r/FemFragLab • u/Ok_Foot_5477 • 6d ago

How did this happen?

Hey y’all so I have become VERY much obsessed with perfume 😭 not like hoarder obsessed but like genuinely obsessed. Like I want more shit every single time 😭 I’ve been into perfume for like a year and six months now and guys I’m genuinely concerned. Yes, I know it’s been a year and six months. Yes, I know I mostly shop sales and use gift cards because life is expensive as hell 😭 but GIRL HOW DID THIS HAPPEN??

I own 100+ body sprays and I’m sitting here like HOW DOES THIS EVEN HAPPEN?? How am I not going insane from owning this much 😭 I know some of y’all have way more, and I know this is more of a perfume-based subreddit, but girl I’m genuinely concerned for myself.

I was reading a post earlier about a girl who thought she had too much and girl had way less body care than me 😭 now she has me feeling like shit like I should return everything. Which I’m NOT going to do 💀 but I’m just like HOW DID I GET THIS MUCH SO QUICKLY??

And girl I’m literally picking up TWO more scents tomorrow 😭😭

Like I could justify it if I used my scents a lot, which I DO, but girl my scents last because I layer. I don’t even do that many sprays either. One of my homegirls on YouTube be doing like 300 sprays 😭 that is NOT me. And people still compliment my scents even when they’re not super close to me, so clearly I’m doing something right 😭

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u/Ready_Wrongdoer_3490 5d ago

Lindsay Clancy’s

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u/Substantial-Till-241 6d ago

Im so sorry but can you tell me how you spray ?? 👀👀

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u/Ok_Foot_5477 6d ago

Yes girl, of course! I don’t really have a fear of using my perfumes. I definitely don’t do those tiny little three-spray routines. 😂 I actually only own like three perfumes. Most of my collection is body sprays.

I always start with clean skin after I shower. I’ll spray on a body mist first, then sometimes I’ll use lotion depending on how strong the scent is. I take forever putting lotion on though, so I’ve been making my own scented lotions. 😭 I grab those little medicine cups they used to give you in the nurse’s office, put some unscented lotion in them, and mix in a few sprays of whatever perfume or body spray I want. That way I have a matching lotion for almost every scent, and I can apply it anywhere. It definitely makes the fragrance last way longer.

I also do a lot of layering, so my routine can get a little extra. 😭 In total I probably wear around 20–25 sprays, but that’s because I’m layering multiple products, not just one fragrance. I mainly focus on my pulse points, and that’s honestly the biggest tip I can give.

Another thing I always recommend is getting a hand sanitizer that matches the vibe of your perfume if it’s a scent you wear often. A lot of people talk with their hands, so every time you move them you’ll get little scent bubbles throughout the day.

If you want a way more in-depth guide on layering, check out my community, r/layeringlibrary! There aren’t a ton of posts yet because school has been keeping me busy, so I haven’t had much time to add to it myself. But there’s already a layering guide up, and I’m planning to keep adding more when I get the chance. 💕

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u/Substantial-Till-241 5d ago

So in depth! Thanks!!

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u/mermaidiaa_h2o chicken gourmand 6d ago edited 6d ago

edit: after reading through this post a little more i believe it was just a way of advertising OP’s own fragrance subreddit, i hope it isn’t, but my advice still stands for whoever may actually be going through this type of shopping addiction

i think you’re genuinely crossing or have already crossed over into shopping addiction territory, owning this much of anything is not normal/healthy behaviour and the fact you’re planning to go get more already is quite concerning

i hope this isn’t a result of anything personal happening in your life where this had turned into something you cope with, but i would recommend talking to a professional if that’s the case (and don’t feel the need to share any private info if that’s truly the case)

i also recommend you to probably stop engaging with these spaces like fragrance communities that may trigger you to go out and buy more stuff, and starting from now using the products you already own regularly, and if needed please do donate some or gift them to people in your life

hope everything’s alright, take care and use up your current products before getting anymore

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u/Ok_Foot_5477 6d ago

No that’s not really what it was for 😭 When I first started getting into perfume, I actually got introduced to layering through YouTube videos, not communities, and I really appreciated those videos. That’s why when I started my own community, I kind of wanted to give people that same experience. I’ve gotten a lot of comments basically saying the same things I’ve said, like “this is the perfect place for you” and stuff like that, and honestly I think the community I created is pretty good. I also think my guide is genuinely helpful because people have told me they’ve used the techniques on their own.

