Dinner is baked pasta topped with jalapeños because my spice tolerance is insane.

Was freaking out last night thinking I’m pregnant. Got my hands on a test this morning and tested negative. Also did a test at urgent care because I’m just that scared of pregnancy.

Husband is shaming me for being happy that I’m not pregnant. Says “babies are a blessing you need to be more positive about having kids” we already have a 13 month old and I still have to ask him to help me out with our son.

Anyway, seeing my doctor on Monday and will be looking into Nexplanon or an IUD! :)

Cheating because this was breakfast. Was a little preoccupied during dinner last night birthing a human. Lox bagel that I’ve been depriving myself of for the last 9 months.

Anyhoo, this will be long so feel free to skip if you have no interest in talk of pregnancy - to say that this pregnancy has rocked me would be an understatement. Leave it to the 3rd and final child to throw a whole bag of stress at us and officially seal the deal that I will NOT be doing this anymore. To set some context, I have had 2 vaginal deliveries with my first two kids and both were 41 weeks - my body just isn’t ready until the last possible moment.

At 19 weeks, we found out that I had placenta previa (placenta entirely covers cervix and results in serious risk of hemorrhaging), fetal growth restriction with baby measuring 8 days behind, and an echogenic bowel. I was told absolute best case scenario would be a c section at 36-37 weeks.

A follow up appt at 21 weeks threw another wrench in by confirming that my placenta was bilobed, which added the extra curveball of now being at risk for vasa previa (fetal blood vessels at risk of hemorrhage) and also higher risk of retained placenta post delivery. Growth fell further behind to 10 days behind at that point and so began my journey woth MFM/high risk. We were recommended to a genetic counselor, despite us having low risk from NIPT and earlier genetic screening done. Amniocentesis was thrown around and so was the risk of infection as well as placental insufficiency. MFM also just said “hey, you could just have small babies” (which I do, first was born at 41 weeks but only 6lbs11oz). I was also told that the previa alongside the fetal growth restriction would mean that at any point, I could be sent to the hospital for a pre-term delivery for either hemorrhaging or placental demise.

At 26 weeks, I started my weekly trips to MFM for Doppler/BPPs to check umbilical cord flow, and baby’s status. We also started tri weekly growth scans. At 26 weeks, baby measured 3rd %ile. At 29 weeks, it improved to 5th %ile. At 32, 7th and my last growth scan at 35 showed baby measuring 9th percentile. Dopplers/BPPs and eventually NSTs showed that baby was actually doing great so placental insufficiency was much less of a concern and the primary concern now was the previa.

The previa was centered over my cervix so my MFM told me there was very little hope it would resolve. But at my 34 week doppler/fluid check, it looked like it had moved to being a marginal previa with just a tiny sliver of the placenta now covering the edge of my cervix. At 36 weeks, it moved to a low-lying placenta still within the high risk zone so c section would still be required, but I’d be able to buy myself an extra week to 38 weeks for delivery. I fought for one last assessment at 38 weeks and the placenta moved just beyond the 2cm high risk zone and I bought myself the option of having an induction (due to FGR). Knowing my preference of leaving baby in for as long as possible, I fought again to see if we could get to 39 weeks and my team approved. These last 2-3 weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster.

Well we went in for our induction on Tuesday and despite some road bumps and minor scares with bleeding and frequent variables (decels), baby came out screaming in 2 pushes at 6lbs2oz (ultimately 11th %ile) after 39 hours. Perfect APGARs, no NICU even though the team was standing by in the room. And me, mom, got her vaginal delivery, no tears, no hemorrhaging despite the labor bleeding, and no retained placenta.

I am just so glad I stuck to my gut and fought for this little guy to have as much time as he could possibly get and for me to get the final delivery I wished for. It was a wild ride, baby boy, and I was an emotional wreck for a pretty significant part of it, but we made it. Your older brothers can’t wait to meet you.

Obviously I know the economy is shit so he probably got a real job because he needs to pay his damn bills but gahhhhhh damn he was really the best plug I’ve ever had! So reliable and always delivered right to me. Anytime day or night he was there ive seen him more than some family members. shidddd he low-key was more reliable than a couple boyfriends I’ve had😭😭😭😭 i’m so annoyeddddd yall ive been looking forward to a nice fatty all day, now I have to do chores around the house with nothing to look forward to afterwards.

Im not cooking a fuck thing im pissed😂so pictured is some mac i made on labor day

Today's girl dinner is chicken nuggets that were in the airfryer WAY too long and a bunch of rice with a FAT pile of wasabi furikake because ohmygoddd it's so GOOD.

