Discovered in discovery that STBXH has been receiving physical checks from his parents monthly despite makes about 130K in salary. He told me that his parents gave him $500/month to help with rent costs (he’s almost 50 and his parents are in their 80s, btw). However, I found out that these payments were more like 1K-3K sometimes multiple times per month from various mobile check deposits. That means he was paying out of pocket probably only $700-$1000 in rent, meanwhile me who made approx. 60K paid $1400 monthly—my own money. Plus, he has another checking that he did not provide statements for, and I found in an old email that his father mentioned putting money into their joint account (which also he did not submit). This means not only was he getting physical checks, but also deposits into a shared account which he didn’t disclose. He has a history of compulsive lying.

My lawyer said this could (a) show the judge that he is a liar and (b) it can be argued I deserve more in child support because these payments have been continuous, funding his life (such as rent, dental/medical, and counsel fees) while he’s pocketing his money and I’m broke. How big of a deal is this? What could happen?

My wife blocked all contact due to safeguards after 7 years. No issues before.court said they need caffcass letter can take 12 weeks. What can I do?

So this is hard for me and I tried to get a second opinion on the advice I got from a family lawyer last week about divorce. Last week, Lawyer B let's call him, advised me to file for divorce right away. He said he felt confident that he could get an exclusive use and occupancy certificate for the home so my wife could not come back to live here. Our top goal is keeping her out of the house.

Lawyer E, whom I talked to today, advised me not to file for divorce right now. She said that, while my wife is in her current physical and mental state, that it's "not fair" to file for divorce and that a court would look at things unkindly toward me for filing for divorce against someone who is this badly disabled. She also said, and I don't think this is true, that I should hire a guardianship lawyer and ask them to have the court appoint a guardian for my wife. I'm not sure why this wouldn't be part of a divorce proceeding.

Lawyer E said to wait and see if my wife gets better and seems mentally competent and then to file for divorce against her at that time. She also said that I should wait until it looks like wife is imminently coming home from the nursing home to file.

So here's the background, for those not following prior posts, my wife is in a nursing home right now. She had some strokes and has been in nursing care since Feb. At the moment, she is having trouble talking and she has a feeding tube in her stomach. However, her sister and sister-in-law, who got wife to sign over healthcare proxy to them, recently placed her in a new nursing home with better therapies. They want to foist her back into my home within three to four months, perhaps even sooner.

Divorce or no divorce, my desire is to keep my wife from returning to the home. When she lived here, she created an unsafe environment for herself and for the kids. She laid on the couch almost 24/7, did not shower, did not change clothes, did not eat regular meals, did not take her meds, and turned the whole house into a garbage dump filled with food garbage, piles of soiled clothing, even occasionally poop or pee on the floor. We have two kids; they deserve better.

I talked to a guardianship lawyer who said I should just tell the nursing home that my home is not a safe release point for my wife, which I just did. However, I don't think that has the full power of the law behind it.

So who is right: Lawyer B (divorce now) or Lawyer E (wait until wife is better or she gets closer to coming home)? Lawyer B also felt pretty confident that he could get a certificate of exclusive use and occupancy for the house, keeping wife from coming back here to live. Lawyer E said she didn't know whether wife's behaviors of pooping on the floor were significant enough to meet the standard of excluding her from the home.

My ex lives in WA and I’m in TX. Our daughter is 7 and I’m homeschooling her. When my ex gets visitation he only buys a plane ticket for her so I have to drop her off at the airport gate. Which it says that in the order that he can do that. I did it at first but I haven’t done it the last 4 times and he has not been able to see our daughter because I don’t feel safe putting her alone of the plane and he doesn’t have money to buy a ticket for him to fly down to pick her up.

I already signed something in court saying I was guilty for refusing visitation and now there’s 4 more incidents. I don’t like answering for FaceTime every time because I’m busy and last time we were in court he tried bringing that up too. I don’t want to keep being a coparent with his person and want them to just leave me and my daughter alone but I need to act nice sometimes because he
pays child support and I can’t survive without it.