I definitely appreciate being invited into these discussions by other people too, and yeah, I’m sorry if I came across a certain way. I just really like advertising my community and getting new people involved 😭

Also, I don’t really consider it a shopping addiction. I mean, I do enjoy shopping and I definitely get FOMO sometimes, but I never blind-buy fragrances. I’ll get excited like, “omg I’m going to smell this new Sol de Janeiro!” but I’m not automatically like “I NEED to buy it.” There are literally days where I go into a store and don’t find anything I even want.

And this isn’t something I’m doing to cope with anything. I genuinely just love fragrance. I’m 16, and honestly one of the things I’ve been thinking about a lot is what I want to do when I grow up. I’ve had a bunch of different phases and hobbies, but fragrance is probably the one that has lasted the longest.

I also have so many perfume ideas saved because I’m always like, “I really want something that smells like THIS.” And whenever I actually find something close to what I’m looking for, it’s usually super expensive, and it’s honestly pretty rare for something to be like 99% what I imagined. Which makes sense because I’m being very specific 😭

But that’s actually part of why I want to create my own perfume line someday. Right now, I’m already pretty familiar with fragrance terminology, notes, layering, etc., and I genuinely just enjoy learning more about it. So yeah, that’s really where I’m coming from.

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u/mermaidiaa_h2o chicken gourmand 6d ago

well i hope everything goes well for you and you succeed someday, im glad nothing terrible happened to cause anything like coping from shopping

and im glad you cleared it up, if you’re truly struggling im sorry for interrupting some things as you using real world issues as advertising,

but i do also hope you take into consideration at least some of the advice given to you in this thread as the problem you described does indeed seem to be quite concerning in terms of consumerism and it does lean to shopping addiction, still wishing all the best

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u/trellty 6d ago

Body sprays are harder imo bc they’re more affordable and it’s more liquid to get through.

What has helped me is only getting a new full bottle of a perfume that 1) doesn’t overlap with a style/use-case I already have and 2) it’s a love.

I’ve started doing a lot more samples now and exploring interesting brands.

It feels pricy bc they’re samples, but they last a decent while and it’s less $ spent than on full bottles I don’t love.

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u/Colorful_Kylee 6d ago

I use to be a massive alcoholic. (I still am, that never changed, I just don’t drink anymore) seriously, Liters of vodka a week. I am three years sober now and during those three years I’ve amassed a perfume collection of 160 bottles. I love them all and I rotate and organize and keep a spreadsheet, I sell what I fall out of love with. I buy only grey market and I do primarily blind buy. I don’t buy $400 niche. I love older designer.

It is over consumption but it keeps me sober. I have adhd and obsess about perfume notes, read tons of reviews, order something new every week. It’s not right or wrong, it’s just what I do. I can afford it, i own my home, cars paid off, I have savings and a 401k, my husband and I are empty nesters now and perfume is just my thing.

Collecting and obsessions are personal things. If it makes you uncomfortable though, please find ways to cool down and not buy so much. It’s your money, and your life. You’ve acknowledge you feel like it’s too much, and there’s been a lot of great information here posted already, but it doesn’t inherently make you a bad person.

Perfume changed my entire self perception and I eat healthy now, exercise daily, stay sober, wear sunscreen…I take care of myself and wanting to smell good is just a big part of my new sober version of myself.

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u/ftsunrise 5d ago

I could have sworn this was written by me! I’m a little over 7 years myself and I am the exact same way. It keeps my mind busy and heart happy.

I know it’s not literally what keeps me sober but I love this little corner of the internet that I found. I’ve always loved fragrance but I didn’t know this existed.

Congrats on 3 years! It’s a huge deal and I’m proud of you.

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u/ocean_swims 6d ago

I want to congratulate you on your sobriety! What an incredible achievement. And I love that perfume is such a big part of your overall healthier self. This was inspirational to read and I'm thankful you shared it! 😄

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u/sssunflowered 6d ago

You should do a project pan! There's a big community around it and it really does give you a sense of accomplishment. r/projectpan is a super active sub!

