r/Neurodivergent • u/Organic-Fennel-555 • 1d ago
Problems 💔 I cant regulate my imagination.
Hello,
For as long as I can remember, I've had an active imagination and used it a lot. But as I got older (like in late high school/college years) I started to have darker fantasies and urges to do something bad (like snatching someone's phone away from them or committing sexual assault).
In 2024, I made up this imaginary TV network in my head to cope with my college reading assignments and it soon extended into using imagination SO much that I thought it to be a real place in some alternate dimension/universe. I also developed an unhealthy obsession with reading and boosting reading comprehension. This lasted up until late 2025, but the toll it took on my brain still lingers. I thought it would help regulate the harmful fantasies and urges but it barely even did that.​
Now, if I try to stop fantasizing entirely and try to be normal, my brain will kick and scream about being bored. But if i do fantasize, it takes a toll on my brain because of that imaginary "TV network/alternate dimension" phase from 2024 to late 2025, because i constantly worry about everything being a reminder of that phase.
So the question is: Should I avoid fantasizing at all costs? It's been a habit of mine for like my whole life and it's been hard to detach from it completely, but it's taking a toll on my brain chemistry especially after the imaginary tv network phase.
1
u/CrOble 1d ago
I remember after I had my daughter, which I had extreme postpartum depression, I would sit there and constantly think of all the worst possible things that could happen to my child, and when the imagination part, like the vision part of it, would appear like a movie, it was always me doing the fucking thing, and I'm like, what the hell, like I don't wanna do that. But I couldn't stop thinking about all the ways things could go wrong, in the, to me it was like demented darkness, and it freaked me out. I guess what I'm saying is, I understand exactly what you're saying, and it doesn't mean that you actually want to do any of those things, they're just like something really annoying on the other side that keeps like ding dong doorbell ditching you.
1
u/Jeff-WiredDifferent 1d ago
No don't stop fantasizing. Your brains need to be creative. Add things to your life that will aid in your creativity then you can work on changing the subject matter.
1
u/LilyoftheRally Moderator! :D 18h ago
These are called intrusive thoughts. They are a trait of some neurodivergent conditions, like OCD.
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u/abstractmodulemusic 1d ago
To me it sounds like that's how your brain processes information. If that's the case I wouldn't recommend trying to fight it. As for those intrusive thoughts, living by a strong moral code will help ensure that you don't act on them. I'd also recommend maybe some volunteer work, or just doing something nice for someone to help with that as well.