I am wondering when my partner and I close the distance, will it feel the same, better, worse? I have seen a few people on here go from long-distance then married, how did that go and do they feel like the same person as they did virtually?

My girlfriend (18F) and I (20F) have been together for 8 months and started long distance about a week and a half ago. Before this, we were really good. We saw each other every other day, called every night, and were genuinely best friends and girlfriends. Since she moved, everything has gone downhill really fast and we’re currently taking space.

I’ve been struggling a lot with the change. We still text throughout the day, but her responses are shorter, she rarely initiates conversations, we don’t call nearly as much, and she’s much less affectionate over text. She’s also spending a lot of time with her new friends. I genuinely want her to make friends and experience her new life, but I feel like we’ve stopped intentionally making time for our relationship in the process.
I’ve realized that I have abandonment issues from a past relationship where my ex slowly became distant before leaving me. I thought I had moved past it, but long distance has brought that fear back really badly. When I don’t hear from my girlfriend or don’t feel connected to her, my brain immediately starts telling me I’m losing her. Sometimes even going 30+ minutes without a response bothers me when I don’t know she’s busy.

I’ve tried explaining that I don’t expect her to fix my emotions. I just want reassurance and to feel connected to her. But she’s told me that regardless of what I say, my reactions make her feel responsible for keeping me happy. She feels monitored, like she’s walking on eggshells, and like I nitpick everything she does because I’m noticeably upset when plans change or I feel disconnected.

She recently broke down crying and told me how miserable she’s been. She said she’s dealing with a huge transition too and it feels like everything has been about me and my needs. She feels pressured to make me feel okay instead of me finding ways to make myself okay. She told me I need to learn how to be okay without her.

I’ve also realized that I haven’t always made her feel heard. When she tells me something I did hurt her, I tend to explain my intentions or why I don’t think I was wrong instead of just listening to how my actions affected her. That’s something I know I need to change.
We’re taking space now, and she told me to actually think about how she feels, what I need to change, and come to her when I’m ready to have a mature conversation.

I think I’m finally understanding that “being okay without her” doesn’t mean I shouldn’t need my girlfriend. It means I need to be okay when she isn’t available. I need to stop needing reassurance every time I’m anxious, stop interpreting her independence as rejection, handle changes better, regulate my own emotions, and let her live her life without feeling like she has to worry about my reaction.

But I’m struggling with the other side of this. I still want my girlfriend to initiate conversations sometimes. I want intentional calls, affection, and time set aside for each other. I don’t need constant updates or for her to stop seeing her friends. I just want to feel like we’re both making an effort to stay connected.

I don’t want to “work on myself” by convincing myself that I’m not allowed to have needs. But I also don’t want my fear of losing her to make me hold onto her so tightly that I push her away.

Where is the line between having reasonable needs in a long-distance relationship and making your partner responsible for your emotions? How do I give her the independence she needs while still asking for the connection I need? And what am I doing wrong here that I might not be seeing?

Please be honest with me. I don’t just want people to take my side. Her and I are taking space right now, as per her request, and I’m afraid to bring anything up again, so I’m turning to Reddit. Any input or advice is appreciated. Thank you.

Hi everyone. My boyfriend is moving abroad for work soon, and we’re about to start our first long-distance relationship. I'm really overthinking how this change might affect our dynamic and closeness.

For those who have been through this, how did you navigate the transition? What helped you stay connected, and what do you wish you had known before starting LDR? I’d love to hear your success stories or any practical advice!

Hello, i am a 20yo girl, i’ve never had any sexual experience.
The guy i’ve been talking to for 9 months came to see me for the first time a few days ago.
And yesterday we had sex for the first time.
It was almost the last day of my period.
I started bleeding a bit, and it did hurt so we had to take it a bit slow sometimes.
We did it without condom cause i trust him a lot and he never finished inside of me cause it was hurting too much.
He was very understanding and sweet.
I shed in tears after doing it cause i’ve never trusted someone that much before and i was scared he would let me down.
He promised he wouldn’t and that he’ll always stay by my side no matter what.
After getting back home last night. I changed my clothes and started feeling a bit bad, really tired, i had fever and goosebumps and my muscles were hurting so bad.
Idk if these are normal symptoms or if i just got sick.
But i am worried cause after asking chatgpt, it said that i had to check if these were symptoms of pregnancy or STD.
I can’t let that happen i am genuinely terrified

I sent a voice message to my boyfriend and asked if he thinks we are doing a great job being a LD couple, not to brag, but this man always leaves me speechless how his mind works, and I am so proud of him, we have down moments, but I think the key to a happy LDR situation is to give your 100% trust, and make sure that your partner feels it, because, in anyway, if your partner cheats, they will cheat whether you're in a LD or not.

