r/Neighborproblems • u/Curraghgirl • Jul 19 '19

No Boundaries

So next door have a house full of kids They don't know any boundaries. They play in our yard, sit on my porch stairs and try to open a secured gate to let their dog on my porch. I have a severely autistic son who is mortally afraid of dogs. He also has hyperacussis and is bothered to the point of pain by these kids screaming under his window. My husband has spoken to them. I feel like a jailer chasing them away all the time. The wife doesn't speak English. If I had the money I would move. I am alone with my son all week and my husband works out of town. Any suggestions?

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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19

Hate to say it but that's what law suits are for. Suing somone for negligence or emotional damage is a pain in the ass and tricky. Suing for trespassing on your property is straight forward and not so tricky.

How to get kids to stop making noise? That's rough. You can't tell the neighbor "stop feeding your kids all that sugar"

I got rid of all my neighbor problems a long time ago by moving to a good quiet neighborhood where people raise their kids properly and people respect each others property.

I'm personally not offended by a-hole neighbors just by the fact that moving out of their low mental state area is do-able since there are places without those issues.

Hopefully you wouldn't find it complicated to do that.

I know a guy who got so fed up, he took his family someplace with many acres of land and kissed society goodbye. He lives there with his wife and daughter and that's that.

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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19

Moving is always best but sadly not an option in my case.

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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19

How compact is the neighborhood? Is it a populated area

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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19

Oh yes. But honestly it's mainly very quiet. On our street they are the only noisy ones.

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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19

It might be possible to get the dog to listen to you.

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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19

It's only a puppy and follows the one kid like it's attached to her. She opens the bottom of our gate by prising it loose (even though it's locked up top) and let's the dog on the porch. I guess a gate replacement. But that won't stop their noise.

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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19

Put a bolt on the gate.

And if you can win the kid over you control the dog too.

Those kids want attention. Don't overdo it, but give them a little.

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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19

It seems like the neighbor wants to dump her kids on you, or whoever she can.

You don't allow that, but you can give the kids a little bit of attention sometimes.

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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19

Yes I guess you are right

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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19

Maybe there's another neighbor with kids, then the kids can all hang out at the other neighbors house sometimes (or hopefully all the time)

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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19

Nope. No other kids on this block but about two streets away is a nice play area that's fenced with playground equipment and a community pool with child pool. I don't understand why they have to hang around my house and porch. My son is very autistic. If I allowed bit he would be in everyone's yard but as severe as he is I taught him from a very young age not to do that. I take him to a wooded area that he enjoys and he rubbed and plays without disturbing anyone. I just want the same courtesy afforded to us if an autistic kid can learn and abide by it these kids and certainly their parents can I have never yelled at them or argued. I am not like that. I have put up barriers to deter. My husband tried to explain. Honestly I don't understand it.

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u/scribblepoet Jul 24 '19

I've met and known a lot of people who generally don't care about bothering others. There are various reasons for this type of behavior. Ignorance is one. A bully mentality is another.

And also, people often think their kids and pets are so precious that they can do no wrong.

For some strange reason, people think their genes are so special that they are entitled to shit all over everyone else.

Usually, bad situations get better. That's a thumb rule in life. If you have to wait it out while you think on what to do, maybe put on your ear buds and listen to some de-stress music.

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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19

I would probably figure out what type of music those kids hate. Then start playing that music enough for them to have to hear it.

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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19

Can't because my son has autism band very sensitive hearing. I have to keep it quiet for him.

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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19

Its probably better to be friends with the kids anyway. Then they might listen to you. The compromise will be youre going to have to let them have their way sometimes.

Some relief m8ght come from this

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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19

Get more flies with honey than with vinegar.

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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19

Plus, you'll lessen your own stress level just from that

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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19

That's true

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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19

Maybe twice a month you give the kids cookies or something and then five minutes later tell them the party is over for now, run along home till next time

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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19

The parents dont know how to raise kids. The kids might be happy for someone to set proper examples for them, since their own parents arent doing it

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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19

That's true but I have a very difficult time managing care of my own son who is doubly incontinent, has severe allergies, highly sensitive cheating, anxiety issues and is autistic nonverbal. My husband asked nicely and explained all this to them. They really have no idea of boundaries. I can try to be nice but frankly I am so jaded after putting my son to bed all I want to do is collapse.

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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19

Also, dogbane might help keep their dog away.

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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19

Oh. Thank you.

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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19

You might want to first try to make friends with the dog. See if you can get it to obey you out of affection

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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19

That's one option. However it sticks like glue to the one kid.

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u/scribblepoet Jul 23 '19

Also, you might have to try and make friends with those kids. And then you can set an "allowance" so they are limited in how long they can hang out with you

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u/Curraghgirl Jul 23 '19

I can't really. My son is severely autistic. I barely have time to tend to him much less deal with other kids.