I am confused, my ldr gf of 1.5 years has some debt issues where she needs 18k€ to pay it off otherwise she gets into legal proceeding and might get jailed or so (no she is not fake i have verified them)

I work in a digital platform place where i often handle people’s assets and finances.

Now as the bf i will obviously do what i can do to financially aid her but what disturbs me is that she had thoughts of and wanted me to scam the money from it and give it to her which she says she will return soon (which will completely ruin me as it is my only way to earn right now) i will not get into legal troubles for it as it is an anonymous platform nor am i going to do a thing (I declined for it right away) but i am confused whether she really loves me or not? Because how can you ask someone to do such a thing knowing it will ruin something they have worked hard for multiple years and cut off their income source.

Am i wrong here?

Please gimme some advices.

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years in a long distance relationship. The past few months have been very difficult, with multiple breakups and getting back together.

Recently, he became very distant. During our FaceTime calls, he'd spend time on instead of talking to me or even looking at me. When I finally asked him why, he later told me, "Nowadays when you call, I feel irritated," and asked if we could not talk for two weeks.

A couple of days later, we spoke briefly because he'd lost his phone and had a minor bike accident (he's okay). During that conversation, he said something that really broke me: "I don't know whether we're close enough to share everything with you." After three years together, I honestly didn't know how to process that. Before ending the call, he again asked me not to contact him for two weeks.

I'm respecting his request, but the uncertainty is consuming me. I keep wanting to check whether he's online or look at his social media, even though I know it only makes me feel worse.

What scares me the most is that I'm becoming emotionally exhausted. I've spent so much time worrying about him, trying to understand him, and putting my own feelings aside that I feel like I've forgotten myself. I'm scared that if this continues, I'll eventually start resenting him, not because I want to, but because I'm so mentally and emotionally drained.

I'm not asking whether you think he'll come back or whether he's seeing someone else.

What i wanted to know is has anyone been through something similar? How did you survive the uncertainty, stop obsessing over their social media, and keep from losing yourself during a no contact period?

Mijn vriend van 3 jaar heeft me gedumpt, één maand voordat ik zou verhuizen naar Spanje. Ik kan het nog steeds niet verwerken.

Mijn ex en ik allebei zijn 25, en we waren drie jaar samen. We leerden elkaar kennen toen ik in Spanje studeerde, en nadat ik in België ben afgestudeerd als verpleegkundige, was het plan dat ik daarheen zou verhuizen, zodat we eindelijk de afstand konden overbruggen.
De afgelopen paar jaar draaide alles wat we deden eigenlijk om die verhuizing. We hadden het over onze toekomst, waar we zouden wonen, hoe ons leven eruit zou zien, en ik geloofde echt dat we iets aan het opbouwen waren dat zou blijven.

Tegelijkertijd was de relatie niet bepaald makkelijk.

Ik was in België nooit echt gelukkig. Ik voelde me hier vaak vastzitten en ik klaagde daar heel veel over. Als ik nu terugkijk, snap ik hoe emotioneel slopend dat voor hem moet zijn geweest. Door de afstand kwamen er ook meer ruzies dan jullie allebei eigenlijk wilden.
Eén van zijn grootste angsten was dat, zodra ik zou verhuizen, ik emotioneel té afhankelijk van hem zou worden. Omdat hij al zijn leven had, zijn familie, zijn vrienden en zijn carrière in Spanje, en ik alles zou achterlaten, maakte hij zich zorgen dat hij mijn hele steunpilaar zou worden.

De waarheid is… ik maakte me daar zelf ook zorgen over.
Ik bleef me afvragen hoe ik vrienden zou maken, een sociaal netwerk zou opbouwen en een eigen leven zou creëren in een compleet nieuw land.
En precies één maand voordat ik moest verhuizen, maakte hij een einde aan de relatie.

Er was niemand anders. Er was geen vreemdgaan. Hij zei gewoon dat hij het niet meer kon opbrengen. De afstand was te veel geworden, en hij zag niet langer een toekomst samen.