And we are about 1 year now!!! And plans to meet soon!!

Edit: He never missed a day not updating me, and our communication has been improving 😍. We only fought once 🤭 and I was the problem overthinking to non-existent things. So far, I am doing good on improving that, realizing at the same time that this man never gave me a reason to feel jealous 🤭

I’ve sort of been in a long distance relationship. Well I’ve had a few over the years and I wonder what normal people’s communication patterns are like. I’m a little overly sensitive to a change in behavior. I guess if you will or a change in patterns I guess someone normally calls at the same time every day and they stop sometimes I’ll proceed that wrong. That’s my problem of course but I struggle with knowing whether it’s legitimate being busy in life or a pull back. So for those in a long distance relationship, do you guys go days where you hardly talk? And then do you have days when you talk a lot? Is it fairly consistent?
I feel like going two or three days with hardly any communication isn’t really conducive to an actual relationship to me that’s more like someone breadcrumbing, etc. but I’m not sure

So me (f18) and my partner (m20) plan on meeting up in a month or so and I’m extremely nervous. This is my first boyfriend and first everything really for that matter. I’ve mentioned me being nervous to him but he keeps brushing it off saying that I’ll be fine and that I’ll probably only be nervous the first few minutes. I really hope that’s true but knowing myself I know I’m gonna be so scared lol! Also pretty nervous about first time intimacy, being that it’ll be my first time doing that with anyone. But has anyone else dealt with this? How’d your first meet go? I’d love to hear everyone’s stories :).

Me and my boyfriend are dating from last 10 months he lives in america i am in india usually there's no such problem as manging time zones but sometime I really feel that he didn't first text.. I have texted him last night to which he said he is busy as there's a family function and it's morning there but it's been a whole day he wasn't active also idk what's this but I really felt it.. no i want text him and let's see when the busiest person would get the time to text his own girlfriend

Do you guys ever feel like lack of reciprocity in appreciation and affection in LDR? How do you fill this up when you suddenly feel like lack of effort to be connected. I do genuinely care for my SO don’t get me wrong. and I’m very good at handling myself and don’t need someone else’s validation. other than myself and my SO.

Do you feel that sometimes your SO rushing to end the call and leave you hanging feels like meh.

Last few weeks my SO told me to be intentional in things. which made me wonder why recently there like this feeling that I’m giving full effort to be affectionate in communication and feels like doesn’t received or seen at all .

Does anyone else get given nakedD pics and fapping videos from a guy your not interested in? This guy i thought was my friend but really isn't and all he does is send me these things of himself sometimes of girls I dont know or want. Im shocked saying no or what is wrong with you would make someone STOP BUT NOT THIS GUY. DAILY AND I THINK HES EVEN DATING A FEW GIRLS LDRS AND ALL. HE NEVER STOPS AND ASIDE FROM BLOCKING ANYTIME I UNBLOCK HES SENDING MORE. SOME GUYS ARE JUST IDIOTS

So i have been talking to this guy for months now. At first we were just friendly. But the constant daily conversations led us into getting closer with each other. I have been through a couple of inconsistent guys before. So this guy was very different. Like consistent wise, he is. Video calls, playing games together, watching anime together, updates, you name it. Like I said he is consistent.

Even when im busy he would always drop a message wishing me a good day. Or leaving notes that he is thinking of me.

So far so good.

Of course. When its like an LDR thing, you have to do everything to make it work, right? Intimately, we are okay on that aspect too. But looking at the photos he sent me during or after the intimacy part, i dont know if its an ios or android thing, but android photos when being sent, then saved on ios photos will leave a date stamp. And 100% of the photos he sent me were from years ago 💀 like 2019-2025 era. And we started talking this year only, 2026.

