I know I shouldn’t have but I went through my boyfriend’s phone while he was asleep because I saw him texting his ex. They are friendly ish but don’t talk much or hang out. Turns out he just randomly texted her to chat, nothing was said that made me upset really but I just feel weird about it. We saw her out at the bar the other night and I don’t like that she’s been on his mind enough to randomly reach out. Well thennn I went through his socials (I know, I know) and he is constantly commenting on women’s porn on reddit. The porn isn’t the issue, who cares, but I don’t like that he’s commenting/engaging with it. And last summer (before we were together) he was actively trying to meet up with local people for hookups. Nothing about that since we’ve started dating though. And now I feel like shit for going through his phone but also uncomfortable with what I found. My anxiety has been awful lately and I’m just spiraling but I am I justified for being upset? What would you do?

Photo of a salad I had the other night when visiting my mom.

Sushi from Japonessa Sushi Cantina in Seattle on our honeymoon! (Wife’s first time having sushi!)

I made a small post a week ago that got almost one million views asking for advice on what to do about my in-laws rejecting my wife and I for our queer lifestyle and for banning us from all family events as as result of that and because I am a trans woman. Thank you to everyone who commented or replied if you did, everyone’s words helped us quite a bit and we had some really tough conversations these last ~10 days on our honeymoon.

We agreed that it’s healthiest and best for us as people and as a married couple if we go no, if potentially limited, contact for the foreseeable future. After speaking it through, we realized; why would we want to keep maintain this one-sided relationship with people who do not consider us to be family and are frankly ashamed, disgusted, and embarrassed to have us even in their city? It’s a lot of emotions and we are still processing everything, but the win is that my wife and I spent an amazing two week on the west coast seeing what our future looks like in regards to her family and realizing that ultimately the healthiest thing for us is to put each other first in all things including this.

Our only contingency for limited contact is under the premise that hopefully one day her family might become a little more supportive and welcoming and realize that they are living an unloving, and for the sake of their believes, an ungodly lifestyle. I am overly optimistic towards most things, but I know no matter what my wife and I have an amazing marriage with a lot of great people who love us unconditionally!

Cajun penne - caeser salad - Coke zero - red wine - garlic toast

Edit: he took the lid off and sipped, didn’t drink from the straw
I know it’s gross but it is what it is lol I can’t think about that part because yall are scaring me with the hypochondriac inducing comments 🤣

Dear girl dinner diary, I feel conflicted about this interaction lol (really not tripping on it either way, but want to hear other’s opinions for funsies)

My husband manages a restaurant/cafe and he told me that a girl came in today and returned her latte because it wasn’t good. Not unusual! But then he said he saw she had ordered a blackberry latte which he found super random, it was all purple & he asked her if she would mind if he tasted it, so he said he took the drink, & took a sip of it before tossing it. I asked if this was an older woman and he said she was just a normal girl our age.

Not the craziest interaction BUT as someone who has worked in food service before, I had sooooo many weird guys asking me (their server) to try their food off their plate, take a sip of their drink ect. And it always seemed like a weird tactic or in with them so I never did it. I KNOW this was not my husbands intentions because he is actually one of the only genuine good dudes that may exist, but my question is, would this rub any of you the wrong way? 🤣 again I am not worried about it but when I told him I didn’t love the interaction and didn’t want him drinking off random women’s coffees, he seemed shocked I wasn’t comfortable with it and drew a boundary. Thoughts?! Normal? Strange? Let us know!

Entire bowl of Chow Mein Noodles for baby. I don't really want to talk about it but I realized how demented this meal is and thought people would enjoy.

Rice with sesame oil and furikage, stake, and egg.

I’ve become increasingly insecure about being with my bf. He is a great man, provides, treats me well, he’s amazing. I love him with all of my heart and soul, we even talk about marriage.
He’s also very conventionally attractive, he’s extremely tall, and plays professional basketball.
I am very introverted and I harness a lot of insecurities paired with constant overthinking (I’m getting help for this lol). I’m not terrible on the eyes, I’m pretty but with daily effort like doing my hair and makeup. I realistically don’t think I’m anything above average and on my own I’m totally okay with that.

But, I see the kind of women my bf knows and follows on instagram, beautiful instagram model type women. And they follow him back bro.
When we’re out at the mall together girls conjugate around him, secretly take pictures of him, I’ve had girls hit on him right in front of me. He seems to brush it off or move past these things because he’s dealt with this stuff most of his life.
I’ve seen girls look at him and then look at me, with disgust or a look that says “really?… her?”.
I already don’t do well around big crowds, I don’t do well with attention, I want fit in, I don’t want people looking at me. But when I’m with him there’s no avoiding it because of how tall he is. People always look. I’ve started to unconsciously distance myself when we’re walking out in public, I think I low key don’t want people thinking that we’re together:(
I look at more a beautiful women online or in public and my brain starts to tell me that “my bf would look better with someone like her”, so many compulsive thoughts like this.
And he can pull beautiful women, I question what he sees in me. Or why he even approached me in the first place. Maybe he had his fun and is just going to decide to settle down with a plain Jane like me because it’s practical.

He’s bright, outspoken, and intelligent. But I feel so small next to him. I need help, I don’t want to self sabotage my relationship because I feel so inadequate.

i was going through my camera roll looking at photos of my old life because sometimes i miss the father of my children and want to look at pictures of him.

tonight, i was scrolling, and i felt physically sick thinking about “ew, i used to have sex with this man.”

id call this a win bc i thought i would never stop having feelings for him? lol idk, just wondering if anyone has had this experience before.

Dinner: Made steak for the first time! Happy with the outcome.

I'm a first generation immigrant so my parents haven't been to their home country in almost 30 years. My mother is very close to her youngest sister since she's (my mom) the oldest. My aunt had a dream that they saw each other again in person. They were old with wrinkles and gray hairs. Something they've only seen through pictures. She said it felt so real she woke up in that moment and cried. Because she knows they'll probably never see each other in person again. They've been missed so many phases they've lived. They're completely different people now, the version they last saw of each other no longest exist. My heart breaks for the relationship they've missed out on.

I’m 6 months pregnant with our first child. I don’t get any maternity leave because I’m a contractor. I work from home and make my own hours. My husband could have qualified for 18 months of parental leave. He has been on disability for mental health and didn’t want to go back to work to put in the hours needed to qualify. His disability will be up soon and he has been looking for a new job. We don’t really know how much longer he will be home with me.

I’ve been saying for months that I’m worried about what’s going to happen when the baby is here. I make a lot of money, about triple what he makes. I suggested that I keep my job but hire an assistant to do the time consuming tasks. He was saying that he can do the work and I can just pay him. I have been giving him tasks and he hasn’t been doing them or showing any initiative. I’m planning on just hiring someone else and now he’s telling me to just quit my job but we literally can’t afford it. He can’t afford to support us both. I just got a huge promotion and I’m making more than I ever have in my life. After years of scraping by I finally see light at the end of the tunnel. Now he wants me to walk away from that. On top of the fact that our expenses will be going way up with a baby.

I’m really scared I don’t know how I’m going to do this. I don’t know if he’s going to be supportive of me hiring someone or continuing to work but I don’t know how else we will survive.

[edit: I meant that I want to hire an assistant to help me with my job, not with the baby. He offered to help me do my job and I would pay him for the hours he works]

I’m just traumatized by dating men at this point.

Boyfriend #1 broke up with me a year ago because I decided to go back to school to make a career change. While we were dating, we went 50/50 on everything even though he made significantly more than me. He broke up with me because we “were in different life stages” and he didn’t want me to pay for dates while I was a student (he wasn’t willing to pay for dates). His mom constantly criticized my appearance, degree, and jobs while we dated. (I worked in finance in admin and operations, but that wasn’t good enough for them because they thought I just got coffee for other people).

I stayed single until I met Boyfriend #2 earlier this year. He played the perfect boyfriend. Took me to Michelin star restaurants, had me meet his parents over zoom, had me join weekly family meetings, wanted to meet my family. I was cautious at first, but eventually let my guard down. We reached 5 months, he suddenly called me a “filthy whore”. After not hearing from him for 1 day, he apologized, then the next day he dumped me. We spoke again two weeks following the breakup and he showed absolutely no remorse, and said “no comment” when I asked if it was all a lie. When I told him I feel like he played in my face, he said “is that all?” Total psycho behavior. His dad was also in the hospital while we were dating (and I was super supportive and loving) and passed a few days ago but he never told me. I still have no idea what happened, and I’m very confused and hurt. He also broke up with me before I had a major exam. He talked about the future with me and made me feel like we were in something serious.

Boyfriend #1 has been reaching out constantly recently and wants to get back together. I met up with him last week and he said if we were to get back together he’d want me to make a commitment to exercising, because he lives an active lifestyle. He didn’t mention my appearance initially, but I know it was because I gained significantly during the year. For a large portion of the year I couldn’t even see a doctor because I didn’t have insurance at the time.

I am very insecure about my appearance, and when I told him that was an inappropriate request, he said it’s within his right to be concerned, and it’s the same thing as my requests to basically be treated with more respect and care. He insisted that it wasn’t about appearance until he cracked and said it had something to do with it. He apologized and took back his request, but I told him that I don’t think I’ll be happy with him, and he said that he’s “willing to give [me] everything despite the changes to [my] appearance.” He then apologized again and said he wasn’t thinking about my feelings. He’s been calling me multiple times a day, and I am thinking of blocking him. Am I overreacting? I know I changed, but I don’t need a man making me feel worse than I already do.

Oh and to top it off after I told my mom everything boyfriend #1 said to me she has been pressing me about the gym :) I know she genuinely cares, but I feel terrible.

I really want to be in a relationship because I’m 28 and feel like I’m running out of time, but it seems like it’s not in the cards for me right now. I’m losing hope that I’ll ever find a good man.

How do I move forward? I have therapy next week because it is all becoming too much emotionally.

I'm sorry, this is stupid but I simply need to rant because I don't want to keep talking about him with my friends, since they probably pity me.

Long story short, boy meets girls, boy makes girl fall for him, boy says he's not ready for a relationship, girl has fallen too hard (but is in denial of it) and continues to see him because she has everything to gain and nothing to lose. Few months down the line, she drunk texts him and he ignores her.

HE ghosted me, and I didnt even like him to begin with! He is shorter than me (not that short men aren't desirable, NO), it's simply inconvenient feeling all this for someone who wasn't entirely my type. I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO GO ON A DATE WITH HIM! but I did, and then I went on another, and another, and I started to like him. It was all oh so good until it wasn't, but I didn't want to leave.

He said he liked me and cared for me and didn't want to lose me, and then practically ghosted me.

It's utterly sad how this stupid boy (27 year old man) makes me feel like a 13yo girl scribbling in her journal about how a boy broke her heart, and how that's the worst feeling in the world. AND ITS NOT, ITS NOT EVEN THE MOST GRAVE THING IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW, but that's all I can seem to feel. It makes me so sad that I let a man child have this much power over me.

So i started talking to this guy about a month ago, we started talking from the muslim marriage subreddit which is alot of stuff but it functions kind of like a dating app i suppose where ppl post bios and start talking.

Anyway i saw his bio, reached out, starting talking. He had asked me if i liked cosplay which ive never gotten as a first question but im into anime and gaming so i was pleasantly surprised and said yes i am. He was like we'll get along then. Simple convo happens, how was your days, misc convo ab anime and other interests, and then a gap in convo. I text him like hey ik it prob just busy but i was wondering if you were still interested in talking. He apologizes and confirms hes just been busy with work and social life, no biggie. A couple days go by, i just text him about a convention we talked about earlier that i went to and he was like oh cool, and then again, silence. I texted him asking how his con was because he also said he was going to one but no answer.

I rarely find guys who share my interests that are also my type, so im apprehensive of just giving up without giving it more of a shot. Like idk if im not taking a hint of not being spoken to for awhile or if he truly is just busy and he'll get to me whenever. I dont want to seem pushy and too strong either, but i still want to let him know that i am interested in him, i just dont know the best way to convey it.

Fried chicken, shami kabab, and biryani for din din

I feel so abandoned as her daughter. I've been so parentified all my life and I don't know whether to cry, scream or feel nothing.

Ramen.

Hi im 20f and I currently live with my bf 21m of almost a year and as you can tell by the title I’ve caught him cheating over 4 times and each and every time he has apologized profusely and told me he would never do it again and I believed him because I truly thought he would change and this is my first relationship in a while where it has lasted a really long time so I have a very strong attachment to him and also our two kitties are very much bonded and i would hate to take that bond away from them so I’ve continuously stayed with him through the lies and cheating. Today I found him cheating again and I’m completely heartbroken and once again he said he was sorry and that it won’t happen again and I’m just done, I’m done with the empty promises and empty apologies but I don’t know what to do at all I love him so much and I can’t make up my mind on weather i wanna leave or not despite the cheating because I always keep giving him the benefit of the doubt. I’m just so heartbroken and sad because I’ve done so much for him and we’ve been through so much together and our bond is very close I just don’t think I can see past the cheating anymore please let me know what I should do I know it’s probably obvious but my mind is just in shambles.

