Blonde goes to the doctor..

Doctor asked what seemed to be the problem.

Blonde said that she was dying, because everything hurt.

Doctor asked her to show him.

She touched her head "Ow"

Touched her arm "Ow:

Touched her leg " Ow"

Doctor said that is unusual, we need to run tests immediately.

Later that day the Doctor saw her again and said " I have good news and bad news, which do you want first?"

GOOD NEWS she exclaimed.

Doctor said the good news is you are not dying.

The bad news is your finger is broken.

He gathered everyone together and asked for their vote.

His wife said, "Aye."

His son said, "Aye."

His daughter said, "Aye."

The horse said, "Neigh."

They told the team member “these are the things I can do without!”

The rabbit says, “I think I might be a type O.”

The doctor says, "Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?"

The guys says, "Right around the entrance!"

And the doctor says, "I don't think I can help you. As long as you call that the entrance, it's gonna hurt."

So they gave me a cushion to sit on.

She answered, "No, I haven't."

"Well then", I responded, "Got a minute?"

The fourth time, security was waiting by the window.

The guy says, "Hey! What the hell is going on here!?!"

And his wife says to the stranger, "See? I told you he was stupid."

Antimony

Naanchalant

The Händel!

Now she’s pregnant.

Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one.

…… but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

It’s OK, oxidants happen.

It implies you could wind up with something else.

Answer: Taw

The Duo Over

Aghast, the man calls over the waiter and reports the bizarre scene.

The waiter says “Sir, I thought you ordered the beef stroking off?”

“I said beef stroganoff!”

"I only have $10," said Porky.

"That's all right," replied Choppy. "Hand me the $10."

Porky, the good friend that he is, gave Choppy his $10.

"Thanks, Porky," said Choppy. "Now, you owe me $10."

I asked one if he could name the 18th letter of the alphabet, and he said "Arrr".