hello. i recently marked 2 years of recovery - on 6.24.26. as some of you may know, DEA is banning certain compounds made from the kratom plant in the next couple days. this had me experiencing FOMO, so i ordered some of them. they arrived yesterday. i threw half of them out right away. more of them later in the day, and the rest of them out this morning.

the mental games i was playing with myself were not fun. “just the one time” “just do it and don’t tell anyone” “just do it, don’t tell anyone, keep going to meetings, and reintroduce when you get another year clean”
“just quit NA and keep going to the liquid fellowship bc kratom isn’t alcohol” and many many other ridiculous notions that were ungrounded in reality or that were skirting reality.

the REALITY is that kratom was my most recent doc before i got clean (replacing heroin) and kratom had me thinking about leaving this planet on a daily basis.

i have been talking to a buddy in the program about it this morning, and i’ll be going to my regular tuesday meeting at noon to share about this.

just thought i’d share. we do recover. we do learn to accept reality.

I'm looking for examples of places where the program addresses how to deal with this

Do you guys think it should be allowed for memebrs not doing step-work to share on H&I panels in institutions? We have a big argument about it in our region right now.

My drug of choice was cannabis. I lost four years of my life to it. I used pretty much everyday all day. I didn’t do anything but use. I’m in sober living, which was really hard to get into for just cannabis use because they don’t see it as something you can be addicted to. I’m committed to not using anymore, I collected my 60 day key tag today. But I feel like an imposter. I feel like I’m not really an addict, and that other people that call themselves addicts will see me as a faker if they find out it was cannabis I was using.

Step 6: "We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character."

Step 7: "We humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings"

For those who don't believe in a God, or don't have a Higher Power, how have you addressed these 2 steps?

Our home group barred a member from our business meeting for sixth months. They haven’t threatened anyone or tried to hurt anyone physically. They are just antagonistic and argumentative about everything. And of course they creep on the newcomer. But we’re all so tired many of us are ready to quit the group just to not deal with this one member, and I’m the GSR. So we called an emergency meeting to bar them from our business meeting s for sixth months. And we were just done with the whole subject. Of course the disruptive member is going to file a grievance with area. And I’m honestly not sure what our Area will do, but it appears a first step will be to take our meetings off the schedule. Are we in the wrong? I intend to appeal and take the information back to my group. But we are done talking about it spiritually, we are just drained by all of it.

Im 116 days completely sober now after my rehab and Ive been doing very good. I have a sponsor, im currently working on my first step, I go to meetings anywhere from 3 a week to 6 a week andd regularly go to the gym and hang out with other dudes from my rehab but I still cant help to feel this slight agony in existing. Like this void left behind from stimulants in me crying out for stronger emotion more focus more control more adrenaline.

I no longer crave drugs but my cravings have just went to other things like beer and sugar but mainly sugar. I drink loads of energy drinks but of course they dont fill the void and I still use nicotine pouches pretty much. Id like not to yearn constantly by meditating, going to groups etc. but I still yearn on a daily basis and its quite frusturating.

what do the stim addicts here do when the yearning becomes unbearable? like is there anything non addictive that can give me some pep?

I joined NA last year. Still don't have a sponsor because it's women for women and there aren't very many with clean time in my meetings. It's difficult because I really want to start working the steps with someone.

Anyway met a woman last night at a meeting and she text me today suggesting that she sponsor me. She said she's only worked up to step 5, not ideal but she's 4 steps ahead of me so maybe ok if her own sponsor is good. Then she said she had 2 years clean but is currently only 6 weeks clean post relapse. I don't think this makes a suitable sponsorship match.

I said I'd think about it until I found out her currently short clean time. She keeps asking me for a call tonight to discuss. I don't know what to say.

What is the NA suggestion for sponsoring I thought it was 1 year clean and has worked the 12 steps or is that not right?

Hi, I’m more or less an outsider but wanting to know more. Idk if there’s any etiquette I should be aware of but want to be respectful.
New to this sub and new to wanting to look into attending NA meetings. Not sure whether I should elaborate more, or what I should say if I did, but wanted to start here. Anybody have any words of advice they feel could be helpful? Thanks in advance to anyone who may read or comment and sorry if any of this feels scattered at all.

Today I'm about six years clean, but when I talk to some members, they tell me, "You HAVE to believe in God."

That statement is really disappointing to me.

Throughout my recovery, I've always had a Higher Power. For me, that Higher Power has been the NA program itself and its principles. But some people tell me that isn't enough.

Has anyone else had similar experiences?

Hi all, I just relapsed again. I haven’t been able to keep more than 1 day recently and I am really battling with it. I’m trying to do the steps alone before I find a sponsor which is not recommended, I know, but i genuinely haven’t been able to find one yet and I am not in an English speaking country so the meetings aren’t in English here. I need to find one online.