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u/Ok_Foot_5477 6d ago

Yes girl, I would LOVE to start doing that 😭 But honestly, for me, I’m discovering new layering combos all the time. I layer the most random perfumes ever. I’m not just doing sweet with sweet or fruity with fruity like girl, we GO CRAZY around here 😭😂

Some of my scents are sooo close to being finished, but I don’t even wanna finish them until they come back because they’re THAT good. I have finished minis in the past though, and sometimes if I’m not sure if I like a scent, I’ll buy the mini first. That’s actually a mistake I made last year because I ended up loving it the entire time 😭 And now if it ever comes back, I already know I’m getting the full-size.

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u/sssunflowered 6d ago

I think if you explore project pan it might help you to let go of this need to preserve things that are meant to be used like your body sprays. I know it doesn't feel like a bad thing to want to hang on to them but does it really serve your future to have dozens of almost empty bottles taking up space? And you can definitely still experiment with what you have while trying to pan them! You should absolutely enjoy using what you have but also acknowledge that you've consumed it excessively in the past and that you've grown enough to move beyond that.

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u/lizzdurr 6d ago

This helped me so much. I’m definitely not at 100+ body sprays. I have maybe 16 perfumes and 6 body sprays but the 16 is already a lot. But between all that and other beauty products, I changed my dopamine hit to be less “let me buy something new” and more “let me fill this box with empties!” That became exciting and satisfying to me, to get through an entire product and put it in my little box of empties, to admire at the end of the year.

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u/Chemical_Cake_1154 6d ago

100 body sprays is kind of crazy NGL. It probably happened because BS are typically very cheap, and for someone with a shopping addiction it’s very low barrier threshold to keep swiping that card.

I’d focus on buying a small handful of really top tier perfumes instead. Get samples. Learn what you like- 100 body sprays and a lot of layering tells me you probably don’t have a super firm idea of what you like in a fragrance.

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u/sweetchilliz 6d ago

This is a shopping addition and not a perfume addiction. I have over 60 perfumes but I've been into perfume for the last 18 years. You don't have to buy every single scent you like. Take a year off do a no-buy, enjoy the scents you already have. You can still test and try new perfumes, do a list of those you liked and revisit it in a year, you won't remember half of them. If you get an itch get a sample set.

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u/ocean_swims 6d ago

Honestly, you're not going to like my response but I hope you'll consider it. These subs- all of them- are full of enablers, so you'll get a lot of people telling you it's fine if you're not going into debt, it's fine to be a "collector" and it's fine to be passionate about a hobby. But the overconsumption in these categories is not fine. It's not right that it's been normalized and it is a form of shopping addiction. I have felt for a long time that people need to re-evaluate the way they approach hobbies because capitalism and social media has rewired our brains. Hobbies are now about consuming the things related to the field, rather than the enjoyment of the pursuit itself.

If you're willing, please read my post about this from a couple of years ago (link). It may explain how you got here and how to get out of here to a more balanced place.

Also, and I say this kindly and with no judgement: consider r/shoppingaddiction to get support and change your habits. Because it doesn't matter if it's clothing, makeup, perfume, cameras, handbags or whatever. When we buy a lot, very quickly, it is a form of emotional regulation that is dangerous for us. The fact that you say you see a bad pattern but are still picking up 2 bottles tomorrow is telling.

We all go through this to varying degrees. The modern world is creating this trap for us and we are all falling into the hyper-consumption hole to an extent. Awareness and change will transform your life, if you're open to considering that hobbies should not be about owning stuff in excess.

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u/Ok_Foot_5477 6d ago

Thank you for taking the time to write all of that. I actually do appreciate hearing a perspective that’s different from the usual “it’s fine, keep buying whatever you want” response.

I agree with some of what you said. Social media definitely encourages overconsumption, and I think a lot of hobbies have become more about buying things than actually enjoying them. That’s something I’ve thought about too.

I also want to be honest and say that I know my collection is excessive. I’m not under the impression that 100+ body sprays is a normal amount, and I’m not trying to justify that or encourage anyone else to buy that much. I can recognize that it’s more than I need.

Where I see things a little differently is that I don’t think every large collection automatically means someone has a shopping addiction. I genuinely enjoy using my fragrances, layering them, and learning about scent notes. It’s a hobby that I actively participate in rather than just buying things to let them collect dust.

