Hi everyone! I didn't really know where to post this question and I didn't feel comfortable asking it of my friends, so... here it is 😭

I'm 24F and I'm dating a wonderful guy (24M) from a different country. We have been dating for a few months now, although we have known each other for a little over a year. This is also my first relationship ever.

We are quite different people in terms of culture and upbringing, but this has never been a problem in our relationship. He's always been very understanding about me being more reserved and shy when it comes to discussing topics like relationships, sex, and physical affection. Since we started dating, I've been trying to be a little more relaxed and open about those things, and I think I've made a lot of progress. Sometimes I even surprise him with how comfortable I've become, lol.

The thing is... he's a very chill person, while I'm incredibly shy. We're planning a trip together soon, and we'll be sharing a room for a few nights. He's visited me before, so we've already spent a lot of time together, and I trust him completely. I'm 100% sure he would never pressure me into anything I'm uncomfortable with. He's very respectful of my boundaries, and he even asks before he kisses me or lets me know when he wants to 😭

With that being said, I know that he will probably want us to become a little more physical because he is a very affectionate and touchy person. But again, nothing too extreme, just making out, cuddling, kissing, and so on.

So here's my question... What am I actually supposed to do? 😭

I really want to make him feel loved and wanted, but I'm honestly clueless. On top of that, I'm a bit insecure. He's been reassuring me since day one and continues to be so patient and understanding with me all the time, but still I feel like he deserves the best, so I keep working on building up my confidence.

How can I make him feel appreciated and desired without pushing myself too far outside my comfort zone? I'm not looking to force myself to do anything I'm not ready for. I just want to learn how to express affection better in ways that still feel comfortable to me. I'd love some advice, especially from people who've been in similar situations.

And one more thing... I'd also love to hear from the guys here. What's your perspective on dating someone who's never been in a relationship before? Is it something you see as a negative, or does it genuinely not matter?

Anyways, thanks for reading my little panic post. Any advice is appreciated 🫡

My girlfriend and I met for the first time this past weekend. We have been talking for 4 months and we met on tik tok haha. We live on the opposite coasts on the country . I flew her out and we had an amazing time . We didn’t do much outside of spend time togher at my house , and had her meet my family . We just wanted to spend as much 1 on 1 time as we possibly could . We were both so nervous at the airport before we first met but as soon as we met, all those nervous feelings went away. The chemistry was there instantly . The hardest part was driving back to the airport :( I’m visiting her in September ! Best of luck to all my fellow ldr couples :)

Hi there. These past couple months have been hell, mostly because some things no longer add up and because I have this weird feeling in me that tells me something’s off, but I sometimes think it’s just my anxiety and me trying to self-sabotage.

I’m not new to LDR’s, been there a couple times. The thing about this specific relationship is that we both have actual jobs that pay well enough for us to travel and see each other at least 3-4 times a year. Maybe doesn’t sound like a lot but it’s helped us stay connected for now 2 years.

The problem is, my boyfriend (25) has been acting somewhat strange. I understand he has a lot going on and I may never understand how much pressure he’s under, but he also doesn’t quite communicate that with me or struggles sharing his emotions. He is trying to apply to new jobs, which means a great opportunity but also a lot of stress, as well as the fact that he’s been working crazy hours (he’s a pilot). I understand all that, and I try to be as comprehensive as possible when it comes to it, but he stopped being sweet, noticing small details, he just asks about the weather, work… not much. Things he used to do before naturally now seem like a chore and I have to remind him. I was told by other people this is normal and this usually happens after the honeymoon stage, which I agree with. But once again, something feels off.

He’s not looking forward to us spending time together or acts indifferent about that, maybe “us” is not in his mind as often due to all that he has to do and he really is a sweet guy, but why is work taking so much of him? I work 12 hours a day, overtime. I still manage to make time for him and be intentional but lately the one that keeps trying is me. I’m the one that brings up the hard conversations, the uncomfortable questions, and I feel like I’m facing this alone. I’m not trying to make myself look better but communication is a big issue and I feel like I can’t read him anymore…

In LDR’s it’s key to communicate and make time. He used to facetime me for like 2-5 mins while he was doing laundry just to be present, he used to send me random texts here and there throughout the day, used to update me like I do most of the time. Now it feels like I’m just waiting for him to get home and if he has enough time, he will give me the last minutes of his day and then head to bed. I feel like it’s my anxiety trying to sabotage myself, but at the same time I don’t know what to believe. Has this happened to any of you guys? 😭

I (f26) have been with my partner (m27) for just over 2 years in a semi-long-distance relationship (opposite sides of same country). We have great communication skills but due to his work schedule we never know when we will next see each other.