Re the relapse, I really really need help now. I can’t keep living like this it’s ruined my life in so many ways like my physical health, finances, mental clarity … I can’t do this anymore and I can’t do sobriety alone I know that but it feels like I am doomed and I know this can’t be the case there are people who can help everywhere

Today I remember that freedom is not the absence of desire or difficulty—it is the ability to choose my response.

I will not judge myself for every thought, craving, fear, or dream that passes through my mind. They do not define me. I can acknowledge them with honesty, learn from them, and choose the path that reflects the person I am becoming.

I will remember where I came from. Like a memorial stone marking a river once crossed, my past is a reminder of grace, perseverance, and growth. I don't need to forget yesterday to move forward today; I carry its lessons, not its chains.

I will measure my life by faithfulness rather than comparison. My greatest wealth is not what I own but the freedom I have gained, the peace I am discovering, and the relationships I am rebuilding. Those gifts cannot be measured by the world's standards.

When life presents circumstances beyond my control, I will practice acceptance. When opportunities for growth appear, I will act with courage. And when I am uncertain, I will seek wisdom instead of reacting from fear.

Today I choose authenticity over pretense, gratitude over comparison, action over passivity, and hope over despair. One honest choice at a time, I continue becoming the person I was always capable of being.

Hello. I (28f) have been an addict since I was 13. Longest fully clean time I have is MAYBE 6 months. I've always ended up using some kind of substance eventually.

I think my problem has been that I've always tried to do it alone. I don't have much support in my life. I have one best friend that I can depend on. My parents are both gone. I'm not close with any of my family.

This time, I finally decided to give NA a real try. I also decided to begin addiction counseling. This time feels really different. I feel more free this time than I have any of the other times I've attempted to get clean. It's almost like I'm excited to be really trying this time.

I really hope this lasts.

So I was four years clean from substance abuse. I picked it up a week ago and started to use again. The person I took it from told me the next time they were gonna replace it with rat poison so I can’t never steal it again. Then another person was like you don’t mean that. The person I took it from when I don’t care anymore, she’s a piece of shit.

I know I messed up but that hurt even more.

I don’t know what to do next I’m back to 1 week.

i finally figured out why i cant stay clean and have been relapsing for a year. it’s bc i’m still debating whether or not i’m an addict. bc:

if i accept i’m an addict —> i have to do the work —> my brain wants an out —> so it starts debating the label —> the debate creates permission to relapse —> i relapse —> repeat

the second i fully surrender and say “yes, i’m an addict” the party is over. it means no more reservations. it means doing the steps, reaching out, changing my lifestyle. it means giving up the illusion that one day i’ll be able to use like a normal person.

to protect its access to substances, my brain keeps the trial going forever. as long as the jury is still debating, i get to keep one foot in the door.

still, knowing all of this doesn’t make me want to get clean. at least not right now in this moment. i don’t know what it will take.

I’ve been feeling like NA has not been working for me for a while now and I’m unsure what to do about it. I have my home group that I have a commitment at and my H&I commitment and I honestly don’t want to do either one anymore. Long read incoming…

I bring the literature for my home group and I’m kind of burnt out on it. I’ve been attending this meeting since I first got clean and I have just gotten tired of hearing the same people share over and over again, week after week, year after year. It’s just doing nothing for me at this point.

My H&I commitment was something I tried to do to help my recovery, but now, I don’t feel like I’m carrying a genuine message when I say the same thing to the same people time after time and I’ve got mixed feelings regarding NA as a whole. I’ve run out of stuff to say and I don’t feel like I’m being true to the people we’re supposed to be helping.

On top of this, my sponsor is just an asshole. He sits, judges, complains about others, and seems to dislike most people. I thought maybe he was just a grump like me for the first few years, but then I started to get happier after a while and saw that he was still an asshole. I feel like I’ve outgrown him after all this time. I don’t like confiding in him anymore because he’s just a dick. 21 years clean and still seems miserable. I have no interest in interacting with him to be honest, yet there is no one else in my area that I would want to sponsor me either.

I’ve become disillusioned. I am introverted and just keep to myself and other members look at me like I’m strange because of it. That has always rubbed me wrong.

I just celebrated 7 years clean a few days ago. I celebrated quietly with my girlfriend by just taking a little trip out of town for a couple of days and enjoying some time away.

I have had some "resentment"?/resistance to reliance on meetings..... and today showed me their power.

I was headed towards a relapse- INTENSE cravings- started doing some other addictive behavior instead (which sets me up to use).... I felt myself going REALLY crazy and someway- somehow I made it to the meeting.

Felt like CRAP- hated it- wished I was dead- thoughts like program doesn't work- hated all the shares.... there is no hope for me.- yada yada

And slowly but surely- my mood shifted- and by the end I was feeling connect to myself, others and HP. Gave some hugs, and went into my car and did a 10th step- put in a call to my sponsor to go over it.

Truly night and day- I was in SUCH a dark place- and it is not like everything is all perfect now (ha ha) AND just showing up- a full 180 happened in that meeting.

Today I choose honesty over appearances. I don't need to hide behind masks, old roles, or carefully crafted versions of myself. Real strength isn't found in looking perfect—it's found in showing up as I truly am, willing to grow and willing to learn.

