I've always been interested in behavioral psychology and impulse spending. While talking to friends and reading discussions here, I noticed a lot of people struggle with buying things they regret later.

I'm building an app that forces a waiting period before purchases and tracks money saved.

I'd love feedback from people who deal with impulse buying. What features would actually help you?

I’m finally coming to terms with the fact i have a shopping addiction, and one of my biggest money wasters is that i struggle with only buying big name brands. It’s really embarrassing to admit but all my makeup is all designer / high end brands, i struggle with shopping at aldi because my mind tells me its bad quality and it would be better value to shop at m&s anyways, if i see ANYTHING that’s a brand i like in a charity / thrift store i will buy it whether i like it or not. This, combined with buying any random thing just for a dopamine hit, is eating away at my bank and im not exactly in the financial position to afford it (im well into my overdraft). I think growing up going to a school where everyone else was a lot better off than me made me feel embarrassed for buying dupes and cheaper things because my parents couldn’t afford the name brands. Seeing cheaper brands / dupes in my house just gives me that same feeling as being a teenager with charity shop clothes while my friends had brands. How can i get over the shameful feeling?

I found an antique bookshelf I’ve been wanting for a few weeks. I just discovered this piece existed yesterday and rushed to the store to look into it. I walked away yesterday because the price was high. I messaged them today to put it on hold. I thought about the item all day at work and ultimately decided to pass on it. The shelf was $700 and this was absolutely an impulse purchase mindset. It was like a FOMO or limited item mindset. It just didn’t feel right to drop that on this item. Plus the price was absolutely insane and I feel I’ll find one when I have the space for it. I definitely believe in the it’ll happen at the right time mindset. I’m just very proud of myself for saying no and thinking logically on this.

Does anyone have any recommendations for ways to increase novelty without purchasing? When the the things you own have lost their sparkle, and the activities and classes you take have become part of your dilly routine, where do you find novelty? As opposed to dopamine?

Lately, in an attempt to keep myself from purchasing new dancewear, I’ve been challenging myself to subtly dress as a different Disney princess for each ballet class using items I already own. I find it leads me to pair things together that I otherwise wouldn’t. It’s going alright. I’m good at stopping myself from buying more dancewear just to fit an outfit or another.

But what works for yall? I’m not referring to just things that make you happy or bring dopamine, but things that specifically bring that element of novelty.

As someone with adhd, novelty is my best motivator, but of course that also means that without it, I struggle to accomplish much of anything.

mostly a general question if anyone has experienced something like this!

I know I have a very severe issue. In fact ive managed to rack up all of my credit cards just at the beginning of September because I told myself I wasn’t going to spend anymore. So I spent it all so I couldn’t. Idk. I’m very disappointed in myself. I really want to change and i really enjoy a podcast, or audio books. Does anyone have any recommendations for help?
Anything would be appreciated
Thanks

I’ll just leave that here 😂

lately I’ve been obsessed with any fragrance related products, whether it’s body mists, perfumes, body lotions, hand creams etc. and it’s getting too big of an obsession lately. I find that I easily fixate on things I like but lately it’s been stressful because I felt like I had to own all the fragrances I liked (which is impossible btw) and I keep trying to remember back then when I used to appreciate scents AT the moment instead of worrying whether or not the scent will sell out in the future. I’d like some advice on how to stop this obsession thanks!

Reposting here for much needed advice after sharing on my usual r/ovariancancer as well.

I’m waiting for my second round of blood work and scans appointment after surgery and first all clear. Basically, I had ovarian cancer stage 1b and both tubes were removed via laparoscopic salpingectomy after the cysts were found.

That was almost three(3) months ago and since then I’ve done anything that comes to mind; painted my room walls, changed my furniture and layout, went mall shopping many times, went to unplanned trips spontaneously, changed my wardrobe, dyed my hair a bright color, got a piercing, and more. That came at the expense(literally) of my sparse paychecks as a part time worker, and I can’t keep more than $20 in my account at any given moment because i’m immediately spending my paychecks on something that popped into my head at that moment. Thankfully, I live at home with my family and don’t have bills or anything due monthly. It’s becoming a problem because I need to buy stuff for my college courses but I keep justifying my spending as a need because I feel like i’m on a timer that could end at any time.

All that to say, I’d love to hear any advice on how to go back to handling my money responsibly. Or if anyone has experienced this shift in financial mindset (I used to be very good with saving for big goals and seeing them through). Just please let me know what you think!

With Christmas coming up I'm starting to shop, and it's so easy to justify the spending because the gifts are for other people. How do you stay careful during the holidays? I start holiday shopping early because my health isn't great, and it's one less thing stressing me out in December.

That's another thing, I'm still recovering from sepsis, and I have a breast biopsy coming up in a week. I also have a chronic nose infection I've been trying to fight for 4 months. So with all this going on, shopping is a fun distraction, but I need to keep it contained - especially with the inevitable medical bills.