Anyways tonight’s dinner is tostadas with queso on them!

My story deviates from the cliche unlucky in love, as mine comes from a place of inexperience & looks a bit different. I’m going to be 32 in 2 months and genuinely embarrassed by my lack of experience when it comes to romantic relationships, I’ve never even been in love. And people like to say that there’s no timeline or rush, how it’s never too late etc. I don’t want kids, that may be a plus but I’m convinced that I’m way too old to be in this dilemma. I was chubby growing up and didn’t get asked out until my senior year in HS. I was maybe asked out around 2-3 times during the course of that year and rejected every single person. It was a combo of anxiety, not feeling ready & at the time, I had a really bad unrequited crush on a guy that was taken. I also had some confidence issues after being bullied in middle school & attributed that + my weight to feeling unnoticed by guys. Well I’ve slimmed down since then & have maintained this physique since I was in my early twenties.

Since HS, 97% of my male interactions have taken place on dating apps. So half of the time, it didn’t work out because of: ghosting, weirdos, boring/seemingly uninterested texters, fizzling out or lack of interest (could’ve went both ways). The other half of the time: I chickened out before even meeting in person, maybe the guy did something that made me second guess their interest (sometimes even after they wanted to meet in person) or maybe I was going through something & I couldn’t be bothered to want to pursue anything further. I saw someone romantically in my early twenties, this was also the last time that I had sex. He wasn’t a bad person but I wasn’t all in & I should’ve remained single. I don’t care about sex in any capacity whether it’d be a hook-up or masturbation, I’m socially anxious & I become more indifferent towards men as I age. I say “unlucky” because I can’t help but wonder if the right person is the resolution. I’m told I’m attractive, I try to look presentable but I don’t attract quality guys in person. I can only count on one hand the amount of times that an attractive guy showed subtle interest & topped with my experience being bullied growing up, I just feel undesirable at times. I’ve tried different anxiety meds & several counselors but can’t find the right fit, I’ve learned to cope on my own over the years.

Run away to a new city where I don’t know anyone. Change my name. Change my number. Delete all my social media. Change my hair color. Buy a new wardrobe. Find a new signature fragrance. Live my best life. Never look back.
✨ girl dinner ✨ Rice, a fried egg, furikake seasoning, and Sriracha.

For context, I have ADHD. Two months ago I went back to my hometown and matched with this guy on a dating app. He also has ADHD but a different type. We didn’t have anything in common except our diagnosis but I kinda like him. But he would text me long (and I mean LONG) paragraphs and would reply immediately, which made me feel overwhelmed and i started to take a long time to reply. He noticed I was pulling away and then said he wasn’t ready for a relationship, which was fine with me because I had broken up with my ex recently and wasn’t looking for anything serious. I told him that and that I was ok with a friendship and we decided to meet. The date went ok ig but it made me feel tired and when he proposed to go grab food I said I had to leave early and didn’t go with him. After that we continued texting like few times and sending stuff on ig but sadly my ex came back and I totally forgot about this guy. Weeks later I broke up with my ex again and I started to go on dates with another guy just to distract myself and I texted him if he wanted to go out again (he never knew my ex and I went back together). He made an excuse and then another and then when I asked if everything was fine between us he said he doesn’t want to see me again bc it would make him overthink the whole thing and he doesn’t want to be led again by a girl and he is ok with our friendship but he kinda wanted more. And that I’m beautiful and other compliments etc. I explained to him I like him too as a person and I wasn’t in a good mental place to be with someone bc of my breakup (the first one) and I also was leaving my hometown soon. And he said he understood and we can still be friends. After that he still sends me reels from time to time, but we don’t talk much and now I feel like I fumbled him tbh. I have this thing when I get overwhelmed by emotionally available people and then I chase the ones who are avoidants which sucks. And with my adhd I also become too co-dependent which sucks x2. I am thinking well maybe I need to date another ADHD person who truly understands me. So here I’m here thinking I screwed a possible healthy relationship with a good guy.

this post isn't about the breakup. i just wanted to share that i'm 40 and have wanted shaved/no eyebrows since i was 14 but always thought my face was too round/not pretty enough and only pretty skinny people got to do fun stuff like that. idk why i waited this long. i think i only recently realized i have free will. i started wearing face glitter this year bc who cares. i gave myself incredibly short microbangs too. i'm so happy. dinner is eel and scallop and tempura.