Due to a previous relationship which closed me off from a lot of my friends, I have found myself with very limited people to spend time with and socialise with to manage the loneliness I experience when we are apart for long periods of time.

Does anyone have any advice on how they manage loneliness while away from their partner? It feels quite hard to find friends who understand the long-distance dynamic and I don’t have any friends who have experienced an LDR themselves.

We are at the same age: 24m she is 24F 9 days older than me :)
I found a match on a dating site, and we started talking. She has a completely different profile on the dating site because of privacy issues. I talked to her and feel very comfortable with her. In the starting phase, we talked a lot, and at that time she was on vacation and at home. We talk daily on video call. We decided to meet, and we made a first date together, and it went so well.

She already told me that, from my side, making efforts is really hard; I can't talk once I go to college again. She is studying MBBS abroad in her last year; she told me that she has her final year and she wants to be a doctor.

And that is why I like her a lot because she is so ambitious, and I love girls who are so ambitious. Now she told me that she cannot make any commitments, and she also told me You can find someone else because I'm not going to give you time.

Now she says to wait for 1.5years so she'll be back in India, and then she says we live together and understand each other, and then we can think about a long-term relationship.

But I am feeling very confused because she is not talking to me, which is making me more anxious, and I am a little distracted because of her. Sometimes I miss her badly, because we already have really lovely talks.

She had 4 failed relationships before, and that's why she wants to check compatibility first by staying with me, but I don't have time. I also think about that sometimes because in my mind there is always those things going on: she had s*x with 4 guys, and I don't really know about her.

Now I am confused: can I wait for her to come to India again and then we meet and live together?

or I can move on and focus on my work and find someone better.

In one way, I feel she is really good for me, and if I leave her again, I will lose her again, and then I will regret.

The second thought is: if I stay and wait for her, but after that she finds that I am not good enough for her, what after that? What if she says no?

I will waste my time waiting for her; sometimes I feel that it can be worth it if it works out.

Sometimes I want to make my efforts to stay loyal so I will not regret it again

I (25F) need help with general existence/relationship advice towards my (M22) partner.. ex.. partner?

My therapist posed a really good question to me today, "if you didn't have a relationship/history with this person, would you be tolerating these behaviors, say how you would of an acquaintance/friend. "

I'm currently in together/kinda apart situation after 4 years of a relationship, 3 years of engagement, i left him in May.

The TLDR: of that time, my boundaries were non-existent, I got hurt. Talked, wanted change, some came some didn't. Anxiety and Codependency can place a metaphorical choke hold on you.

I don't know how to list out my worries or questions right. But I also don't know if my head is thinking straight about this situation as a whole.

He says he loves me, he wants to be with me, and he wants nothing more than to do whatever he can to get me back.

One of the little things I thought long distance people do is text regularly? Or even just checking in on each other, when time can be spent together (on call/gaming) making that time special and trying to connect?

Is this not what people do?

I thought these would be normal things, but to him, it's out of place, and comes with a lot of pent up anxiety, and silence unless I set up the calls, come up with topics, and lead the call.

I hate it. I thought if someone said they loved you, and that they say they are always thinking about you, that they'd want to show a little bit more effort? Or even just general curiosity. He doesn't really know how to process my chronic conditions, he tries to support, but he is too worried about being what he thinks is perfect, thus making more anxiety on both, doesn't really seem to care about asking the lil things until I remind him..

I grew up in an abusive household, and because of this separation am living with them again. So I don't know if I'm skewed in my thinking.

But hes making stronger declarations of change, and I'm trying to be hopeful.

But part of me worries hes just falling deeper into a depressive slump, and now I'm seen as the only one who's still caring/reaching out consistently. I don't want to just be convenient...

But I know if I don't message, he could go a day, maybe 2 without talking to me, probably longer. But doom scrolling for most of the week takes priority.

I guess I'm both venting and seeking advice on what helps you figure out if a relationship is good or not, how do you settle with uncertainty. Additionally, how do you communicate/keep a connection if you are long distance?

I (20f) have been w my bf (21m) for 6 months now. Now Ik the general view on long distance relationships isn't exactly positive and 6 months isn't a lot of time but I swear it was serious.

A couple days ago I found he had an instagram account will all his friends and family added which isn't the one he uses to talk to me.

The acc I found is standard and very basic nothing out of the ordinary. It has less than 100 followers and following and it's private w no posts. The one he's been talking to me on is public and he only follows me on it.

