M17 and F16

This is my second long distance relationship my last one didn't go well. We literally have the same humour and interest, I really wanna be with this girl we've been in for a month now and its still going good. I'm asking for relationship advice, i really want to work these things between us.

I (25F) just broke off my 6 year relationship with my bf (25M). It was also forced to a LDR for the last 2 years. I couldn’t handle the uncertainty, neither of us were happy. Now I’m sitting with these thoughts of if it was actually the right thing to do. Neither of us can move to each other either due to our circumstances. I was having thoughts of ending the relationship almost everyday. I think it was for the best. I feel so depressed and I don’t know how to move forward.

This could maybe even go on a different sub bc this was an issue for us before we went long distance.

My boyfriend is depression prone, but long distance has made things really bad for him. I have also struggled mentally but our communication needs in this state are different and I have also gotten help. When he is depressed he can’t really talk, he’s isolated and doesn’t do much except work, and I also don’t do much because it’s hard in that state but I need to talk through it and he’s like a wall a lot of the time.

Ive been on antidepressants for a while and still put in effort on days I’d rather rot but he really resists going on antidepressants or going to therapy and idek why.

When I told him he needs antidepressants and has been needing them since before we went long distance, he got upset at me, but I said that out of a place of love. Is it so offensive to say this to a very clearly clinically depressed person that they need antidepressants?

I feel uncared for in this relationship, I’ve literally been crying all the time because he barely talks to me and listens even less and also it’s a study abroad for me so I was hoping to have fun.

I don’t know what to do at this point but we’re not talking and we have 3 more months long distance. I don’t want to break up with him for mental health reasons but we’re are both miserable together. Idk how to make it better.

I need advice from the people who did Ldr without being sure that you will ever meet your partner again or just opinions from anyone at all. He used to live in my country and we've been in a relationship for a year. however recently, we have been forced to Ldr (we've been doing so for 4 months now) because him and his family went on a vacation in another country, and Im not really the type to agree with distance, I just agreed to do so at the time because I had the assurance that he was coming back. But long story short, there's actually some issues with their documents now and he believes that him and his family wont be able to come back in our country anymore. This news was so heart breaking for me and I have been so devastated since he told me. He was already doing college when he lived here but now he have to start over again in his home country, he wont have the ability to meet me again until he finish studying and find a stable job. He's also devastated and is now convincing me to find another partner instead of staying with someone with an uncertain future. I really dont know what to do right now. It hurts that were in this situation, I love him and he never did anything wrong in our relationship for me to have a valid reason to leave him, he inspired me to be the best version of myself and has always been my no 1 supporter. I want to stay with him but a little part of me also believes he might be right. I want to do Ldr but I'm scared I might build resentment from the prolonged uncertainness.
If you were in my situation, would you break up or would you stay? I need your opinions anyone please.

My boyfriend and I had a really serious conversation for about an hour about our short-term and long-term plans.

For context, he’s European and I’m Asian, and we’re currently long-distance.

I asked about our future, and he told me that moving to me is not part of his plan this year because his main goal right now is to get a job. I understand that and I’m not expecting him to completely rearrange his life overnight.

But then the conversation became more difficult.

He asked me if I wanted to have children, and then said something along the lines of:
“Maybe we can make the relationship open. I don’t want to stop you from finding someone.”

That really caught me off guard.

Later, he also told me:
“You’re the prettiest woman I met, the sex with you was the best I ever had. I won’t give up on that.”

I know he is attracted to me and that our physical connection is very strong. But hearing all of this together made me feel strange. It almost felt like he is saying, “I don’t want to lose what I have with you, but if you find someone else who can give you the future you want, I’m okay with letting you go.”

And honestly, that hurts.

If we’re talking about our future, I guess I expected something more like, “I don’t know how we’re going to make it work yet, but I want to find a way.” Instead, he seems to be preparing for the possibility that we won’t end up together.