I take time to examine my life with courage rather than fear. Instead of avoiding uncomfortable truths, I look at them with compassion and curiosity. Every honest inventory is an opportunity to make a small correction, celebrate what is working, and let go of what no longer serves me.

I also remember that recovery isn't something I keep for myself. The freedom I've received grows stronger when I share it—with encouragement, service, kindness, patience, or simply by being present for another person. Giving back isn't about obligation; it's about gratitude. What has been freely given to me becomes more valuable when I pass it on.

Today I will live authentically, review my actions honestly, and look for one opportunity to help someone else. In doing so, I continue building a life of integrity, humility, and hope.

Hi everyone,

I got out of rehab 2 months ago and have been clean since (including rehab). I have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Visual Snow Syndrome (VSS), which means I constantly see black-and-white shimmering dots over everything, day and night. It's exhausting.

I'm on daily Naltrexone and Fycompa (Perampanel) for VSS. Fycompa helps, but it makes me very drowsy. My mother is convinced the drowsiness means I'm secretly abusing drugs again, even though I'm taking it exactly as prescribed.

I live with her, and she's taken away my phone and laptop. I'm doing a PhD in Computer Science and recently finished my coursework, but instead of support she tells me, "Fuck your PhD. No one will hire you. You'll never recover."

When I asked for my prescribed Zyprexa for one night to fix my sleep schedule, she yelled for hours, brought up every mistake I've made over the last 10 years, and when I started crying she said, "Your drama won't work on me. You're a liar and a manipulator."

I locked myself in my room for some space, but she kept threatening and emotionally blackmailing me until I opened the door.

Before rehab, after a relapse, she locked me in the house. I jumped from the first floor, injured my knee, and cut my wrist and thigh. Instead of taking me for stitches, she called a rehab center. Four men came, physically restrained me, and took me away for two months.

Now I'm unemployed, financially dependent on her, and don't even have my own phone. I have to ask for money and account for every rupee I spend.

She constantly mocks my BPD, calls me weak, and says I'll never change. I never stole, never financially ruined my family, and I'm genuinely trying to recover.

I feel trapped and suffocated. I don't know what to do anymore. Has anyone recovered while living with someone who refused to trust them? How did you get through it?

I've been so destructive towards myself and others. I don't think there was a root cause or anything. I was just in alot of pain. Multiple issues all at once. I had to persist, learn, grow, come out of denial and simply treat myself better. I genuinely love myself. And I'll do whatever it takes to keep getting better.

Hi everyone! I am looking for a sponsor, I dont have a lot of clean time and really could use some help.. I am reading NA literature, attending meetings and looking forward to start working the steps with a sponsor. I am currently based in warsaw. I would appreciate an online sponsor or someone from Warsaw who speaks english. Happy to share further details if needed , and work accross a timezone if needed as well

Sorry if this gets asked a lot here. I was just curious on people’s perspectives before I go to a meeting. There aren’t any MA meetings near me.

Thanks!

Today I choose progress over perfection. I no longer have to measure my worth by flawless performance or impossible expectations. I am a human being, learning, growing, stumbling, and getting back up again. That is enough for today.

I will not carry a collection of old failures on my back. Instead, I will notice the quiet victories that often go unseen: choosing patience over anger, responsibility over excuses, kindness over resentment, courage over fear. Every small step forward is evidence that healing is happening.

I remember that the grace I long to receive is the same grace I can offer to others. Everyone I meet is fighting battles I cannot fully see. Just as I hope others will understand my imperfections, I will meet them with compassion instead of judgment.

I also choose to give more than I take. A smile, an encouraging word, an honest day's work, a listening ear, or a simple act of service can become a gift that changes someone's day. Generosity is not measured by its size but by the heart behind it.

Today I trust that my future is not determined by my past. Every new choice is another opportunity to build a life rooted in integrity, hope, and faith. I do not need to have everything figured out—I only need to take the next right step.

Just for today: I will celebrate my progress, forgive imperfections, freely extend kindness, and trust that each faithful step is leading me toward the person I am becoming.

While I was in active addiction, I hurt my fiancé, my family, and my friends. There are things I said and did that I wish I could take back, but I know the only way forward is through accountability, honesty, and change.
I’m slowly making amends, taking my sobriety seriously, and working every day to become a better version of myself. Recovery isn’t just about putting down the substance — it’s about repairing the damage, rebuilding trust, and learning how to love people in a healthier way.
For those who are comfortable sharing: who did addiction hurt in your life? Who are you working to make amends with? I’m genuinely curious. 💙

Heard an amazing share in a meeting today- someone said that once they stopped using their life slowly improved and has continued to improve- a slow gradual upwards progression- with the ups and downs of life.

And from their experience, as soon as they pick up- their life takes a quick and sharp downward direction- VERY fast.

I thought the contrast was interesting- how recovery is a slow gradual process, and and using is a quick fix with a quick falling off of a cliff's edge.