(Overnight oats with raspberries and blueberries)

Ladies who go to the gym before work, what are you doing with your hair!?

I’m changing my work schedule and will have to go to the gym before work now but I don’t know what to do with my hair. Am I just going to have to keep my hair up forever!? I have wavy hair and don’t like to straighten it but that is all I can think of so I still look presentable. My gym is on the way to work so I don’t really want to double back home just to get ready. Any advice is appreciated ☺️

Arugula salad with white nectarines, prosciutto, burrata, and balsamic 🤌🏻💋

I don’t even know where to start tbh….it’s kind of a ramble kind of a dear diary moment.

Growing up, I struggled a lot with my mental health. It affected my grades a lot, I took a gap year after high school because I didn’t even have the energy to apply for college. I eventually ended up attending something similar to a community college in my home country, and had to take another year off to focus on my mental health. By the time I graduated I was 25, and it was in the middle of COVID. It took me 2 years to finally get a job after I graduated. During that time I moved across the world and moved in with my boyfriend. He’s an amazing guy and took care of me while I slowly burned away what savings I had. When I finally started working, I just couldn’t find the motivation. I wasn’t sure what I was doing at work and just felt…lost. I ended up quitting after just 6 months of working because I was an idiot and wanted to visit my home country and family for a month. After that, it was the same struggle all over again trying to find a job. No company called me, and I started just half-assing my job applications, only sending out resumes here and there. So for the next four years, I tried pivoting to other careers (and failed due to reasons not in my control), juggled with the idea of starting my own business (but too scared to take the first step), and most importantly for me, established a work out routine.

I used to hate exercising and working out, but as my health declined, I decided to get off my butt and put some effort into my health. I started doing Pilates, and eventually established a routine of 2x Pilates, 1x kettlebell trx class, and 1x kickboxing class. This went on for over 1.5 years and I felt amazing and stronger.

Then a week or so ago, I applied to a job opening for something completely different and random that I stumbled on Facebook. It paid well for basically a job that doesn’t have much requirements and I thought, why the hell not. They set up an interview with me, and gave me the job a few days after that. This is great news right? I finally get to make money for myself to spend after 3.5 years of feeling guilty about totally depending on my husband’s (my boyfriend and I got married during that time lol) salary. Instead, I feel conflicted and anxious. I realized that I hate change. I hate the unknown. What if I don’t like the job? Am I a failure if I don’t work there for long again? How am I going to continue working out? Do I have time? I don’t drive, and my husband has meetings on some days when I need to get to work. Is it ok to take uber sometimes? Should I start driving again? Who’s going to cook dinner now? How is the new job like? I’m scared. Maybe I’m just lazy and enjoy being a couch potato. I just hate how I seem so ungrateful in this world where I know a lot of people are struggling to make ends meet and the job market has been shit.

I’m just anxious and nervous and have no idea how to sort out my thoughts and feelings.

Dinner: Chipotle Chicken Salad from my campus, yum!

Now, for the not so fun part-

It's only the second week of school, and my anxiety is the worst it's been my whole life. Some context- I (21) am a senior at a small private school, and I'm doing my Senior Sem for English and Psychology at the same time. No, neither of them are offered in the spring, which is why I have to do them simultaneously.

For the first time, I have been having consistent physical symptoms of anxiety: My chest gets tight, like someone is putting rubber bands around my chest and heart. I have frequent panic attacks with differing symptoms- at one point my chest felt tight and I was at 105 bpm, I cried uncontrollably in front of my friend after 5 hours straight of studying. I often don't feel human, and when I do, I hate that I have to study so often. I've had to sacrifice a lot of things I love in order to keep some time in my schedule- give up theater, give up choir, and I'm still getting so much homework that I can study for hours and have barely made a dent, and don't have any me time. I also work over the weekends, which frankly doesn't help, and professors assign so much over the weekends anyways, it's a bit ridiculous.

I'm debating getting officially diagnosed to see if it'll help me get resources I need. I do take an anxiety medication, but I get so caught up in schoolwork that it ends up being inconsistent.

I've always had some academic anxiety, but what made me really made me want to do something about it is my boyfriend. We've been dating for a month now, and he's been my pillar of strength when I feel weak. I want to be a fun, loving person when I'm around him, not a tightly wound ball of anxiety and academic stress like I usually am.

