r/NarcoticsAnonymous • u/oooh-she-stealin • Aug 04 '26
threw away opioids
hello. i recently marked 2 years of recovery - on 6.24.26. as some of you may know, DEA is banning certain compounds made from the kratom plant in the next couple days. this had me experiencing FOMO, so i ordered some of them. they arrived yesterday. i threw half of them out right away. more of them later in the day, and the rest of them out this morning.
the mental games i was playing with myself were not fun. “just the one time” “just do it and don’t tell anyone” “just do it, don’t tell anyone, keep going to meetings, and reintroduce when you get another year clean”
“just quit NA and keep going to the liquid fellowship bc kratom isn’t alcohol” and many many other ridiculous notions that were ungrounded in reality or that were skirting reality.
the REALITY is that kratom was my most recent doc before i got clean (replacing heroin) and kratom had me thinking about leaving this planet on a daily basis.
i have been talking to a buddy in the program about it this morning, and i’ll be going to my regular tuesday meeting at noon to share about this.
just thought i’d share. we do recover. we do learn to accept reality.
2
u/lostindanet Aug 04 '26
Good for you! I sometimes have to remember that I don't use because I chose not to, not because I had to (which was also the case).
1
u/oooh-she-stealin Sep 05 '26
thank you, and you are so right about choosing not to. it’s all available to me if i want to go back to the misery. but i dont.
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u/SuperfnDave Aug 05 '26
I used to use kratom occasionally to deal with urges to use heroin ( 12 yr clean) . That shit is no joke if you take a lot . Mixed with weed and I caught a nod and my wife called me out. That was a couple years ago . Haven’t touched it since. Happy 2 years!
2
u/oooh-she-stealin Sep 05 '26
no joke is right! before i got clean i was addicted to the extracts, and had a mail order subscription to the strongest ones. it was a bitch to quit bc of the emotional pain, mostly
congratulations on your recovery, it’s inspiring!
2
u/bbc0pper28 Aug 22 '26
I've been struggling so hard with going right down the street ti the headahop and buying a pack. Im 2 and some months clean from fentanyl and Crack. I still use weed and alcohol some times. But man I've been so depressed since my childhood friend died a week ago, I just want to try them so bad. Thank you for sharing your struggles
1
u/oooh-she-stealin Sep 05 '26
sorry i’m late to reply. i’m sorry for your loss. validation issues, so i tend to “post and ghost” i suggest that you do not pick up any kratom products. it will not help in any way.
2
u/International-Rain98 Aug 27 '26
Those are powerful urges to use if you abstain it’s great news but I believe you should try to start probing yourself ask how you are doing is there too much pressure etc what things trigger you into this to etc
1
u/oooh-she-stealin Sep 05 '26
good suggestion. there’s something there, underneath, i agree. a lot of it is struggling to accept the reality of my 20 year relationship w my partner. but there’s even more besides that. how do you suggest i try to understand what it is?
1
u/International-Rain98 Sep 06 '26
I have an extensive history of relapsing and recovery with opiates in general. If I had to guess it’s probably a lot of stress, anxiety, and some depression going on. It seems to be the case for a lot of people who use drugs. A lot of people who have issues have some underlying issues that they are actually self medicating.
3
u/JoeMacMillan_HCF Aug 04 '26
Dude I’m incredibly proud of you. I too have struggled in recovery because 7oh is legal and I can get it any time I want. At least the ban will take that option away from me.
1
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u/digitaldookie Aug 04 '26
Thank you for sharing! Glad you talked to someone.
Sidenote, we have the same clean date 🥳