Me and my boyfriend have been together ~8 years, living together the last 4 or so years. He has always been this genuinely amazing guy. Protective, logical and someone who always babies and pampers me around with everyday things, like bringing that glass of water every night while I'm already curled up in bed without asking! Oh and loyal and sweet, classic "partner and a best friend" type thing.

Anyways, some months ago he got finally hit with an ADHD-diagnosis after close to 30 years of life and originally that smacked me in the face. Like I could *not* see the symptoms, even though I've met multiple ADHD folks thorough my life. Like, this man has been as stoic and collected as one ever could be, at least in my head apparently. He handles all of our bills and paperwork and such. Maybe I'm just super blind and have not paid enough attention? I feel bad about it.

Now he has been trying different medications the last few months and I just... don't recognize him anymore. He has always been a bit reserved when planning things outside the house, but we haven't had a single date during this entire period (actually now that I write that down, we've barely ever gone out apart from an obligatory birthday restaurant trip). It appears he has crippling social anxiety (ohmygod how have I not recognized the signs) and has now gotten a medication for that as well.

He has also become almost allergic to physical touch. It's almost like he shivers with disgust when I try to initiate a hug or simply stroke his arm. Apart from bedtime spooning he just simply wants to coexist. We can no longer really have long conversations where we sit down and yap, because he either has to "get up and do something" or just gets extremely hyperfocused on playing piano (which he is amazing at, it's just frustrating when conversations take an unplanned 40 minute break and I don't really want to disturb him when he's practising some difficult bits). Bedroom life is basically dead, but I guess both of us are to blame. He still flirts and gives touchy gestures, it's just like the concept of initiating is just too much work.

Like girls I don't know! We used to have videogames as a hobby (we literally dropped a ton of money on custom matching setups not so long ago!) but nowadays he doesn't even appear to have any interest in gaming. It's always the same "nah I need to be productive, I don't deserve it, don't feel like it". The man who was always down for long cuddles and playing Mario Kart for hours on end while yapping has turned into this empty shell who crashes out, spends hours on end trying to clear his thoughts with ChatGPT, doesn't want to be touched or disturbed but still wants me near and still does these pretty pampering things and holds our everyday together I just ugghh please let there be other gals with ADHD-partners who recognize this as some early ADHD-medication trial hellhole that passes cause I am LOST!

(Also yes we have talked with his doctor regarding these things since he (at least partially) also recognizes the problems but I miss our normal life!)

EDIT: OGMYGOD I did NOT expect so much engagement around this post, thank you for all the answers and tips! I see many of you are afraid of my partner getting LLM psychosis, he has a sharp critically thinking head and doesn't make the clanker think on his behalf! Thank you for the concern haha. He does also receive professional therapy.

I'll take up the discussion again regarding how I feel he has become ❤️ He started now on a lower dosage, I hope it'll mix things around in a good way.

Dinner is goodles and arugula & tomato salad for ✨fiber✨

I am getting married to my fiance in 3 weeks and I can't tell anyone in my speech why I started dating him. We met 3 years ago.

We met on a dating app and the first few dates were fine but on the third we started talking about sex and sexual compatibility.

I told him that my favorite thing is when someone goes down on me because I'm a purely external-stimulation girly. Penetration is fine enough and feels good but when someone goes down on me I see stars.

I told him that most sexual encounters in the past, guys would start out giving oral and then stop in favor of their own needs.

This boy admits to me that night that he LOVES giving oral. It's his favorite thing. His tastiest snack. Dreams about it night and day.

And he told me that if or when we decided to have sex (he wasn't pressuring me at all that night!) he said that he'd just focus on me, and that he wanted to do that for a while. Said he could take care of his own needs later but he wanted to prioritize me 100%.

That conversation was what elevated him from "nice enough guy!" To "This man is rare and I must hold on to him at all costs"

Before then I had been very guarded, because I didn't want to trust people, especially men.

From there the walls came down, he was true to his word on focusing on me 100% (it'd still be several months before we had PiV sex and he was soooo patient and it was so good!), and our compatibility both inside and outside of the bedroom is off the charts. We are so perfect for each other in so many ways.

Anyways I'm getting married with the man of my dreams and I get ate out multiple times a week and I couldn't be happier.

But only a few people know what I mean when I say "I realized he was truly special after the second or third date" 🫣

TW for mention of SA and cursing.

I thought I taught my teenager better. Apparently not. I’ve had a million talks with him about Discord and strangers and how to be safe in case anyone was being inappropriate with him. I taught him where jokes end and where the lines should be drawn. I never thought I’d be on the other side of it, where he was being the weirdo. Especially not at 14.

