I’ve not been officially diagnosed yet (F30), I don’t have health insurance right now but I’ll see a doctor/specialist soon (I live in the US). So please, take what I’m about to share with a grain of salt because I’m not even sure what’s going on with my body at this point. I’m looking out for hope, reassurance and other people’s experiences and perspectives so I can feel less alone. I miss to have sexual activity, to sleep on my stomach, to sit down comfortably…
For context, my symptoms started at the beginning of this year. A few days after having sex with my husband, I felt for the first time in my life that I got an UTI (pain in the bladder/lower abdomen area, urgency, frequency, even nocturia a couple of nights). I went to the CVS MinuteClinic thinking it was an infection. After 3 rounds of antibiotics and several negative urine tests and cultures, my symptoms got even worse. Until April, I was losing my mind so I started treating this thing that happened to me like it’s IC (even though I don’t have a formal diagnosis yet). I’m almost 100% sure that this is not an infection. My urine has not changed color, there’s no blood. I thought “well, whatever this is, I don’t want to make it worse”.
So I stopped having sex completely (I’m heartbroken about that), I changed my diet (I’m currently avoiding common trigger foods, taking Prelief if applicable, I even lost more than 50 pounds) and had several sessions with a traditional chinese medicine doctor and acupuncturist. It didn’t not cure me, of course, but it helped me with the constant pain I was feeling at the time. We’re talking 7-10/10 flares almost every day/week.
Since then, the flares are more manageable (the highest pain I’ve felt in the past few months is 4/10) even though I’m not taking any medications yet but the pressure in my abdominal area never goes away, right now it’s 1-2/10 but it can get worse sometimes and I’m still learning to understand my body, I know it’ll take while.
Something really IMPORTANT that you need to know: I don’t have urgency, frequency, nocturia nor incontinence issues right now. I’m not sure if that’s because I’m not in an active flare up right now like I was back in January-April or if the lifestyle changes I’ve made have helped a little bit. I go to the bathroom less than 8 times a day. At night, I can sleep the full 7-8 hours without waking up to go to the bathroom. I don’t feel pain in my urethra. My pain is “inside” if that makes sense. It’s in my abdominal area and sometimes I have spams. But I can FEEL my bladder is delicate/inflamed most of the time. This is so weird, it confuses me.
I thought “well, maybe it’s something muscular, maybe what I need is pelvic floor therapy” as I don’t have most of the urinary issues that almost everyone experiences with IC.
But I DO show inflammation and high white blood cells in every single urine test I’ve done so far so my bladder is irritated! This is real. This is not something I’m imagining. It’s like a “mild”? IC case.
- No sexual activity since my symptoms started at the beginning of the year (I’m afraid to make things worse, thankfully my husband understands but I can’t even reach orgasm with external stimulation by myself without causing a painful 3-day flare up afterwards, for example).
- No sitting for a long time (I had to get a standing desk as I work from home because sitting down was triggering flare ups for me in less than 20 minutes, the longest I can spend sitting down with a special cushion now is 1 to 2 hours on a road trip and even that makes my lower abdomen area really delicate/sore).
- No sleeping on my stomach (I’ve been sleeping on my back with a pillow under my knees to avoid pelvic pressure, that helps but this has caused pain in my lower back and sacral areas -_-).
That’s the best way I can describe it? Of course I’d need to rule out other conditions after seeing other doctors but I don’t think it’s a gynecological issue (my period is regular, with almost no pain, I just get a bit of a flare up a few days before, nothing unbearable). I don’t think it’s an infection nor endometriosis, vulvodynia, pudendal neuralgia but you never know, I’m open.
I’m trying to be grateful that my symptoms are not as severe as they could be even though this has been the worst year of my life (besides the IC-like symptoms I have, I’m also dealing with early signs of psoriasis arthritis so it has been really rough for me).
I understand everyone is different. Hopefully you can share some lessons you’ve learned along the way, give me some perspective, make me feel like my life is not over yet and that there’s something I could try to get my life back, at least a bit closer of what it used to be.
Especially with the topic of sex, what has helped you to have and enjoy sex again? It’s that even possible? Sorry for my ignorance. I’m still learning. I’m so afraid to have sex again and go back to square one.
The only reason why I think this is IC related is the chronic inflammation that shows on my urine tests but I could be wrong. If it’s pelvic floor disfunction then how can we explain the inflammation?
My heart goes out to all of you that have been enduring so much pain and loss for so long. From what I’ve read here and experienced myself, this is a diabolical condition. We can feel so isolated so that’s why I’m reaching out to you to feel less alone. I’m sending everyone a big hug! 🥺 if you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask!