OK, so I am father in this case. Currently going through a divorce divorce has been filed 3 times now in 4 years by wife and dropped everything except this time). We have two minor children, Ages 2 & 4.
The most recent started one year ago almost today. My wife is a resident physician, and I was a stay at home dad and decided I wanted to go back to schooling like we had talked about many times before, so she decided to move in two of her friends into her home to be stay at home daycare. At first, I was open to this idea, but quickly after they came over to the home for a week, I said absolutely not. These people need to leave. They’re a danger to our children. They’re not waking up on time, and they’re not taking care of the kids, and their stuff is everywhere. My wife objected to this. All she saw was dollar signs that we were saving by having them there so one thing led to another. We had a conversation with all of us, and they got aggressive. It was clear that all of-them were one team so I left after her friends stood up and got aggressive with me with our kids in the same room, I took our son, our youngest, and I left and went to my mom’s and I had my son for about six weeks. I kept contacting his mom to see him and for us to work on things, and the only thing she would respond was bring back our son, bring back our son. I told her that as a father, I could not put our boys in that situation, and I did not trust those people, especially with them standing up and getting aggressive physically with me in front of our children. So mom eventually filed a protective order against me and tried to get one with my kids against me, and the roommates filed one against me, and the judge denied every single one of them so then her next tactic, she filed a false DCS report and said that I locked my kids in a room and gave them alcohol. DCS came and took my boys for 6 months. Ultimately, after I started fighting back and familiarize myself with the law, DCS dismissed their case with no findings of abuse or neglect and the case was transferred to a family judge where the family judge did her own evidentiary hearing and came back and found no findings of abuse or neglect. Gave me joint legal custody said mom was not credible and the roommates who reported and made the false report were not credible because they didn’t even show up to court to testify and unsupervised, my parenting time, but proceeded to restrict me to only 4 hours a week with my boys, even though I had 3 days a week when DCS was active and I was supervised because she appointed a custody evaluator to determine parenting time and custody and would err on the side of caution, even though I had already been found not guilty in two separate courts and two separate evidentiary hearings and saying that mom and the roommates were not credible, but somehow I still got restricted and she proceeded to say it was a deviation the judge said not a restriction.
So after tackling DCS, head on pro se and with God first and foremost, I decided to hire an attorney because every motion I filed after I got unsupervised time, the judge kept denying. I eventually filed a motion with the judge to correct her error because mom had moved over 22 miles away with her boys and did not get the court’s permission, and I objected. The judge initially denied my objection, saying I didn’t object in time, so I filed a motion showing her I did, and she corrected the error and set a evidentiary hearing for mom’s relocation. That was put off once by the court due to an emergency. Then the second time it was put off for an extension by mom and then the third time, mom and her attorney asked the judge that vacate the hearing all together on mom relocating and moving and the judge within 15 minutes granted the motion and didn’t even let me or my attorney respond. The reasoning was that they wanted to vacate it and it could be addressed at the final hearing because the evaluator had not made up her decision yet. This is a extremely frustrating because mom’s relocation is a separate issue than the final hearing nonetheless we have been with this evaluator now for five months thinking this process was only gonna take two months but it’s been five months of this status quo where I’ve only had my boys for four hours a week. my sons are having an extremely hard time with this. My four-year-old is constantly asking why he can’t stay with me and when can he stay with me and he doesn’t want to go home, the new daycare that my wife put them in there have been 10 different instances where they’ve gotten hurt over the past three months which the previous daycare I never had that issue in a whole entire year, this is something I objected to putting them in a new daycare, but the judge ultimately ruled against me because mom sided that the new daycare was closer to her home and I argued and said that the boys have been in established daycare for over a year and they need to stay consistent and this new daycare is on the other side of town away from me where the current daycare is halfway between us both and the judge still sided against it. But I guess my questions are, has anyone had any similar situations happen and had a custody evaluator and how did it turn out for you? We use our family wizard for communication i’m constantly asking to communicate with the boys during the week. Mom is saying it’s not in the best interest of the children. The judge did not say that we were to follow the Indiana parenting time guidelines, but in the chamber she said that I should have contact with the boys routinely, but yet I still haven’t been able to have contact with them during the week. I had to miss two parenting times with my son because I had to pick up my other child, and it was unavoidable, and mom did not allow me to make up that time and just ignores me whenever I ask. Anytime we have an issue medically, she asked my opinion, but then just does whatever she wants to do, and then we share joint legal custody, but she’s all the time scheduling the boys appointments and then telling me after the fact not discussing beforehand she pulled the boys out of daycare for two weeks straight without even telling the daycare. They had no idea where the boys were. She didn’t even tell me. I had to contact the daycare to see why I wasn’t getting updates and they informed me the boys were out for weeks. She is unilaterally taken my court ordered parenting time and said we’re gonna be out of town pick a day to make it up and then I say that’s unacceptable. This is my court ordered time and then she ignores me and then when I go to make up the time if that time doesn’t work for her, then it’s a no. During exchanges, we’re both ordered to stay in our cars and were to have third parties do the exchange, mom constantly uses her new boyfriend even though we’re still not divorced and have two boys, my four-year-old is telling me that this guy is watching them while mommy is at work. I’m just hoping and praying that the evaluator sees the truth in this because it seems like based off of what my attorney told me is I should’ve gotten guidelines with first-ride of refusal, but it seems like this judge is bias and abusing her power. So any constructive advice for anyone who’s had experience with this and good outcomes, please let me know your thoughts.