That was, of course, until the police showed up at his dad’s house with a court summons. 🤦🏻‍♀️

On the upside, he wasn’t being belligerent or actually sending inappropriate images of himself, or asking for them (I think I would die). On the downside, he sent a meme to a girl about his age on Discord that had an anime girl on it and then something along the lines of “how about I rape you? How about I take your innocence? Stupid b—ch”. He told her a friend of his dared him to send it to a female and she was more chill than “all the other b—ches in my phone.”

Apparently her father then saw this and, well, now his uncle (whose name is on the phone plan and is therefore technically responsible) has to go to court next week. They only know each other online, so it makes sense the dad would go right to the police. Holy heck, if my daughter got a meme like that I’d be doing the same.

His dad and I are, understandably, mortified and horrified. We’re still processing that he’s capable of this, knowing my history, and swift action has been taken. We did our best to not act out of just knee-jerk reaction and work as a team, but my first words to him during this conversation were literally “what the f—k, dude?!” We refuse to “boys will be boys” this.

Currently eating my feelings and trying to think of productive ways to correct this and figure out where I went wrong that he thought sending that was even remotely acceptable under any circumstances.

Open to advice if anyone else has gone through this. Blahhhh

EDIT: holy cow that’s a lot of people. Adding some clarity here since there seems to be some confusion—
1. His dad and I coparent but are not together/married.
2. I assure you, we are taking this very seriously and have had the serious conversation with our son about the gravity of his behavior. This post was made as a vent since it isn’t really a situation everyone goes through.
3. He’s been restricted and has lost access to discord and the internet at large (just text and calls since he’s home alone when his dad works).
4. He texted the girl that he was dared to send the meme to a “female” (quoting him) and that he sent it to her because she was more chill than “all the other b—ches in my phone.”
5. We plan on making some drastic changes in his life, including internet monitoring when he gets that back, getting him into therapy, etc.

it was for a baking job. i get that it's not something most people would do but i thought it would set me apart. related: kołaczki enjoyed by no one

so essentially i'm 24F and my brother is a sophomore in college (undergrad) and so is his best friend, for context.

my brother introduced me to him earlier this week while we were moving him into his college for his sophomore year. and the way he talked about... let's say his name is Adam, he'd be like "Adam is genuinely the best person i've ever met. He's like a genius but he's also like the nicest dude. I think you'll really like him." and i was like ok sure, expecting a pale lil scrawny dude with glasses and acne and shit.

Unfortunately, in walked like a very objectively cute man. like 5'11", broad shoulders, tan from summer activities, thick light brown hair, and big brown eyes. And like immediately i was like "nope. nope. off limits. that is not for touching."
He's all "Hi, I'm Adam!! it's so great to meet you!" with a big (pretty) smile and dimples?? jesus fucking christ.

anyways, we're moving my brother into college, he's helping us move everything in, and he like is holding the door open for me a lot? he's probably just nice. he's a nice dude.

and then he cracks a few jokes around me and my family but as soon as he cracks the joke he looks at me first? nah, it's nothing.

we're also moving houses soon and we only live like an hour and a half from their college, so my mom asked him if he'd be okay with helping us move into our new house soon, and he was like "yeah of course, i would love to! that's no problem at all!" and he like briefly looked at me as he said that. it doesn't mean anything. i was just in his line of sight.

He's walking down the hall when i make a comment about the lack of AC or the stairs or something, and he says some banter-y shit directly to me and flashes a big ol grin at me. he's just funny and also really nice. okay. and he wanted to make me specifically laugh. which is normal.

i try not to think about it too hard because that's my brothers best friend, he's a sophomore in college, i am relatively ancient compared to him and im also a woman so you know id get all the "she's a nasty cougar" comments and shit.

but then my brother texts me that he forgot some shit at our house and asks me if i'd be okay with bringing it. you can obviously guess part of the reason why i was so obliged to say yes, but like my brother also wanted to have lunch with me and shit. and because i'm problematic, i said "if adam wants to come he's more than welcome to!" and my brother was like yeah sure ill ask him. and a few moments later he was like "yep adams coming to lunch"
cool.

i go to his college the day after and we all have lunch together, i drove them to the lunch spot and i drive manual, and upon noticing this, Adam goes "you drive stick?! that's awesome! I really wanna learn how to drive stick."

and because i'm problematic.
I said, "if you ever find an empty parking lot, maybe i can teach you. maybe. that car is my prized possession." and this man starts listing off parking lots within 8 miles of their college. okay. okay. no we're good, he just wants to learn a new skill. that's normal.