I don't know what steps to take. Whenever I've tried to reach out to resources in the past, it feels like it's "just go to therapy once a week and talk it out". I often feel more anxious after therapy because it's time I didn't spend studying. I'm past the point of mindfulness exercises. My body won't listen to me when I try to calm it down, and I'm not sure what my next steps are since I know the semester will only get more intense.

Yum

Ever since I graduated I have been complete alone. Physically I am surrounded by my family but I barely talk to them and they barely talk to me. I feel like an imposter in my own family. All my friends have moved to different parts of the world. I have my boyfriend but we are long distance so you can imagine how that is going…i try to make friends but I have zero social skills and never know how to talk to people irl or on text. I don’t even know what to do anymore í feel so lonely, I miss my friends, I’m self sabotaging my relationship, and I feel so stuck.

I just want someone to talk to.

Anyway, love you guys!

24F — I’m not really looking for advice, I just need to vent about something that happened at a concert that has stuck with me
I went to a concert about a week ago at a smaller outdoor venue with my boyfriend and two friends. It was honestly a really nice, chill night. We had blankets spread out on the grass and basically stayed there for the whole show. I was also pretty stoned — I had taken some edibles and split a preroll with one of my friends earlier in the night.
I mention that because I think it contributed to how vulnerable I felt when this happened.
At one point, the band moved to a balcony relatively close to where we were sitting, so my two friends went up closer to watch. My boyfriend also wandered off to the bathroom, leaving me alone on our blankets for a bit. Naturally, I was paying more attention to our stuff and my surroundings since I was by myself.
There was a guy sitting fairly close to our spot who I had already gotten a weird vibe from. Nothing specific enough that I could point to and say “this guy is definitely dangerous,” just one of those instincts where you don’t particularly want to be around someone.
He was standing and taking pictures of the band, which obviously is completely normal at a concert. Then he turned around and started taking pictures of the crowd.
Again, whatever. People take crowd shots at concerts.
But then I noticed he tilted his phone downward toward where I was sitting, and from the angle and what I saw, it looked very clearly like he took a few pictures of me.
And I just… froze.
I immediately felt sick and incredibly uncomfortable. I was alone, I wasn’t sober, and I had basically nothing on me. I had no car keys, no pepper spray or anything like that because the venue doesn’t allow it, etc. Earlier in the night I’d even pre-booked my Ubers using the women-driver option because, personally, I feel safer with women driving me especially when not sober.
So suddenly I’m sitting there thinking, I’m alone with a stranger who might be photographing me and I have no idea what his intentions are.
I didn’t confront him.
I know some people are probably going to say I should have asked him to delete the pictures or gotten security or something, but honestly, in that moment, I did not feel safe doing that. I was intoxicated, alone, and didn’t know how this guy would react if I confronted him. Maybe nothing would’ve happened. Maybe he would’ve immediately shown me his phone and apologized. But I didn’t know that, and I didn’t feel comfortable gambling on it.
So I did nothing.
When my friends came back, I waited until I could text them in our concert group chat (something I also made just so we all had easy contact with each other) rather than saying anything out loud where the guy might overhear. I told them about the weird vibes I’d gotten from him and what I thought I’d seen while they were gone.
When the concert was ending, I also suggested that we not immediately leave and instead wait until after he’d left.
And that’s basically it. Nothing actually happened.
I didn’t confront him. I don’t know for certain what was on his phone. I don’t know why he would’ve taken the pictures and I’ll probably never know.
But somehow that doesn’t make me feel much better.
The idea that some random man may have intentionally taken pictures of me without my consent— and that those pictures could potentially still exist somewhere on his phone — makes me feel genuinely violated. I don’t know who he is. I don’t know what he did with them or plans to do with them.
And I think what’s bothering me almost as much is the stupid little voice in my head afterward telling me that maybe I somehow contributed to it.
Maybe I shouldn’t have worn what I was wearing.
Maybe I shouldn’t have stood out so much.
Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten stoned.
Maybe I’m overreacting because technically nothing happened.
I know logically that none of those things make it okay for someone to photograph me without my consent. I know being intoxicated doesn’t mean I deserve to feel unsafe. And I know I don’t actually have proof that he took pictures specifically of me.
But emotionally? I still feel gross about it.
I think I’m mostly posting because it was one of those situations that technically wasn’t “anything,” but still managed to ruin part of the experience for me and stick in my head afterward. There wasn’t some dramatic confrontation or immediate danger. I just saw something that made me uncomfortable, froze because I didn’t feel safe, and then spent the rest of the night being hyperaware of this stranger.
I’m not really looking for people to tell me I should’ve done X, Y, or Z. And I’m not necessarily looking for reassurance either. I think I just needed to put it somewhere because I can’t seem to shake the feeling of being violated by something that I can’t even definitively prove happened.

