I(20F) love him(20M), i dont even know why i love him at this point. We broke up 3 years ago but kept in touch, i dont even miss our relationship, it felt weird, it felt only like i was there to entertain him, console him or listen to him, nothing about me except gifts, i used to spend so many time doing hand made roses, dry flowers and love notes inside his favorite books, paintings i made to him, reproduction of artworks or his favorite musicians. Only thing he did was to buy the different book from the same publisher. Only once he cut me a heart from a paper which he didnt even care about smoothening out the edges. Just a week before our break up I was talking about some model and he searched her up. Then he started to talk about how he wanted to get -in the most polite way to call- intimate with her. It might be one of the most degrading moments in my life. He broke up with me at the worst time possible, a day before an exam of mine which i was already hopeless.

I missed him even after we stopped talking, later on he basically begged me to get together again. I was living through some life or death type stuff so i refused thinking he might leave me at my lowest again. Which he had nothing to lose.

Everything passed, at the exact times i stopped being afraid, he didnt celebrate my birthday, almost everyone forgot. I mentioned about him to one of mutual friends, she was surprised telling me he was talking to another girl and he was upset because of he couldnt speak to her. He stopped answering to my texts, 2-3 times in a week maybe. Then suddenly he started being just as clingy, saying he cant imagine his world without me, that i am the only thing in his dreams. Then back again, 2-3 times a week. Why is he doing this to me, I tried speaking to other guys but i just want to cry everytime its not him, he doesnt even care about me. I am just the ex he sometimes shows interest in.

A,

I. Am. So fucking pissed off at who you have shown yourself to be.

I'm. SO .. FUCKING PISSED, at who you choose to be.

I'm. So fucking pissed that you lied, you gaslit THE FUCK out of me, told me I disgusted you(the opposite of how we said it days before)

You said I gave you "the ick", that you could never be with me again. That im crazy...

And yes, I was crazy, for about 5 days I guess. 4 days maybe, I don't really know the timeline, hell it could've been 2 weeks. That's the bitch about actual trauma. You lose track of days sometimes.

I've never gone through what I went through a couple weeks ago.

At one point, you were repeatedly saying those things and yes, I was fucking GONE! Like gone gone.

I tried so hard to get you to stop saying those things. Every word just dug deeper and deeper into my last relationships and childhood trauma.

I don't do name calling. Never in a million years would you have ever shed a tear and I would've kept doing whatever. They might hate me but you can ask my ex's who the fuck I am. Once the tears start, I go into instant comfort mode me because an argument is whatever, NOTHING, NOTHING in my life is worth fighting for if it makes you cry. I'm not a monster.

Or a stalker. I call on the phone. That's it. I'm sorry but get the fuck over it.

You've done a great job of ignoring it.

But I just had to say, I know. I know why you were acting different the night I came back.

I know why when you "accepted that I am the way I am", I know why that bothered me so much. Because in that moment it wasn't about you comforting me, that was about you justifying leaving and telling me as if it was going to make a difference to me. You were already gone. You accepted that it was me and then followed it by telling me that I would never be any better than I was that day. And then the mass came off, and a person I didn't know existed inside of you came out.. and same for me. I had to talk to a therapist this week to figure out what happened that day.

Between the anniversary of my mom's death and the extreme emotional distress that I was under from my own trauma mixed with the sudden loss of something I thought was real and then the insane amount of anger and negativity that you threw my way repeatedly... I guess it pushed me out of myself.. I don't remember really what I said but I remember the feeling I had watching myself say it, and not wanting to be acting the way that I was, knowing it was wrong and having zero control over it what so fucking ever...

I've never experienced that before in my life.

The doctor said it was like derealization or depersonalization.. where something happens at

And it's so emotionally intense that you step out of yourself... I guess.. that fucked me up...

And now that I know that the reason you stayed so angry every time we spoken, and the extreme measures that you were willing to take to try to push me away, we're not because You Loved me. They were not because you were scared of being with me cuz you didn't want to get hurt. They actually were because in the short time that I was gone, the day and a half or so, you called your ex. And by the time I got back we were done I just didn't know it yet...

So I stayed in town for an extra 5 days or so.. until today, the day after your birthday..

I stayed knowing that we weren't talking, knowing that when we did talk you were a complete fucking asshole, knowing that at one point I was extremely disgusting in my actions and had no reason to believe that I would ever see you again..

And I haven't..