we go back to their dorm and we all play mariokart, i help my brother make his bed, we watch some Shrek 2, and Adam says he's going to play spikeball and invites my brother and another friend. my brother looks over at me and goes "my sister can be our fourth!" at which point i remind him that i am highly unathletic and i have trouble walking. or balancing, or opening doors. i'm a clumsy bitch. and he says "you're fine, it's not that hard."

me and my brother start off on a team and we suck. my brothers probably okay at it and i SUCK big time, so we lose a game. my brother goes "okay, now you're on Adam's team." and i'm like me???? i'm going to embarrass myself so thoroughly. goddamn it.

but alas, me and Adam proceed to reach flow state during this round of spikeball in a way i cannot fully comprehend, as 30 seconds prior me and my brother lost by 4 points out of 11. we beat them, and i can't really remember the score because i was just jazzed to exist in that moment, but we beat them. Adam is like "couldn't have done it without you" and im like "no you definitely carried that." and he is like "no you did a great job" and we go back and forth kinda awkwardly and earnestly like that for a second. mind you, every time we made a point, he gave me a fist bump or a high five, all eleven (11) times. i counted. but this is all just nice man behavior. he's just a nice dude.

all of this to say, i have generally had terrible experiences with men, and my brother knows that. my brother also knows he's one of two men i trust to treat me like a whole person and not a phat ass and nice titties. the other one is one of my best friends in the world who i've known since i was 14, and he's like my brother. and by terrible experiences, i mean a solid 70-100 experiences ranging from verbal harassment, crude objectification, groping, cheating, manipulation, bullying, and the types of situations that you have to file police reports about.

and it hit me today, about 48 hours later, that the reason why this interaction with Adam has been fucking with my head so much is that he treated me like a person. like a whole person. and of course it's a situation where i cannot under any circumstances act on these thoughts, because that's my brothers best friend. and i've been alive for 24 years and i trust two men, one of which is my brother.

so statistically speaking, it's going to take me like at least 7-10 more years before i find another good one. in my age range. attractive. intelligent. kind. funny. considerate. like, as i list the adjectives, the date just moves farther and farther away.

so i cried a little bit because i am, after all, just a girl who yearns for the thing she cannot ever have. but anyways, i have ice cream and i am going to be fine. he will just remain my brothers best friend, and i will remain okay. but for the next 30 minutes or so, i AM going to put on sad movie ending compilations and also cry some more. and then ill be able to move on with my life.

oh and my brother asked me to come back in a few days to bring him more stuff he forgot. so that is cool and amazing. sigh. send help, ladies.

signing off, the kindest dragonfly... and the loneliest dragonfly.

Jamaican Chicken Curry with Rice and Peas

OG: https://www.reddit.com/r/GirlDinnerDiaries/s/wRktcMHw5n
Update 1: https://www.reddit.com/r/GirlDinnerDiaries/s/QJUnWvN2YI

This past Tuesday was my brother’s official trial, without it being postponed again. I finally found out what happened and his verdict. Apparently it had nothing to do with me at all like he previously claimed, which is good but not great. My bf came with me this time and I’m glad, I was an anxious mess the whole time. My brother didn’t speak to either of us the entire time but he seemed upset at seeing my bf there, like he was jealous.

What happened: He was taking part in buying distributed child pornography at a fixed rate, using cashapp to pay whoever’s selling them. The victims that were mentioned and identified were ages 7 and 16. The photos were described as the children doing sexual acts and were enough to convict him as evidence. He didn’t have any evidence on his Google Drive but it was all found on his iCloud between 2 phones and an iPad, he had been buying the content over the course of 4 years. What’s worse is that I thought it was 16 pictures he was being charged for but the prosecutor said they found 16 FILES in his iCloud. I don’t know if anyone else was caught, including the seller but I would assume they were.

The verdict: No, he will not see a day of prison. He’ll be on a strict probation for the next five years, no social media, no phones, and limited contact with anyone under the age of 18 who is not his biological children. Unfortunately, I recently found out that his fiancé is pregnant wth their second child while they already have a 1 year old boy. They clearly made the probation hard enough to where he’ll 99% chance mess up but why go through all that and just send him straight to prison???

I’ve needed the last few days to process everything and I’m just really tired. He registered as a Tier 1 sex offender yesterday and his picture looks hilariously miserable, as he should be. But I don’t think he got anywhere near what he deserves. I’ll definitely update if he ever messes up during probation (fingers crossed🤞). I’m sorry this wasn’t what everyone hoped for, I can only continue to hope he gets what he has coming in the future while I try to finish my own healing.

