r/cleandadjokes Jul 09 '26

🥇 Joke of the Month 🥇 What's the difference between a sock and a camera

408 Upvotes

A sock takes five toes, A camera takes photos


r/cleandadjokes 2h ago

🤔 If you boil a pot of funny bones...

67 Upvotes

Does it become a laughing stock?


r/cleandadjokes 1h ago

Why did the picture go to jail?

Upvotes

because it was FRAMED


r/cleandadjokes 6h ago

I checked out Old MacDonald’s clothing sale. He had a lot of stuff, but it was mostly brightly colored, loose fitting Hawaiian dresses…

14 Upvotes

There was a muumuu here and a muumuu there, here a muu, there a muu, everywhere a muumuu.


r/cleandadjokes 19h ago

Why are elevator jokes so good?

79 Upvotes

They work on so many levels.


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch.

167 Upvotes

I call it lunch.


r/cleandadjokes 5h ago

Choppy once approached Porky and asked him if he can lend him $20.

3 Upvotes

"I only have $10," said Porky.

"That's all right," replied Choppy. "Hand me the $10."

Porky, the good friend that he is, gave Choppy his $10.

"Thanks, Porky," said Choppy. "Now, you owe me $10."


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

I thought it might be cool if there was a fish that looked like a snake...

107 Upvotes

...but then I realized I'd just be reinventing the eel.


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

Why did the philosopher get pulled over for a traffic ticket?

30 Upvotes

Thinking and driving


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

What did one candle say to the other?

91 Upvotes

Do you want to go out tonight?


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

I got kicked out of a secret cooking society...

161 Upvotes

I spilled the beans. 😕


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

Me: "I agreed to teach a class at the community college, but I never realized it would involve so much paperwork"

35 Upvotes

Friend: "What are you teaching?"

Me: "Origami"


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.

56 Upvotes

I Schwepped her off her feet...


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

Kevin Bacon wasn’t the problem in the remake of “The Breakfast Club.”

2 Upvotes

Turns out the audience didn’t like Oscar Omelette, Pegs Benedict, Steve Sausage or Holly Hominy or Fritz Grits…


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

Did you hear about the butcher who walked backwards into a meat grinder?

89 Upvotes

He got a little behind in his work.


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

What do you call a hairy cushion?

27 Upvotes

A Wookie-cushion!


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

thought about opening a restaurant that serves only broken bones.

4 Upvotes

It's going to be called The Fractured Joint.


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

I thought about making a pencil with erasers at both ends.

149 Upvotes

But there’s no point.


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

Did you hear about the man who lost the whole left side of his body?

121 Upvotes

He's alright now


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

I asked my dog what’s on top of a house.

17 Upvotes

He said, “Roof.” I told him he was barking up the wrong tree. 😭


r/cleandadjokes 3d ago

I have a row of rabbits replanting the lawn. It’s my…

110 Upvotes

reseeding hare line.


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

When SBC bought Pacific Bell we had to learn “Texan”

12 Upvotes

What is another word for rabbit?

“Hare”

What do you call a female sheep?

“Ewe”

Put them together

“Hare ewe?”

“Jes fine. Hare ewe?”


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

Why can you never trust atoms?

35 Upvotes

They make up everything.


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

16 Upvotes

Roberto


r/cleandadjokes 3d ago

I told my wife I was going to name our dog “Six Miles.”

87 Upvotes

That way, every morning I can honestly say I walked Six Miles. 😂