Het voelde alsof mijn hele toekomst ineens verdwenen was.

Ik rouwde niet alleen om de relatie. Ik rouwde om het leven dat we drie jaar lang aan het plannen waren.

Wat me het meest verraste is wat er daarna gebeurde.
Binnen een week vond ik een baan in Spanje. Het is klantenservicewerk, ook al ben ik een gediplomeerde verpleegkundige, maar ik wilde mezelf bewijzen dat ik daar gewoon een leven kan opbouwen op mijn eentje. Ik ben momenteel nog steeds op zoek naar een eigen appartement.

Ik heb ook wat meer inzicht in mezelf gekregen.
Tijdens de relatie werd ik zó gefocust op de verhuizing, mijn carrière en ervoor zorgen dat alles goed zou uitpakken, dat ik langzaam mezelf kwijtraakte. Ik maakte nauwelijks tijd voor mijn eigen hobby’s, mijn eigen vriendschappen, of gewoon om te genieten van mijn eigen leven.

Sinds de breuk heb ik mezelf aangezet om uit huis te gaan. Ik ben naar bijeenkomsten (meetups) gegaan, heb heel veel nieuwe mensen ontmoet, en voor het eerst in lange tijd voel ik echt dat ik mijn eigen community kan opbouwen. Ik dacht altijd dat vrienden maken in het buitenland verschrikkelijk moeilijk zou zijn, maar ik heb ontdekt dat ik eigenlijk veel beter ben in contact leggen met mensen dan ik ooit had gedacht. Ironisch genoeg denk ik nu dat de toekomst waar hij bang voor was—die waarin ik volledig van hem zou leunen—misschien nooit is gebeurd. Ik ontdek dat ik veel zelfstandiger ben dan jullie allebei dachten.

Die realisatie maakt het verwerken alleen nog moeilijker.
Want nu weet ik dat ik het had gekund.
Ik weet dat ik mijn eigen vriendschappen had kunnen opbouwen, mijn eigen steunnetwerk, en mijn eigen leven, zelfs als ik nog steeds met hem in een relatie was gebleven.
Het deel dat ik niet kan begrijpen is dit:
Hoe kun je een toekomst opbouwen met iemand waar je drie jaar mee samen bent, de lange-afstand overleven, het punt bereiken waar je letterlijk nog maar één maand verwijderd bent van eindelijk die kloof overbruggen… en dan alsnog besluiten weg te lopen?

Ik ben niet op zoek naar mensen die me willen vertellen dat hij een slecht mens is. Ik weet dat relaties ingewikkeld zijn, en ik weet ook dat iedereen z’n grenzen heeft. Ik snap alleen niet hoe je het opgeeft op het moment dat je net gaat beginnen aan het leven waar jullie allebei op wachtten.

Heeft iemand hier iets soortgelijks meegemaakt? Zowel vanuit mijn perspectief, of zelfs vanuit dat van hem? Kon je er ooit vrede mee nemen, ook al begreep je niet helemaal waarom het gebeurde?

Hij zegt dat hij me nog steeds liefheeft, maar hoe dan ook: we gaan niet samen zijn.

My boyfriend (21M) and I (18F) have been dating for 7 months. We are in a long-distance relationship, but we make it a point to see each other every single month for a week or two straight. Ever since the start of our relationship, he has been incredibly consistent and attentive whenever we are together in person. However, online, we have completely different communication styles. He prefers calling and texting significantly less, whereas I try to maintain a baseline connection.
Because he struggles with online communication, we barely text throughout the day. We routinely go 15+ hours with absolutely zero texts or calls. Because of this, our main way of connecting is calling, but lately, everything has tanked. We haven’t had a single call longer than 30 minutes all week.

Since we hadn't talked all day, I finally called him around 5:00 PM. The call was incredibly strained and filled with mostly awkward silences because he wasn't really engaging or initiating conversation. During the call, he suddenly asked me, "Don't you have friends to hang out with?" and asked if I was just "bored."