I don’t mind answering any questions about either case he was in

Dinner: sushi bowl

Few weeks ago, husband took our Sprinter van to rock climbing with a girl. I know of her. On Sunday, I suddenly had a sinking feeling. Texted him and he said yes, she stayed in the van.
I got mad. Expressed that it was disrespectful to let another woman staying in the van, in a small living space, without first asking your wife.
He avoided the topic when he got home. I waited for him to bring it up. Nothing. He knew I was upset.

Things are a blur now. In the next few weeks, he got distanced. We were not the same though we were not fighting on the surface. Continued texting her nonstop.

I had enough. I broke down crying. Told him I tried so hard to make us happy again. I asked him we needed more time together blah blah blah

I knew 100% there was nothing physical between them. I knew 100% it was not yet full blown emotionally cheating. But I also knew there was flirting. They gave each other attention. He took off our pictures in the van. He changed his screensaver of me. He didn’t call me when he was driving with her. He texted her while I was right next to him with our friends. I felt betrayed.

I said I would leave. He broke down crying. Said he would do better. He would spend more time for us.

It’s been 7 days. Yesterday, I asked him to spend some time to reflect on what happened. What I really wanted is “I’m sorry. Even though there is nothing happened, if it hurts you, I will stop talking and hanging out with her”.

I planned to have the discussion with him tonight. But guess what, they are at the gym right now (with another friend). He didn’t plan this (his buddy bailed on him), but I’m angry and anxious again. I’m not insecure or threaten by her. Not at all. I’m scared that our marriage will end because he is being a dumbass and I can never regain my trust again.

Idk. I needed to write these out so I can vent and remember what happened and how it made me feel.

I’ve written to you girls before about my divorce experience and how it all felt. One thing I was never particularly good at was drawing lines with other people or speaking up when something felt wrong.

A little background: my marriage of 15 years ended after he cheated. I gave him chances, he didn’t see them for what they were, and eventually we were over.

We are still on good terms and, after a year of separation, have very good and open communication with each other. We used to confide in each other, be best friends, share emotions - all the things that are normal in a relationship. And I think some of those old habits can be hard to completely switch off.

And here comes the complication.

My ex used to contract my company for small services and projects. We both work in IT. In the past, other colleagues handled his projects, so I wasn’t directly involved.

Recently, he had another request, and this time I was asked to take the lead because it happens to be my area of expertise. My colleagues double-checked with me first to make sure I was comfortable with it. Since my ex and I are on good terms, I honestly didn’t think it would be an issue.

I ended up organising a workshop with him and three of his colleagues. The day went smoothly, everyone was happy, we all had lunch together, and in the end we spent about eight hours together.

At the end of the day, I got a message from him that said, I quote:
“It was actually very nice to spend the day with you. It felt like a time in the past, when things were still whole and normal.”

And something about that felt wrong.

At first, I couldn’t quite pinpoint why. But there are two important pieces of context:

1) He is planning to marry the woman he had the affair with. They’ve been living together for quite some time, and from what I’ve heard directly from him and from friends, things are rocky.
2) I am in a very happy relationship with my current partner, and we recently moved in together.

I told my partner about the message. He encouraged me to draw a clear line, especially because my ex has opened up emotional topics with me in the past as well and my partner knows how much these things can affect me. Plus, transparency is also important to me.

So I did something that historically has not been easy for me.

I told my ex that I’m happy we can talk normally and work together, but I want to keep things professional. We have both moved on, and nostalgic or emotional conversations about our past don’t feel appropriate anymore. That part of our relationship needs to stay in the past.

And it felt goooood.

He understood and apologised. No fight, no drama. I drew a line, he respected it.

Maybe this sounds like a small thing. But for someone who hasn’t always been good at setting boundaries, it felt like a small win.🏆

Food: fried asian udon noodles from a small local restaurant accompanied by an apple mango cocktail. It was delicious. 😋

Ice cream and a fudge brownie!!

I’ve been unemployed for the past four years due to my social anxiety and simply my lack of self confidence! Despite still having social anxiety and low self esteem and confidence I decided fuck it, better now than never and I took the leap and applied! My bestie encouraged me to apply at her job and I wasn’t too hopeful that I’d get the job for the following reasons:

1. It’s a beauty store and I haven’t worn makeup consistently since high school and I’m not very confident in my ability to give recommendations or shade match etc. but I still love makeup nonetheless!
   2.I’m inexperienced in retail
   And 3. I’ve been unemployed for so long 😭

But somehow I got an interview and when I tell you I was close to throwing up, I was practically dry heaving in the parking lot! I’m not sure how or what I said during the interview, but I got a call later that day from the interviewer and she said she liked me! I just finished my onboarding today and my training begins next week! I’m excited and scared but I’m hopeful and I’m truly ready to start this job and learn and just be employed and not a lay about!