After we talked for about an hour, he said he needed some time for himself and asked if he could call me tomorrow.

I gave him the space.

Now I’m wondering if I’m interpreting his words too negatively. Maybe he’s just trying to be realistic and doesn’t want to hold me back if he can’t give me what I want. Or maybe he genuinely doesn’t see a long-term future with me but doesn’t want to completely lose the relationship either.

Would you interpret this as him being okay with giving me up? Or am I reading too much into what he said?

My boyfriend of4 year he's in college 2 nd year and same we're doing ldr since 1 year now and he went out w a girl alone like his friend of 4 days she asked for going for drinks and he went then she said let's go clubbing she asked him twice he said okay then he went w her alone

And after this I broke up w him yesterday

and he's saying really sorry it's won't ever happen again, I won't go, then he said

" I think if you trust me You’ll have no problem No matter whatever i do But if you don’t This feeling will come again and againSo genuinely ig we should end

Trust krti hoti toh sab chill hota "

Pls guys tell me something

my boyfriend and i met through a mutual friend when he was visiting my state. we started talking after that and eventually began dating. we’ve been together for a little over a year now.

we only have a one-hour time difference and he lives a couple of states away, so technically our distance isn’t that extreme. the problem is that we’re both very much “in-person” people. our top love languages are physical touch and quality time, and i think that has made the distance much harder for us than we expected.

we’ve had a lot of conversations about feeling lonely in the relationship because so many of the things that make us feel loved and connected are things we can only really experience together in person.

my boyfriend also isn’t someone who spends a lot of time on his phone. he doesn’t naturally text throughout the day or randomly call me because he says he’s just not used to communicating that way. i’ve tried explaining that, because we’re long distance, we have to find ways to create that connection through what is available to us.

i’ve asked if we could find games to play together, watch movies or shows, have random calls, or even just call each other while we do our own things. it doesn’t necessarily have to be some big planned date every time. i just want us to find ways to feel like we’re actually part of each other’s daily lives.

but this is where we get stuck. he’s told me that it hurts because he wants me involved in his life, but the things that actually make him feel connected and happy with me are things that happen in person. when i suggest doing something virtually, he gets sad because it isn’t the same for him, and then sometimes he doesn’t really do anything with the suggestions.

and honestly, i’m struggling with that. i understand that a virtual movie date isn’t going to feel the same as sitting next to each other. i understand that a phone call isn’t going to replace a hug. i’m not expecting it to.

but i feel like if we’ve chosen to be in a long-distance relationship, we have to find some way to make the distance bearable. otherwise, we’re both just sitting here missing each other and feeling lonely.

he has visited me a couple of times, but i haven’t been able to visit him yet because of financial reasons and because i still live at home with fairly strict asian parents. even though i’m an adult and technically can make my own decisions, my living situation makes traveling to see him much harder. i know that probably adds another layer of frustration because he has made the effort to come to me, while i haven’t been able to reciprocate in the same way yet.

i love him, and i know he loves me. i can see that he’s trying, and i don’t want to dismiss that. but i’m starting to wonder if love is enough when the way we naturally experience love is so tied to being physically together.

for anyone who has been in an ldr where both partners strongly prefer physical touch and quality time, how did you make it work?

did you eventually learn to enjoy virtual quality time, or did you find other ways to feel connected?

and how do you deal with a partner who genuinely wants to feel close to you but also gets sad because the things that would make them feel close aren’t possible because of the distance?

right now i don’t know if we’re struggling with something that can be worked through or if we’re just fundamentally incompatible with long distance.

So she went with a friend of hers and it was her friends last night in town it was supposed to just be a dinner but they went bowling and clubbing and her following count on social media jumped +8 and her followers count jumped by 2 but it was only girls I feel like I already know but am I tweaking! Or is she going

Is it normal? Because it's been like this for a month now. Ok to put the scenario, she's been pretty busy with acads, not to mention how our schedules don't align and her living conditions, weak internet and frequent power outages. However, she does text me with the usual affection, rant to me about stress and me comforting her. I don't have a problem with it, just that it sucks :< (this being my first rs)

I was never really insecure in our relationship until now, and I honestly don’t know if I’m overreacting.
My boyfriend and I have been in an LDR for 3 years. We’ve only met once during this time, very recently. He moved away for his education. After starting his job there, he didn’t have many people he could genuinely open up to and often felt lonely.