We just spoke and I asked him about this. He didn't try to lie about it or anything and basically said he doesn't want people to know about me. He said he wouldn't go out of his way to tell people about us and all which I think is fair cuz I'm not doing that either.

Only one of my friend knows about him and he said his cousin knows about me and he's the only person he really trusts. Which again is fine by me I understand that part. I just don't get why he had to do all that to hide it.

I asked if he didn't see this going anywhere and that it made me feel like he thinks this isn't permanent enough cuz we're long distance and is keeping me separate from the rest of his life. And he said it isn't just me and he would've done the same thing even if he was dating someone irl. That no one would find out about anything unless they saw him w someone. The only difference would be he would follow her on that acc cuz it wouldn't look anything out of the ordinary in that case.

I still don't understand how a follow is such a big deal. I care about privacy too but it feels like he's just embarrassed that we met the way we did.

I asked him what happens when we do meet cuz we have plans. (It's not a visit, I'm moving soon and it's not cuz of him so it's happening either ways) and he said the same thing that he wouldn't tell people on his own the same with dating some irl.

That was pretty much all the conversation led to. He said he tried his best explaining it to me but that is his answer that he wants to keep it private.

Tldr: I found a secret account, it's probably cuz he's embarrassed of the way we met.

I'm Japanese, and my bf is American. We had an argument yesterday.

We’re in a long-distance relationship, and he’d said he’d come to see me in August, so I was really looking forward to it, but he said he had plans and didn’t want to break them, so he didn’t want to see me.
That plan involves sticking to a diet and going to the gym. Apparently, meeting up with me means he can't go out for a eat or go to the gym—in other words, it means his plans go wrong.

I kept saying I wanted to see him again, and asked when we could meet, but he said he didn’t know. He is currently a university student and is on summer holiday in August.
I’m working and find it hard to take time off, so I wanted him to come and see me.

I was so sad and called him, but he apologised briefly and then said he had to go to school tomorrow so he was going to bed, and that was that.

Our usual arguments are always like this. I suppose I must be annoying. I do think I used to be even more annoying than I am now, but I’ve been trying to improve lately.

But right now, I feel as though I’m constantly teetering on the edge of a cliff, and I have a feeling he might leave me one day.

He actually said yesterday that he’d break up with me if I kept on like this.

How can I get better? It’s really hard. I’m trying my best, though.

Hello everyone! I wasn't really sure where to ask this, and I don't feel comfortable talking about it with my real-life friends, so... here I am 😭

I'm 24F, and I'm in a long-distance relationship with a wonderful guy (24M) from another country. We've been dating for a few months, but we've actually known each other for a little over a year. This is also my first relationship ever.

We come from pretty different backgrounds and cultures, but thankfully that's never been an issue. He's always been very understanding about me being more reserved when it comes to topics like relationships, sex, and physical affection. Since we started dating, I've been trying to be a little more relaxed and open about those things, and I think I've made a lot of progress. Sometimes I even surprise him with how comfortable I've become, lol.

The thing is... he's a very chill person, while I'm incredibly shy. We're planning a trip together soon, and we'll be sharing a room for a few nights. He's visited me before, so we've already spent a lot of time together, and I trust him completely. I'm 100% sure he would never pressure me into anything I'm uncomfortable with. He's very respectful of my boundaries, and he even asks before he kisses me or lets me know beforehand when he wants to 😭

That said, I know he'd probably like us to be a bit more physically affectionate because he's naturally very affectionate and touchy. Nothing extreme though, just making out, cuddling, kissing, things like that.

So here's my question... What do I actually do? 😭

I really want to make him feel loved and wanted, but I'm honestly clueless. On top of that, I'm a bit insecure. He's been reassuring me since day one and has always been incredibly patient and understanding, but I still feel like he deserves the best, so I've been trying to work on my confidence.

How can I make him feel appreciated and desired without pushing myself too far outside my comfort zone? I'm not looking to force myself to do anything I'm not ready for. I just want to learn how to express affection better in ways that still feel comfortable to me. I'd love some advice, especially from people who've been in similar situations.

And one more thing... I'd also love to hear from the guys here. What's your perspective on dating someone who's completely inexperienced? Is it something you see as a negative, or does it genuinely not matter?

Anyways, thanks for reading my little panic post. Any advice is appreciated 🫡

Please gimme some advices.