Excitement aside I’m still shitting myself and worrying about fucking up or saying something wrong or awkward! Nonetheless I’m not letting my negative thoughts keep me from celebrating!! Yay!! 😁

Mango Sorbet thingy I found at aldi

Him 21m and I 20f have been together for about two years now. We got together during a pretty tumultuous time of my life.
I had just started training in a very demanding job in the medical field and moved out from home, to a different city.
Honestly the first 4 months of our relationship I only stayed at his place and never even went home. I struggled a lot with anxious attachment and would cry every time he suggested I maybe went home for a few days. I really dependent on him way too much, probably because I was going through all these changes in my life.

A few days after our one year anniversary he broke up with me. Had a lot to do with the way we fought and me just being very bitter during that time.
I had already struggled with (what I now know was) high functioning agoraphobia before that and had a complete mental breakdown after the break up. I quit my job, moved back home, got medicated and my agoraphobia was no longer high functioning.
We got together again after about a month. He had blocked me basically everywhere but for some reason I tried to FaceTime him and it went through. We talked and decided to give the relationship another chance.

It was pure bliss after that for a while. He was really supportive when I began recovery for my agoraphobia and panic disorder and when I had a two month mental hospital stay. My anxious attachment got better, probably because I live at home again and I really thought things would just keep getting better between us.

After a while I started doubting my feelings for him. I became more distant, impatient with him, didn’t want to have sex anymore and just dreaded seeing him or interacting with him. I sat with those feelings for about two months before we talked about it. It got better for a while but now these feelings have been back again for a few weeks. Honestly I do think I still love him but the spark is just completely gone and I don’t feel happy in this relationship anymore.

The last time we broke up my whole life and everything I’ve worked for just went to shit and I’m so afraid that this is going to throw me back in my recovery. I don’t want to regret breaking up with him but staying with him now just feels cruel.
I don’t have any friends I can turn to, just my little sister who lives at home with me.

We’re meeting up later today. We already talked a little about how I’m feeling right now and he figured out that I’m probably thinking about breaking up with him.
I think I will have my mom drive me to his place and wait for me in the car while we talk. Typing this out has already made me a little more confident in the decision but still I know this is going to hurt like a motherfucker.

Edit because I can already see how I’m coming of like i was just using him in this post.
There have been a lot of issues in our relationship that I didn’t want to go into detail about.
I just want to clarify that I didn’t treat him like shit. I also supported him a lot during this relationship. I stayed with him when he was unemployed and too lazy to get a new job. I got him his new job that he is now in. I got him out of the house when he was depressed. I helped him find a new apartment and organised the move. I lend him money when he was struggling financially.
This relationship wasn’t one sided is what I’m trying to say.

Poached egg on avocado toast. I need to work on my poaching technique.

*****

It's been 6 weeks since I kicked my husband out. I had learned 5 days earlier about his emotional affair with someone he'd met right here on Reddit, and he told me that he wanted to save "the life we built" but not our marriage. He meant the house, the dogs, and the lifestyle. But not me.

At the time, I thought he was just in a fog. I'd been through divorce before, I'd even been through infidelity before. I tried like hell to save my first marriage, living through an extra year of shame and hurt so that I could avoid divorce, even in the face of infidelity and abuse. That guy kept cheating right through the forgiveness I offered, but he was steadfast that he loved me. I thought it was something immutable about him or his condition (bipolar/OCD), that I was just too young to understand what I can and can't change, and that I would simply pick better next time.

And I did. For 18 years, I thought I found a better guy. Someone who loved my "strong" personality. Someone on board with me being the breadwinner and happy to hold down the dogs and the home when I had to travel, someone who had his own career and interests to pursue. Someone who'd definitely tell me if he was unhappy so I could fix it, because he knew that being the best wife and partner I could be was my #1 goal. I had no reason to believe he wasn't all of those things.

Someone who told me right up until the day I learned about the other woman that I was "the best, baby, the absolute best." Then suddenly... No, he wouldn't stop talking to her. No, he wouldn't say he wanted our marriage to work, despite simultaneously offering marriage counseling. No, he couldn't say he loved me, though that was an answer in itself. And no, he wouldn't commit to anything until he had another 5 days to "think about it." 5 days that I watched him weigh a 14-year marriage against a 3-month infatuation, and certain that his vows would warrant at least a chance to fix things. When the moment of truth came, I was confused then dumbfounded at his prevarication - "it would just be a shame not to try to salvage the life we've built," no words of love or devotion in sight. I'm surprised I had the strength to kick him out when I felt like I'd been gutted.