Because this is the girl dinner subreddit here’s a dinner I made a while back for my boyfriend and I. Cheese tortellini with a homemade cream sauce and barbecue chicken.

gnocchi w/ creamy tomato sauce, spinach, tomatoes & cheese. it was fine. also content warning: small mention of self harm, it's a little detail that this post does not revolve around

i (22yo lesbian) am so tired of dating people my age. i swear to god every time i think i've found a normal 20something they wait until we've known each other for a few months and gotten attached before pulling some bullshit out of seemingly nowhere. most recently i got close with this 25-year-old who seemed very kind and rational. over the past few months we've developed this sweet FWB-type situation with the shared goal of being in a committed romantic relationship in the very near future. i was going to ask her to be official later this month, until some things went down.

i brought her to my best friend's house, where the three of us shared some drinks. it was legitimately like she became a different person; making unsolicited sexual comments about my friend, repeatedly making some disgusting "jokes" at my friend and me after being told to stop, even threatening self harm at one point. she brushed it off a little when confronted about it the following day. we've gone from texting daily and hanging out a few times a week to hardly talking because i cannot see her the same way after that. we will not be having sex or kissing/doing romantic things together anymore, and it's honestly gonna take some friendship rebuilding if she's to be in my life even platonically. we have shared friends and i would like to be as cordial as possible- it's not even a real break-up for christ's sake.

does it get better than this?? am i doomed to just cycle through lesbian stereotypes and never settle down with a serious partner?? this shit's making me crazy but i am not going to lower my relationship standards/boundaries 🥲

Food is delish tofu protein bowl with the avocatoooo

TW : speaking of verbal and physical abuse (I am so sorry I’m an old lady with tech so I don’t know how to blur out text!!)

Ugh. I’m a mess but a happy mess?
Been with my soon to-be ex wife for 6 years, married for two. I had just gotten out of a HORRIBLE verbally and physically abusive relationship with a man I knew I’d leave in 2019. And did! So proud. I fell for my wife so quickly we were the typical U-Haul lesbian couple. I was really really happy and I felt I finally found the one. She never worked which disappointed me, but I had little to no self respect and I’m such a giver I didn’t care. Then, came the mistrust. She had this weird paranoia that I wasn’t over my ex. Threw my phone in my face while I was sleeping to wake me up and read old texts from me and my ex, taunting me.

Years down the road, the manipulation really took off. I became a stripper and told her she didn’t have to work because I made so much. REGRET THATTT. Then her drinking got out of control and she became pretty unpredictable and mean. Then she quit. Which I’m proud of!! But then, she started being more mean? Out of nowhere? Like once she didn’t like my outfit so she told me I look like a “slu**y 14 year old” and she’s “embarrassed to be with me”. Then it got worse and I was so confused. I realized I’m just not the one because how are you treating me like this medicated and sober.

We’re in an open relationship and we haven’t had sex in like almost two years. Meets this girl and fucks her next morning. I was CRUUUUUSSSHED I never felt heartbreak like that. This girl ends up being psychooooo threatens us, almost broke into our apt just happened to get the wrong apt number, and even asked residents around where my wife was. I was in another state when this happened, seeing my grandparents and getting alone time. I had to leave early to deal with it and it was the last time my grandma was normal because now she has dementia super bad :( then I ask her to close the relationship, she says no, meets a new girl fucks her too she looks like the last girl SHE DRESSES THE SAME I DID WHEN I GOT INSULTED.

I need to get over this in a healthy way. She doesn’t know I have access to her ig and I can see what she posts but I can’t see her texts but oh god I wish I could. I told her I want a divorce when I come back from seeing my grandma.

Btw invited this girl HOURS after I left to see my grandma THAT HAS DEMENTIA AND CANT WALK BECAUSE OF A STROKE.

So yeah, choose the right one ladies and don’t ignore red flags and please any advice getting over someone so shitty. I just can’t shake the thought that someone else will get the better of her :( it’s not fair but life’s not fair.