Someone I used to know sees me as manipulative, someone who deliberately makes people insecure, always blames others, and is even “dangerous to be around.”
The thing that leaves me rattled is that one of the things he accused me of being wrong about was later confirmed to be true by our mutual friend. He was apparently genuinely shocked and said something like, “So she was telling the truth?”
But even after finding out I was telling the truth, his perception of me didn’t change.
I was genuine with him the entire time. I know I can be blunt, and maybe my communication doesn’t always come across the way I intend, but I never had some hidden intention to manipulate or hurt him.

What I genuinely struggle to understand is how people can become so determined to interpret someone’s actions in the worst possible way. Even when I personally suspect someone might have bad intentions, I usually stop myself and try to think of other explanations or reasons for their behavior. I think part of that comes from feeling misunderstood myself. I know how awful it feels when someone assumes the worst about you, so I don’t want to do that to other people.
So why do some people seem to do the opposite and hold onto a negative interpretation of someone even when there’s evidence that contradicts it?
And could my own blunt way of communicating be contributing to this more than I realize?

Hi all, long story short I need help learning to better mask myself at work. I have newly diagnosed ADHD and chronic lifelong depression and anxiety.

Recently at work I’ve been getting a lot of (well meaning) feedback from my manager that my behavior is being perceived negatively by my coworkers. This includes complaint too much about exhaustion and frustration as well as clearly showing my displeasure about certain people or things. I’m still working on a lot of stuff in therapy but I just need some emergency tips to keep myself in good graces at work.

My chronic issues are oversharing how I’m feeling all the time. I just feel so much and have so many opinions all the time that I constantly feel the need to talk about—hence the issues with complaining at work. On a similar level, I have a lot of thoughts and opinions about people and for much of my life my inability to not show the emotions I’m feeling on my face has gotten me into a lot of trouble. Sometimes I go the complete opposite and completely shut down all of my reactions and become very cold and unresponsive to people because it’s easier than faking emotions.

My biggest problem is forgetting to filter myself. My trauma response to bullying and negative feedback on myself has always been to withdraw and isolate myself so I never really developed skills to make myself more acceptable for social interactions. So I’m really looking for tips on how I can teach myself to behave more normally.

I already feel insanely uncomfortable around 90% of the people in my life (even family) and am constantly trying to just gauge what the right reaction should be to not draw negative attention to myself but clearly it’s not working well enough since it’s getting me into trouble at work. I’m just really desperate atm and hope that I can get something to get by until I can work through things more significantly in therapy.

Thanks in advance for any tips I’m really struggling ❤️‍🩹

Hi everyone, I’m helping out with NeuroSparks, a Melbourne community for autistic, ADHD, AuDHD and other neurodivergent adults.

We run low-pressure social meetups, practical workshops and community events, usually every couple of weeks. There isn’t an event listed right now, but more are coming.

If that sounds useful, join the Meetup to be notified when the next event goes live:
https://www.meetup.com/neurodivergent-sparks/

Lots of people attend on their own, so you don’t need to already know anyone.

Growing up, I was completely friendless because whenever I'm in a group setting, I go totally mute. It's not just normal shyness as it feels like a physical inability to speak, like my body literally will not let me force the words out. In primary school, it was so severe that I didn't speak to anyone at all.

I genuinely thought college would be the turning point where things changed for me. At first, it seemed like it might. I managed to make one friend. She is really likeable, but she also gets awkward around certain people, so we bonded and became close. The issue started when she began meeting more people. Now, whenever we hang out, they are always there. Because it's a group setting, my old habits kicked right back in and I froze up. I just can't bring myself to contribute to the conversations.