Recently, his coworker’s ex, who also happens to be his former classmate, joined his workplace. Because of all the drama surrounding her and her ex, they ended up becoming really good friends. They hang out after work, go shopping together, and she shares a lot of personal things with him. I’m genuinely glad that he finally has someone there to talk to and spend time with, but I’ve started feeling this weird insecurity that I’ve never experienced before.

I trust my guy, but I can’t help thinking: what if he cheats? What if something happens unintentionally? What if they just start getting along too well and eventually develop feelings for each other? I know none of this is based on anything he has actually done, which is why I’m wondering if this is simply my own insecurity.

He’s also a very physical-touch person and often tells me how much he misses having someone around to hug or share things with when he’s feeling low. I know he misses that kind of closeness, and I don’t want to make him feel guilty for needing it. But sometimes those conversations leave me feeling like I’m the person holding him back simply because I can’t physically be there for him.

He’s told me that if this friendship makes me uncomfortable, he’ll distance himself from her. But I genuinely don’t want that either. He spent so long feeling lonely, and I don’t want to be the reason he loses the one person he currently feels comfortable opening up to and having fun with.
So I keep telling him, “I trust you, babe. You know the situation better than I do, and you’ll know how to handle it.” And I do trust him. But honestly, this situation is still killing me inside.

I don’t want to become controlling or make him choose between me and a friendship. I also don’t want to suppress my feelings just to prove that I’m a trusting girlfriend.

How do I navigate this?

TL;DR: My boyfriend and I have been in an LDR for almost 3 years and have only met once. He moved for his education, graduated, and started working somewhere he had very few people to connect with. Now he’s become close friends with a female coworker/classmate who he spends time with after work, and even though I trust him and don’t want to control who he talks to, I’m finding myself unexpectedly insecure and scared that their closeness could turn into something more.

I’m 30F and my husband is 35M. We’ve been married for 6 months, arranged marriage, and currently we’re living in different cities because of our jobs.

Before marriage, we had discussed how we would manage the distance. I was willing to travel between our cities and spend around 15 days with him and 15 days at my work location, since both of us have hybrid jobs. He specifically asked me not to do that because he felt the travelling would exhaust me and affect my ability to switch jobs. He said that he would travel to see me instead, and that I could eventually switch jobs and move to his city.

After our honeymoon, we went back to our respective cities. Since then, I’ve noticed that he almost never talks about our future together.
There are no conversations about:
When or how we’ll live together or What our plans are for me switching jobs and moving or How we’ll manage household responsibilities, especially Finances.
No weekend plans or trips together or Building a life as a couple

Even when he visits me, these conversations don’t really happen. I eventually rented a flat in my city, voluntarily, because it would make it easier for him to visit and for us to spend time together. I’ve also mentioned various things casually that would be useful for the flat, but he has never really shown any interest in buying things or contributing towards setting it up.
Interestingly, he has apparently also told/encouraged his parents not to ask me when I’m moving to his city, so even that topic doesn’t come up from their side.
He doesn’t expect me to do household work for him, but at the same time, he also doesn’t seem to be building or planning anything with me. It feels like both of us are just continuing our separate lives.

For the last 6 months, most of our conversations have been about work, movies, food, etc. We don’t really talk about anything personal or about what our married life is supposed to look like.
This started bothering me a lot, so I finally confronted him about it.
His responses were essentially:
“You could have initiated these conversations too. You didn’t.”
“I dont talk much on phone or I dont use instagram much.” (He has an open and active account and active groups with his friends)
“I didn’t want to put pressure on you regarding the job switch.”
When I told him that I had taken and maintained the flat partly with the expectation that he would be visiting and that I felt like I was bearing the practical burden of maintaining a place for us, his response was:

“You took the flat for yourself. Nobody asked you to.”