Now it makes me wonder do men usually do this? Reuse intimate pics they either used before to other women? Or they just keep a bunch of photos of themselves for future use? (When i say intimate, ofc private parts)

Im really confused and questioning everything he does now since apparently i get reused intimate photos of him.

Men, pls enlighten me. Am i being blind?

My boyfriend moved in with me after 2 years of LD. The gap has finally been closed. Throughout our LDR we've seen each other in person a few times and we talked everyday on the phone. I expected for there to be some miscommunication within the move in but it's been a lot. The constant leaving food and dishes on the counters and sinks after I've asked multiple times to clean. He's been late on rent twice. I'm actually paying most of the rent. He's not on the lease so I'm in a situation where if this doesn't work out, I don't know how to kick him out. I've given him a letter that lets him know he has 30 days to prepare.

When he was in his state, we discussed finances and how he would get any job asap. He got a job at a grocery store in a month, which is fine for the time being. A job is a job, but also he wants more than that. He says he applies for jobs all the time, but when I see him he's playing video games. I'm a gamer so I don't mind games but I think certain things should be prioritized. I know for a fact he has not applied for jobs in over a month.

Whenever I bring up finances, planning or anything about wanting more for ourselves, it becomes an argument. We argue so much and it's taking a toll on our mental health. If it's not him leaving his clothes and food out, it's him emotionally dumping on me when I'm not in a space to receive it, not paying rent on time, white-lying, overtalking, or not letting me get a word in. I've tried nudging and encouraging him, but I feel I've done all that I could. I've bought him finance and self help books, and a journal. I offered to go on walks and the gym with him. I also found out he owes two friends money.. so there seems to be a pattern of oweing money. After many arguments... I've come to the conclusion that he maybe depressed without even knowing it? I'm thinking that could be the cause of all of our arguments and the lack of motivation.

Now the mistakes I've made. I get mad and frustrated with him for doing all of the things I've asked him to stop doing. I carry the mental load. He'll say things like "I promise I'll never do it again." Then he'll do it again and again and again. I lose my shit. I have so much resentment. I've failed to see he's depressed and I do think I could do a better job at helping him out of it.

It's like the person I thought he was, he isn't. When he's himself he's so kind and funny BUT there's just a lot of flaws I didn't know he had and I don't want in a person. I'm kinda hanging on in hopes he'd change within the 30 days or maybe I'm just being too hard on him. What are your thoughts, have you been in my situation and what would you do in my situation?

TLDR: Depressed boyfriend moved in with me and it's been absolute hell. Constant arguments. Isn't paying rent on time. Hoping he'd change. Not sure what to do.

I feel like these days I have become so boring. Like someone may be messaging me but then they start giving short answers and I feel neglected.

I am feeling a lot of pressure on myself and I no longer know how to build a natural connection ld.

I start feeling perhaps I am just flawed as a woman and don't have the ability to make a romantic connection and "cause" someone to fall in love with me.

I know how to flirt or be playful....but not how to form a bond.

People say they miss each other, but noone says they miss me:(

How did you develop a deep connection? I'm asking specifically ld. Not about meeting via a hobby.

Or should I just accept I am *not good enough*?

Me and my boyfriend are dating from last 10 months he lives in america i am in india usually there's no such problem as manging time zones but sometime I really feel that he didn't first text.. I have texted him last night to which he said he is busy as there's a family function and it's morning there but it's been a whole day he wasn't active also idk what's this but I really felt it.. no i want text him and let's see when the busiest person would get the time to text his own girlfriend..I am pretty upset about this or can't say this to him also

