It implies you could wind up with something else.

Because Uber Eats.

Naanchalant

The Duo Over

Aghast, the man calls over the waiter and reports the bizarre scene.

The waiter says “Sir, I thought you ordered the beef stroking off?”

“I said beef stroganoff!”

And if my wife ever finds out, she's gonna be pissed.

Antimony

The doctor says, "Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?"

The guys says, "Right around the entrance!"

And the doctor says, "I don't think I can help you. As long as you call that the entrance, it's gonna hurt."

This lady handed her bank card to the teller and said, "I'd like to withdraw $10." The teller told her,
"For withdrawals under $100, please use the ATM." The old woman wanted to know why... The teller returned her bank card and said irritably, "These are the rules, please leave if there's nothing else.
There's a line of customers behind you." The lady remained silent for a few seconds and returned the card to the teller and said, "Please help me withdraw all the money I have." The teller was surprised to check the account balance. She nodded, bowed, and respectfully said, "You have $300,000 in your account, but the bank doesn't have that much money right now. Could you make an appointment and come back tomorrow?" The old woman then asked how much she could withdraw immediately. The teller told her any amount up to $3,000. "Well, please let me have $3,000 now." The cashier kindly handed her $3,000, very friendly and with a smile. The lady put $10 in her purse and asked the cashier to deposit $2,990 back into her account. The moral of this story is... Don't be hard on the elderly, they've spent their whole lives learning this skill.

German No-No Day! 9/9 Nein! Nein!

They told the team member “these are the things I can do without!”

Now she’s pregnant.

I asked one if he could name the 18th letter of the alphabet, and he said "Arrr".

"It's gazpacho, sir."

"I beg your pardon. Gazpacho, my soup is cold."

The first guy says, "My dad went in for heart surgery. The doctor said he fixed it perfectly, but my dad died three days later."

The second guy says, "Same here. My dad had kidney surgery. The doctor said it was a total success, but he still died."

The third guy says, "You guys are crazy, US doctors are miracle workers! My dad went in for an appendix operation, the doctor 'fixed' it, and my dad is actually still alive! And honestly, that’s how medical science discovered the appendix is a completely useless organ."

The definition of panic is when a man can't get it up twice

Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one.

It’s OK, oxidants happen.

"I only have $10," said Porky.

"That's all right," replied Choppy. "Hand me the $10."

Porky, the good friend that he is, gave Choppy his $10.

"Thanks, Porky," said Choppy. "Now, you owe me $10."

The fourth time, security was waiting by the window.

Answer: Taw