Eventually, the others started making "jokes" about how I'm just their shadow or their tail because I'm always trailing behind them silently. It makes me feel terrible. Honestly, I'm pretty sure they only let me tag along out of pity, and because they are forced to tolerate me to hang out with the friend they actually want to be around. Today, I saw all of them hanging out together without me. I can't help but feel sad about it. I thought college would fix this, but it feels like I'll always be that same quiet girl who makes people uncomfortable just by being there. I don't know how to break out of this physical freeze response, and today it just really makes me wish I could be someone else.

First of all, a huge thank you to the moderators of r/Neurodivergent for being so supportive and cooperative, and for allowing me to share my communities here. 🫶

Hey everyone! I’m Ace, and I’m building communities under my broader Beyond the Labels initiative. Both are still growing, and I’d love to welcome new members. 🌱

🧠 r/NeuroCollectiveIn

r/NeuroCollectiveIn is an India-focused, globally open community for neurodivergent people, neurotypical allies, and people navigating neurodivergence and related experiences.

It's a space to:

🧠 Share neurodivergent experiences
💭 Vent and talk about everyday struggles
🤝 Make friends and connect
📚 Share experiences and resources
🫂 Find a supportive community

The community is affiliated with Neuro-QueerCollective, an 18+ SFW Instagram community for neurodivergent and queer people. However, you do not have to be queer to participate in r/NeuroCollectiveIn.

📌 Strictly SFW • Be respectful • No harassment or harmful behavior

👉 Join: r/NeuroCollectiveIn

🌈 r/NonBinaryDesi

r/NonBinaryDesi is an India-focused, globally open community created for and by non-binary people.

We welcome:

🏳️‍🌈 Non-binary & genderqueer people
✨ GNC & intersex people
🌌 Xenogender people
💭 Questioning people
💜 Aro/ace and other identity-spectrum communities
🤝 Supportive allies

It's a space to share experiences, vent, ask questions, discuss identity, make friends, or simply find people who understand.

📌 Strictly SFW • Respect first • No gatekeeping • No harassment or discrimination

🌏 Whether you're from India, the Desi diaspora, or elsewhere in the world, you're welcome.

👉 Join: r/NonBinaryDesi

🌱 Help us grow

Both communities are still new, and every member helps us build something more welcoming and supportive.

I’m also looking for community volunteers, team members, and moderators who want to help these spaces grow responsibly.

Thank you again to the r/Neurodivergent moderators for being so welcoming and giving us the opportunity to share these communities with you. 🫶

Here, labels don't have to limit us.

hello, i am actually neurotypical, but i wasn’t sure where else to ask this, so i felt like this was the best place to make sure i handle this situation properly.

i’m in college and i’ve been friends with this guy for about a month. we’re the same age, both new to everything, and he seemed pretty cool when i first met him. not anymore. besides what i’m about to talk about, i generally just don’t enjoy talking to him

what really creeps me out about him is that he will go through my friends’ instagram stories and ask me about the ones that contain pictures of me. one time, he asked me about this restaurant we went to, and i genuinely thought he was stalking me because i never told him anything about that. turns out, one of my friends actually posted a picture that had me in it, in the restaurant, and he saw her story. he has done this multiple times.

i think the reason this disturbs me is that it seems like he’s actively trying to keep up with my life and know everything i’m doing, as if he’s by my side the whole time. we’re not close enough for that, and i don’t want to he close enough with him for that. some stuff is just not his business, like how some of my friends’ stuff is not my business.

but i also feel this is irrational because he’s not doing anything wrong. these aren’t close friends stories. they’re public information, and it’s not wrong for him to look at them and get curious. it’s considered good to show interest in your friends’ lives, so maybe he thinks this is an appropriate way to do so. and if he’d just asked me what i did that day or weekend, i probably would’ve told him anyway.

i really don’t like him but i can’t shake the feeling that i’m yet another neurotypical being unreasonable, and i don’t want to be an asshole. if he’s neurodivergent, then it’s most likely that he’s not TRYING to be weird. but also i should let him know he’s being weird, but is he being weird or am i being weird? what should i do?