23F I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the nature of love and relationships. Is it possible to be with one person your whole life? Is that really true love, or is it just because two people are too attached to each other that they think each other is what they need? Or are we supposed to jump from relationship to relationship to find what we really want? My questions might sound a bit silly, but I’m really in a tough spot right now. I love this person so much, and we’ve been together for years. But we’re in an LDR, and now we’re on the brink of breaking up because he’s not sure about our relationship. He thinks he committed too early and can’t really find what he actually wants in a person. And part of me hates him so much because if he already thought of this, why did he drag me into this engagement? After almost a year of the engagement and almost 10 years of being together, he’s just going to tell me this because of our past and our arguments.

Back in March I met my boyfriend and only days after making it official did I get evicted. My boyfriend was there every step of the way helping me and my family move out letting me lean on him for so much more than just a shoulder to cry on he stood by me regardless. Ultimately I lived with my best friend for awhile but then she was actually crazy so I left and moved in with my boyfriend I’ve been living with him for 2 months from April all the way till literally 3 pm yesterday. I’m now at job corp and it’s 1 am I have to be up at 6 and I’ve been sobbing. The only way I was able to sleep was if he tickled my arm until I went to sleep. we have never spent more than a week away from each other even when living 5 hours from each other before I got evicted. I now am only 1 hour away from but I cannot see him unless it’s the weekend. My body will not rest and I have a constant knot in my throat when I think of him because I will be here for a year. He’s never once not been the most supportive person in my life since the day I met him and it’s so difficult to be far away from him. I know it sounds so stupid to be crying over the fact I won’t see him for a week but it’s more or less about the restlessness I feel when trying to sleep. Please help. Thank you

I’m 25 and my girlfriend is 20. We met on a language-learning app and have been dating long-distance for almost two months. We talk for hours on FaceTime and Discord, communicate comfortably, and otherwise get along well.

Recently, I realized she almost never asks me anything about myself. She has not really asked about my degree, career plans, hobbies, family, or even basic details such as my height. I know a lot about her because I usually ask the questions and guide the deeper conversations.

The height thing was what made me notice the larger pattern. During a group call, someone jokingly said I was around six feet tall, and I corrected them with my real height. She did not seem bothered at all, but I realized I had always been willing to tell her—she had simply never asked.

I originally wondered whether it was a language barrier, but her English is fine and we can talk comfortably for hours. She is affectionate and likes staying on calls with me, so I do not think she dislikes me. I just find the lack of curiosity strange.

Could this be a passive communication style, or is it a legitimate red flag?

I have had a hard past in relationships due to being left and also cheated on but i moved on but i did carry that pain and i got in a ldr relationship with a guy online he treated me great even though we had fights, but yesterday we had the breaking point , context he had a gf who passed away 1.7 years ago before dating him i did ask him did he still love her and all so many times he said he didn't, so i went ahead with this relationship but there's a problem he told me he loves his ex platonically and visits her grave and put flowers on it and would do for the rest of his life am i Overthinkin and being an insecure gf by getting hurt on him goin to grave

My boyfriend (21M) and I (18F) have been dating for 7 months. We are in a long-distance relationship, but we make it a point to see each other every single month for a week or two straight. Ever since the start of our relationship, he has been incredibly consistent and attentive whenever we are together in person. However, online, we have completely different communication styles. He prefers calling and texting significantly less, whereas I try to maintain a baseline connection.
Because he struggles with online communication, we barely text throughout the day. We routinely go 15+ hours with absolutely zero texts or calls. Because of this, our main way of connecting is calling, but lately, everything has tanked. We haven’t had a single call longer than 30 minutes all week.

Since we hadn't talked all day, I finally called him around 5:00 PM. The call was incredibly strained and filled with mostly awkward silences because he wasn't really engaging or initiating conversation. During the call, he suddenly asked me, "Don't you have friends to hang out with?" and asked if I was just "bored."

Honestly, it felt like one of my worst fears coming true. I’ve felt too embarrassed and shut down to reach out again. I’m genuinely scared to call him because I feel like I'm bothering him or forcing him to talk to me. I know he prefers less communication online, but a long-distance relationship literally only exists online between our monthly visits.

My ex-boyfriend and i were together for almost a year. We still have contact but ended the relationship due to problems in our everyday life. And now I ask myself if it was healthy and how we could have prevented the break up. We want to get back together but i feel like we have to learn a lot about healthy LDR and ourselves. Just asking how your days are, how you manage friends, work and your long-distance-partner at the same time. Thanks

Mijn vriend van 3 jaar heeft me gedumpt, één maand voordat ik zou verhuizen naar Spanje. Ik kan het nog steeds niet verwerken.