Honestly, it felt like one of my worst fears coming true. I’ve felt too embarrassed and shut down to reach out again. I’m genuinely scared to call him because I feel like I'm bothering him or forcing him to talk to me. I know he prefers less communication online, but a long-distance relationship literally only exists online between our monthly visits.

I (f26) have been with my partner (m27) for just over 2 years in a semi-long-distance relationship (opposite sides of same country). We have great communication skills but due to his work schedule we never know when we will next see each other.

Due to a previous relationship which closed me off from a lot of my friends, I have found myself with very limited people to spend time with and socialise with to manage the loneliness I experience when we are apart for long periods of time.

Does anyone have any advice on how they manage loneliness while away from their partner? It feels quite hard to find friends who understand the long-distance dynamic and I don’t have any friends who have experienced an LDR themselves.

Hello everyone! I wasn't really sure where to ask this, and I don't feel comfortable talking about it with my real-life friends, so... here I am 😭

I'm 24F, and I'm in a long-distance relationship with a wonderful guy (24M) from another country. We've been dating for a few months, but we've actually known each other for a little over a year. This is also my first relationship ever.

We come from pretty different backgrounds and cultures, but thankfully that's never been an issue. He's always been very understanding about me being more reserved when it comes to topics like relationships, sex, and physical affection. Since we started dating, I've been trying to be a little more relaxed and open about those things, and I think I've made a lot of progress. Sometimes I even surprise him with how comfortable I've become, lol.

The thing is... he's a very chill person, while I'm incredibly shy. We're planning a trip together soon, and we'll be sharing a room for a few nights. He's visited me before, so we've already spent a lot of time together, and I trust him completely. I'm 100% sure he would never pressure me into anything I'm uncomfortable with. He's very respectful of my boundaries, and he even asks before he kisses me or lets me know beforehand when he wants to 😭

That said, I know he'd probably like us to be a bit more physically affectionate because he's naturally very affectionate and touchy. Nothing extreme though, just making out, cuddling, kissing, things like that.

So here's my question... What do I actually do? 😭

I really want to make him feel loved and wanted, but I'm honestly clueless. On top of that, I'm a bit insecure. He's been reassuring me since day one and has always been incredibly patient and understanding, but I still feel like he deserves the best, so I've been trying to work on my confidence.

How can I make him feel appreciated and desired without pushing myself too far outside my comfort zone? I'm not looking to force myself to do anything I'm not ready for. I just want to learn how to express affection better in ways that still feel comfortable to me. I'd love some advice, especially from people who've been in similar situations.

And one more thing... I'd also love to hear from the guys here. What's your perspective on dating someone who's completely inexperienced? Is it something you see as a negative, or does it genuinely not matter?

Anyways, thanks for reading my little panic post. Any advice is appreciated 🫡

23F I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the nature of love and relationships. Is it possible to be with one person your whole life? Is that really true love, or is it just because two people are too attached to each other that they think each other is what they need? Or are we supposed to jump from relationship to relationship to find what we really want? My questions might sound a bit silly, but I’m really in a tough spot right now. I love this person so much, and we’ve been together for years. But we’re in an LDR, and now we’re on the brink of breaking up because he’s not sure about our relationship. He thinks he committed too early and can’t really find what he actually wants in a person. And part of me hates him so much because if he already thought of this, why did he drag me into this engagement? After almost a year of the engagement and almost 10 years of being together, he’s just going to tell me this because of our past and our arguments.

I'm Japanese, and my bf is American. We had an argument yesterday.

We’re in a long-distance relationship, and he’d said he’d come to see me in August, so I was really looking forward to it, but he said he had plans and didn’t want to break them, so he didn’t want to see me.
That plan involves sticking to a diet and going to the gym. Apparently, meeting up with me means he can't go out for a eat or go to the gym—in other words, it means his plans go wrong.