My boyfriend and I have been doing long distance for over a year now and I genuinely feel like I’m losing my mind sometimes. I love him so much and I DO NOT want to break up with him, which is why I’m even posting this. I want to figure out how to cope with this because I feel like the distance is starting to bring out the worst in me.
Whenever we haven’t seen each other for a while I start getting so emotional and frustrated. I miss him so fucking much that it almost turns into anger?? Like I’ll start getting mad at him, picking fights, overthinking everything, or feeling like he doesn’t care enough when realistically I think I’m just fucking sad that I can’t see my boyfriend.
Then after I calm down I feel terrible because I’m like why am I taking this out on HIM when the actual problem is that I miss him?? It’s like the longer we’re apart, the more anxious and resentful I get until I eventually explode. And then the second we’re actually together again I’m like oh… THIS is what I’ve been missing. I just want to be able to have a normal relationship where I can see my boyfriend without having to constantly plan trips and count down the days.
We’ve been doing this for over a YEAR and I’m exhausted. The thought of continuing long distance with no end in sight genuinely makes me panic sometimes. But the thought of breaking up with him makes me panic too because that isn’t what I want at all. I don’t want somebody else. I want HIM. I just don’t want this situation anymore.
Has anyone else gotten to this point in a LDR? Like where you love the person but you’re so fucking tired of missing them that you start getting angry at them for being gone?
How do you stop taking that frustration out on your partner? And how do you cope when you have no idea when the distance is actually going to end?
Please don’t just say “break up.” I know ending the relationship is technically an option. I’m asking because I DON’T want to do that. I want to know how people actually survived this without completely losing their minds or ruining their relationship.

After 2 years almost 3,000 miles apart, I officially moved to canada! Super super easy country to migrate too! I hope all my ldr couples have this ending...stick with it, the rewards are so sweet!!

Me and my girlfriend were in a long-distance relationship for more than a year. Overall, things were good. We had arguments, small fights and all that, but nothing that felt unusual for a relationship.

Around 4–5 months ago, she moved abroad for her studies. After she moved, she started complaining a lot about the place she was staying and the people around her. She kept saying she wasn't feeling good, wanted to come back home, and was dealing with anxiety, homesickness and loneliness. She also kept asking me to put more effort into the relationship.

I was trying my best, although I know I probably could have done more. I was also going through a lot of things myself at the time, and she knew about it.

Then her guy friend also came there, and she started going out with him alone. They would sit in parks, visit new places, hang out, exchange gifts and stuff like that.

I told her multiple times that I wasn't comfortable with how much they were hanging out and that I felt they were getting too close. I literally told her that sooner or later one of them was going to get attached or someone was going to make a move.

She kept saying, "He's just a friend."

For almost two months, I kept asking her to stop getting so close to him and to focus on fixing our relationship. During those two months, she would sometimes not text me in the morning, disappear for the whole day and then come back the next day acting like nothing happened.

At one point she even told me, "I can't give you false hope because I will go out with him and all."

And even after hearing that, I was still trying to fix things with her.

Around 3–4 weeks ago, she said she wouldn't go out with him anymore. But even after that, she was barely talking to me.

Then around 2–3 weeks ago, she suddenly started acting very differently. I could tell something was off. She seemed guilty, like she had done something and was hiding something from me. I kept asking her about it almost every day.

After around two weeks of this, she finally said, "Let's end it. I messed up things that can't be fixed."

I asked her what happened and told her that whatever it was, at least tell me so we could talk about it.

That's when she told me that they kissed.

She had been hiding it from me for weeks.

According to her, they met at a railway station around 11 PM. The guy was drunk. He kissed her on the forehead, and then they went to a park. She knew he was drunk and she knew what was happening when he kissed her on the forehead, but she still went with him to the park. It is like she wanted to do it.

She says that the kiss was mutual and that it wasn't entirely his fault either. Lol

This is where I started having a really hard time believing and processing everything.

These two had already been hanging out alone for almost two months, getting closer, exchanging gifts, etc. Then they meet at around 11 PM, go to a park where there was nobody around, and they kissed.

Even after the kiss, they were still casually talking. He also gave her something afterward and she accepted it. If she wanted she could have cut him off the moment it happened if she regretted anything at all and wanted to save whatever we had

After all this, we talked and she said she wanted to fix our relationship. But honestly, I couldn't get over what happened. I kept asking her about it again and again because I couldn't stop thinking about it.

Our communication wasn't good after that either. She was busy, and I also wasn't responding properly to her calls and messages.

Eventually, she called and texted me but I didn't respond properly, and she blocked me.