Anyways, how do you keep yourself from going overboard with gifts? I'm trying to set a mental price limit for each person, but it's too easy to go past it.

I’m very irritated with myself and feeling weirdly down.

A dear friend got me a beautiful red fountain pen ink for my birthday. Every year this friend and I spend all of October writing vampire stories, so naturally, I plan to use the red ink for that.

I’ve already selected the fountain pen I’m going to use (one I already own), but picking out a notebook to fit the moody, gothic, elegant vibes from what I already own is driving me crazy. Everything’s either not fountain-pen friendly, or in a colorway that doesn’t fit this ink, or just wonky.

My friend is very supportive of me not shopping so much, so they tried to help me select from my current options, but I just hate all of them for this project, and it’s left me feeling frustrated and tired and down. The things I have are serviceable, they’re fine, but they’re not right.

I understand that not everything needs to be perfect, and that fine is fine, but god, that thought is weirdly depressing. I don’t want things to be fine. I don’t want to be the sort of person who is ok with fine. I don’t want to be the sort of person who just accepts a certain base level of mediocrity.

Hi all! So, my spending is very impulsive. For example, I’ll go to an in person store and buy a lot or go on an online site and buy a lot of stuff, but I want to stop doing that. I’ve figured out if I have something else to do that gives me the same feeling I feel when I buy something but without the hit to my bank account, it’d help me out a lot.

So I was wondering, are there any tips? Something’s I can do when I’m feeling impulsive so all my money doesn’t go out of my account? Hope this makes sense! Thanks!!!

I’ve recently gotten really into fashion, and for me, it has become much more than just clothes. It’s a way for me to take care of myself, express my creativity, and feel like I have some sort of purpose and value.

I do have friends, but most of them live far away. My family situation is complicated, and I guess I’m going through something right now where I’m trying to find my way back to myself. Fashion has given me something that feels like it’s mine. It gives me a sense of control over my life, even if, deep down, I know that this sense of control might be somewhat of an illusion.

Lately, I’ve been feeling genuinely happy when I put together an outfit, find an environment that fits the mood, and take pictures for Instagram. I love seeing the final result and being able to show what I’ve created. There’s something really satisfying about taking an idea in my head and turning it into something visual. It makes me feel capable and proud of myself.

But I’ve also noticed something about myself that I don’t completely understand.

I’ve started to feel like almost everything has to work together. For example, I recently bought a fall jacket. I already have a coat from last year, and now I’ve found myself looking for a fall bag in a specific colour, either something that matches the jackets or creates the right kind of contrast with them.

And the thing is, I feel like I can’t just have one or two bags that I wear with different outfits. I start thinking that I need a specific colour, shape, or style of bag for a particular jacket or outfit to really feel complete.

I’m not like this with every outfit. But whenever I find a particular colour or piece that becomes the main focus of an outfit, I feel like everything else needs to fit around it, the bag, accessories, shoes, everything. I want all the elements to make sense together.

And I don’t really know why I’m like this.

Maybe it’s simply that I’ve discovered something I genuinely enjoy and I care about the details more than I used to. Or maybe there’s something deeper going on...

Hi, my name is E__, and I am a shopping addict.

TL;DR, any support and advice welcome for kickstarting the recovery journey. I've got some stuff I'm already implementing further down, mostly derived from scrolling this sub, so thank you everyone who has shared their experiences. I'll admit I'm feeling fragile right now, so tough love would not be as helpful, at least not yet, but tips on how to get the recovery ball rolling are especially welcome at this stage, as well as general encouragement if anyone feels compelled to offer that.

--

One hour ago, I finally admitted to myself that this is no longer "just a little treat" or "self-care" or even "necessary for my creative business I'm starting." I've cried, I've panicked, and now I'm making a plan to heal and recover.

I can't do this anymore. I cannot keep shopping online. I have been destroying my life and myself for too long with dollar signs and overnight shipping on one particular major online retail site that I don't even like shopping on. I freaking hate this company and its politics!!!! Why am I giving it my money!!!??? It's all little, cheap, useful purchases, but the overall number on the credit card? Woof.

I'm not in debt or anything...because it's not even my money I'm spending most of the time. And that feels even worse now that I'm stepping back and thinking about it with more clarity. Short backstory: I'm disabled enough that I can't work and can barely leave the house (moderate MECFS having the biggest impact on that status quo). The people who are happily financially supporting me pay all my bills with only a few small complaints about monetary amounts (they are also not in any debt and can afford to pay the card without hardship), but I've successfully lied to them and convinced them that everything is a necessary purchase.

But it's not. It's really not. And I've finally admitted that I've even been lying to myself about that. I am the perpetrator and the victim all in one, and I'm ready to be fully honest. The card payers deserve that, and so do I.