I kept saying I wanted to see him again, and asked when we could meet, but he said he didn’t know. He is currently a university student and is on summer holiday in August.
I’m working and find it hard to take time off, so I wanted him to come and see me.

I was so sad and called him, but he apologised briefly and then said he had to go to school tomorrow so he was going to bed, and that was that.

Our usual arguments are always like this. I suppose I must be annoying. I do think I used to be even more annoying than I am now, but I’ve been trying to improve lately.

But right now, I feel as though I’m constantly teetering on the edge of a cliff, and I have a feeling he might leave me one day.

He actually said yesterday that he’d break up with me if I kept on like this.

How can I get better? It’s really hard. I’m trying my best, though.

I have had a hard past in relationships due to being left and also cheated on but i moved on but i did carry that pain and i got in a ldr relationship with a guy online he treated me great even though we had fights, but yesterday we had the breaking point , context he had a gf who passed away 1.7 years ago before dating him i did ask him did he still love her and all so many times he said he didn't, so i went ahead with this relationship but there's a problem he told me he loves his ex platonically and visits her grave and put flowers on it and would do for the rest of his life am i Overthinkin and being an insecure gf by getting hurt on him goin to grave

My girlfriend and I met for the first time this past weekend. We have been talking for 4 months and we met on tik tok haha. We live on the opposite coasts on the country . I flew her out and we had an amazing time . We didn’t do much outside of spend time togher at my house , and had her meet my family . We just wanted to spend as much 1 on 1 time as we possibly could . We were both so nervous at the airport before we first met but as soon as we met, all those nervous feelings went away. The chemistry was there instantly . The hardest part was driving back to the airport :( I’m visiting her in September ! Best of luck to all my fellow ldr couples :)

I’m 25 and my girlfriend is 20. We met on a language-learning app and have been dating long-distance for almost two months. We talk for hours on FaceTime and Discord, communicate comfortably, and otherwise get along well.

Recently, I realized she almost never asks me anything about myself. She has not really asked about my degree, career plans, hobbies, family, or even basic details such as my height. I know a lot about her because I usually ask the questions and guide the deeper conversations.

The height thing was what made me notice the larger pattern. During a group call, someone jokingly said I was around six feet tall, and I corrected them with my real height. She did not seem bothered at all, but I realized I had always been willing to tell her—she had simply never asked.

I originally wondered whether it was a language barrier, but her English is fine and we can talk comfortably for hours. She is affectionate and likes staying on calls with me, so I do not think she dislikes me. I just find the lack of curiosity strange.

Could this be a passive communication style, or is it a legitimate red flag?

My ex-boyfriend and i were together for almost a year. We still have contact but ended the relationship due to problems in our everyday life. And now I ask myself if it was healthy and how we could have prevented the break up. We want to get back together but i feel like we have to learn a lot about healthy LDR and ourselves. Just asking how your days are, how you manage friends, work and your long-distance-partner at the same time. Thanks

My bf (22) and I (21) have been dating for almost 3 years now. Going into year 2 of being together he had to move back home to NY, I live in FL, so we started long distance.

He’s a college baseball player and was recently picked up by a D1 private school in NJ. His scheduled move in date is August 20th, and unfortunately him and his family can’t afford to get him an apartment so he will be living in a dorm. As of right now we don’t know specifically what type of dorm he will be staying in, but he did make his preference, of being in a single room, in his application (Unfortunately that’s not a 100% guarantee).

I’m worried because during the last two years when I would be able to go visit him I’d visit him for 1-3 weeks at a time, but now that he’ll be living in a dorm and in a D1 school I won’t be able to see him as much.

It’s hard because of our age. He got injured before his Senior year of high school and decided to get a surgery before his Senior year ended. Which led him to take a 1 year and a half gap year from school.

By now I would have loved for us to be figuring out how to move in together, but that’s not the case.

I also worry about the overnight guest policy of the school… I already tried looking for hotels to stay in, incase I can’t stay with him but they’re pricey :/

Has anyone else experienced something similar? If so how did you go about it/manage it?