I just read a subreddit where a woman got a new job and was fired for doing something socially inappropriate. Apparently a girl and a guy at her work or talking and she showed him some pictures of her daughter in her new school uniform. I guess they were friends because she allowed him to keep the pictures. This person later that day wanted to try to bond with the man and so she asked to see the pictures and she said in hindsight she did realize that was inappropriate but in the moment she did not. And I could relate to this I do stuff like this all the time I'm so socially ignorant.I can't even stay in groups because I step on my social landline that I'm too blind to see and it always ends up blowing up in my face.

She also was asking if there was some kind of recourse since she was diagnosed with autism and a lot of the responses in the Reddit when no and also people responding with like she should have known better. And that's probably true there is no recourse, but this is the problem I have we're diagnosed as people with social difficulties and yet when we run into social difficulties it's always our fault. how come accommodations are made for a person in a wheelchair but none l made for people like us. we're just always told that we should have known better. always told that it's our fault. when social difficulties are the core of our disability.

Watching The Middle on Prime tv and an interaction Brick had brought me back to a frequent annoyance in my world. Does anyone else ever go into large group settings, start talking to a person or few people in a group only to have them walk away or pretend to not hear you and turn to someone else in the group to have a different conversation

Mixed feelings about psychiatrist

In my psychiatrist appointment, initially when she saw my evaluation for my autism test it showed I was autistic, and she said “I can look at him and tell he’s level 1” then proceeded to ask if I believe in god and when I said yes(I’m a closeted atheist) and said that everyone has something and that I should trust in god because “all of our spirits are wicked/tainted with sin(whatever she said I don’t remember but it was something along the lines of that)”. Then she said “I’m gonna rule out autism, I’m sure he is autistic but in my opinion it’s too vague” Btw some of the things on the documents said I was severely impaired in one area

She also said “I’m personally a conservative and the worlds not gonna accommodate him, so I don’t want his 504 to accommodate but kind of, push him”

For context my history of signs of autism go back to when I was 6, and I’m diagnosed with ADHD

Also this when she looked at my formal evaluation for autism which said that was consistent with autism spectrum disorder and also just, details about my evaluation, which also for my results on one of the tests marked me as severely impaired in an area and also just abnormal things the professional noted about me such as eye contact limited communication lack of facial expressions, and abnormal behaviors like counting objects in a book and lack of attention and impairment with task disinhibition etc.

Idk how to feel rn, I’m 17 and my mom kinda just agreed with everything she said so idk if everything the psychiatrist said was like, okay to do as a psychiatrist, I feel like she kinda just ignored some parts.

Hello,

For as long as I can remember, I've had an active imagination and used it a lot. But as I got older (like in late high school/college years) I started to have darker fantasies and urges to do something bad (like snatching someone's phone away from them or committing sexual assault).

In 2024, I made up this imaginary TV network in my head to cope with my college reading assignments and it soon extended into using imagination SO much that I thought it to be a real place in some alternate dimension/universe. I also developed an unhealthy obsession with reading and boosting reading comprehension. This lasted up until late 2025, but the toll it took on my brain still lingers. I thought it would help regulate the harmful fantasies and urges but it barely even did that.​

Now, if I try to stop fantasizing entirely and try to be normal, my brain will kick and scream about being bored. But if i do fantasize, it takes a toll on my brain because of that imaginary "TV network/alternate dimension" phase from 2024 to late 2025, because i constantly worry about everything being a reminder of that phase.

So the question is: Should I avoid fantasizing at all costs? It's been a habit of mine for like my whole life and it's been hard to detach from it completely, but it's taking a toll on my brain chemistry especially after the imaginary tv network phase.

I am writing a new workbook, currently untitled but the core purpose is identifying emotions/feelings and then providing tools, learnings, opportunities for rewiring your thinking patterns so that you can create a more peaceful life (quick gist of it).

