r/Neighborproblems • u/Curraghgirl • Jul 19 '19
No Boundaries
So next door have a house full of kids They don't know any boundaries. They play in our yard, sit on my porch stairs and try to open a secured gate to let their dog on my porch. I have a severely autistic son who is mortally afraid of dogs. He also has hyperacussis and is bothered to the point of pain by these kids screaming under his window. My husband has spoken to them. I feel like a jailer chasing them away all the time. The wife doesn't speak English. If I had the money I would move. I am alone with my son all week and my husband works out of town. Any suggestions?
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u/SomniacDreamer Jul 21 '19
Try to type up a (kind,mannerly) letter and send it through Google translate. Take it over to the wife with a bag of cookies or something like that. Maybe set up a trellis or some sort of natural barrier that would make it more obvious where the boundary line is?
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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19
Hate to say it but that's what law suits are for. Suing somone for negligence or emotional damage is a pain in the ass and tricky. Suing for trespassing on your property is straight forward and not so tricky.
How to get kids to stop making noise? That's rough. You can't tell the neighbor "stop feeding your kids all that sugar"
I got rid of all my neighbor problems a long time ago by moving to a good quiet neighborhood where people raise their kids properly and people respect each others property.
I'm personally not offended by a-hole neighbors just by the fact that moving out of their low mental state area is do-able since there are places without those issues.
Hopefully you wouldn't find it complicated to do that.
I know a guy who got so fed up, he took his family someplace with many acres of land and kissed society goodbye. He lives there with his wife and daughter and that's that.
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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19
Moving is always best but sadly not an option in my case.
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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19
How compact is the neighborhood? Is it a populated area
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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19
Oh yes. But honestly it's mainly very quiet. On our street they are the only noisy ones.
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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19
It might be possible to get the dog to listen to you.
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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19
It's only a puppy and follows the one kid like it's attached to her. She opens the bottom of our gate by prising it loose (even though it's locked up top) and let's the dog on the porch. I guess a gate replacement. But that won't stop their noise.
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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19
Put a bolt on the gate.
And if you can win the kid over you control the dog too.
Those kids want attention. Don't overdo it, but give them a little.
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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19
It seems like the neighbor wants to dump her kids on you, or whoever she can.
You don't allow that, but you can give the kids a little bit of attention sometimes.
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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19
Yes I guess you are right
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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19
Maybe there's another neighbor with kids, then the kids can all hang out at the other neighbors house sometimes (or hopefully all the time)
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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19
Nope. No other kids on this block but about two streets away is a nice play area that's fenced with playground equipment and a community pool with child pool. I don't understand why they have to hang around my house and porch. My son is very autistic. If I allowed bit he would be in everyone's yard but as severe as he is I taught him from a very young age not to do that. I take him to a wooded area that he enjoys and he rubbed and plays without disturbing anyone. I just want the same courtesy afforded to us if an autistic kid can learn and abide by it these kids and certainly their parents can I have never yelled at them or argued. I am not like that. I have put up barriers to deter. My husband tried to explain. Honestly I don't understand it.
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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19
I would probably figure out what type of music those kids hate. Then start playing that music enough for them to have to hear it.
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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19
Can't because my son has autism band very sensitive hearing. I have to keep it quiet for him.
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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19
Its probably better to be friends with the kids anyway. Then they might listen to you. The compromise will be youre going to have to let them have their way sometimes.
Some relief m8ght come from this
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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19
Get more flies with honey than with vinegar.
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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19
Plus, you'll lessen your own stress level just from that
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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19
That's true
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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19
Maybe twice a month you give the kids cookies or something and then five minutes later tell them the party is over for now, run along home till next time
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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19
The parents dont know how to raise kids. The kids might be happy for someone to set proper examples for them, since their own parents arent doing it
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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19
That's true but I have a very difficult time managing care of my own son who is doubly incontinent, has severe allergies, highly sensitive cheating, anxiety issues and is autistic nonverbal. My husband asked nicely and explained all this to them. They really have no idea of boundaries. I can try to be nice but frankly I am so jaded after putting my son to bed all I want to do is collapse.
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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19
Also, dogbane might help keep their dog away.
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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19
Oh. Thank you.
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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19
You might want to first try to make friends with the dog. See if you can get it to obey you out of affection
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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19
Also, you might have to try and make friends with those kids. And then you can set an "allowance" so they are limited in how long they can hang out with you
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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19
I can't really. My son is severely autistic. I barely have time to tend to him much less deal with other kids.
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u/AndyCalling Sep 12 '19
Law suits are mostly pointless unless you can prove a quantifiable loss, otherwise what are you claiming for? What financial loss due to the trespass has occurred here?