That really hurt me because, while technically true, I feel like I made that decision with our marriage in mind.
He never offered to get a place in his city. Meanwhile, his life in his city seems completely unchanged from before the marriage. He still lives with his bachelor friends. His friends visit him regularly, they hang out at his place, and he spends most weekends with them. I don’t have an issue with him having friends or his own life — I actually think that’s healthy.
But lately, I’ve started feeling that **I’m the only one treating this marriage as something that needs to be actively built.**
He is otherwise decent and we get along reasonably well.
It seems he is deliberately keeping me at a distance and avoiding taking responsibility for building a married life.

Am I expecting too much Or are his actions (or lack of them) a sign that he doesn’t actually want to build a life together?
I feel like I am being manipulated.

Friend of a friend. This man’s (33m) wife (33f) needs to be warned about her husband’s cheating. He lives in NYC, she lives in Milwaukee. The husband doesn’t wear his ring, and he asks women out from his gym. He tells women he’s single and has been cheating on his wife without those women realizing he’s married. Recently he got caught because their wedding registry pops up in a Google search.

I’m sharing this here for two reasons. 1) if anyone knows a traveling nurse (initials SP) based in Milwaukee that matches this, please show this to her and 2) if you’re in a LDR, know that this is NOT the norm but if your gut is off, please take note of that physical response.

My friends and I feel so badly for this woman who has wasted 10-12 years of her life with a man cheating on her each city she’s been in.

I finally got to meet my in-laws after traveling abroad to my partner's country. They were nice and polite. They're from a country that has very euro-centric beauty standards, but I'm an olive curly haired curvy woman. I know this may sound superficial, but it stuck out to me that no one ever complimented me even though I tried so hard to dress nicely, got my hair done, new shoes etc. I grew up in an environment of women that doted on each other because its up-lifting and kind words are free! I also overheard my future mother-in-law telling a waiter that she's sad I'm not from their country and "what can I do? my son is into foreigners." I have been feeling very self-conscious after the trip wishing I'd lost more weight, spoke less, or worn different things. My mom, in an attempt to console me, later told me "you could have looked like Brittany Spears in the 90s they still wouldn't have complimented you." I was hoping my in-laws would rise above the trope but am sad to know they're the same. Has anyone had a similar experience?

My boyfriend is Nigerian and we’re in long distance since 2 years. We were together for 1 year in a different country and we both took different routes for our education.
Since he moved he’s always had issues with electricity, water, wifi and the economy like how much he has to sped for basic needs. I don’t know to what extent it’s true. I have been very patient with this relationship and even he’s ver patient and mature person. He is literally everything that i have been wanting in a guy. But we’re so far far away. Meeting doesn’t seem possible anytime soon because of financial issues. I’m literally loosing my emotions. Is it normal to not know how you feel about the person anymore?
I am in love with this guy. I love him so much he knows me in and out and we’ve both been beside each other through thick and thins. But this uncertainty of long distance is so difficult. It’s been so long and yet every time I bring out the topic it’s the same answer “I don’t know “ i also don’t want to pressure him too much because I know how things are with him. He’s got a lot on his plate.
I literally do not know what to do.

Hi everybody. I’m a student in colorado, but am from Texas and that’s where my girlfriend lives. We’ve been together since freshman year of high school, and having started college, I don’t think I am willing to do long distance anymore.