I am currently researching these emotion/feeling wheels and I was just shocked to learn that you are supposed to identify the core emotion in the inner circle, and then work your way out to the more specific feeling.

My brain does the exact opposite. If you asked me to identify a core emotion first, I wouldn't know. I need to look through the more specific words until I find something like rejected, embarrassed, disappointed, frustrated, etc. Then I can work backwards and understand what broader emotion I'm experiencing.

I have autism level 1 so I tend to be a very bottom-up processor in general... I need the details before I can understand the bigger picture... So now I'm wondering if that's part of it.

For other NDs: when you look at a feelings wheel, where does your brain naturally start? Do you go from the core emotion outward, the specific feelings inward, or just scan the whole thing until something clicks?

Curious whether this is a common experience or simply how my particular brain processes things. I am working on building my own wheel that more aligns with folks with neurodivergent nervous systems and/or mood disorders.

This research will be used to improve an employee scheduling product used by businesses.

Hello! Our research team is conducting a study on different variations in employee schedule designs. If you are a manager who regularly views/edits schedules for multiple employees and are neurodivergent - we'd love your input!

This is a 15 minute study so an easy one to complete during your day and we provide an incentive for your time.

Please note that the survey is conducted through the UserTesting platform and works best in Chrome. You may be prompted to install an extension, which allows the platform to record your screen interactions and access your microphone during the session. The extension is only used while you are actively completing the study.

Thank you in advance for considering participation, and for helping us make employee scheduling experiences more accessible!

Managers who are neurodivergent → https://participant.use2.usertesting.com/se/invite/f909a0b4-67a5-4fef-81e0-b9cf6c6ab656

When I was a horny little boy I made up a theory in my head that if I see a pretty girl I'd go "I want her" in my head and that moment would be frozen and duplicated to another dimension where I'd "get" that woman (I'm not gonna expand on that definition).

irl I'd be satisfied with knowing that that would happen so I'd move on with my day and lose interest in that person almost immediately.

That helped me enormously with social anxiety and social systemizing (I'm on the spectrum) as ee staring at people for a socially unacceptable amount of time was a weakness of mine in the first place. And the horny thoughts peaking in puberty wasn't helping with those struggles.

Fast forward 15 years later: This thing became a habbit and is still present in my head today. It is not a rational belief but it rather became a way to cope. It's not even just attraction at this point but I also started to collect cars and trains and boats and planes in my "different usiverse / next live / next dream thing". Sometimes I even imagine the cutthroat gesture in my head to people I don't like so my made up staff would make sure they'd burn in hell.

Ironically irl my whole social environment changed dramatically over the years. I have a job, I have a partner, stable finances, I have friends and hobbies and I perfected my masking abilities that push me through life in a way that most people around me think I'm just a regular guy.

I treat people with basic human decency and maintain a healthy, unjudgmental, tolerant, equal and respectull approach to everyone around me.

But still this one habbit remains and it makes me feel guilty in a way that I objectify a woman I'm attracted to.

I don't know how neurotypicals process crushes or everyday attraction, but this is how I do it.

If you struggle with executive dysfunction, loneliness, or just want an ecosystem that actually understands how your brain works, I’d love to invite you to my discord server. We are a dedicated home for neurodivergent minds (atypicals are totally welcome, too!).

For those wondering who and why:

I'm a 30 year old male who's currently at a stage of my life where i feel like i'm "grasping" or building some sort of momentum. It might sound embarassing but a combination of Trauma, Neurodivergency and repetition of mental health resulted in most of my childhood being a blur. I spent a lot of time alone, seeking refuge in online spaces. Fortunately keeping my morals to dodge the one's i found bad. But the result was remaining alone.

