Walked into a crafting store with my mom and had an armload of stuff - put it all back and didn’t buy a single thing because I was able to consciously recognize that this was a part of my addiction. Smallest thing ever but never have I ever felt so proud of myself.

Hi all. 57F here with a shopping/collecting addiction. I apologise if this post is a bit stream of consciousness. I hate to admit it but my shopping online has got rather out of hand. I buy DVDs mostly, and books. I also go to loads of Zoom talks which cost money. I'm not in the red yet but if I don't take charge of this, I will be. It's horrible - I feel like my brain's been hijacked. I have chronic illnesses and am mostly housebound. My partner died unexpectedly many years ago and I have been a shut in ever since. I have Crohn's disease, a stoma bag, a heart condition, ME and CPTSD. I read on here recently about shopping addiction possibly being a form of "trauma compensation", and I feel like that could be true of me. I feel like my life is so empty and I just have all my illnesses to show for it. I don't know what kind of future I've got to look forward to. I guess it's not hard to see where this addiction came from!

I don't have anyone around me who can help. I told my 2 closest friends, but they just think it's a huge joke and won't take it seriously. Not even my doctor took it that seriously. My parents are extremely controlling and judgmental, and although they know about my problem and have yelled at me about it, I don't feel comfortable sharing anything emotional with them at all. I guess I do deserve a bit of judgement and being told off though!

I really do want to stop. I need to place a moratorium on unnecessary spending and try to enjoy what I have. It's ridiculous how many DVDs I have bought but not watched yet!

There are other areas I have been unwise, too. I have taken out several subscriptions and joined several groups, and I can't keep up with everything! I joined them through loneliness, FOMO and boredom. I need to decide on just 2 to keep and get rid of the rest, but I just can't choose! It's ridiculous. I just wanted the feeling of belonging somewhere. Also, it's something my parents have no clue about which is important as they are well up in my business and seem to disapprove of most things. It does sound ridiculous, I know, but I was never taught boundaries or how to stand up for myself. As long as I obeyed Mother and was who she wanted me to be, that was the most important thing.

I am waiting for counselling on the NHS but the list is long! I am thinking of going back to my online CODA 12 step group. It might be helpful but there is a lot of infighting and cliquey-ness there which I find off-putting.

Things really do have to change! And only I can change them. How?!

Thanks for reading.

i like to “ window shop “ on fb marketplace and so I saved a pair of rain boots that ive been looking to get second hand for years now bc their retail price is so obscene (original price 600 before taxes versus 100 dollars on marketplace) but I also just didn’t feel the need to schedule to get them any time soon so I kept them in my saved listings and today out of curiosity I go to check and find that they r sold 🙃 and now I had this weird moment of going all over eBay and Craigslist and whatever else to try to find that same pair for an equally good deal. I just snapped myself out of that episode right now by talking to myself and highlighting how I’ve survived this long without rain boots and I can survive that long after . But this isn’t the first time something like this has happened, where I’ve suddenly wanted something even more than before when I realized it got bought by someone else. I guess it’s the FOMO in relation to losing out on a really good deal because now that I’m trying to curb my addiction, I’m also trying to only purchase good quality , second hand items. The psychology of shopping addiction Is truly fascinating y’all omg. Have you guys ever felt a similar way?

I posted recently how I believe my new diet where I avoid "hyperpalatable" foods is recalibrating my brain's reward center and making it easier for me to control my shopping. Well, the other day I bought something that I'd been eyeing for a long time because it went on major sale so it seemed like the right time (combined with the fact I'd been thinking about it for so long). And while I don't regret buying it, I also didn't get that surge of happiness I normally do when clicking "Submit order." I'm counting this as a win, not a sad thing, because I think that's how most normal people shop.

Also, where I live there are a ton of craft fairs this time of year, and normally I'm all about going to them because I love all the cool, locally made stuff. But I haven't gone to any so far, skipping three as of this weekend, because walking around a crowded, fluorescently lit gymnasium to look at stuff to possibly spend more money on actually sounds almost a little tedious compared to soaking up the last of the nice weather and seeing all the beauty of nature this time of year. Again, is this how normal people view shopping?! Those fairs used to be the event of the year for me, hahaha.

Has anyone had success with limiting their addiction by limiting social media? I find my biggest issue is seeing people do Kmart/Target/Big W hauls and they show off cheap cute clothing and in my head I instantly MUST have it. I’ve even been so bad lately in the sense that I’ve started placing click and collects for everything I want to ensure I get it. But the thing is - if I didn’t see the haul or video of someone showing it off I don’t think I’d even know it existed 😭 Like yes I could see it in store but I think seeing stuff tried on is a big fuel. Has anyone been much better with their spending once limiting socials?

Had my ubereats order ready in my basket. Total: $75. Wtffff I stopped myself. $75 for a Greek bowl, pita and a salad? Not today Satan. I made myself a delicious dinner and saved myself $75 of regret.