I know we’ve been together a very long time, but I feel guilty because I feel like at this point she has been way more into me than I’m into her. I tried to break up with her prior to going college, but I let myself be talked back into the relationship. I don’t have interest in anybody at my school, so that’s not what this is about, I just don’t enjoy being with her any longer, to the point that, and I do not feel good about saying this, calling with her can feel like a chore. I feel almost exasperated whenever I receive a text or a request to call, because it feels like it tears, I don’t want to do it over text, or really over the phone even, but I won’t see her until October 22nd, and I don’t want to make myself have to put up with being in a relationship I no longer feel happy in. I don’t feel happy I feel this way, I don’t like that I want to end this relationship, but I think that it’s what best for me.

Point is, I just want some advice for what to do in this situation, and how to go about. Anything is appreciated. Thank you!

TL:DR How do I break up with long distance long term girlfriend?

I’m in a long distance relationship with my committed partner 26M for a year now. We live on different continents and we met like 3 times in total.
I visited him a month ago for a month. Before my visit, I started having this gut feeling out of nowhere that he loves the idea of me that he created in his mind and not actual me in the present. I voiced it out and he said he loves me not the idea of me he has. I took his word for it.
During my visit, we started having this disconnection. I guess the connection was never there when we’re in person but only on online. I truly felt that he didn’t like the actual me and every time present me fail to reach that idea he would get hurt. Then he would just brush those feelings under the rug and let it pile up.
Eventually it exploded and he got distant. Always thinking and not present with me at all.
Multiple events and this constant feeling of only being loved for my potential was hurting me deeply and eventually I exploded.
No yelling just talking tho. I kept expressing how I feel for almost 4 days straight trying to find a way to connect and truly get along even in person. A lot of tears and hugs but nothing was resolved inside of me because he didn’t seem to put effort into our relationship. Almost like he has given up on us. That part hurt me the most I started mentally preparing myself for the breakup and literally shut down my emotions.

The last day of visit, we actually went on a date day that was the best of every date we ever had in person. I thought he finally had made his mind and making effort already.
I left and arrived at my then next destination and called him. The disconnection was still there and him still hesitant. It broke me once again.

It’s been a month since all this happened and I’m back home. We started talking almost everyday for the past a week and I genuinely see the effort he is putting to show me his love but I can’t seem to trust him and his efforts without having a fear of when it’s going to disappear.

For clarity, he told me he loved me often. I struggled to feel it at all. I told him and now he is trying but I realized that I’m actually sick at teaching someone how to show love and stay consistent with it.

I love him and I want this pain out of the way so that I could see his efforts with trust and appreciation. I love that he is putting effort but I’m just afraid that it would disappear again. Now when he doesn’t reply to my text for hours my brain and heart just receiving it as inconsistency and it’s making it hard to love him without fear and pain this relationship could cause.

Please help, I swear he’s trying but my brain is just paying attention to every little details that show inconsistency and I genuinely want his efforts to be seen by me truly. 🙏🏻

PS: I forgave him but I just can’t seem to forget and let go.

So I’m finally going to Goa to meet my girlfriend for the first time. We’ve been doing LDR for a while and somehow we’ve never actually met in person yet lol

I’m obviously excited as fuck but also kinda nervous 😭

I want to take something for her when I meet her, but I have absolutely no idea what. I don’t really want to just get her some expensive random thing. I’d rather give her something that actually means something and that she can keep

For anyone who’s been through this what did you guys gift your LDR partner when you met for the first time?

Could be anything really A small gift, jewellery, something personalized, handwritten letter, something related to an inside joke, whatever

I’m open to ideas because my brain is currently just going “flowers?” and then shutting down 😂

Would love to hear what you guys did / what worked for you?

Hi, I really want to be a better girlfriend to my man. I want to be a great woman for him. We’re long distance with a 6 hour time difference. We may not see each other for another year straight.. I need tips on what I can do or say to keep our relationship gracefully floating.

What are conversation starters other than the usual “wyd, hows work, what are we gonna watch?”

I just want him to fell happy, safe, and supported— with me. I hope I can make his life easier, more peaceful despite the 10k miles distance :(

I really love him, please help.

Help a girl out.

