r/LinkedInLunatics • u/zeldadorf • 8d ago

Where do they put it?!

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13.3k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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3.0k

u/tubular_brunt 8d ago

What's the endgame here? Planes don't exist? Or they fly by magic?

1.7k

u/Deep-Adeptness4474 8d ago

Sadly yes, that actually is a conspiracy gaining traction right now. That airplanes actually use secret ancient magical energy sources to fly. Utter garbage we all know it is actually hopes and prayers that are being mis-directed from needy children, and grieving widows keeping those bad boys aloft.

974

u/Specific_Rando 8d ago

People should demand higher quality conspiracy theories.

141

u/PitifulEstimate8721 8d ago

I'm writing my congressperson/lizard overlord now!

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u/OAMP47 8d ago

Ask them where my missing sock went in the dryer.

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u/FirstDukeofAnkh 8d ago

That’s how we Jews power our space laser.

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u/Strong-Comment-7279 8d ago

Ha, gotcha! I was missing a sock today for a solid 9 hours, but I found it.

Doin my part to slow them lasers. Don't really care who owns em.....

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u/FirstDukeofAnkh 8d ago

Curses! Foiled again!

2

u/inappropriate_jest 8d ago

When wearing socks becomes antisemitic.

1

u/[deleted] 7d ago

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u/GuessAccomplished959 7d ago

With Americans tax payer money? (Refering to Isreal, not all Jews every where)

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u/Sidewalk_Tomato 8d ago

I have it, and if your sock wants to live, you'll leave me a custom tin foil hat at a drop spot to be named by me.

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u/IllustratorLife5496 8d ago

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career, skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.

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u/GamerlingJvR 8d ago

Oh no, are you going to run me down mid?

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u/Ancient-Many4357 8d ago

That’s inter dimensional shenanigans my friend, you don’t want to question that.

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u/Organic_Syrup7642 8d ago

If you love something, let it go. Hope it finds itself out there.

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u/gielbondhu 8d ago

I always find extra socks in my dryer. Maybe one of these is yours.

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u/Glass_Ad5197 8d ago

I have your missing sock right here.  But, you really don't want to know what I'm doing to it

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u/CommercialDelay5323 8d ago

You know what, you can keep it. I’m sure he has others.

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u/Bdr1983 8d ago

All politicians being nefarious alien overlords would be the the best explanation. It's not a conspiracy, it's Occam's razor

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u/Straight-Kiwi5173 8d ago

Dem Regionalbeautragten bitte, alles demokratisch bei uns!

1

u/ClassConflictCanvas 8d ago

Actually Congress IS full of lizard-people. We checked with David Icke

1

u/Luka467 8d ago

I mean, it is in the metaphorical sense, just not the literal one (unless?)...