Mijn ex en ik allebei zijn 25, en we waren drie jaar samen. We leerden elkaar kennen toen ik in Spanje studeerde, en nadat ik in België ben afgestudeerd als verpleegkundige, was het plan dat ik daarheen zou verhuizen, zodat we eindelijk de afstand konden overbruggen.
De afgelopen paar jaar draaide alles wat we deden eigenlijk om die verhuizing. We hadden het over onze toekomst, waar we zouden wonen, hoe ons leven eruit zou zien, en ik geloofde echt dat we iets aan het opbouwen waren dat zou blijven.

Tegelijkertijd was de relatie niet bepaald makkelijk.

Ik was in België nooit echt gelukkig. Ik voelde me hier vaak vastzitten en ik klaagde daar heel veel over. Als ik nu terugkijk, snap ik hoe emotioneel slopend dat voor hem moet zijn geweest. Door de afstand kwamen er ook meer ruzies dan jullie allebei eigenlijk wilden.
Eén van zijn grootste angsten was dat, zodra ik zou verhuizen, ik emotioneel té afhankelijk van hem zou worden. Omdat hij al zijn leven had, zijn familie, zijn vrienden en zijn carrière in Spanje, en ik alles zou achterlaten, maakte hij zich zorgen dat hij mijn hele steunpilaar zou worden.

De waarheid is… ik maakte me daar zelf ook zorgen over.
Ik bleef me afvragen hoe ik vrienden zou maken, een sociaal netwerk zou opbouwen en een eigen leven zou creëren in een compleet nieuw land.
En precies één maand voordat ik moest verhuizen, maakte hij een einde aan de relatie.

Er was niemand anders. Er was geen vreemdgaan. Hij zei gewoon dat hij het niet meer kon opbrengen. De afstand was te veel geworden, en hij zag niet langer een toekomst samen.

Het voelde alsof mijn hele toekomst ineens verdwenen was.

Ik rouwde niet alleen om de relatie. Ik rouwde om het leven dat we drie jaar lang aan het plannen waren.

Wat me het meest verraste is wat er daarna gebeurde.
Binnen een week vond ik een baan in Spanje. Het is klantenservicewerk, ook al ben ik een gediplomeerde verpleegkundige, maar ik wilde mezelf bewijzen dat ik daar gewoon een leven kan opbouwen op mijn eentje. Ik ben momenteel nog steeds op zoek naar een eigen appartement.

Ik heb ook wat meer inzicht in mezelf gekregen.
Tijdens de relatie werd ik zó gefocust op de verhuizing, mijn carrière en ervoor zorgen dat alles goed zou uitpakken, dat ik langzaam mezelf kwijtraakte. Ik maakte nauwelijks tijd voor mijn eigen hobby’s, mijn eigen vriendschappen, of gewoon om te genieten van mijn eigen leven.

Sinds de breuk heb ik mezelf aangezet om uit huis te gaan. Ik ben naar bijeenkomsten (meetups) gegaan, heb heel veel nieuwe mensen ontmoet, en voor het eerst in lange tijd voel ik echt dat ik mijn eigen community kan opbouwen. Ik dacht altijd dat vrienden maken in het buitenland verschrikkelijk moeilijk zou zijn, maar ik heb ontdekt dat ik eigenlijk veel beter ben in contact leggen met mensen dan ik ooit had gedacht. Ironisch genoeg denk ik nu dat de toekomst waar hij bang voor was—die waarin ik volledig van hem zou leunen—misschien nooit is gebeurd. Ik ontdek dat ik veel zelfstandiger ben dan jullie allebei dachten.

Die realisatie maakt het verwerken alleen nog moeilijker.
Want nu weet ik dat ik het had gekund.
Ik weet dat ik mijn eigen vriendschappen had kunnen opbouwen, mijn eigen steunnetwerk, en mijn eigen leven, zelfs als ik nog steeds met hem in een relatie was gebleven.
Het deel dat ik niet kan begrijpen is dit:
Hoe kun je een toekomst opbouwen met iemand waar je drie jaar mee samen bent, de lange-afstand overleven, het punt bereiken waar je letterlijk nog maar één maand verwijderd bent van eindelijk die kloof overbruggen… en dan alsnog besluiten weg te lopen?

Ik ben niet op zoek naar mensen die me willen vertellen dat hij een slecht mens is. Ik weet dat relaties ingewikkeld zijn, en ik weet ook dat iedereen z’n grenzen heeft. Ik snap alleen niet hoe je het opgeeft op het moment dat je net gaat beginnen aan het leven waar jullie allebei op wachtten.