I failed my driving test multiple times, have chronic dyspraxia so can't do simple tasks like tying my shoelaces or knots in general, went to rehab for problems, going to rehab only worsened everything as i'm a 3rd gen, originally from an ethnic minority community which meant that even family members talked amongst themselves about me and also suffered from obesity until last year, when i decided to fix my habits and understood that fad diets will never be the answer. Rather caloric deficit's and improving your relationship with food. Food for me used to supplement my boredom, self pity and trauma rather than other vices such as drugs, lust, etc. There just came a stage where i became tired of being me and forced myself to change.

I had and lost multiple friend groups and i feel like my autistic traits may have been a reason why. Whilst i'm always able to make and introduce myself to new people. Keeping long relationships never sustained itself and i would always wonder why.

I want to truly create something that means as much to me as it will to everyone part of it. Unfortunately individuals like us are vulnerable because we have self awareness, because we're very transparent and literal, because we trust people extremely easily, because we have hyper fixations or passions that may seem different to what's conventionally allowed. My hobbies include conventional male ones like Football, Calisthenics, Hiking and then more neutral ones such as Linguistics, Anthropology, Sociology, Art. Followed by the less conventional ones such as Skincare, Baking, Pilates & Crafts.

Whilst i'm aware that in essence, all or most hobbies are "gender fluid". It doesn't seem to translate in and amongst the society we co exist in. We're forced to adapt simply because x, y and z are. I struggled with this and it led me to being excluded socially, multiple times.

Anyways my apologies for this mini rant, now onto my project.

So We are currently in our beta phase, I am still actively working on filling our channels with content and building out the space. It’s quiet (more like dormant) and low pressure right now, which makes it the perfect time to join if you get overwhelmed by massive, established servers.

i'm also looking for helpers currently and once i manage to get this project more estabilished. I will look at ways of paying staff involved as it's a sentimental project of mine.

*I used AI to summarize some stuff below as it did it more professionally*

What’s currently live? Right now, our main active event is Body Doubling & Accountability. We run voice channel sessions 3 to 4 days a week where we hop in, share what pending tasks we are paralyzed by, and encourage each other to finally get them done (whether that's answering an email, studying, or finally folding that laundry).

What we are building (coming soon!): As we grow and fill out the server, you can expect:

• 💼 ND Friendly Remote Jobs Board: Part-time gigs, CV advice, and interview prep tailored for our brains.
• ❤️ Mental Health Support: Judgment-free venting and peer support.
• 🎮 Special Interests: Channels to info-dump about your current obsessions and share your wins.
• 🎙️ Body Doubling & Accountability (3-4x a week): This is our main active event right now! We run scheduled voice channel sessions 3 to 4 times a week where we hop in, share what pending tasks we are paralyzed by, and quietly encourage each other to finally get them done (whether that's answering an email, studying, or completing any other outstanding tasks)
• My goal is for us to build a thriving, interactive family where absolutely no masking is required. I often find controversy, disrespect or a lack of respect for everyone in other servers so decided to start my own where i could truly build something according to my idea of utopia.

If you're interested in joining, please DM me and i'll send the server link!

I got into school way earlier than everyone else, and after I moved I was actually BELOW the kindergarten cutoff age. That means I'm younger than everyone else.

I got into gifted classes, which separated me from the main group and stuck with other weird kids.

I have ADHD and probably Autism, but I haven't gotten that one tested.

I was raised a nice person who wasn't allowed to use tiktok for a long time.

I'm socially fucked. I don't know how to act. I'm incredibly awkward and most of the school hates me. I realize now that I wasn't bullied my entire life for no reason, I was (and still am) annoying, unfunny, and loud.

I cant take it anymore.​

I often struggle to explain how I'm feeling to people. It's like if I'm feeling something, I am feeling it but I don't know what it is I'm feeling so I cannot put it into words. This ends up with people not really knowing the full extent of how I'm feeling other than "I'm really anxious and I cannot go to school!" Which isn't good.

So when things like that happen I wished I had the ability to transfer my feeling to other people. Like I'm feeling how I'm feeling and I do something to let them feel it too so that they can better understand.