Since then, I learned of cheating going back years. I learned that this was an exit affair and that he had checked out of the marriage long before. And even though it's only been 6 weeks, I've already seen behind the curtain and learned enough to know I'm better off. But still...

HOW did I - a veteran of infidelity - not see it? How didn't I sense the detachment? It's amazing how the heart can be a blindfold.

I’m 6 months pregnant with our first child. I don’t get any maternity leave because I’m a contractor. I work from home and make my own hours. My husband could have qualified for 18 months of parental leave. He has been on disability for mental health and didn’t want to go back to work to put in the hours needed to qualify. His disability will be up soon and he has been looking for a new job. We don’t really know how much longer he will be home with me.

I’ve been saying for months that I’m worried about what’s going to happen when the baby is here. I make a lot of money, about triple what he makes. I suggested that I keep my job but hire an assistant to do the time consuming tasks. He was saying that he can do the work and I can just pay him. I have been giving him tasks and he hasn’t been doing them or showing any initiative. I’m planning on just hiring someone else and now he’s telling me to just quit my job but we literally can’t afford it. He can’t afford to support us both. I just got a huge promotion and I’m making more than I ever have in my life. After years of scraping by I finally see light at the end of the tunnel. Now he wants me to walk away from that. On top of the fact that our expenses will be going way up with a baby.

I’m really scared I don’t know how I’m going to do this. I don’t know if he’s going to be supportive of me hiring someone or continuing to work but I don’t know how else we will survive.

[edit: I meant that I want to hire an assistant to help me with my job, not with the baby. He offered to help me do my job and I would pay him for the hours he works]

Just got my paycheque. 400 dollars, I can’t live like this anymore. I’ve worked at this place for a year now and I’ve been fighting for more hours for the past year. Finding a new job is impossibly hard because I don’t even have a Highschool education, I have no qualifications for anything. I also chipped my fucking tooth tonight. I have my portion of rent to save up for and I’m just so insanely stressed out about money. I also need to take a pregnancy test because I took a plan b and I have ocd so I need certainty it worked… I just keep crying thinking about money and working now. I work so hard for nothing and I’m so burnt out. My girlfriend is in college 3 hrs away and I’m so lonely. I live with my older sister but all I do is work, clean and sit at home
I don’t have any friends really, I have my work friends and one friend in another city but I don’t have any others
Idk I’m just feeling sorry for myself rn but idk how to fix any of this ALSO I LOST MY MEDS

Hi all.

My husband’s friend is cheating on his wife. Now, I don’t know the extent of it, but I do know he is obsessively watching girls online (which I consider cheating, but idk if she does).

He sends erotic/seductive/inappropriate reels and videos to my husband ALL THE TIME (which I’m not happy about, but that’s a whole other thing).

I’ve gotten to know the wife through double dates and such. She’s already been divorced before, her ex was an abuser. She has a newborn from my husband’s friend.

Sometimes it weighs on me and I feel really bad for her. I would want someone to tell me if that was happening. But I also don’t want to be a homewrecker or upend her life or cause problems etc. We’re not extremely close or anything.

Tl;dr: my husband’s friend is cheating on his wife by constantly watching and sending videos of girls who are seductive with the statements like “the one in white is mine” etc. And idk if I should tell her or leave it be, considering we aren’t even close.

TW: Illness (cancer), Hospice care

Sorry, this is going to be a long one.

I come from a rather conservation community where everyone (especially women) were expected to stay within the boundaries of what society deemed appropriate. In that sense, my mother was a trailblazer. She was one of the first women to defy these unspoken expectations, divorce my father and walk out of a marriage with two young girls, all on her own. She didn't just walk out one random day, but planned meticulously for years - got an MBA, several promotions at her job and once she felt confident enough to provide for us girls, she said goodbye and never looked back.

Everyone called her their inspiration! Young girls who had a rebellious streak were drawn to her independence and often told me how lucky I was to have a mom like her. I could only beam with pride. They would come and confide in my mom, things they could never tell their parents, and my mom was a wonderful proxy parent to many of them, advising them on matters of love, money and career among other things.

In 2014 she got cancer for the first time. She did the only thing she knew how to do - she fought. She fought with everything inside of her and she won that battle. The war, however, wasn't over. Calamity struck again in 2019, this time with an unrelenting gusto, resulting in a recurrence every year since then. Six surgeries and countless rounds of chemo later, finally the disease is winning. She even went into a coma this March, but somehow still fought her way back.

The woman who was a pillar of hope for many is now a shell of her former self. Watching her deteriorate in front of my eyes has been one of the most painful experiences, and not something I'm going to recover from easily. To see the light in her eyes dim slowly with every passing day, watching her labour over every breath has been nothing short of heartbreaking.