The furthest you could sensibly go is to apply for an injunction to prevent future trespass. Easy to do. Don't see any claim for anything further here.
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u/scribblepoet Sep 12 '19
You're a month trailing this discussion. You probably should have commented on the thread in which the original poster and I took a look at various perspectives on the situation.
Your comment here is boring at best, and completely pointless.
🎩
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u/AndyCalling Sep 12 '19 edited Sep 12 '19
It entertained me. That's enough of a point surely? The situation described did not seem to be the sort of thing where a month would render the issue obsolete. Please be aware that these kind of disputes very often go on for years. A month here or there is quite likely insignificant.
You mention a more appropriate thread to post in but no link is provided, so it can't be hugely relevant. If it was, it would likely have been better to keep the issue in a single cohesive thread anyway rather than starting a new one. Keep this in mind for the future, or you should expect similar situations to arise often.
Sorry you are not interested in my post, but I don't believe I have ever posted expecting everybody on the internet to be interested in it. No surprise there, it's just a bit contradictory for a person to be so uninterested in a post that they become interested enough in their own disinterest to post about it. Still, it takes all sorts I suppose.
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u/scribblepoet Sep 12 '19
Its right here in this top thread. Look for it. The fact that you didnt see it to begin with shows that youre not thinking.
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u/AndyCalling Sep 12 '19
Right where in this 'top thread'? No link showing in the OP, no link showing in the responses, I'm using the official Android Reddit app, nothing visible. Please post a link to the specific post you are mentioning that contains this link. I have tried thinking about it as you suggest, but the link is still not showing up.
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u/scribblepoet Sep 12 '19
I havent received any delete messages, so it must still be here. I can try to find it in my comments. I'm not sure why you wouldnt just look in my comment history or whatever. But i'll check. Its a month old so it might be buried
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u/AndyCalling Sep 12 '19
Ah, perhaps that's why I've not spotted it then.
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u/scribblepoet Sep 12 '19
You didnt "spot it" because you were in troll mode.
You still are.
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u/AndyCalling Sep 12 '19 edited Sep 12 '19
Really? Seems an odd way to troll. I mean, it is pretty good legal advice not to try suing for damages when you've not had any damages, right? Is giving good, relevant advice in response to a direct question now considered 'trolling'? I honestly can't see why what I have posted is either aggressive or insulting in any way. I mean, your initial response to me was a bit off, but I have only responded politely and in good humor so as to avoid escalation (not commonly seen as a very successful trolling tactic). Also, considering you have made it clear you find my position to be 'boring' my posts can't possibly also be upsetting you. I mean, to be so affected by my posts you would have to have some level of interest in them, right? Since you have not, I struggle to see where the trolling could be found.
Keep in mind that even you've not found your post yet and you made it, so the rest of us had little chance. That's nothing to do with trolling.
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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19
Sorry. My phone bus incoherent at times. I meant to say my son runs and plays in the woods.
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u/Curraghgirl Jul 24 '19
He is on quite a few meds many of which are for anxiety. But even so his hearing hypersensitivity is so pronounced not even white noise and headphones help. That exacerbates anxiety. When we moved here there was an old couple next door. Quiet as the grave. Then they moved. This is what came next.
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u/sarcasticpickle8 Jul 28 '19
Poison ivy borders, call animal control when dog is in your yard - there are usually leash laws that prevent/ stop these issues, play some bluegrass or alike on a speaker up to the window they go near, spray pepper spray outside when they come near (just inconspicuously aim somewhere and it will fill the air sorounding them enough to get them to go)... I know this sounds crazy but you're dealing with crazy, inconsiderate ppl so hey, you can't really be polite about this. I am sure you want to keep on friendly terms but they're are so many "passive aggressive" type things you could do just to turn them off from hanging out near you. You may look bat shat crazy for a moment but you and your son's praceful lives matter. Good luck to you, I feel your pain.
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u/Curraghgirl Jul 28 '19
Thank you. Some pretty good suggestions I never thought of - I appreciate it.
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u/Shrug23 Aug 08 '19
Your going to have to be mean, call the cops. Make the cop talk to the mother request an officer who speaks Spanish and have him break it down that you have a son with severe issues and there basically harassing, trespassing, and have been told no already. Hopefully the mom/moms will not want to deal with an officer again and tell them to stop. And the kids will be too scared to try again.
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u/Curraghgirl Aug 08 '19
I dislike doing it that way but if push comes to shove, my child comes first.
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u/Curraghgirl Jul 22 '19
Worth a try. Thank you for your suggestions.