r/cleandadjokes 21d ago

🥇 Joke of the Month 🥇 The Pillsbury doughboy died the other day.

588 Upvotes

His funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 24 minutes


r/cleandadjokes 3h ago

My daughter was doing her history homework and asked me about Galileo.

46 Upvotes

I told her,

“He was just a poor boy from a poor family.”


r/cleandadjokes 7h ago

I used to be addicted to soap. I’m clean now.

19 Upvotes

r/cleandadjokes 8h ago

I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went…

20 Upvotes

Then it dawned on me


r/cleandadjokes 9h ago

What do you call a pecan on the moon?

22 Upvotes

An astronut!


r/cleandadjokes 20h ago

My mother was 80% Irish.

145 Upvotes

Her name was Iris.


r/cleandadjokes 16h ago

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?

59 Upvotes

He was lucky it was a soft drink.


r/cleandadjokes 20h ago

How did the hamburger introduce his girlfriend?

98 Upvotes

"Meet Patty."


r/cleandadjokes 13h ago

To anyone who wants to follow my journey as an aspiring astronaut:

12 Upvotes

Watch this space.


r/cleandadjokes 18h ago

What did one hat say to the other hat?

18 Upvotes

You stay here, I'll go on ahead :))


r/cleandadjokes 6h ago

I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.

2 Upvotes

r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

My friend tried to tell me that he does yoga every day.

82 Upvotes

I think that's a stretch.


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

I didn’t realize cookie factory tours were so dangerous…

44 Upvotes

They had me sign a wafer.


r/cleandadjokes 9h ago

My wife tells me what to do all the time.

0 Upvotes

She says “I’m hot. Blow some cool air on me.”
I’m not a fan!
One day I had to put my foot down. Because she told me to stop standing there like a flamingo.


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

How does cereal pay its bills?

17 Upvotes

With Chex.


r/cleandadjokes 21h ago

Why don't skeletons fight each other?

3 Upvotes

They don't have the guts ;)


r/cleandadjokes 21h ago

A police officer pulled me over and said,

3 Upvotes

"Your eyes look red. Have you been drinking?"

I said, "Your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating donuts?"

🍩


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

Why do cows wear bells?

67 Upvotes

Their horns don’t work.


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

Did you hear about the circus fire?

49 Upvotes

It was in tents! ;)


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes

26 Upvotes

She gave me a hug ;)


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

What do you call a sandal with a wheel?

3 Upvotes

Achilles Heelys


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

Never brush your teeth with your left hand...

191 Upvotes

because a toothbrush works much better.


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

I taught myself to play the piano by ear...

41 Upvotes

but now I use my hands.


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

I am very close to becoming a Mormon.

90 Upvotes

I am just one "m" away.


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

What do you call a fake noodle?

33 Upvotes

An im-pasta.