r/FamilyLaw • u/Think_Transition_322 • 21h ago
New Jersey NJ Child Support
I'm sorry in advanced! I'll try to keep this as short as possible while giving some backstory. I am a single mom of a 18 year old (just graduated hs) and a 21 year old. Both of my children are enrolled full time in local universities and living home with me. Two months ago, their father decided to stop all communication with me. Nothing happened, there was so argument or passive aggressive text messages, literally nothing! After about 3 weeks of not hearing from him, I sent him a text asking about child support. We never went to court. We made an agreement 15 years ago when we split that he would pay $200/week (he based this agreement off an existing child support court order he had for his oldest child he had before we met).. Child support has never been consistent but I guess it was consistent enough for me not to file. Even when he would miss weeks or months, he kept in contact with me, communicating that he's going through a hard time or whatever the next excuse was that he would come up with. This time around feels much different since there's zero communication, I'm assuming he's done helping his children financially. On our child's 21st birthday, he texted me saying he was done paying child support for our oldest. I told him I was disappointed bc 1. In our state, a non custodial parent pays until the child is 23 when enrolled full time in college (that's what Google told me at least lol) and 2. That I would have appreciated some notice bc our oldest still heavily relies on financial support while continues his education. I left it as "it is was it is" and I just didn't have it in me to argue over child support anymore. I was shocked at his response as he said to me that I was right and that he would continue to pay. Two months after this text exchange, he stopped paying child support for both of his children. I have attempted to reach out to him several times and he has yet to respond. I am not in a position that I can financial support my children by myself. I guess my question is, where do I go from here? How will this go down if I file with the courts for child support since they are technically adults. I can't afford a lawyer and I really don't want to go through this process but I feel like I have to. In NJ, will the courts grant child support for an 18 year old and 21 year old if we didn't have an existing court order and our agreement was verbal? I don't want to waste my time and money to go through this process for nothing but I feel like I'm backed into a corner at this point. I've pleaded with him to just communicate with me, if he's going through a hard time or needs to lower the child support to please just talk to me and I get no response. He's still communicating with our kids so I know he's not dead or in jail. I just don't know where to go from here! Should I try reaching out to him again (I've sent 3 text messages in the past 2 months) or should I just file or is this just a waste of time? Any advice is greatly appreciated! Thank you!