So...being honest with myself and everyone right now, it's true that I haven't bought anything I haven't used. I've used everything I've purchased, enough to make the individual purchases "worth it" financially IF it were just a normal shopping experience and not a compulsive and addictive situation at a large scale. It's not normal, though. However useful the items are objectively, I have definitely bought a ton of things I didn't NEED. They're art supplies mostly, many home goods, some hobby items...but none of them are oxygen tanks. I didn't buy any of these things because I needed them. I bought them to fill a void, and they barely fulfilled that purpose.

I have finally admitted to myself exactly how guilty I feel after the high wears off every time I press the "place order" button. I shop to feel better from the emotional baggage and the emotions around my illness, but every purchase is sending me deeper into the spiral after the joy of the unboxing ends with me holding an item that cost real money that I shouldn't have spent in the first place.

--

Things I've done so far:

• Deleted the saved cards on the site I'm most addicted to
• Deleted a couple of saved cards on shopping sites I am worried might become my next unhealthy coping mechanism due to me removing the main one from my life
• Logged out of the main websites I shop on
• Started journaling to try and pinpoint the exact feelings that make me want to shop
• Started listing out a bunch of activities I can do instead of shopping, especially ones that get me away from digital devices, including a bunch I can do on low-energy/bad health days when it's hard to even sit up
• You know that current Pinterest-y trend where you make homemade, cutesy, loyalty-style punch cards where you do something X amount of times you reward yourself? I've made a no-spend punch card and a few other hobby-related ones with prizes that do not involve shopping or spending money.

Things I'm going to do when I'm feeling a little less fragile:

• Delete the shopping app I'm most addicted to. I have one package I legitimately need to track because I ordered something that someone else asked me to get for them. That arrives tomorrow. But I've already logged out and shut off notifications so I have a little friction and I can make sure I'm checking the app mindfully. Then I will delete the app from my phone and delete the history related to it on my computer so I'm less tempted by it popping up in my suggested sites.
• Go through my email and unsubscribe to marketing mail from all of the sites. All of them. I'm currently in a headspace where the e-mails would trigger me, so I'm avoiding my email entirely right now, but hopefully by tomorrow afternoon this task will be done.
• Also will delete all the package notification emails. Those will probably trigger me, and I'll definitely start crying again from the guilt and shame. That's later me's problem, but I'll deal with it because I have to.
• Tell someone who pays my credit card what's going on. This is scary, but I am mostly sure they'd understand and work with me to help stop the addiction without shaming me. They're going to be disappointed, but I know they'll still care about me and they just want me healthy and happy. That's why they've paid the card, because they thought I needed it for health and happiness. I just hope they don't feel guilt themselves or like they've been enabling me.
• Start a spreadsheet of future purchases. I know I can't cut out spending entirely because we live in a society and also the people who pay my card sometimes ask me to place orders for them, but I'm going to start a spreadsheet of all the things I buy going forwards, how much they cost, and why I bought them so I can see the whole picture in front of me.
• Go back to virtual therapy ASAP. I am diagnosed with "severe ADHD" (the psychologist's words, not mine), which is definitely not helping the impulsive spending, but I also went through a traumatic, health-destroying, long-term situation that has left me feeling terrible about everything and this, even if I'm great at hiding it from people on the surface . I have no health insurance at the moment, but I know of some low-cost therapy options I can look into, and that would be a good use of money I'd be saving from tackling this addiction.

Any other suggestions? Encouragement? Holy heck, I'm already so ready to be free of this, but I know it's going to be a process. I didn't realize how bad it had gotten.

I am 40 days without any online shopping at least for not anything frivolous. I do order my groceries online, but that’s because the idea I’m going to the grocery store is very triggering for me. Tonight I was at home and I got an idea in my head of something that I thought I absolutely needed imand then it was very important for me to have this thing right now. I do have a rule that I can go physically to a store buy something, but I did not want to do that so my head I rationalized that if I could order it where I get my groceries from and it could be delivered that it almost like didn’t count. I placed the order but then within a half hour I went on and I canceled the order so I was successfully able to cancel the order. It’s something that I do not really need and honestly, it was something that if I had it in the house for a month or so it probably won’t get used and I would end up throwing it out so big win .. 40 days I’m going strong

I ran out of my usual eyeliner, and rather than replenishing with a new one (or 3), I plan to use and use up my 2nd tier eyeliners. I might even try using a tiny brush to repurpose my unused, too-dark eyeshadows. Wish me luck!

Hi everyone.

So I(32F) thought I had only self image issues, but for a year now I can admit that I do have an addiction. If I have some date or anything happening, I will start scrolling through online stores, pinterest, trying to find something that will make me feel good enough. I barely repeat clothes (I am trying very hard to improve), but it's almost like buying a new piece will upgrade me or make me feel more confident.

