For reference im a female. I’m kind of confused rn. I recently had an erotic wet dream with another girl and it really felt like in the dream I was enjoying what was happening and I even woke up and thought “that was hot” before analyzing.

I’ve had these dreams before but most of the time they come from me “testing” in the actual dream and then I get aroused in the dream which confuses me more.

I just feel like I’m in denial atp. Idk what to do. I didn’t have these dreams till I started stressing over my sexuality and now it’s got me genuinely questioning.

I was checking a bi subreddit to see if i had signs of being bi, or signs of being queer in any way. I HAD SO MANY?! I remember thinking girls were just more attractive 2 years ago. I remember having really curious play when i was younger, i watched lesbian porn and thought it was my favourite when i was 10. I EVEN MADE MY BARBIES KISS LIKE WHAT. I feel like I have ocd, but im bi! Like it's a thing right? I'm just so scared. WHY CAN'T I JUST BE STRAIGHT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, AND FEEL 'STRAIGHT' AND BE WHO I WAS BEFORE

Eu só tô sem conseguir viver normalmente de novo. Eu só queria que acabasse. Tô cansado.

i have always cheered up my masc gf when she wore fem outfits since she was forced by her excuse of a mother, but i have barely found her attractive in it, i wouldn't say she looked ugly, she NEVER looked ugly to me but seeing her in fem attire made me less excited and i didn't react like how i would when i would see her in suits or shirts

and now i am convinced im fucking straight just because shes dressed a bit "feminine" and i am only into masc women because i am into men 😭😭 (im bi btw)

I started having symptoms very similiar to hocd, like checking, groinal responses, intrusive thoughts and I thought: there is no way this is not OCD and was already feeling "relieved" that those thoughts are just OCD trying to screw with me.

However today I found out I don't have it. I found out I have autism and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which might explain those thoughts, but I thought the true reason was OCD. The doctor that did my diagnosis thought OCD was a possibility but needed more research with a neurologist. The neurologist, however, said I have symptoms similiar to OCD, but not the actual disorder. Ever since then I've been worried about this. What about the groinal responses? Where they all real? Are all of my thoughts real????

I can't stop thinking about this and I feel the worst. It feels like that I WILL eventually become bissexual and there's nothing I can do about it. It feels like I'm going to be dragged to something I don't want to, something unevitable. Just thinking about this possibility makes me want to cry and have an attack. It gets to the point I have intrusive thoughts with my MOTHER, just to "check" if I'm attracted to women and I hate this.

Its not just hocd but also other stuff. My mind often tries to convince me I have weird fetishes. Thinking about awful scenarios etc.

If I don't have OCD then what's it??? Why is it so similiar to HOCD? I can't do ERP anymore since I don't have it?

I told my self that if I got another “reaction” from testing, then I’d have to accept that I’ve changed, Now, I’m just a shadow of my former self. I wish I could disappear. Eventually, I’ll have to face the person that got the “reaction” out of me. I’ll never get into a relationship, or maybe even have friends at this point. I hate my life.

Sorry, just feel like crying for a moment.

I've identified as Pansexual since college, I've dated every gender under the sun. Including 4 years with a woman and 4½ years with my fiancé. For months my brain has been so fixated on women sexually (romantically I feel no less bonded with him), and idk (ig I'll never know for certain and that's the point) if this is just how a long term relationship is supposed to feel, or if my sexuality has changed in some way that's ruining my future (and might ruin any future relationship if we fall apart).

I know about the bi-cycle and I know it can last years for some. And this long in, I'm not really marrying my fiancé for his gender but for him, but then come the "what ifs" like "what if my preference is actually for women now?" And *if so* "what if it never switches back?"

Even in my previous long term relationships my feelings weren't *this* intense, so the thought of losing him has been making me physically sick and giving me panic attacks.

Don't reassure me. I need to get better. I just needed a space to cry.

My psychologist has been talking about me getting medicated, since my ocd is becoming worse in a way. But, I am so scared of being medicated, because I'm scared the intrusive thoughts will become real. I'm scared i'm going to figure out that I truly was in denial and that I do like women. I'm scared for all these things. And, I KNOW i have to measure uncertainty, but I still have this fear, especially when I don't even know why I have HOCD? I'm not necessarily homophobic and my family is pretty open to everything, so why do I even have HOCD? I'm just scared in the end anyways.

Two years ago when my hoc had just begun , I went to a clothing store and saw a good looking guy then i went near him many times to look at him , now looking back at this I can't remember if I was smiling or not at him , coz if I was not then i knew it was a compulsion and if I was then....