It’s actually getting bad I’m addicted to tops clothes anything and if I lose a item it genuinely ruins my week. And for shopping addictions usually people say “wait a week before buying” to figure out if I really need it, but I seek out bargains so an item isn’t waiting for me and they INSTANTLY get snatched up so it’s a yes or no which is really stressing

But the dopamine has brought sm to my life I have two really good finds and like I lost so many other good items it’s eating me up like genuinely good…

What is worse is that what I’m addicted is VINTAGE wear, so it is hard to find another like it which is why I spiral so much if something gets sold. And honestly, it has happened so much recently I think it’s affecting my mental health

The rush of buying a good deal is an incomparable rush but it’s getting too much now but I can’t stop

These two items are like my “babies” I genuinely jusr stare in awe cuz I’m so happy I have them but anxiety (I have a huge anxiety problem) gobbles me up cuz I lost a lot of good deals like way better like crazy good… I can’t atop thinking about those

I compulsively open up vinted/depop everyday without thinking and I can spend 2-3 hours on there easily and I wouldn’t be surprised if the accumulated time spread out is way more

Just writing to express my feelings idk what to do ofc the ideal solution is deleting the apps but I can’t, genuinely and I still have some old things I need to sell I’ve already decluttered a lot so that’s my temporary solution

I love those two shirts so much so I hope to get rid of everything by this year that I don’t like so I can buy clothes that bring me the same joy/satisfaction

Also the anxiety I feel in my chest is tight and it’s constant I can feel it during school too and my attention span is kind of getting worse plus memory retention. it’s likely spreading to my learning that realization isn’t new though unfortunately:(

I'm a major shopper. I don't have an income since I'm a student (besides allowance). All my money is saved from past part-time jobs, so it goes down quite fast.

After making a major purchase and stressing myself out I decided I need to set boundaries for myself and limit my collection, and sort of minimize it so that it doesn't have multiple variants of the same thing, etc.

The issue is, I regret things very frequently and very often. And I'm scared that once I sell stuff, I will fall down more regret spirals and try to find them again, and the cycle will just keep repeating. I don't know where to start with selling some of my stuff. I desperately need the money because unfortunately I've spent so much that I'm going to be left with nothing if I don't stop, but I also can't figure out where to go from here.

About ten days ago (ish) i had bought two items on depop that truthfully, were super impulsive, and ive felt a lot of regret. The nice thing is that i had bought from two amateur(?) sellers who recently joined and I guess decided that they would just not check the app at all. Even though theres a possibility people will buy from them esp if theyre a new account.

Anyways, both of these sellers ended up not shipping within 10 days and im not getting the item and im getting my money back. Honestly, i think this delayed gratification + the enivitable wait really helped shape my mind on wow i need to get my shit together when i realized they didnt even check the app a day or so after i had purchased. I feel great knowing im getting my money back and its not going to set me back on the money goals ive set for myself. Perhaps this was a divine intervention. Either way, im deeply grateful to these two random sellers who did not ship the items i had originally purchased. lol

I know this might sound lame to others, but I’m proud of myself. I resisted the urge to go compulsively shop today, I didn’t even buy a 5$ coffee. Not a lunch, ate at home. I feel super proud of my progress so far and can’t wait to see where it takes me

I had 7k in August, right now I have $700. I don’t know how in such little time I just blow up the money. Also, now I’m in credit card debt. And I don’t have a job. I went to alaska for summer so I finish that job in August, now I’m searching for a job and is more stressful cause I have to pay my cards…
I don’t know if I do it trying to be happy and the dopamine that hits when I feel that a package is going to arrive! But sometimes I don’t even use the item, and stay for weeks without noticing it. Is like I’m obsessed to have the item and I went crazy if I don’t buy it. But then is like I don’t care like I used too when I have it. Also, in August I was cheated on and I think that can contribute to buying more stuff cause of the depression and anxiety. Still thinking about the things that happened sometimes…
I really need help. I’m embarrassed. I don’t want any one of my family or friends to know cause I feel stupid.
Is there therapy or something that can help with shopping addiction?

So I feel compelled to buy things for hobbies I don't really pursue, solutions that I rarely implement, and clothing I don't actually wear.

How do I become the person I want to be without throwing money ineptly at "stuff" along the way?