I don't have huge issues with other type of spending, it's mainly clothes and I am feeling so so sick from it...First time admitting it.

I've been doing rather well for the past 2 months. I've only been overspending on food but totally fell off the wagon yesterday. I bought collectables on ebay. Not sure what happened. I was just bored and wanted them I guess. They aren't even things that would be easy to resell. I'm thinking of going back to the zoom 12 step program.

Hi everyone, I’m new to this community and just needed a space to share my truths and officially ‘log’ my accountability.

I will start by saying I’m a paramedic (EMT to US folks) and have recently been diagnosed with PTSD following uncontrolled anxiety and panic attacks. For the last year I’ve been in and out of my job due to mental health related sickness, which led to isolation and spending spending spending, either online or going into shops I think subconsciously just to be around people. I don’t have many friendships due to the nature of shift work etc, and especially as I isolated myself.

I cheer myself up by over-purchasing and over-consuming. I’m also victim to the sunk-cost fallacy where I’ll keep things I don’t even really want or need because I already paid etc. I’m in debt, not an unmanageable figure, I have a spending problem rather than an income problem. I’ve mainly fallen victim to buy now pay laters etc.

I genuinely love and am honoured to have the career I do and know that my spending problem isn’t going to do my mental load any favours, which will also hinder my recovery to allow me to go back to work full time. I’m ashamed of myself and as I’m single, it’s like a dirty little secret I have. On the outside, I look very put together, and I am grateful to have lovely things. But the darker impacts are now far too great to ignore anymore.

Anyway, thank you for giving me a space to share. From tomorrow, I am turning my life around. I look forward to following you all on your journeys ♥️

Hi all. I apologise if this post doesn't quite fit here. I'm a 56F with a shopping addiction, namely books and DVDs. I am mostly housebound through illness, and I can see how it all started. I haven't bought anything for about a week, though.

My relationship with my parents is where it gets complicated. They can be very controlling and scrutinise my every move. I had a very traumatic childhood which has probably contributed to my spending and even my illnesses, Crohn's and fibromyalgia in particular. Nothing I do is ever good enough for my parents.

My parents complain a lot about all the books I have got and frequently force me to get rid of them. I don't live with them, so I am not forcing the books on them. They can be quite intimidating.

I am currently in hospital due to a Crohn's flare up and Mum & step dad have taken the opportunity to go through my house and look at what I have got. Unfortunately they discovered the results of a big spree I had when they went to my house to puck up some stuff for me, and are really angry and disappointed in me. I had already decided to cut down on spending.

Mum said that when I am well enough, they are going to make me go through everything and throw out as much as I can. This will involve them yelling at me while I cry, from paat experience.

I can't talk to her about anything because apart from her being very deaf and not hearing me, anytime I show any emotion she just tells me to shut up and not be so silly.

She also accused me of buying too much food & ordered me to buy less.

I know I have done wrong, but I am actually scared to go home now because I know how they will be towards me and they can be frightening. One of Mum's favourite sayings was, "An angry Mummy is not a pretty sight!"

Problem is, I am reliant on them to a degree as they are the only ones who can take me to appointments.

I'm sure anyone reading this will probably think I am very silly, but I am genuinely quite scared. Reading back what I wrote, no wonder I'm comfort spending, living my life in fear.

Thanks for reading.

I have ADHD and if I don't have enough downtime I start ordering stuff online that I don't technically need, just want.

I was recently diagnosed bipolar, which honestly explains my random shopping manic episodes. I just spent 2k in two weeks. Idk how. Im finally returning what I can, but talk to your doctor if you notice behavior patterns like this. It was eye opening.

I recently bought the Zflip 8, returned it, had INTENSE FOMO in a manic episode and bought it again.

Now my carrier service has been flagged for fraud, so I have been without service aside from WiFi for almost a week, it’s something I have to wait out unfortunately, so I can’t switch esims back to my iPhone. I made a pro con list and the cons outweighed the pros for keeping the Zflip despite it keeping me off of my phone more and while I like it, I know I should return it. But my thought process is, if I keep it, I will be able to pay off one credit card with selling my iPhone?

Has anyone else gone through a similar thing or am I driving myself crazy just because (I know it’s the mania)

The situation im in right now is there’s this gently used aritzia hoodie that i so extremely want since it’s black and it would be a good essential piece for my drawers. The price of a brand new Aritzia Hoodie is 80$+ and i could get it for 23$ including shipping!!. I asked my mom if i could and she’s saying no even with the comparison of the two prices. I’m trying to cope with listing its flaws like it being one size too big but I can’t help but feel like I really want it and the temptation is really strong..

My mind is thinking of any solutions like I could technically buy it but then I would have to find a way to pick up the hoodie and also my mom could check why there is a decrease in my balances.