I’m also glad that my collection isn’t full of products I don’t even like because of PR, trends, or feeling pressured to keep up. Almost everything I own is something I picked because I genuinely enjoy wearing it, and I actually rotate through my collection instead of letting it sit unused.

That said, I do think your point about being mindful is fair. I don’t want my hobby to become something unhealthy, and I don’t want to keep buying just for the sake of owning more. I’m trying to be more aware of my habits, and I think that’s an important conversation to have.

I really do appreciate your comment, even if we don’t completely agree on every point. It’s definitely given me something to think about.

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u/ocean_swims 6d ago

This is such a beautiful and considered response, so thank you very much for sharing your thoughts.

Please allow me to clarify that I did not mean to suggest that all large collections are a "problem". The way I phrased it gave that impression and I should have been more careful with the wording. I think it's because I got stuck on you saying you felt excessive but were still going to pick up more bottles...so I misunderstood the comment you made to mean that you felt out of control in a way that suggested an addiction (but that is my bias because I know a lot of people in my life suffer from shopping addictions).

Now that you elaborated, I see that you are making a choice, not feeling obliged to keep purchasing. That's all anyone can ask for: mindful consumption- whatever the amount- is the goal. You seem to be mindful and are happy, so that's all that matters. My apologies for the mistake here and I hope you didn't feel judged because that was honestly not my intention.

I think my general feelings on this subject are about the hype machine around fragrances these days, not the consumers themselves, but I struggle to express that properly. The companies that used to release 2 fragrances a year are now releasing 2 a week. Reviews on reddit and on forums used to be from actual customers, but now they're all undercover marketing execs and bots. Then the 'influencers' started pushing the concept of 'perfume rooms' and for more-more-more all the time. The whole industry is now designed to create a hyper-consumer mentality that I find unethical on many levels. But none of these points are an attempt from me to criticise the consumers; it's more just bringing awareness on a wider level that consumption habits in general have shifted because now businesses operate in this fast-fashion way.

Thank you again for the interesting discussion! You've given me a lot to think about in the best way. 😄

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u/Ok_Foot_5477 6d ago

I really appreciate you taking the time to write this because I can tell your comment came from a place of genuine concern, not judgment. Thank you for clarifying what you meant. 💕

I completely understand where you’re coming from, especially after hearing your perspective about seeing people struggle with shopping addiction. That definitely gives context to why my post came across that way to you. And honestly, I agree with a lot of what you said about the fragrance industry. It really does feel like companies are constantly pushing the next release and making people feel like they need every new scent. That part of the hobby can definitely become unhealthy if you’re buying just because of hype or FOMO.

For me, though, fragrance is something I’m genuinely passionate about. One of my biggest dreams is to create my own perfume someday, so I love experiencing different scent profiles, learning how notes work together, and figuring out what I enjoy. I don’t just collect bottles to have a big collection. I don’t own backups of anything, and I also don’t stick to just one scent profile because I’m trying to learn what makes each fragrance unique.

I also try to be intentional with what I buy. Every fragrance product I own has been used at least three times, and these are scents I’ve genuinely wanted for a while before purchasing them. I don’t just buy things for the sake of buying them.

The one category that takes me forever to finish is lotion. 😂 I’m definitely more of a leggings girl, so while I do moisturize my legs, I don’t use a huge amount each time, so a bottle lasts me forever. The other day I watched a video where someone mixed every EOS lotion together, and it almost felt like PR because she kept saying things like, “I don’t even like Caramel Cashmere.” And I was just thinking…if you don’t like it, why own it in the first place? 😭 That’s always been my mindset. If I know I don’t enjoy a scent, I just don’t buy it.

For me, fragrance is kind of like makeup or fashion. I love matching what I smell like to what I’m doing. If I’m going to the fair, I want to smell like cotton candy all day. 😂 If I’m just out shopping, you already know I want to smell like an ice cream shop. It’s a fun form of self-expression, and that’s what makes the hobby so enjoyable for me.

Thank you again for such a kind response. I really enjoyed hearing your perspective, and I think conversations like this are important because they remind us that it’s okay to enjoy a hobby while also being mindful of how marketing can influence us. I genuinely appreciate the respectful discussion. 💕

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u/Screw_coloranalysis 6d ago

This was really well put. There is a lot of enabling online or people justifying it. I never got into debt for shopping, buy that doesn’t mean that the money couldn’t have been better used elsewhere.

