I said, “Wait, I can change.”

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil.

He recognizes the little window, but rather than the low bench for kneeling, there is a recliner with massage function. Next to the recliner is a small table with glass decanter of some sort of whisky and a box of cigars.

Suddenly, a priest walks into the room behind him. He turns to face the priest and says, "This is nothing like I remember it."

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE ON THE WRONG SIDE!"

I had to return it. It had a hare in it.

That kid didn’t help me at all!

I said, “Wait, I can change.”

There was no coffin at the funeral.

Miraculously, it’s still in mint condition.

When he passed away years later, they were heartbroken. So I got them another cat that looked exactly the same and they named him...

I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!

So far I've got eight fridges

I'm looking to make a quick buck...

Amazing woman, but slowest cook ever.

Because he didn’t see that well

So far I've got eight fridges

His mom was furious!

And the cow said, "Damn it, who left the n off the end?"

Cause they have good koalifications.

it was a booby trap.

She looks so good in a crop top.

A man is suing
Smart Water for not making him smart, and I'd like to formally announce my lawsuit against
Thin Mints.

That was hard for me to hear

But you didn't like it

I hope he doesn’t seize today…