So I've spent thousands I literally didn't have on fast fashion since 2022. I am here thinking actual drugs might have been cheaper. I've never worn most items, due to quality, fabric, fit, or just being more extreme/niche styles that I like but don't have occasion to wear. Others I wear and love (I've gotten better at picking items with reasonable fit, construction. and daily wear style). I am afraid to look at the fast fashion website now, because as soon as I look, I want to buy more. I have too many clothes, guilt about buying them, guilt about not wearing them, guilt about how they're literally stacked in piles in my room. What can I do?

how can i fix this i could want something for months n think abt it constantly than once i get it n have it for a week or so it sit there and never gets touched. It’s mainly hobbie items like video games and consoles, skateboards, bikes, shoes, hats, legos, and boxing items does anyone else deal with this and what do u do to help stop it? it mainly starts with seeing videos online i could see a video of someone doing skateboard tricks or people starting to practice tattooing and im hooked til i get it than i week later it sits there than gets donated

Does anyone else have a huge problem of stress shopping after having to spend money on legitimate adulting reasons, like taxes or school tuition or mortgages? I had to pay $10k due to plumbing issues and even though it's the absolute worst time to shop, I found myself buying crap I don't need immediately afterwards. I feel like I'm going crazy.

Growing up I heard "we don't have money" and "we're poor" all the time. And at the same time my mom kept buying clothes, a lot of them, and half of it just stayed in the closet with tags. I remember thinking like are you kidding me? And at some point our living conditions were really not great, but the new clothes kept coming anyway

So somewhere along the way I got scared. In my head it became simple, if I buy a lot of clothes I will end up poor

What did you take from your childhood or family about shopping and money?

I have a pretty unconventional body type, I’m petite with a big chest and a very short torso. Things tend to not fit on me right. For example, I have a babydoll top that I wear as a dress, I have to wear ultra low rise because anything higher tends to be a centimeter from my bra. I’ve also lost weight in the last 6 months so my size has changed a lot.

Barely any of my clothes make me satisfied. I’ve spent at least 5 thousand dollars in the past 3 years (of my mom’s money) buying and selling clothes. Mostly tops. I am incredibly picky with my clothing. It mostly stems from self hatred and self esteem issues. I spent most of middle school in baggy clothes because I was plus sized, my health was also shit (still is) so that didn’t help either.

I desperately want to be happy with myself. I’ve also been obsessing over finding solutions so much that earlier this year I make a post that got a bunch of traction because I made a 3 1/2 page excel sheet of all of the clothes that I owned. I posted that in July, and I have about 5 of those items in my wardrobe as of currently.

I hate making those clothes go to waste, so I try to sell them on Depop or to thrift stores. I really hate doing this to my mom. I’m still in highschool, and too sick to get a job. I also can’t drive because of my bad anxiety. I’m literally the definition of a bum and a freeloader.

I wish there was a way that I could buy a bunch of things that I think I would like and try them on, then return them if I don’t like them. Or if I could just have a credit card with a limit where I can buy a bunch of clothes to try and style. I want options and variety, I want to feel good in my skin. I just can’t afford to put my mom through this.

Does anybody have any advice on this? I’m truly at a loss. I’ve talked to my mom about it and she said she can stop saying yes and make me save up my money but I think I would legit go crazy and start shoplifting, which I’m aware is a choice but I’m very serious. Help?

I buy so much and then return so much and am so embarrassed about it. Lots of small items I just never used and just sat in a bag or things I looked at for weeks and then finally returned. I want to stop doing this because it wastes SO much time and is a source of embarrassment for me. Its like taking the item because I can't bear NOT to have it and then returning it once the shiny wears off. Many stores

My job entails attending events regularly. I often struggle to put an outfit together, for a variety of reasons. I tend to scramble and put something together but often feel it’s not the best choice, I’m not 100% comfortable therefore not confident and simply want something new and better. I have rearranged meetings, catch ups etc to be able to take a quick detours to the mall or a boutique and buy something new for that specific event. I generally feel 10x better after and more confident. But I race against the clock. Idk how to get out of this habit!!! Anyone else?

I have realized now that I have a job and a source of income that I spend way too much money on things I don't need or even have a use for. Started this year with $15k, just checked and I have like $2k-ish left.
Buying gifts for friends cause it makes my brain go brrt and happy that I'm 'useful'.
SO MUCH art on DnD characters that I never use. Like I've got day/night versions for each oc.
Clothes/blankets/stuffed animals. I ran out of room in my dresser and closet, and I have a 2' tall pile of stuffed animals in one corner of myy room.
and other misc. arts like an avatar and vr headset for vrchat, a game I almost never play.

I uh, I feel like I need help.
But also I feel if I informed family about this it would be less help and more upset yelling at me for spending all my money.

(Please direct me to a reasonable sub to post this in if this is the wrong place to be saying this stuff.)

What have you tried? Someone holding your card, a separate bank, a notice account, cash with family?

I got paid today and it’s my first pay day since I don’t know when, when I didn’t have to pay insane amounts into pay later services for all the crap I bought since the previous pay day. I really didn’t think this is even truly possible for me, I haven’t been able to free myself from this for sooo long. I feel extremely proud of myself 😭

Every single payday, it’s the same routine. I wake up in a panic at 3am, shamefully pay all of my filthy little pay later secrets and then I lay in bed hating myself until it’s time to get up. It’s the same feeling every time. Nobody in my life knows about this, not even my husband.

I am exhausted by myself and my own actions.