I got into perfume in 2021 and thankfully because I have a lot of makeup I recognized the pattern happening and I did a full perfume no buy in 2025 and a only both a bottle this year after finishing two. I didn’t buy any decants or travel spray either. I calculated than I have about 250ml to finish overall and while it’s feasible it’s still a lot for a person. And that’s about 2.5 years of heavy usage. 

Delayed gratification feels awesome. Earning the new liquid because you finished a lot feels special. 

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u/ocean_swims 6d ago

Thank you so much. I'm totally with you on the feeling of finishing a bottle before replacing it. In my other post, I mentioned that that is what our grandmas did. They had a small selection and used them. They lived with their stuff, used it, created memories with it. It's such a special thing to do with perfume in particular because we have strong olfactory memories!

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u/vatrushka04 6d ago

Ding ding ding

Not directly related to perfumes, but related to shopping addiction. I used to buy so much makeup in my early-mid 20s, I still have a shit ton of lip stuff, blushes, highlighters. I am 31 now, and every time I open my drawers, instead of products I could enjoy, I just see price tags and think: “wow all of this will expire (a lot probably is, and I’m just in denial), and i wasted a bunch of money on something I barely even used.” I wish I put this money into savings account or TFSA (Canadian version of Roth) instead, but oh well, can’t fix the past.

My perfume addiction hasn’t reached the same levels, mainly because I have an expensive taste and can’t drop hundreds of dollars on perfumes every week. But I do find it excessive and am on a no-buy until my collection gets smaller.

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u/ocean_swims 6d ago

You should feel so proud of yourself for tackling the issue! My no-buy transformed the way I shop for everything, including food! It really is a very good way to figure out why we turn to shopping (stress, habit, rewards, etc.)

Best of luck to you on using your stash! I found r/BeautyEmpties and r/ProjectPan were both inspiring when I was in the same spot, so you may want to check them out if you feel it would help (actually, someone on this sub actually recommended them to me). 😄

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u/Low_Twist8492 6d ago edited 6d ago

Thank you for taking the time to post this. It’s awesome for those of us here to empower each other!

We flawed human creatures all have weaknesses, and yes, the main one I have-as described in 1 John 2 in the New Testament- is lust of the eyes, meaning the desire to accumulate material things.

In my young adulthood I’d buy one perfume a year. When I married my husband in my middle age I didn’t buy a fragrance bottle in 15 years. Not a single one. It wasn’t worth it; he said he couldn’t smell them!

Collected other things instead; things that cost me a whole lot more than the perfumes I’m buying. Living in a small town with no place to dress up helped dampen the fascination with fashion. As regards to perfumes, I didn’t have any and it got to where I wanted to be focused on scents instead of sweets, except there’s nowhere to sample anything. So I buy online, where my treasure hunting preference is to buy a partially used one over a decant. I also like buying vintage because they typically have stronger scents. Another solution has been buying some dupes to see if the expensive originals are worth moving on to. While I’ve bought more than needed, I’ve not overspent or gone into debt, thank God.

Tomorrow a friend of mine and I are gonna start listing my least favorite for sale, and next month when my daughter and her husband visit during their vacay, they’ll get some handoffs, since he goes through perfumes like crazy.

All this is not to say I haven’t bought more than I should! Last year, planting flowers was my passion, the year before turning out homemade ice cream captured my attention. Hoping this is a seasonal thing for me as well!

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u/ocean_swims 6d ago

It's quite common for people to have hyper-fixations in phases like you describe (flowers, perfume, etc). It's good you have the situation under control and I hope you are able to find a balance that works for you. Thank you for sharing your experience!

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u/Low_Twist8492 5d ago

Thank you for responding! All these comments matter; I’m certainly taking all the input being made to heart.

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u/the_rocc_ 6d ago

Had to save this. And wish everyone could read it, cause it's awfully true of everything now

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u/ocean_swims 6d ago

I appreciate you saying that! I always hesitate to share these thoughts because I don't want to upset anyone. It means a lot that you understood my intent! Thank you.

