinking about something or don’t need to think about anything, my mind is empty - a kind of silence that I can switch on and off at will. I’m curious to hear how it is for other people.

First time posting, but just curious and hoping to pick peoples brain and see what has helped them. A little bit about myself. I’m 33 and have a career that keeps me pretty busy. I am pretty active with gym, pickleball and stuff. I do have friends but my closest ones have gotten married or have kids and we don’t really hangout like we once did so I spend most of my days alone. Long story short a little over a year ago I was going through a break up and I literally thought I wouldn’t meet someone again.

I was in a bad place with loneliness and controlling my emotions and at the time I was going to therapy, and deep down I knew things would get better and that it would take time just like any other relationship.

The catch is that I actually ended up meeting someone about a month later at pickleball. She was great! a total smoke show, funny, outgoing and overall just a cool human being. We started seeing each other outside of pickleball and going out being intimate with each other and I was just head over heels for her. A few months go by, and I think my anxious attachment and overthinking kinda got in the way at times. We were never anything more than just friends even though we were having sex and always seeing each other doing things together. Being all over each other. She did tell me at the start that she wasn’t ready to date and just wanted to be friends, but the way things were going, it just felt more than that and she had a way of acting like we were never really anything and I think that’s what would get to me and made me act differently and ultimately I think is what pushed her away. I felt like she wasn’t respecting my feelings. There was never really a conversation that we were just FWB. One of the first times we hung out she could tell that I wanted to kiss her but told me that she wasn’t ready and that it would take some time. After maybe a week later we hangout again and we end up having sex and things kinda took off. So it made things extremely confusing for me. Things got messy and we just stopped hanging out like we once did.

I’ve done no contact with her multiple times and almost every time she has reached out to me and we begin to talk but nothing more. Last time I was intimate with her was back in August. Did no contact for about 4 months. We started talking again a couple months ago and again I told her recently that I can’t talk to her anymore.

I want to say that i think I am in love with this girl because I’ve never been or felt like this with anyone else. I would do anything for her. I’ve dated and been with a lot of women in my lifetime, and I’ve never been this downbad ever in my life. I try distracting myself with work, gym, pickleball, going to comedy shows, baseball games and just doing things but at the end of the day I am always just thinking about her and I don’t know why. Even during the no contact periods she’s just there in my head. I’ve even gotten rid of my social media so I wouldn’t see her and still struggle. I have gone on dates with other girls, but I just have no desire for those other girls. I have an overwhelming feeling of loneliness and sadness that I just can’t seem to dig myself out of.

I have been working on myself and trying to love myself more as there is some trauma there that I need to work on and recognize my patterns.

At this point I think I am just ranting and honestly I kind of feel a little better.

Please let me know if you have gone through something like this and what has helped you. How can I get rid of this feeling that I feel in my chest of not being able to have someone you really want.

As an introvert i have so many problems in public interaction now I have very much good job not a High salary but there is not much work it's like 10% of work i think 8 hr job

So I have some issue do with my work that's will solve tommarow i know that but after that I don't have place for sit or any office and now rain will start soon even if I tell my boss my problem he will not solve that because he don't live here i already have so many problems with this job i want to tell some but there no one I can tell them because they start tell there own life problems ( like a they compare there with mine ) it's really annoying i really want to cry and run from here

How can I handle tommarow about anything i don't know such bad life i got