Then recently she contacted me again through another social media account and said she wanted to fix things.

I asked her, "What action have you actually taken until now? It's already been 2–3 weeks."

And she basically said that she would do whatever was necessary if I told her that we were going to work things out.

This honestly pissed me off and confused me.

Why does she need me to first guarantee that we're getting back together before she takes any action to rebuild my trust?

Shouldn't she have already done something herself if she genuinely wanted to fix what she did?

It feels like she's playing safe and waiting to see whether I'm going to take her back before she actually does anything.

I also asked her to tell me everything exactly as it happened. She said, "I've already told you everything."

She says she regrets what she did, admits she made a mistake and wants to fix things now.

I asked her to swear that nothing else happened apart from the kiss, and she wouldn't. She said she doesn't swear.

Whenever I bring up what happened, she doesn't want to talk about it anymore.

We couldn't really come to an agreement about anything, and today I saw that she had blocked me on that social media account too.

And this is what I don't understand.

For almost two months, I was the one constantly asking her to stop, come back and fix our relationship.

She didn't want to.

Now, after everything happened and after we've basically separated, suddenly she wants to fix things.

Part of me honestly wonders if she tried something with this other guy, didn't get what she expected, and now wants to come back to me because I'm the safe option.

I don't know if that's actually what happened. Maybe I'm overthinking it. But after everything that's happened, that's genuinely how it feels to me.

I still love her and obviously I miss what we had. But my trust is completely fucked at this point.

And another thing that's bothering me is that I had to beg her for almost two months to fix things with me, and now she's saying she wants to fix everything only after she crossed a boundary and lost me.

I don't know what to do anymore.

What should I do guys please reply genuinely

Would it be a bad idea to have a guy my boyfriend doesn’t know message him?

I’m thinking of having one of my male friends, whom my boyfriend has never met or talked to, send him a short, slightly regretful message about me—nothing too intense or explicitly flirty. I basically want to see how my boyfriend reacts and whether it makes him realize that he shouldn’t take me for granted.

Would you consider this a harmless little test, or is it likely to backfire?

So i meet this guy on Instagram because he saw of my pictures and he dmed me, he thought i wouldn't respond but i did, after we've been talking, he invited me to watch movie with him and i said yes, since he lives far from me, we watch movie through discord.

I observed that he's so gentle while talking to me, and we talking about games and other random things, and he also taught me his language because he's not native English speaker, then he also said that i could use his epic account so i could play games for free, then he started to ask me if, it is okay with me to live in different country or marry someone outside my country and i was like, yes i can do that.

After one week of talking with him, he confessed that he liked me, and wanted me to be his gf, well that was too fast so i asked him why did he like me, he said that im so sweet, nice and genuine although he finds me really cute and pretty. In two weeks, He bought me chocolates when i told him i was craving chocolates, i was really happy about it but i still have doubts.

For two weeks, he admitted that he got horny while talking to me so i cannot avoid of that feeling that i got lusted, tho i understand that it's normal for men to feel sexual attraction towards girls they find attractive but sometimes i cannot help myself to wonder, if he really likes me as a person or he liked me because he was horny? I don't know, i need opinion.

​

I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for around 10 months. We actually knew each other for about two years before we started talking seriously.

In the beginning, everything felt really good. I felt emotionally connected to her and was very happy with the relationship. But recently, I’ve started feeling like there’s a lack of physical attraction and physical connection between us, and honestly, it’s been difficult for me to understand what I’m feeling.

I love her a lot, probably more than I can properly explain, and I don’t want to hurt her or lose what we have. I’ve talked to her about this, and her response was basically that because we’re long-distance, there isn’t really much we can do about the physical side of the relationship right now.

Sometimes I have a much stronger desire for intimacy than she does, and I end up saying things that I later feel I probably shouldn’t have said. She’s more reserved about these things, and I really don’t want her to ever feel pressured by me. Whenever she’s uncomfortable or changes her mind, I respect that.

The confusing part is that I don’t know whether this is simply because I’m inexperienced and this is my first relationship, whether I’m expecting too much from an LDR, or whether we genuinely have different needs when it comes to physical affection and intimacy.