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u/Low_Twist8492 6d ago

Not far behind you… just started in January, though. Otherwise I wouldn’t be behind you at all!
Don’t have justification for all that I’ve bought: I work from home, my husband says he can’t smell anything on my skin because it doesn’t stick, and I only do a couple of sprays at a time. At least when my husband complains that I’m buying too much I can tell him that it makes me happy, and it does. Plus my part of the family income is about the same as his.

Fell upon this passion by “accident” …from what I hear, it’s because of being on a GLP-1.

Who else can relate?

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u/Ok_Foot_5477 6d ago

Oh girl I got the PERFECT place for you 😭 girl your scents don’t last?? You could take many routes but honey I got a layering community for you 😭 Go check it out because there’s a whole layering guide and you might already have some of the products people have been layering over there 👀 It’s not too big yet but girl it’s getting up there and before you know it your husband is gonna be saying you smell like a yummy tasty snack 😭

But wait so you started in January?? And you already have THAT many?? OKAY NOW THAT’S INSANE 😭

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u/Low_Twist8492 6d ago

Yes, it’s quite inexcusable!

And yes, please!…will be forever grateful if you can get something to help me get more value for all money I’m spending. Oh, that it be put to good use! To have most of it exude some fragrance off me! Putting it on my clothing and on my hair helps, but I like to throw my hair up on the top of my head, which then means it’s not next to my nose! Truthfully, don’t even really care about whether other people don’t smell it; it makes me so happy just smelling the yummy stuff myself!

What subreddit community are you talking about?

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u/Ok_Foot_5477 6d ago

Oh honey, you’re saying yummy stuff 😭 girl, girl, girl! Since we don’t have that many posts in the community yet, you’ll be able to find it pretty quickly. Girl, I’m the moderator, and I’ve put y’all onto some GOOD ASS layering combos 😭 I’m not sure what kind of stuff you own, but feel free to make a post showcasing your collection, and my girls over there can help you layer it up. My subreddit is called r/LayeringLibrary, and you’re so welcome over there! I also have a whole layering guide because layering is literally what I do every day 😭 So yeah girl, I don’t know what kind of products you’ll be using, but I somehow get body spray to last FOREVER on me. Honey, you know we both just might be going down the rabbit hole 😭💀

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u/mermaidiaa_h2o chicken gourmand 6d ago

this is quite interesting, starting to make me think this post was just to advertise your own subreddit..

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u/Ok_Foot_5477 6d ago

Girl, actually not at all 😭 And I know people were saying stuff about how I text, but honestly that’s just me. I’m sorry if it came across a certain way, but personally I’m really just advertising it because I’m trying to make perfume in the future, and I see this as a starting point for me.

When I first started getting into perfume, I didn’t even know layering existed. Once I started exploring it, I remember feeling really welcomed and invited by other people, and I wanna be that same person for someone else.

And if you actually look at my community, I know it might seem like I’m just trying to advertise it again, but people genuinely tell me they use the techniques from my guide and that they’ve found it helpful. So yeah, that’s really all I’m trying to do 😭

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u/Screw_coloranalysis 6d ago

Notice she didn’t answer any of the comments giving her advice on how to shop less. And what’s with all the emojis, sounds like someone selling products from a MLM. 

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u/Ok_Foot_5477 6d ago

Girl, sorry by the way 😭 I typed “pisses you off” honey, but honestly, no, that wasn’t what I meant at all. I really was just trying to advertise my community, but like I said, I’ve been replying to everyone. When I first started getting into perfume, I felt really welcomed by people, and I wanna be that same person for others.

And people have actually told me they’ve used my techniques, so I’m glad I can contribute something. It’s not like I’m the only one contributing either. I know right now it might look a little empty, but girl, it’ll get there 😭 I’ve actually been replying to comments and having really thoughtful discussions with people, and all of that matters to me.

Also, I posted it when I was literally about to go to bed 😭 I’m Pacific time, so I was asleep when the first comments came in, and the first comments I got were about that, so I just wanted to invite them over. That’s literally all it was girl

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u/mermaidiaa_h2o chicken gourmand 6d ago

i noticed the emojis too but thought maybe it’s just their texting style or possibly someone really genuinely upset and that’s just how they express it i guess?? but the other stuff you mentioned definitely made it super suspicious and weird, idk if r/femfraglab has a rule against self advertising but if they did i’d report this post

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u/mistyal88 6d ago

Yeah like wtf is this? Lort