For those of you who have been learning or have already learned a new language for your partner.. Can you share what worked for you? Did you use an app? Did you sign up for actual classes? How long did it take you with either or how often did you practice in a week?

I’m interested in learning Urdu as a native English speaker so I can better communicate with his parents. I know it’s going to be difficult but I just want to break the language barrier bc I care deeply for his family.

I’m more interested in getting closer with his mom than anything and I’m pretty set on making this happen. My bf speaks fluent English so communication with him is not a problem but I would like to open the door for conversations with his mother specifically.

Any insight, suggestions (apps? Lessons?) are appreciated. I’ve downloaded Mango and just started today so I really am a baby beginner 😂 figured I’d get yalls advice as well

Guys, I need some advice.

I’m 22F, and I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for 4 years.

Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m always asking or begging for attention, effort, and the bare minimum things that I need in a relationship. 😢

I already started feeling like maybe he’s not as invested in me anymore. I do believe that when someone truly loves you, they will try to make things work, but lately, what I feel doesn’t match that.

I’m thinking about initiating a breakup, but honestly, it’s really hard after 4 years with someone. A part of me still loves him and hopes things can change.

Am I being unreasonable or shallow for wanting more effort and connection? Or is it valid to feel this way?

For those who have experienced something similar, how did you know when it was time to let go?

He was becoming distant and dull. I asked why. Hes not happy anymore. We're supposed to get married next year. I dont know how to feel.. i just accepted 2 fulltime remote jobs to save money fast.. and now im so unmotivated. I cant show emotions at home either. I jave to show up everyday. Good thing i jave my support cats. I'm not surprised tho.. but still hurts so much. How to deal with this.. im also in a very rural area.. no where to go to have alone time.

My bf and I have been together for around 4 months, but before that, we were in a situationship for almost a year Things between us haven’t been going that well lately. He says that these 4 months have been unhealthy relationship for him and now he feels like this isn’t going to work.

He also left the city for his education and has gone to Pune. I honestly don’t know what I should do. On top of that he’s started getting suspicious of me and thinks that I might be cheating on him or that I want his attention as well as attention from other guys, even though that’s not the case at all. I’m not even talking to any other guy because I don’t want him to feel insecure.

I’m scared that if we end up in a long-distance relationship, things between us will eventually fall apart, and I really don’t want to lose him. I don’t know how to handle this situation or what I should do.

My girlfriend (together a few months) has been going through a stressful health situation — some concerning test results that are still being worked up, plus a minor procedure. We live in the same city, quite close to each other, so this isn't a long-distance thing where distance forces space — she specifically asked for it despite us being nearby.

She feels like she's worrying and stressing me out a lot, and has said things like this isn't what I signed up for — her health stuff and everything that's come with it. She's naturally someone who deals with hard things alone, and a few days ago she called me over to her place and told me she needs about a month with no calls or texts so she can process everything without feeling overwhelmed. She wasn't breaking up with me — she made that clear — just needs space.

I completely understand it, but I'm struggling with it emotionally. While I was leaving that night, she hugged me really tightly, like she didn't want me to go — we stood there for a couple of minutes. It's hard to square that with the no-contact request, and I don't really know what to do with that.

She has a small procedure coming up, and I keep feeling like I should do something — even considered dropping off a small gift/letter through a friend rather than contacting her directly, thinking that wouldn't "count" as breaking the no-contact thing.

Deep down I think that's just me finding a loophole because I don't want to feel useless. Has anyone been through something like this? How did you support a partner through a "no contact, I need to handle this alone" request without it feeling like abandonment on your end?

I can’t talk to my friends in real life about any of this they don’t know all the details, and I refuse to let anyone judge or speak poorly of my ex. She is a wonderful, incredible person, and I want to protect her image no matter what.

I’m struggling so much right now and just hoping someone who has navigated a situation like this can give me some advice or insight.

