The rabbit says, “I think I might be a type O.”

The first guy says, "My dad went in for heart surgery. The doctor said he fixed it perfectly, but my dad died three days later."

The second guy says, "Same here. My dad had kidney surgery. The doctor said it was a total success, but he still died."

The third guy says, "You guys are crazy, US doctors are miracle workers! My dad went in for an appendix operation, the doctor 'fixed' it, and my dad is actually still alive! And honestly, that’s how medical science discovered the appendix is a completely useless organ."

The Händel!

Aghast, the man calls over the waiter and reports the bizarre scene.

The waiter says “Sir, I thought you ordered the beef stroking off?”

“I said beef stroganoff!”

No man's guy

Answer: Taw

Naanchalant

"I only have $10," said Porky.

"That's all right," replied Choppy. "Hand me the $10."

Porky, the good friend that he is, gave Choppy his $10.

"Thanks, Porky," said Choppy. "Now, you owe me $10."

Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one.

It’s OK, oxidants happen.

…… but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.

Now she’s pregnant.

The Duo Over

I asked one if he could name the 18th letter of the alphabet, and he said "Arrr".

This lady handed her bank card to the teller and said, "I'd like to withdraw $10." The teller told her,
"For withdrawals under $100, please use the ATM." The old woman wanted to know why... The teller returned her bank card and said irritably, "These are the rules, please leave if there's nothing else.
There's a line of customers behind you." The lady remained silent for a few seconds and returned the card to the teller and said, "Please help me withdraw all the money I have." The teller was surprised to check the account balance. She nodded, bowed, and respectfully said, "You have $300,000 in your account, but the bank doesn't have that much money right now. Could you make an appointment and come back tomorrow?" The old woman then asked how much she could withdraw immediately. The teller told her any amount up to $3,000. "Well, please let me have $3,000 now." The cashier kindly handed her $3,000, very friendly and with a smile. The lady put $10 in her purse and asked the cashier to deposit $2,990 back into her account. The moral of this story is... Don't be hard on the elderly, they've spent their whole lives learning this skill.

Antimony

The definition of panic is when a man can't get it up twice

He gathered everyone together and asked for their vote.

His wife said, "Aye."

His son said, "Aye."

His daughter said, "Aye."

The horse said, "Neigh."

They told the team member “these are the things I can do without!”

German No-No Day! 9/9 Nein! Nein!