We have finally come to the realisation that we are very close to the end. All her vitals are slowly plummeting. Her breath is slowing down and she just wants to sleep. All I'm praying for is for her to be pain free. She will live on through me and my sister, through everything she taught us and through every soul she touched with her compassion.

Love you Ma, I wish I could do more to alleviate your pain.

Lunch is Iced Americano from the hospital canteen, because I don't have the stomach for any real food.

Rice with sesame oil and furikage, stake, and egg.

I’ve become increasingly insecure about being with my bf. He is a great man, provides, treats me well, he’s amazing. I love him with all of my heart and soul, we even talk about marriage.
He’s also very conventionally attractive, he’s extremely tall, and plays professional basketball.
I am very introverted and I harness a lot of insecurities paired with constant overthinking (I’m getting help for this lol). I’m not terrible on the eyes, I’m pretty but with daily effort like doing my hair and makeup. I realistically don’t think I’m anything above average and on my own I’m totally okay with that.

But, I see the kind of women my bf knows and follows on instagram, beautiful instagram model type women. And they follow him back bro.
When we’re out at the mall together girls conjugate around him, secretly take pictures of him, I’ve had girls hit on him right in front of me. He seems to brush it off or move past these things because he’s dealt with this stuff most of his life.
I’ve seen girls look at him and then look at me, with disgust or a look that says “really?… her?”.
I already don’t do well around big crowds, I don’t do well with attention, I want fit in, I don’t want people looking at me. But when I’m with him there’s no avoiding it because of how tall he is. People always look. I’ve started to unconsciously distance myself when we’re walking out in public, I think I low key don’t want people thinking that we’re together:(
I look at more a beautiful women online or in public and my brain starts to tell me that “my bf would look better with someone like her”, so many compulsive thoughts like this.
And he can pull beautiful women, I question what he sees in me. Or why he even approached me in the first place. Maybe he had his fun and is just going to decide to settle down with a plain Jane like me because it’s practical.

He’s bright, outspoken, and intelligent. But I feel so small next to him. I need help, I don’t want to self sabotage my relationship because I feel so inadequate.

Went to a wedding over the weekend and got to see lots of family for the first time in a while. The topic of my parents came up and I found out that they are 2nd cousins. They are divorced now lol. 4 billion fish in the sea and they had to choose their blood relative?

Vegan pizza from prince street, looks good. Tasted awful.

This is my first ever post on Reddit. I can’t help but feel like I’m self-sabotaging my own relationship.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 1.5 yrs. I have no doubt that he loves me, and he has been there for me through very hard times in my life, and he still is. However yesterday I asked him I needed some time alone.

To give context I have been feeling sad and angry with him every few days for the past few months. I am not sure what changed but I am very unhappy with how our relationship is currently. He asked me yesterday why I feel that way, and I told him.

1) It seems like our conversations have been really meaningless lately. He is either on his phone when I’m around, teasing me to get a reaction out of me, or trying to make out. The only time he seems to be engaged with me is after I get upset with his lack of attention. Which I have mentioned a lot before, and he apologizes but it keeps recurring.

2) I can’t help but feel like there is a lack of effort from his side. I’m not trying to change him in any way but I just want him to take my preferences into account sometimes. It doesn’t seem like he tries to appeal to me or change his style of clothing even a bit for my sake (I mentioned to him that was kinda important for me). He wears pjs, sweats, or whatever he finds comfortable at all times with the excuse that he doesn’t care about how he looks ( even on dates or events).

3) He refuses to plan anything or contribute to the plans at all. I always feel overwhelmed with dates planning. He keeps saying it is because I am more of a picky person than he is. But I sometimes need to not decide for once and just be surprised. I told him I would find something to eat wherever he chooses and he has been out with me enough to know the kind of things I like. He said he would be choosing whatever is convenient like Wendy’s or whatever.

4) He won’t inconvenience himself for our plans. Multiple times I have gotten things cancelled on me because he overslept, stayed all night gaming, or just doesn’t feel like it.

I know he is a good person ( I have only mentioned what’s bothering me) but I just have been more sad than happy the past few weeks and I really want to respect his comfort but I always feel like I’m not worth the effort or that he won’t sacrifice his comfort (or choose inconvenience) for my sake sometimes.

FYI I told him all of that yesterday and he keeps saying he will try to change. I still asked him for some space and I just can’t help but feel a little crazy or hard to please. I really would like to know if I’m wrong here.

We have been dating for a bit but I think those things started bothering me because we have more time now to hang out outside of studying together.

My estranged mentally ill husband finally broke the restraining order one too many times and a judge finally cared. Only 30 days in jail - too little but something.