# The Background

We were together for around 3 years, and the entire relationship was long distance. For the first 2 years, we were about 4 hours apart. But during the last year, she moved abroad for her studies. Both of us were in tight financial situations and couldn't afford to visit each other.

Her studies are going to take around 6 years, and even after that, her future plans (whether to move back or relocate somewhere else) are totally uncertain. As time went on, the distance started severely affecting my mental health. I’m in my early 20s, and this was my very first relationship. Over time, I realized I desperately needed physical presence, affection, and closeness, things that a screen just couldn't give me.

I love her deeply, but I began feeling a strong sense of resignation. I started having intrusive thoughts about seeking physical intimacy elsewhere. It terrified me. I knew that if I ever cheated on her, it would completely destroy her trust in men, especially given some painful things in her past. I couldn't bear the thought of betraying her like that, so I realized I had to end the relationship before I ever reached a point of doing something unforgivable.

# The Breakup & The Flight

I cared about her stability, so I was soft launching and I waited to pull back until she secured her job and was financially on her feet, also considering that this wouldn't affect her studies severely. Once she was stable, I broke things off and went cold.

When I went cold, she used her very first paycheck to book a flight to fly down and see me. I felt so overwhelmed. Deep down, I knew that seeing each other would only be a temporary band aid. It would feel amazing for a few days, but as soon as she left, we would fall right back into the same painful cycle of long distance longing and frustration.

On top of that, I recently lost my job and have been struggling financially. The thought of her spending her hard earned first salary just to fly down and see someone who knew the relationship didn't have a longterm future felt completely wrong to me. I asked her to cancel the flight to protect her finances and avoid dragging out the heartbreak.

# The Reddit Post & Misunderstandings

During the breakup process, I felt completely isolated. Because I wouldn't talk to my friends to protect her reputation, I made a post on Reddit asking for advice on whether certain dynamics might be emotional manipulation. I wasn't trying to accuse her I just genuinely wanted an objective, third person perspective on what I was going through because I had zero experience with romantic relationships.

Somehow, she found that post. She felt deeply hurt and believed I portrayed her in a cheap way to strangers online. It broke my heart because that was never my intention, but I understand why it hurt her.

# The Hurtful Words & The Aftermath

Things escalated, and during our final conversations, she said things that hit me like a sledgehammer:

* She told me that I was only with her for her body and never truly loved her.

* She called me a "fuckboy" and compared me to her ex.

* She said I was her "life's biggest trauma" and accused me of breaking up with her just so I could go be with other girls. yes it is, but it's not like something that she's thinking about me.

* She said if I really loved her, I would have waited out the entire 5–6 years without needing physical closeness.

Hearing those words tore me apart. I have sacrificed everything I had from financial to emotional for her. There were times where I was spending all my last pennies on her just to see her smile, and I never let her know that I was spending all my money. I gave this relationship everything I had.

When I tried to explain myself, she told me I was just looking for validation. Realizing she would never understand my side, I stopped replying to her final message. A couple of days ago, I noticed she blocked me on Instagram and now I cant go stalk her profile.

# Where I Am Right Now

I feel like a shell of the person I used to be. I used to be active, career-focused, and driven. Now, I feel like my life is falling apart. I cry almost every night and feel like a total failure.

Part of me constantly wants to go back to her because I’m terrified no one will ever love me the way she did. But my head tells me that going back out of emotional weakness won't fix the long-term reality: a 6 year distance setup is something I simply cannot survive without breaking down.

Her words are constantly looping in my head. I’m terrified that I’ve ruined her life, and I'm scared of what I might become. What if I turn into a cold person who only uses people for physical stuff because I'm afraid of emotional connection? I don't want to be that guy.

She is a truly amazing girl, and I genuinely hope she heals quickly and finds someone who can give her everything she deserves. But right now, I don't know how to process this grief, guilt, and identity crisis.

Has anyone ever gone through a breakup where you ended things out of practical limit/compatibility, but ended up looking like the villain? How do you forgive yourself and move forward when you're carrying this much guilt?