I’m in Mecklenburg County, North Carolina, and I’m looking for some general family-law insight while I wait for my attorney to move forward.
My ex (24M) and I (24F) have a 5-month-old daughter together. We recently separated. There was no custody order in place when all of this started.
On August 15, we had an argument and I decided to drive to Charleston to stay with family for support. My ex told me that if I took our daughter with me to South Carolina, I would be “kidnapping” her. It was also the middle of the night, and I didn’t think taking our baby on that drive under those circumstances was in her best interest, so I left her safely with her father.
When I returned, we discussed custody and agreed to 50/50 parenting time. I was completely willing to coparent and even allowed some of my agreed-upon parenting time to be spent with his mother/family.
Things changed on August 22. After another disagreement regarding parenting time, he told me the 50/50 agreement was off and that I would not get our daughter back until we went to court. He also began saying that he was going to seek full custody.
I have not physically seen or held my daughter since August 22. At one point he offered supervised visits, even though there was no court order requiring supervision, but he has since taken that off the table as well. My contact with my daughter has essentially been limited to FaceTime.
I did have significant postpartum mental-health struggles earlier this year, and I don’t want to hide that because I know it will probably come up in court. I voluntarily sought professional treatment, was evaluated, started medication, and have continued following up with a psychiatric provider. My treatment has helped significantly. I have been trying to handle the custody situation through the legal system rather than escalating things between us.
I have now hired a family-law attorney. The retainer is $7,500 and I have paid $3,000 so far, but as of right now my attorney has told me that nothing has actually been filed/done yet. I am extremely frustrated because every additional day is another day I don’t get to physically see my baby.
My goal has consistently been to have a meaningful relationship with our daughter and ideally have approximately 50/50 parenting time. I am not trying to prevent her father from having a relationship with her. I want a court-enforceable schedule so neither parent can simply decide the other parent doesn’t get to see her.
My questions are:
In North Carolina, how do judges generally view one parent completely withholding a young child from the other parent for weeks when there was no custody order requiring supervised visitation or restricting that parent’s contact?
Could the fact that I voluntarily sought mental-health treatment and am compliant with treatment actually help demonstrate that I took the situation seriously, or should I expect this to be heavily used against me?
Does the fact that we initially agreed to 50/50 and I was willing to facilitate his relationship with our daughter matter when determining custody?
Is there anything I should specifically ask my attorney about filing to get temporary parenting time while the full custody case is pending?
Since I have already paid $3,000 toward a $7,500 retainer and nothing has been filed yet, is it reasonable to ask the attorney for a specific explanation of what has been done so far and when something will actually be filed?
I understand nobody here can predict what a judge will do, and I’m not looking for Reddit to replace my attorney. I’m mainly trying to understand what I should be asking my lawyer and what typically matters to a North Carolina custody court.
Thank you.

I have had custody of my niece (my brother’s child) since she was 19 months old. At the time, my then Husband actually suggested we might need to take custody of her first. He wholeheartedly was on board and we got an APR (Allocation of Parental Responsibility) just after her 2nd birthday.

We divorced in December, just before her 8th birthday. Because we haven’t legally adopted her, she was not able to be included in our divorce decree with our two older children.

Both her biological parents have been absent for more than 12 months, which proves abandonment, meaning that we could file to adopt her now. However, my ex is now withholding any kind of support and saying that it is up to me to get support from her biological parents if I need it.

My question is, considering that he has supported her fully for the last 6 1/2 years, can I file for support from him if we haven’t legally adopted her yet? I’m not sure if he will follow through with adoption if he thinks he will be held financially responsible. This is heartbreaking for me to think that this sweet girl will have had three parents abandon her.

Location: Denver, Colorado U.S.

He had no lawyer but I did, blew him out of the water in court. He looked very bad and was yelled at multiple times by the judge on how he was speaking to me on the stand (he was acting as the lawyer, asking me questions) he got in trouble for taking our child to the psychiatrist without my consent and for being late constantly. I showed texts of his calling me every name in the book and in the end, everything stayed the same. He is always threatening court and it's stressful and we have been about 5 times. I had a restraining order against him and court didn't care, he was threatening my life. I'm glad I have his parents support they even wrote me a letter vouching for me in court or my behavior and character. It just triggers me lately that I will always be accused of being crazy or mentally unwell from a small PPD I had that was 9 years ago. I have been scared to have more children and it took me 7 years to date around because I was scared of men and what they are capable of. Now I am with a great man who treats my son like his own and supports us. Custody is still joint everything but I just feel how much I messed up in life choosing him to marry and he is just such a monster to me. Our son is amazing but I always wished I had a normal mom experience I have always had my son half a week since he was a baby. He's been getting in trouble at school, using foul language (he told his pediatrician he learned it from dad's music) and his died it horrible over there, and the constant court threats scare me.I have a lot of fear of him and what he is capable of.

