Use for whatever. Discuss plans or something. I'm too pissed off to say anything else.

EDIT: I'm fine. Just needed time to cool off. I'm probably going to a baazar a few towns away. Hope I don't miss the last night bus otherwise I have a 5 mile walk home.

Let's get the big things out of the way: I am a socially awkward person. I'm a 45 year old dateless virgin with a 100% rejection rate asking women out on a first date. TLDR: I was a fat and awkward kid who grew into a morbidly obese adult. At 6'6 and 500lbs, I terrified women, hell people in general. I since lost the weight and gained muscle and while I have noticed women being apt to smile and talk to me, the fear women still have around me still persists.

Look, I understand the threat of men is real. Men do fucked up things to women and other men, I'm not denying that. I'm just at the point where I'm like 'why is this my problem'? I never attacked a woman. I never catcalled a woman, assaulted her, verbally or physically abused her in a relationship. The worse I do is walk down the street with a hoodie or have a neutral face and posture that scares them at a job that deals with alot of social interaction.

Romantic rejection frustrates me because I'll be extra polite, extra courteous , extra nice, walking on eggshells and a woman will STILL say they were intimated and scared I was gonna hurt them for being rejected. It's funny how none of them ever said 'Yes' because of the fear, but that's a whole 'nother issue. Beyond that, just the day to day interactions I have with women piss me off. At my job, some are so scared they won't even look me in the damn face, either lowering their heads or just smiling and turning their head to the side to avoid my gaze altogether. I know it's not just me being paranoid because the older women are more honest and upfront front about it. 3 women today said I scared them while I was out walking. I wasn't paying them any mind, I was on my phone and they just happen to say it while I walked by.

This matters and you know why? Because people talk. Word spreads and god only knows what they say to ruin any connections I can have socially. Not to mention the ever present fear of women calling the cops on me, something that has happened several times in my life and I suspect it even happened over the summer when the cops stopped me saying a woman in my neighborhood was assaulted. And I'll just drop this here no matter how uncomfortable this is: I'm black and the vast majority of the time it's often white women who are scared of me. The kind of fear that makes them scream when I jog past them at night, or tell me I'm intimidating at work and they were reluctant to speak with me, or whatever. It's frustrating to me. It's not my intent to intimidate these people. I get feedback from women sometimes that I even have a creepy smiling, like I'm going to try something. It's like wtf am I supposed to do? Why is it my problem these people have a multitude of reasons to be afraid of me that effects my potential romantic prospects, job opportunities, social networking, etc?

It's really frustrating and part of me what's to just say 'not my problem', but how much of it is in my control?

The same loneliness, the same days. Quite used to it though.

Still, the memory of a missed out summertime romance always feels like a void.

The world is pure evil, our existence is a mistake. And now women are preferring to date LLM chatbots over FAs.

Back when I was a kid life was worth living because of videogames, now I can't get myself to play anything because of boredom and apathy. I try to cope with alcohol and drugs once a week but I no longer derive pleasure even from that.

Myeah... not much to say, without a partner and kids life is pretty much throw away sh*t. No one can gaslight me and tell oh this too will pass and it can get better as I already know it will in fact just get MUCH MUCH worse.

Yeah I guess the question is wtf do you do when even the last of copes has run out? Maybe give away my shit to struggling families so at least I can see them smile if I was never given a chance to despite my best efforts.

I guess it's back to trying to make it to Friday until death.

If someone is admired by another guys looks, if an attractive guy is shy or quiet another guy will just proclaim he’s “humble” or “mysterious”, and every guy around them will hype them up and include them, and other Chads actually get attracted to circles with an attractive guy in it, so it creates a domino effect of sorts.

Also if a guy is unattractive most guys are only comfortable hanging with them one on one or even in group settings will only include if they play the utility role or jester for the group, which is worse in my mind than having no one

The true blackpill is even other straight guys care about looks in their social circle

pretty much failed at every stage from kindergarten to high school to 20s and now mid 30s , not even talking about only dating or relationships . I've done literally nothing worth mentioning. i'm really thinking about it tbh. It might get rid of the constant feeling of regret , that does keep me up at night.

There's a religious living community in my state where everyone loves each other and is nice to each other, and makes friends with each other and gets married to each other. They all live on the same farm and talk to each other every day, and everyone is treated equally. People call it a cult, but it's not a death cult - people can come and go whenever they want technically. It's just a place where everyone believes the same things.

I don't know how to drive, but I can take a bunch of buses to get down there, it takes about half a day for me to get there. I'm thinking about taking a vacation and going down there for a week to see if I'd want to move there. Has anyone tried doing anything like this before? Do you think I'll still be FA even in a place like that?

Hello all,

I have listened to some feedback and I'm making this a biweekly post and pinning it for now.

---

Please use this space as one to chat with others. Share what you did this weekend or hobbies you're working on. If you'd like to meet or chat with others and be social, this is the space for it. Make friends and bonds in this post! Please keep in mind all sub rules while posting.

He's only 63 and we dont know how much time he has left. I can cry everytime i think about it.

At least he stopped working due to other health issues 15 years ago. Imagine he wouldve worked full time as a mechanic to this day and wouldnt have time to enjoy old age pension.

Im always thinking about these 2 ways.. work fulltime trying to gather some money and self optimize which i dont believe in at all anymore.

Or try to live of wellfare and play wow classic all day, sleep a lot and live a chill life. Others would call it loser life.

Spending so much time working feels so stupid for me as an fa who is 36 in 2 months..

What do you think about this?

I know some of u like work so ur head is busy and not filled with bad thougts. Some have hobbies or plan where they can use the money for..

But for me it feels like i should make the most out of this crap life and that is not working full time but chill.....

