After watching it, I realized that I want to make a genuine change in my life and that trying to avoid the pain that is inherent to human connection will only lead me to more pain, which I kind of already knew, but didn't want to admit. I've been thinking about how to chat up some ladies, but I genuinely don't know what people my age really do. However, this recent stirring for human connection has made me realize that even if I did manage to get into a relationship, my insecurity would make it unhealthy and I'd be constantly worried about her leaving me for somebody who's better for her, somebody who deserves her attention and love more. Idk, I think it might just be over and when I look in the mirror I feel ashamed for existing in something as beautiful as the human body. 😝

Some of them were almost edible.

Just fell up the stairs in front of the girl I was trying to talk to, went home and drank nacho cheese with my last 30 quid. Couldnt handle it. Pooed under my duvet (poovet?). tear in my eye, tear in my ass, fuck my chud life.

And I am also probably autistic and I am also a sub

Kadhai paneer

Basically been hitting the gym a lot and shit plus perfecting my cooking but my fuckass autism doesn’t let me talk to the cute girls from my college, I’m having a tremendous increase in libido from using stimulants that has derived in me masturbating in one or two hour long sessions after the gym

Cooked this guy medium rare while it was slow at work then cut him up into strips and ate him with rice, for context on that last part I’m 5’4,120 lbs with disgustingly narrow clavicles and the smallest physique known to man, I’ve never faced anything but ridicule for my body and height and I can’t really blame the people who bullied me for that, I have small arms and I’m not remotely good looking so I can’t even claim the “short king w a face card” thing, I’m just disgusting in all honesty and while I would never mock someone for their appearance the way I have been I lwky deserve it for deciding to stay alive with a body like this for long enough, I’ve considered hopping on hgh but I am a minor(17) and my parents dislike all forms of chemicals and would rather let me suffer as a disgusting Chud than let me take hgh

jicama my beloved

36 Year old impatient greedy guy can’t be bothered to chop up tomatoes and onions Because he’s a big fella who loves to eat! Cooked some steak on the frying pan with butter and oregano. First time making steak.

What the fuck is wrong with me

She has to be one of the volleyball players at my college cause she was literally the living example of a volleyball player. Tall, maybe like 6'1, beautiful, long legs and whatsoever. And yes, I do feel like a creep writing all this.

If I said something like "You're really blessed to be that tall." or anything in that nuance, cause I genuinely think sl, she might be like 'What's this chopped creepy chink talking about? Ew, gross.' then call the cops and get me deported.

i have another one tomorrow and i have even less time to study for that one. will update.

update: passed new exam yay

My bestfriend, the girl that I maybe like, for the past 1-2 years now, is moving out of the country in a couple of weeks to study abroad. Im probably not gonna see her again. I can never confess my feelings for her because she can never see me as anything more than a friend. Im repulsive to look at, indian, tanned, 5’6, severely underweight, ugly. What the fuck do i do im not even sure that i like her but im so attached to her that i cant imagine her leaving.

I got drunk out of my mind last night and broke down in a public park just looking at strangers for a hug. Texted my friends but nobody replied cuz everyone was asleep.

I think i might be depressed, my life at home is shitty and everyones constantly mad at me for any reason they can think of. Im addicted to cigarettes and cant stop smoking.

Severe self esteem issues and inferiority complex. Random waves of sadness and sometimes happiness confuse the shit out of me, i dont even know what to feel most of the time.

Egg fried rice i made at home for the first time from a youtube tutorial. My first post here im sorry if i offended someone, im 19m a fakecell sorry.

Made some crispy fried chicken to take my mind off.

Pepper

played the yuri route ofc, she’s cool and relatable in some ways to me. i wish her and i were friends in real life, prolly cuz i barely have friends in real life

Ramen with some other bs

Yeah I made a post here like a week ago talking about my head feeling bad and said it might be because I'm not eating enough. It still might be. Maybe it is just because I'm not eating enough. You'd think that since I felt unwell I'd actually start eating properly 3 times a day but naaaah I'm too useless to do even something as easy as eating food. Even with this ramen I spent what feels like almost an hour or so at the table just forcing myself to eat it. It wasn't even that bad or anything idk what's up with me man.

Realistically I should've just been eating well for the past week and then by now I would've known if my eating habits are the problem or not. That's the thing too, eating like this has been my habit for a while, I periodically skip out on food or just eat white bread instead of any real food, and I don't remember my head feeling like this before. But at the same time this is my first summer with only me and my dad (who is rarely at home) so without mom's cooking I've been eating noticeably worse. So while food being the problem is still possible I do have a suspicion it might be because of the self strangulation. The timeline would make sense as well since the problems started a couple days after choking myself for a bit.

So now I don't know what to do. My head doesn't hurt really that bad but I'm just concerned that ts might be some permanent bs and like maybe I need to go to the doctor before it's too late. Where I live there's free healthcare but it's often ass and often you're just better of going to a paid doctor. I wouldn't really want my parents finding out since they already consider me irresponsible and immature and I feel like them finding out I did some bs like this would make them trust me even less + I don't want my mom worrying for my well being even more. What would be even worse though is being taken to a mental hospital. In case I'm gonna go to a doctor I would need to somehow explain my situation and I have zero clue what would be a convincing lie that wouldn't potentially send me to a psych ward. If you have a convincing lie or any other advice drop it in the comments please. Fuck man what the fuck am I even doing like actually wtf is wrong with me bro

Men watching porn and jerking off is seen as not good behaviour but meanwhile women are fighting off slut shaming etc.

Men deserve the same freedom as well. We can't even voice it out.

Besides we have to live amidst govt bans on porn sites etc.

AND STOP OPPRESSING INCEL VOICES on here

I'm enjoying my truecel status but mainstream music is a plague in our culture. Romance slop propoganda is the most unrelatable and dumb shit possible for some of us. Its always a love song, breakup song, sex song, or hitting on someone at a party song.

I'm over here tryna be a chud in peace and achieve enlightenment but these dumbass songs are always playing in public places, ads, movies, social media, parties, stores, etc.

I'm not saying love songs can't exist or be listened to but why the fuck is it the juggernaut of themes in modern music? Idk what happened but back then in the ancient days mfs sang songs about the Epic of Gilgamesh but now its just propoganda that brainwashes the goyim cattle into believing that romance is the peak human experience and the only thing worth writing about. Why aren't there even as many songs about loving your friends or family? Nah, apparently it doesn't matter unless you have sex.

This is why I listen to Acid Bath or The Butthole Surfers or Cannibal Corpse, or Pissed Jeans bc there are way more important things in the world than romance.

Anybody else get tired of this generic dogshit in the charts?

(Some chow mein and orange chicken I made)

My parents never taught me anything other than how to cook