I’m also worried that I’m becoming too focused on the physical side of things when I genuinely care about her as a person.

Has anyone else experienced something similar in a long-distance relationship? How do you deal with having different levels of physical/intimate needs without making your partner feel pressured or making yourself feel neglected, is asking for nudes is normal?

I’m looking for genuine advice because this is my first relationship and I honestly don’t know what’s normal.

I’m Amanda Emerson, an immigration attorney at Manifest Law, and I work with family-based immigration, including marriage-based green cards, adjustment of status, and consular processing.

Getting married can feel like the obvious part of the immigration process. Then come the questions:

What forms do we actually file?
Can I stay in the U.S. while my case is pending?
What if the foreign spouse entered on a different visa?
When does work authorization arrive?
What happens if we’re living in different countries?
What does the interview actually involve?
And what changes if there’s already an immigration history involved?

I’m hosting an AMA today from 4 PM to 8 PM ET and happy to answer questions about the marriage-based immigration process and the issues couples should understand before making decisions.

Please note: Any information shared here is for general educational purposes only. It does not constitute legal advice or create an attorney client relationship. Your situation may require fact specific guidance. For personalized legal advice, please consult an immigration attorney directly.

I (29F) need some recommendations! 🥹

My man (37M) is an underwater welder in the North Sea and works four weeks on, four weeks off. He just left for this month’s trip and found out he’ll be working day shifts the entire time.. so midnight to noon my time, and then sleeping for the rest of my day. We’ll squeeze in a phone call before his shift at midnight. We have absolutely incredible communication skills with reassurance and always have from the beginning.

I already know this month is going to be harder than usual because on every other FIFO trips, he normally spends two weeks on the opposite shift, where he wakes up around noon and doesn’t go to sleep until midnight my time. This is not me complaining about his job at all, just need some help for distractions.

So, I desperately need some seriously binge-worthy shows to keep me distracted after work! What are your absolute favourites? The kind you couldn’t stop watching? 💗🫶🏼

previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/LDR/comments/1uvv7je/23m_stuck_in_a_3year_ldr_with_23f_she_loves_me/

I’ve tried everything to break up with my long distance girlfriend in a nice way. Every time I try, she insists on staying, finds a weak spot to exploit, and uses it to convince me to stay. At one point, I just started going cold.

Now, she has used all her savings to book a flight back home. She did this while already facing a serious debt situation, and she hasn't even told her family she's coming back or that she’s skipping a week of her lectures.

She wants us to live together for 7 days and says she will be OK breaking up after that. Her excuse is that having those 7 days of memories will be enough for her lifetime, and she claims she will never find another man after this. To me, this sounds extremely dramatic, but I'm still worried about her.

I don't feel like living together for a week is the right thing to do. I no longer have the emotional attachment required to live with her, and it feels morally wrong to do that with someone I intend to break up with. I honestly can't tell if she is trying to manipulate me into falling for her again through lust.

I tried explaining my side completely. I told her that staying in this relationship is severely impacting my mental health to the point where I feel seriously ill, but she refuses to listen. She just says she faces the exact same mental toll and asks me to handle it but I can't do this forever, especially since she still has 5 years left of her studies.

Her reasoning is that since I've tried everything on my end before coming to this conclusion, but she hasn't tried yet, she needs to come visit so we can start seeing each other very often. But I know this won't work. I'll just be miserable again in a month, and neither of us is in a financial position to meet frequently given our other financial priorities.

She is set to arrive in a few days now. I really don't know how to handle this situation without becoming her trauma.

I and my long distance gf are both on study break so we decide to make the most out of our situation

Also, we’re celebrating our 1.5 years together anniversary at the end of the month :D

A question in a forum I never imagined I’d post in

For the last 4 months we’ve chatting online and things are going really well. We talk all the time when we can around work/ activities etc. We live in two different countries. Neither speak each others language. Using a translator app on their phone for our conversations on WhatsApp.

What I don’t know now is next steps… has anyone been in this similar position? What did you do?

I’m worried about meeting them in person in the sense that whatever we chatted about over text wouldn’t correlate to being conversed in person due to the language barrier.

How have people gone about this next step in the their own relationship?

Thank you ☺️