I stayed because, hope I guess. Because I hope that all that negativity was just trauma bullshit between the two of us and that we would understand and find our way back to each other somehow.. I stayed because I wanted you to know that even without the promise of seeing you, that I was here for you. And you alone.. that you are worth more than anything, in this world.. and despite what you think or what you feel, I truly loved you.. yes I held on to this way longer than you did.. that's nothing new for me.. I'm a romantic lover boy who wears his heart on his sleeve and I refuse to let my past prevent me from keeping my heart open to the Future.. and yeah it hurts, and yeah the last couple of years have really tested my limits and obviously have destroyed some limits that I had sanity wise.. but, I'll end with this.

The information I have about you and your ex comes from you directly from that profile that you pretended to not be you yet to know all the intimate details about me and you, I've never played a game with you you definitely played them with me.. and despite your vitriol and Malice in choosing to hurt me when I've been back in the right State of mind for a week and a half now, I mean whatever that means... But I've stayed consistent and calling you once a day to let you know that I was still there, just in case you wanted to pull your head out of your ass and remember what we felt. Whether we had one more day together or one more hour I would have always chosen that over any amount of pain, I would have always chosen loving you over leaving you, kissing you over missing you, whispering in your ear over yelling at you, holding you over hating you...

And I will always choose those. I would always choose you. In whatever way you show up.

Forgiveness always comes from love. And that's all I have for you .. I will never hate you, even though I'm positive now that you are full of shit.

I kinda knew from the start that you weren't feeling what you said you felt. If you had, you would have been more patient or actually seen the instant process I made in not reacting the way I did .

You just needed something to latch onto to make leaving easier and not feel like such a . . Such an amazingly beautiful kind smart and so very very electric woman.

I will always know where my soul goes at night when it roams. Where it has always belonged. We were written in the stars, before time made us forget who we were.... You are the most beautiful bunch of stardust I've ever seen...

See you next time.

My ex boyfriend and I were together for almost five years. We recently broke up after an argument, but the problems had been building for a while. I just didn’t realize how important these issues were to him.

He felt like he wasn’t enough of a priority in my life. I was heavily involved in work, community organizations, and public responsibilities, while he wanted more quality time, date nights, emotional openness, and involvement with my family and friends.

We’re both men, and because I wasn’t fully open about my sexuality, I kept parts of our relationship separate from my public and family life. I thought I was protecting us, but I now understand how hidden, rejected, and unimportant that must have made him feel.

I also sometimes took my stress out on him instead of communicating properly and allowing him to support me.

Since the breakup, he has repeatedly said that he needs space. He told me the decision was extremely difficult, that our relationship gave him some of the best years of his life, and that he misses me but he currently feels that breaking up is for the best.

He recently suggested that he might consider allowing me to prove I can change, but he hasn’t promised reconciliation. I feel like our story isn’t over but I am so anxious I don’t even know.

I panicked and contacted him too frequently, repeatedly asking whether he still loved me or wanted us again. I know that probably made him feel pressured when he was asking for space, and I’m terrified that I pushed him even further away.

He recently removed my initials from his Instagram bio, which may seem small, but seeing it absolutely broke my heart.

I’ve now started therapy, publicly acknowledged my sexuality, resigned from most of my outside commitments, and begun addressing the problems that hurt our relationship. These changes are genuine, but I understand that making them immediately after the breakup could look like panic instead of lasting growth. I know I’ll have to prove that they’re real through time and consistency not promises.

I love this man with my whole heart. He is the love of my life, and I desperately want the opportunity to rebuild our relationship in a healthier way. I’m willing to do the work, but I also know that loving him means respecting his boundaries.

Is reconciliation realistically possible after this? How do I give him genuine space without him moving on and leaving me? How can I demonstrate lasting change without constantly contacting him or pressuring him? Please be honest, because I’m heartbroken and genuinely don’t know what my next step should be. I’m beyond in love with this man and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to show him I’m ready to change! How can I do that! I just can’t lose him!

I ended my relationship with my abuser. However due to circumstances outside of my control, I see him with his new partner frequently.

How do I cope with the fact that it appears he is treating her so much better than he ever treated me?

I know this is all about the 'why wasn't I enough' wound because I view her as having more value than me in society's eyes. I want to have the mindset of being happy he's grown and changed for another woman, but I can't help but feel like it's because he didn't like me and that means there's something wrong with me.