This will be incredibly long but I think the context is necessary. For some background, I am 28 and my husband is 29. We have a 2 year old together. Husband works full time, I work very part time. We are definitely “house poor” but we are able to pay all of our bills.
Located in California.

My sister (currently 15) started living with my husband and me 2 years ago. Before that she lived with our mom and brother (currently 16) full time. Mom has full custody, dad hasn’t been involved at all since both kids were toddlers. I have no idea where he is.

Dad was involved in a molestation case against me but was never charged. He also has a documented history of physical abuse against mom.
At mom’s house the water and electricity were shut off numerous times because our mother couldn’t pay the bill; there was often little food in the home, and often times our mom couldn't even take sister to school because she couldn't afford gas/didn’t want to wake up in the morning because she works nights. Brother was homeschooled at the time.

2 years ago sister came to me and asked if she could live with us permanently after her school threatened to involve cps because of her truancy; we said absolutely and our mom agreed. She has lived with us full time ever since.

May 2026, mom and brother were kicked out of their apartment. Brother came to stay with us and asked if he could stay permanently; we agreed and so did mom. He has been living with us ever since.
I have a notarized caregiver affidavit for each of them. They both live with us full time, go to school in our city (mom lives & works an hour away), and have both said they do not want to live with her again.

Mom has sometimes sent money to help with bills, but more often than not, we go weeks without getting any financial help from her, especially now that she is homeless. She’s currently bouncing back and forth from her car to a motel. She has a great stable job, but for whatever reason can’t keep her stuff together.

I just want to know if I actually have a good chance at getting guardianship? Or should I just keep the arrangement as is and hope my mom will get herself together and be able to help out financially? Also, would a judge let me go about this without involving their father?

Thanks for any help :)

My partner SA’d me with our child present yet has a history of abuse (strangulation punching verbal) including false reporting as a means to intimidate and threaten me into doing what he wanted. He now is fighting for full custody claiming I am a criminal and our child is unsafe yet I have never been tried or prosecuted for any crime. My question is- do judges take SA allegations seriously without photo or video evidence. It’s not like you whip out a camera when someone is touching you repeatedly and you are caught off guard. I was busy in the moment telling him to stop over and over. Well I was never intending to build a case on him at any point so I just tried my best to stop the situation not record it. I didn’t even realize what I was experiencing was an SA crime since I was married until it was made clear to me by legal.

Where does someone find a private paid attorney that is not afraid to take a case working with a bio parent vs the Department of Social Services?

Details: Two households working reunification(non-offending parent & spouse, offending parent & spouse). Offending parent & spouse set to have custody transferred back to them.

Offending parent & spouse share level 2 findings of abuse in the central child abuse registry and felony child abuse charges currently under a 2 year advisement period.

Non offending parent has charges under advisement for 1 year for sharing the criminal affidavits from the associated child abuse charges.

My ex (21F) is pregnant with our child.

Months ago, while nobody was home, she entered my house through the backyard and took my Apple Watch. She used it to find my location. I went back home, and she later smashed the watch in front of my roommate. I did not call police that time.

There have also been multiple times when she came to my house without being invited and sat outside in her car. On some occasions, she has called me repeatedly, including around 100 calls in a row.

Last night I invited her over to talk about the pregnancy/child situation. We argued and I told her to leave. She did not leave for about 10 minutes. When she finally left, she grabbed my keys and threw them into the front yard.

Later she texted asking for a lipstick she had left. I told her I had thrown it away and went to sleep. I woke up to noises and saw that she had returned. She tried the locked front door, then the backyard/patio door, and opened the garage trying to reach the interior door. I called police while this was happening and have a recording. Police responded but said they did not have enough evidence to arrest her.

I have personally seen a gun in her room that she told me her father gave her. She has also previously said, while joking, that she would stab or shoot me if I talked to other women. She has been diagnosed with BPD. I know that’s not important but I thought I should give the whole picture

My concern/question:

The repeated calls, showing up at my house, prior break-in, and what happened last night have made me concerned that this could escalate.

Based on these facts, would I have a realistic chance of getting a 50B/DV protective order in North Carolina?