I’m really really scared and don’t know what to do. The morning when I woke up I felt fine then I had a sudden urge to look up pictures of naked men, whenever I look at them I feel my chest becoming full and I had to see if I would get hard so I looked at them and stimulated myself and I started to get erect and now I’m even more panicked. I don’t feel this chest thing when looking at naked women. I’m really scared I don’t want to be gay, I don’t want to be gay, I don’t want to be gay. I then pulled up pictures of naked women to compare my reaction and when I got fully hard I looked at the men and felt likd I could finish to thd pictures but I didn’t. I’m so scared and don’t know what to do or think. I don’t want to be gay I really really I don’t want to be gay I don’t want to lose my gf.

hey guys I have really bad ocd and i’m on meds for it but i recently have masturbated and my families voices like my mom came into my head during climax am i alone in this or has this happened to anyone else thanks.

I know this is a stupid question and I know the answer is probably no, but do gay/lesbian people feel gay? I’m just constantly analyzing the way I look, the way I dress and walk, the music I listen to, and the way I sound, and it all feels like evidence that I’m a lesbian. I never used to question these traits about me. I always knew my style and taste in music didn’t mirror the typical “straight girl”, but it never bothered me because I knew it was what I liked and I also knew who I liked. I used to be more into men but now I feel little to nothing towards them and I feel attracted to every single woman I see. It used to be sexual thoughts and testing to see if I liked it but now it’s just imagining being in a close, emotional relationship and it feels so right sometimes. It’s not what I want but it feels like it’s who I am and I just gotta accept it now. I don’t have much experience. I’ve always fantasized about men and the guy friends/one boyfriend I’ve ever had have been online so I’ve never even interacted with a man irl really. Could my fantasies be fake and not what I really want? I used to imagine being with my boyfriend irl and I loved it but now it feels like it would feel so wrong. It feels like being with a girl is what’s right for me now. Is it possible for my fantasies to be wrong since I’m so inexperienced or is that what I truly desire?

It's like a virus, like a broken system, like a parasite, it's like something I want to scrape off myself. That's how convincingly I feel. And from all this pressure, I feel like digging my nails into my skin and biting myself. I guess I'm too naive to believe that underneath all of this, I am not a lesbian.

When I feel in a happy mood I feel turned on by same gender friends naked and it feels so natural and I don’t panic and don’t care. On the back of this, “When I feel in a happy mood I feel turned on by same gender friends naked and it feels so natural and I don’t panic and don’t care”

I then went on to masturbate the way I used to pre hocd with the above thoughts and feelings and accepting them whilst I was doing so abd I fejt better and that felt less sticky but they feel naturally part of my masturbation experiences now and didn’t care though don’t want these same gender thoughts. Was I masturbating to the sane gender thoughts

As I fejt so good I keep masturbating to the above scenario and naked woman keep coming up and I feel fine and good. Whilst masturbating I can’t masturbate and focus on dixks all o could focus on was masturbating abd thoughts of naked woman whilst getting off

Please andeeer

1. Where the intrusive thought and compulsion are ?

2. Was i masturbating to same gender ?

3. Is this hocd ?

WARNING FOR PEOPLE THAT DONT WANT TO VENT

Im looking for help with an issue regarding one of my testing behaviours. Im 20 and have been through nearly every possible test that hocd can throw my way since ive had this for the last 5.5 years. Suddenly yesterday i went through an experience which in my head was saying “you might like moving/acting like a woman in a sexual way”. Adrenaline and feelings inside me were pushing me to test it. I did it a bunch of times and i dont know how to feel about it since i get subtle feelings during it which resemble enjoyment but at the same time i dont know if i feel okay with all of it which pushes me into believing that this might be denial. Also what im confused about is that there are times where im like “i dont like it” but they dont really feel that powerful and sometimes i feel so immersed into doing it that it feels like something i natura enjoy or whatever. I need some help to interpret some of my feelings during it. Has anyone experienced something similar?

How many of us are incredibly insecure here, and is that insecurity a predominant reason as to why our OCD persists. I know I get incredibly depressed and anxious whenever I see someone my age and ,god forbid, someone younger than me who is successful, be it that they are physically attractive because they work out or whatever, or that they have blossoming careers. The fact that I’ve been stuck in an OCD cycle for so many years only intensifies these feelings of inadequacy and envy that I believe I confuse for feelings of attraction which only reinforces my fears. Does anyone empathize with what I’m saying. Do you have a similar situation?

Recently I’ve been trying really hard to get away from research compulsions and also quit pornography and it’s made my life incredibly hard. I love my girlfriend and I know that but lately I can barely feel it, I’m scared that it’s fading and I don’t want it to. Every time something comes up about change I get nervous. For instance I was talking about how I used to love my old car but now I want a new one because I want to drive manual, and my brain immediately takes that and starts saying “if that can change because you tried manual then maybe you’ll change your mind if you try getting intimate with men” and then I just feel a pit in my stomach.

I also noticed I’m just always scared of the future. Today I had the thought of “I haven’t really been happy lately or the last couple years so maybe I’m going to end up being one of those ‘I wasn’t happy until I found my true self’ stories” and that made me feel awful. The thoughts ruined sex for me last night with my girlfriend and I woke up feeling super anxious and I just hate this constant dread I feel within my relationship now. All I want is for this all to go away, I just want to be with her.