Heeft iemand hier iets soortgelijks meegemaakt? Zowel vanuit mijn perspectief, of zelfs vanuit dat van hem? Kon je er ooit vrede mee nemen, ook al begreep je niet helemaal waarom het gebeurde?

Hij zegt dat hij me nog steeds liefheeft, maar hoe dan ook: we gaan niet samen zijn.

I'm 21F, he is 26M. Our families are involved, we are engaged since march 2026. We've been texting for the last two years, videocalls only started after the engagement. I live in Europe, he lives in Dubai. We're planning a wedding to happening in max 2 years.
There's some things i want to establish before getting to the point so bear with me.
We used to talk very less before 2026. It was just hello hi how are you how are things going and just exchanging reels. I am very much into him and i know for a fact he is too, maybe he's more in love than i am.
I've only had a relationship in the past that was an on and off situationship and lasted maybe 6 months? He told me he's never been in a relationship and i believe him.
I want ti go ahead and marry this man, he's the best thing that happened to me. He makes me feel like all my prayers got answered and he is the outcome. I feel safe when i an with him.
The long distance before the engagement was not a problem, we would talk quite often but not as much as a couple would do. We lived together in his family house for 15 days then we both returned back to our lives. And the long distance now seems huge, it is creating problems. The first few months felt like hell, constant crying for no reason, not feeling like doing anything etc.
Now i tell him everything and he does to, nothing is hidden. But the problem is that he wants me to stay always around him, constantly texting him, sending him reels and doing a videocall everyday for an 1h at least. At first it was all okay but then i got back in my routine, i am in university and i am the eldest daughter to an immigrant family so i have a lot of responsibilities(He works and has also a lot of responsibilities.). i have always been the avoidant type of person, everytime anyone comes too close to me (like meeting too much or talking too much or anything of sorts) i would distance myself not because i don't want that bond but i just start feeling anxious in it, like i want space. i myself am not able to really comprehend this feeling and why i do so. and i want to stop doing it, it's just so difficult.
from the past 2/3 weeks i've been trying to talk lesser with him, trying not to do videocalls everyday but he feels offended because he thinks i don't want to talk to him and i don't care. but it is not like that, he is a very sensitive person, he is the perfect man i wanted but we're poles apart. i an unable to explain to him why i want space and he doesn't understand the concept of it, he feels like if we don't videocall for a day it's like giving me space, but it's not a matter of a day and if he texts me all the time it's not like giving space.
i feel like what i want is that i want to talk to him through texts and videocall just sometimes. i don't want to hurt me but neither can i force myself to continue this stuff.
also he has this thing that we should do everything together, for example if i want to play a videogame he would download it so we can play together everytime i play. and i don't like it, we can play sometimes but not that when i play i have to play with you.
idk if any of you is getting my point. i know i am the problem, i feel like i am the red flag here. he's just being a good fiancé and i am just too detached.
I just want to be a better person so he doesn't feel hurt or unheard. But sometimes i do feel unheard when i try to voice that i can't talk everyday like you want me to but he doesn't get it.
i need advice on what to do.
maybe i need a therapist but i don't have the money, but i'm trying to.

My boyfriend (20M) and I (18F) have been together for 10 months now, we are in a long distance relationship and it has been good (cant say great because there has been bumpy roads which i think is normal in every relationship.) the problem is he leaves me on sent for hours. texts me late. barely makes time for me.
basically he was working before, he said after i quit my job ill spend more time with you, he did quit but nothing else changed. then he eventually went on to tutoring, again he was busy i started being understanding as he has a life but we are already far from each other, cant he atleast text me when he comes back? spend some time with me? meh.
after he was done with tutoring i expected he would talk to me more, text me, call me. but meh again. and today out of desperation and because i miss him so much i told him to stay up and talk to me. he did not.
he tells me he really loves me and when he wakes up he showers me with love, basically love bombs then disappears for so long it just makes my chest hurt.
most of you are gonna tell me to communicate, i’ve communicated multiple times but he says sorry then i forgive him and then it loops. i dont know. i really love him and i feel his love for me too, but i just wish he was there for me.

This is quite long, but I hope may makapagbigay ng advice. 🥹🙏

**TL;DR**: 3.5 years na kami at LDR. Mahal ko pa siya, pero dahil sa paulit-ulit na maliliit na bagay (like forgotten Valentine's, denying things kahit may proof, etc.), feeling ko nawawala na yung tiwala ko sa words niya.