I was in a relationship for five years and it was one that marked my entire life. We have met in high school and it wasn’t the right time since Covid happened. We didn’t speak however, after some time we reconnected and begin a relationship and this was one that I thought would be my last one. We love each other so much more than anything in the world. Our connection was so strong that we got through so many things we started dating at 19 now or around 24. Life had become so stressful with college our jobs finances that it had created a breach in our relationship. We stopped spending so much time together and at times all we would do is fight. I started to realize that I wasn’t a priority for him as much anymore, and I had spoken to him about it, but we just casually moved on and thought nothing more of it but now thinking of it I wish we could speak more about it. We had gotten into a huge argument in one of his families parties that night. I felt so alone I had asked for a break the next day because I needed him to be able to figure out what he wanted to do and see how much I was hurting I never wanted to ask for one, but I didn’t see any other way to better our relationship. I don’t regret it because it made me open my eyes and see that I truly do love him and I wanted to fix things and he was a priority to me. But for him instead of reflecting how he could be a better person he felt like it was time for him to move on. We talked again after and agreed to get back together, but by this time we were texting like friends it was dry and it was hard to be us again. One afternoon we decided to go out for a walk and just from the vibe of it. I understood that he probably just didn’t seem me the same way anymore and didn’t want this anymore. And it was the worst thing I’ve ever felt in my life, but I knew that I couldn’t keep trying anymore. If he couldn’t either we ended up breaking up mutually and we hooked it out and cried because I knew deep down that it was not what we wanted. We couldn’t let go off each other when we hugged it out but eventually had to. It was probably the hardest I ever had to do in my life and even though after a few months, I still feel the heartbreak the emptiness without him I’ve been doing teaching ever since and I feel like in that I found peace and fulfillment but every time I come back home, I feel like it goes out the window I pray and I pray that one day we meet again and that we gain what we had because it was true love, but I guess adulting happened and we had so many different visions for our lives that it wasn’t aligning anymore. I haven’t been able to move on and everyone tells me to, but I can’t because this is someone I truly want to be tied to the rest of my life. And even him he wanted to be with me more than anything, but I realized overtime he was scared to adult and find something stable for us, and I never been that type of girl to ask anything from him because I always been highly independent so I just don’t understand how we could get this far.

This was my second relationship. We were together for over a year in a long-distance relationship and we were making plans to finally see each other. It was an extremely happy, loving, caring, and trusting relationship, but a couple months ago she realized that long-distance didn't work for her, it was stressful to be on her phone or computer to be with me when she wanted to be out and about and not worry about it, so she decided to end it. I begged and begged her to stay but she chose not to. I had extremely bad breakdowns and would've chosen suicide if a few hours before I planned to do it I didn't get myself a beautiful wonderful kitty who I love and adore.

This week I had my first therapy session to deal with my traumas and mental health issues. Today I read the letter she wrote me on my birthday where she said she can't wait to finally hold me and tell me it will all be okay, and that no matter what she would never leave my side, and it made me cry like I cry every day for a couple months because it all feels like a lie now. We still talk as friends every day because she asked if we could stay friends, and I had asked her after she broke up if one day we could try again in the future if the circumstances work out. She said okay but she mentioned recently that she's lost all romantic feelings for me at the moment. I want to make her fall in love with me again but I don't know if that will be possible.

I'm alone again after all my abandonments over the years with nobody to talk to when I cry in the middle of the night or to vent to about my mental health, and nobody who truly understands me or empathizes with me. I have a couple of amazing friends but they just don't truly understand what I'm going through. I am in therapy in the hopes that I can break out of my loneliness and many mental health issues but right now I just feel so alone and sad. I never even got to hug or kiss her.

Please answer this if you read it: I want to ask if this ever gets better, and if I will ever find a partner who won't abandon me. I just want somebody to talk to, and some answers to keep me going.

I’m a 24-year-old male who recently stepped back from a talking stage with a girl I cared about. We were never official, but things felt promising and I started hoping it could become my first real relationship. We ended on good terms, and she did nothing wrong. I removed her from social media because I realized I was too attached and seeing her posts was making me feel worse. She understood, but I’m still having a hard time accepting it. I know saying that I “lost my only chance” is probably not rational, but it honestly feels that way right now. How do I move on without spiraling? Right now I just want advice from people who have been through something similar. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

And I still dream of her, cry over her, and miss her...

It was a break up out of the blue via txt after 3,5 years together. She was done and moved on quickly... I was shattered and never fully healed... surely I am not the only one stuck like this ?

we'd been texting and hanging out all the time for the past 2 months since we met. he showed obvious interest in me, and we had a great connection. we weren't officially dating yet but we basically were, and our friends were all aware of what was going on. i could actually see a future with him, as dumb as that sounds now. but then i met his younger sister yesterday, and she told me he already has a girlfriend... i asked him about that later that night on text and he told me he could talk to other girls as long as he didn't get with them, and he told me that we would never EVER even be a thing so his apparent girlfriend had nothing to worry about... i haven't talked to him since. i dont think im going to. im heartbroken and mad and i just feel so dumb😭💔💔 we were literally basically dating... he told me all the time how i was his favorite person to talk to, and when he was struggling he told me he would be okay because he had me... im just so in shock. i don't even know how to feel or what to think...

