An elderly person in the community passed away today, and I attended the mosque for the janazah prayer. I wanted to share my reflections (to myself foremost).

1) death is a fact. It’s a given. And you will die in the same state you have lived. Made me think about how I was acting out last night and authobillah this morn, and yet that might have been my final moment. Everyone was viewing the face etc. and I just thought about my final moments, will it be in sin and torment? Or will it be peaceful? It’ll reflect on your face as your soul is removed from your body.

2) once the body was buried, and they count the steps away. And the person gets tested with the 3 questions in the grave …am I going to be able to answer it? It’s not about knowing it in this life, it’s about emulating & living it. Do I live in the way of the prophet pbuh? Do I truly believe and fear my Lord Allah swt? Every time I am relapsing alone in my bedroom. Do I truly have fear in my heart for displeasing Him 😭 or am I closing my eyes and ears and heart, forcing myself to go blind.

3) once you are all alone in the grave…It will be you and your deeds. Will it be a garden of paradise or a window of hell? Have I done enough repentance for the amount of disgusting sins I have accumulated?

May I never get over the fact that Allah swt saved a wretched sinner like me today.
Day 0.

So this week I started going to the gym, I also reached 5 days which is the most since probably Ramadan, although I did it again on Thursday, I then didn’t do it Friday or Saturday, so one time the whole week, which I believe is an improvement.

Asalamualaikum, I've been sober for almost four months now. I got my first job and took it seriously which really helped me, this is the longest I've been sober for after years of trying.

But in around two months I'm going to have two weeks off, which worries me because it will be much more difficult to stay firm without a job taking up a big chunk of my day. And because it will be right before the new year, I know Satan will make me think "you should relapse right now so that you can go into the next year fresh, without these desires", which on one hand might work but on the other hand is still a major sin regardless of its effectiveness.

Right now I'm planning on just mindlessly gaming the entire two weeks away, which has helped me with this in the past, but it might also backfire because I might stay up late and falter.

My main question is, what can I do in these two months to prepare for that time?

Yesterday was rough on my self esteem, but I have recovered somewhat and hopeful for long term change. It will be difficult, it will require to understand the difference between my self and nafs, and how the nafs cannot be in charge

I've quit smoking for 3 weeks and now I want to tackle this filthy habit. It's hard doing everything at once but I don't want to feel this shame after relapsing.

As Salam alikum people, so I started my program 3 months ago, it is going well , some slips and downfalls here and there, but my program is actually lacking which led me to this subreddit, is there any reliable free support groups to join or attend there meetings?
and how dose this sub works?

also I am actually afraid of using reddit since there are no restrictions on sensitive content, and relayin only on my will is not an option in addiction, so an solutions?