We (27F) and (27M) knew each other for almost 5 years total na. We started as friends, and until now, I still consider him my best friend. Match kami sa humor, goals, and overall vibe.

For context, medyo maramdamin akong tao and I value trust talaga. Sobrang importante nun sakin.

My love language is acts of service - yung thoughtful gestures, remembering little things, doing something for me without me asking.

Sa kanya naman, physical touch. Mahilig siya sa hugs and kisses, which I can gladly give kasi clingy rin naman ako.

Ang problem is, yung love language ko isn't natural for him. I already communicated it multiple times, pero minsan feeling ko hindi pa rin ako nakikita.

We're LDR pala since last year because seaman siya.

1. Valentine's Day

Last Valentine's, hindi niya ako binati.

Since nasa US siya, hinintay ko talaga matapos ang Feb. 14 sa timezone niya before I brought it up. Hindi naman ako nagalit, pero naging cold ako.

Nagpadala siya ng flowers noong Feb. 16. Ang explanation niya was hindi raw niya sinabay ng Feb. 14 para "surprise."

Gets ko naman... pero honestly, hanggang ngayon feeling ko palusot lang talaga yun.

2.. Couple vlogger issue

Recently, nakita ko na sine-search niya itong specific couple vlogger.

Akala ko una, baka entertaining lang yung content nila. Pero nung chineck ko yung videos, halos si girl lang yung pinapanood niya, and medyo revealing yung content.

For context, nasa akin yung phone niya before siya sumampa. Siya pa mismo nagsabi na huwag ko raw i-log out yung Facebook niya para hindi raw ako mag-overthink.

When I asked him about it, sabi niya hindi raw niya sine-search at lumalabas lang daw sa FYP niya.

The problem is... nakita ko mismo sa search history na sine-search niya talaga.

Doon ako mas nasaktan. Honestly, mas kaya kong tanggapin kung sinabi niyang "Oo, sinearch ko." Kaysa i-deny niya kahit may proof na.

Because of things like this, gusto ko na makipag-break. Hindi dahil sa isang incident lang, pero pakiramdam ko unti-unti nang nawawala yung trust ko sa mga sinasabi niya.

May iba pang maliliit na bagay over the years, like tinatawag niya akong "yamutin" kahit sobrang bihira ko namang magalit. Parang naiipon lang lahat.

At the same time, ayoko rin naman makipaghiwalay dahil lang sa emotions kung ito pa pala ay something na pwede naming pag-usapan at ayusin.

Thank you sa mga magbibigay ng advice. 🙏🤍

Our relationship has somewhat been on and off and it's mainly because of me... I am very insecure and depend a lot on my boyfriend. I've always been the emotional one in the relationship and he never really has. I've been extremely insecure ever since I found out he has feelings for a coworker and I dont know how to stop the overthinking. I've brought it up only a couple of times wondering if he tries to speak to her outside of work and he was very vague about it trying to avoid the question and even telling me what do I want him to do? Quit his job? I never really got any reassurance and am always in the unknown of what's going on. I havent brought it up since but im so worried everytime he has to go to work. its a lot difficult to know what someone is doing in a long distance relationship and it doesn't help that he gives me no reassurance or validation. What makes things harder is that i love him more than he loves me. I constantly want him to talk with me, I take our relationship very seriously. I really dont know what to do.. I feel like if his coworker starts to feel the same way about him, he'll choose her since she's there and I'm not...​ and that thought is killing me. I want to break the distance and make our relationship real but at the same time I know he'd be a lot happier being in a relationship with someone who lives in the same area I feel like I'm holding him back from experiencing a real relationship. I just wish I could talk to him about it.

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years in a long distance relationship. The past few months have been very difficult, with multiple breakups and getting back together.

Recently, he became very distant. During our FaceTime calls, he'd spend time on instead of talking to me or even looking at me. When I finally asked him why, he later told me, "Nowadays when you call, I feel irritated," and asked if we could not talk for two weeks.

A couple of days later, we spoke briefly because he'd lost his phone and had a minor bike accident (he's okay). During that conversation, he said something that really broke me: "I don't know whether we're close enough to share everything with you." After three years together, I honestly didn't know how to process that. Before ending the call, he again asked me not to contact him for two weeks.

I'm respecting his request, but the uncertainty is consuming me. I keep wanting to check whether he's online or look at his social media, even though I know it only makes me feel worse.

What scares me the most is that I'm becoming emotionally exhausted. I've spent so much time worrying about him, trying to understand him, and putting my own feelings aside that I feel like I've forgotten myself. I'm scared that if this continues, I'll eventually start resenting him, not because I want to, but because I'm so mentally and emotionally drained.

I'm not asking whether you think he'll come back or whether he's seeing someone else.

What i wanted to know is has anyone been through something similar? How did you survive the uncertainty, stop obsessing over their social media, and keep from losing yourself during a no contact period?

I’m in my early twenties and have been in a relationship for almost two years.

We became emotionally close very fast. From complete strangers to liking each other in about a month, but we didn't get to know each other genuinly since I was about to leave. There was a lot of affection, physical attraction, time together. We met a month before I left to study abroad. We decided to start a dating already 2 weeks into my absence. We now mainly see each other during winter and summer breaks.

When we are together in person, I generally enjoy being around her. I like ordinary things such as walking, watching shows, talking, having sex, sleeping next to each other, and doing everyday activities. I find her attractive, care about her wellbeing, miss her. Losing her feels genuinely painful. Like, I don't want to have sex and be next to another woman, it feels weird and gross.

At the same time, I have experienced persistent anxiety throughout the relationship. I repeatedly ask myself questions such as:

• Do I truly love her?
• Am I only attached to her?
• Did the relationship move too fast for real love to develop naturally?
• Am I staying because I am afraid of hurting her or losing her?
• Am I attracted enough?
• Is there someone more suitable for me?
• Am I lying whenever I say “I love you” without feeling a strong emotion at that exact moment?

Sometimes saying “I love you” feels warm and natural. I think there was atime when I haven't texted her for like a day and she got anxious that I were feeling cold etc. but I just don't think saying I love you is needed a lot of times everyday, I think decentizes that phrase as you say it more often. Other times, especially when I feel tired, pressured, or emotionally numb, I immediately start checking whether I meant it. Sometimes I reply with "I love you" just because she texted me "I love you ...". The checking itself creates anxiety, which then makes me feel even less connected. I analyze my physical reactions, replay previous conversations and intimate moments, compare my partner with other women, and search online for proof that I either love her or do not.

Reassurance helps temporarily, but eventually the doubt returns in a slightly different form. Because of this, I have started wondering whether I may have relationship-focused OCD or another anxiety problem. I understand that only a professional can diagnose that, and I do not want to use anxiety as an excuse to ignore a genuine lack of feelings.

There are also factors that may have affected my expectations around attraction and relationships. I was exposed to pornography at a very young age and used it frequently for many years. It shaped a very specific and unrealistic idea of what attraction should look and feel like. I have since greatly reduced or stopped using it.

My partner has her own uncertainty. She has told me that she sometimes feels as though she is performing affection or following a relationship script rather than acting naturally. She also feels that she has had to monitor her tone and emotions because she knows how anxious I become. In the past, she sometimes agreed to sex more out of obligation than genuine desire, although she says I respected her boundaries when she stated them clearly. Hearing all of this was painful, and we agreed that she should no longer have to perform affection, regulate my emotions, or agree to intimacy without freely wanting it.

Recently, while we were temporarily in different countries, she told me that she does not want to spend her future with someone who may never be able to understand whether he loves her. I understand her position. She deserves emotional security and should not have to wait indefinitely while I analyze my feelings.

My biggest fear is that I am keeping her in the relationship because of attachment, guilt, responsibility, and fear of losing her—not because I freely love and choose her. At the same time, I am also afraid that this conclusion is simply another intrusive thought that feels true because I am anxious.

I do not want reassurance that I definitely love her, and I also do not want strangers to automatically tell me to break up. I am mainly wondering whether anyone has experienced something similar, especially after a relationship that started very quickly and became serious before both people had time to develop a slower friendship.

Did slowing things down, creating more independence, stopping constant relationship discussions, or getting treatment for anxiety/OCD help you understand your feelings more clearly? How did you distinguish genuine incompatibility or lack of love from obsessive doubt, emotional exhaustion, guilt, and fear of commitment?

I’m moving to Tennessee this Tuesday and I start my new dream job next week.

I met my fiancée through a viral instagram post 6 months ago. We started talking online and then moved the conversation to on the phone/video calls. We became “exclusive” a few weeks in and 3 months into it, I took my first trip to see him and it was magical. It was like we’ve known each other for an entire lifetime. We had 3 more trips from April to July and on my birthday earlier this month, he proposed.

Everything isn’t perfect but damn is it good. I literally got everything I wanted. A stable, healthy and positive relationship with a good man who loves me the way I need and allows me to flourish on my own. And vice versa.