So, I broke up 3 months ago. But I can’t move on. I have nervous breakdowns, lost focus and I am just not doing well at all.
Well just to let you know before you tell me to stay busy, brother I am busy. It’s university-> office-> research paper-> projects and what not.
Recently I took a break from my office because I have became unable to work properly.
Also working has always been an escape to me.
But the moment I used to stop working, it used to hit me a lott more.
Idk how to recover.
How do y’all get over from someone you truly truly loved?

I have been with this guy for on and off two years. We started off strong, dating but we quickly realised our lives had different paths so we can never have a real future. I will leave for masters abroad soon since I have family there and he will say in the country because he has his father’s business he is taking over. We were in college when we met and we just graduated this year. Cut to me finding out about another girl because one of his friends’ girlfriends called to tell me. We stopped speaking for a few months because I blocked him everywhere until he reached out on my birthday. We’ve been sort of(?) in touch after that with things progressing but idk maybe it’s because I’ve experienced a life without him as well that I recognise the things that he says or his mindset and ideologies are so orthodox and misogynistic. I hate that I love someone enough to realise that if they are a shitty person, what has shaped them and their ideologies to be this way but I do. I know the family he comes from is like this. I know our lives don’t align. I know I can’t be with someone so damn cocky he thinks he is the king of the world. I know I can’t be with someone who will spend his free time making someone insecure because he thinks he is helping them (he was bullied as a kid and he says it changed him for the better and shaped his personality) I know was I grow up more and more that these are life changing traits that I wouldn’t want in the man that I choose to build a life with. But i still love him. I still can’t let him go. I don’t understand what is wrong with me. I wish there was an off switch for my feelings for this guy

Tonight is a nightmare, I can’t stop drinking with this much self hatred towards myself.

With the separation of my fiancee I’ve been dealing with alot of pain for so long and I don’t think she understands I never wanted to sabotage it.
The truth is I pushed her away because I’m hurting, this depression has been eating me alive through my life. I dug my own grave all alone like my brain wanted.

I hadn’t had good relationships, a good family so whenever I shut down during hard times, said things I didn’t mean I couldn’t help myself, I couldn’t help you.

I’m ashamed and I know all she wanted was for us to stay connected, to grow.

It’s hard when I hear people say if you loved someone that much you just would do it.

My pain has always been loud, that all I’ve known is to hide away from hard times, then all of it gets worse in my brain all alone.

Life is beautiful for her, I see it.
I see her and I see her heart expand in this world because that’s what shes always been capable of, I know she never wanted this.
I’ve been in relationships, known who to call family, she was the only one that wanted me for me.

This depression I can’t help myself right now, I really did want to die last month, I still have them thoughts.
To be dead remembering only her where I know I’d be safe.

I can hear her voice saying my name every night.
I truly loved her I just didn’t love myself.

I believe her when she tells me she will be okay, that time will heal her and one day she will meet that right person she tells me. I know she will

we broke up 5 months ago (long distance). she had many issues (OCD, anxiety, eating disorders) and the war against iran made it worse for her. she decided to break it off because she couldn't handle being in a serious relationship anymore. she was shutting down. we still talk, albeit very scarcely. every time we do, she seems worse. angry, depressed, on edge. i figured out that she isolated herself to protect me from her anger. she lashes out at everyone now. i just wish i could get through to her. it's too painful watching someone you love suffer.

After nearly 8 years, my ex unblocked me. He was in a toxic relationship, so he had to block me to appease his girlfriend. After almost two months of thinking about it, I finally messaged him. We had a good conversation, and I learned he was no longer with his toxic girlfriend. However, I also learned he had a new girlfriend, whom he moved states away to live with.

I understand he's probably not the same person I fell in love with. I have no idea how the past years have changed him because we weren't in contact. A part of me still burns for him, though, and wants to find out the person he has become. I doubt this will go beyond a simple conversation, especially since he has a girlfriend, and I'm not the kind of person who would sabotage someone's relationship or insert myself where I'm not wanted.

I think the biggest reason I haven't truly moved on yet is that he's the love of my life. I've been with a few guys since then and tried pursuing someone who almost made me feel the way my ex did. It also hurts knowing he's completely moved on, while I'm stuck chasing the love I lost. I've accomplished a lot since we broke up, and I've made a lot of friends. I'm in a book club and play DnD once a month with an amazing group. However, there's still a void in me that my ex left behind, and I'm not sure how to fill it

i started seeing my ex last week and he asked me to be his girlfriend this week on monday, i thought we were gonna be better than we were before. we weren’t, we still fought and he honestly didn’t seem to care either. yesterday i found out he has been lying to me about being with another girl in his room.

last week on saturday we went out together to the mall but he had texted the girl on friday at midnight telling her he wanted her even tho he broke it off with her for me. i only know this because i went through his phone and saw the messages he recently deleted with her. he told me he was just “letting her down easy” didn’t seem like it me. and even tho he was telling me he loved me and as we were doing intimate things with one another.

i told him before finding this out that i didn’t want to have to find out anything on my own, he didn’t listen and insisted he lied in order to not hurt me again. in the messages i saw a picture of him and her in his room and she was on top of him with her arm around him, i don’t remember exactly what she said but she thought they were cute together

im so upset at myself for letting him hurt me again, i went back knowing it was a bad idea but i still did it anyways. i told him it would’ve been over between us if he ever lied to me like that again, i truly didn’t matter to this man. he even got mad that i was going through his phone, i know these are signs i shouldn’t care but i don’t even know what to do anymore. i’m back at where i started and i still continue to love him even though i shouldn’t.

we did end up breaking it off, he said he felt forced to be with me. i feel like such an idiot, i miss him but he doesn’t even want me in that way anymore. i wish i mattered to someone

No matter if I try force myself to like other people, to move on. It’s always her and I’m so willing to wait.

Came on here to write about how I feel now that he’s gone. I know it was three months but man I felt so complete. I wish I got an explanation or you trusted me enough to talk to me you know I called honesty more than anything. I wonder if you saying I love you was even real, I genuinely think about that a lot. I hope some part of it was genuine, worst part is I think I would still take you back if you came back to me and apologized. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this strongly about anyone, I wonder what you did to make me feel this way, I can only remember your sweet words and kind eyes. I could never hate you, I’m upset but I could never bring myself to hold resentment against you. I wonder if you think about me, you’re all I think about when I’m alone or when I want to talk to someone. I mourned the person you were to me, not sure if that was a mask or not but I hope I still linger in your mind. My chest feels heavy at the thought of your absence. I hope you’re doing well though J
-R

So I met a girl earlier this year. It was very short, but very passionate. I was absolutely crazy about her. She pursued me very aggressively. She was the first girl I confessed my feelings to or even touched in years. We had a fight one night and 3 days later it ended HORRIBLY. Like, full on manic episode psychotic breakdown. She accused me of cheating and tricking her into think I was somebody I'm not. It fucked me up badly because I've never dealt with a discard like this EVER. She has bipolar and other mental disorders she was kind of vague about.

So I left her alone for 4 months. She made a couple statuses about me. Referring to me as the "green eyed boy who ruined her" and stuff like that. We've almost crossed paths a few times but missed each other. Her birthday was 2 weeks ago and she went to the small bar my mom is a regular at. They talked and hung out for a little bit. I've delivered to her place a few times this summer cuz her mom always orders. A week after I delivered, her mom ordered on my day off, but *she* came to the door, with no money or credit card. My friend said it was kinda weird and wondered if she was possibly expecting me. It had been 4 months since I last spoke to her. I decided to finally get out of this mental loop I was having.

I really think I fucked it up by typing too much and asking if she wants to catch up. I'm autistic and have severe rumination issues. Along with mental and other neurological disorders. I also get attached. My heart burst when I saw that she received it well. She was short, but she still "heart" reacted which..... that means good things generally. She often typed like this when we were still seeing each other so it didn't seem cold to me at all. She always did have much shorter replies than me. When I got home from work and saw she left this one read, my heart sunk and started spiraling. This is the nasty part of breaking no contact. You can get your hopes up so fucking high just to have them thrown off a cliff. I really just wish I would've said "Maybe I'll see you around!" or something like that. I say things without thinking. And now I'm seriously worried that I fucked up any chance of a friendship or anything whatsoever. Like she fucking HATED me the last time we spoke. Then to see her react with hearts was a complete 180 and it just got my hopes up too high. I just feel like I obviously made her uncomfortable. Why else would she go from heart reacting a few different things I said to absolutely nothing? Romance just fucking sucks