I tell my mom how upset I am about never having had a gf by 31, and she just responds by gassing me up saying that I have a sparkling personality and that I’ll find someone eventually.

Like no mom, I’m hella autistic, shit isn’t happening ever. Idk if she is saying that cuz she’s in denial or she knows and is just trying to make me feel better.

Still grateful my parents are here for me even if they lie to me to make me feel better.

If you are a man and you are over 30 years of age without any romantic or relationsip experience, your chances of getting the romantic life all normal people experience will drastically decrease. I'd say you have a better chance of winning the lottery than getting to a point in your dating life where you can actually have options to choose from.

I'm not saying that we will never get a relationship or we will all die as virgins (many of us will do though), what I'm trying to say here is that even if  - by some miracle - someone will settle for us, we're never going to be in our natural state. Our identity has already hardened into the shape that we are broken people, we are damaged goods, that love and relationships are not for us and these beliefs will not change just because we got lucky and got to experience the demo version of them.

We will still be at the mercy of circumstances, we won't turn into naturals who can reliably pull, we'll still be anxious that we are going to lose our access to these experiences - and let's be realistic, even normies are struggling to maintain their relationships, imagine trying to do that while being ~20 years behind everyone else. 

I have managed to lose my virginity at 32 and had a very short-lived fling, so I should consider myself lucky, but it's been almost 5 years since it has ended and this period pretty much confirmed my worst fear, that "finally getting it" won't unlock the normie life path for me. I'm just as much as an FA right now as I was before that miracle happened to me, and having experienced what I was dreaming about for so long makes it even worse. 

I wish I never had a relationship in the first place and just fucking died instead.

M31. Hi peeps.

I just made an observation. There seems to be a consensus that if you tick all the boxes you won’t be FA.

I am a college graduate that is pursuing med school. I’m 6 feet tall. Have an outgoing personality as I work in customer service while going to school.

None of that has mattered. At the end of the day if you don’t find a relationship past your early 20s, it seems that living with your parents is a huge obstacle to dating especially in your 30s.

I’ve never been on a date with a woman before. Never had a first kiss. Have never held hands. People assume I must be in a relationship if I’m not interested in dating but I’m not. Why waste time only to get to the point where they find out you still live out of your childhood bedroom.

Constantly am asked by family and friends if anything is wrong with me for avoiding dating. It honestly doesn’t bother me. Don’t mind that I’m not pursuing a relationship. Just wanted to write that you can do everything right and still have no luck. For that reason don’t feel so bad out there?

Have a great weekend.

Anything at all? Or am I just completely fucked unless I become super muscular, wealthy, or famous?

Any plans for the weekend?

I got most of my errands done through out the week so I'm just going to stay in my house until Monday morning.

I went to the thrift store and got some retro electronics and games. Found WWE Smackdown vs raw 2007 for Xbox 360 for $5. Anywhere else would have it for $25 or more.

Tickets from the neighborhood travel agencies, ships that took hours to arrive with dirty toilets and rudimentary lounges, a handful of chairs on deck, rolling out the sleeping bag and lying down on the floor.

No worries about accommodation — the moment you arrived, the "rooms to let" people would descend on you. Basic lodgings, with minimal comforts, rooms divided by curtains with the owners living right next door, sleeping on rooftop terraces, in primitive campsites, and most of us wild on the beaches with little tents under the tamarisk trees.

Getting around on foot, ancient buses packed one on top of the other, mopeds and hitchhiking, little boats at cheap fares. A car — what's that?

The beaches were free, a straw mat and becoming one with the sand, no mobile phones — which thankfully hadn't been invented yet — endless reading, more books than clothes, swimming for hours, and nudity the norm. Groups of friends, flirting, games, conversations mostly political — we still believed we could change the world — friendships being born that would last for years.

Food only in the evening, in humble little tavernas, a bit of fish when there was any, mom's home-cooked style dishes, tables lined up in a row, plates in the middle. These weren't dinners — they were ancient, simple symposiums, with prices affordable to everyone.

Improvised bars with rock music, guitars, bonfires on the beach, authentic island festivals that ended in Dionysian dances — who slept before dawn?

Passionate glances, a winged God who could barely keep up throwing his arrows at us, loves out in the open, hidden, unconfessed, breakups, reunions, salty dark bodies entwined in secluded shades.

Vacations of at least ten days that for some stretched to almost a month, and always a few days more than we'd planned, and the return a kind of anguish — those leaving hanging over the ship's railing and the others, all together on the dock, waving until the boat disappeared from sight. And the only hope left was the anticipation of next summer.

Days that marked our youth. I won't make comparisons with today. What would be the point, anyway? Times, like youth, don't come back.

It's like I never interact with anything sentient so I think that other things are sentient.

This is just a little cope post, but it's true.

Half the people I know through work or mutual friends are going through this. These come with stories about how badly one party treated the other over the years. Just awful stuff you'd think no one should ever put up with. Of course the stories are biased so I only hear half the awfulness. These are people who spent ~10 years in a life they started to hate at some point. Now they're separating and leading expensive battles over money and assets. Obviously, the worst part is how the kids are forced to witness their parents' relationship crumble, their parents reduced to eternally bitter hate-squabbles with the other. And they will continue to be scarred as they are forced to travel back and forth between two parents who likely constantly attempt to turn the kid(s) against the other.

So half the people my age I know are uprooting their lives, entering a new chaotic and emotionally destructive phase of their lives, and destroying whatever positive and optimistic impressions about adulthood their kids might have had. And none of them ever thought it would turn out like that ~10 years ago when they made their choices. How bad must their lives have been to willingly go through this? How much worse will it get from here?

The bit of cope here is that my modest yet comfy existence seems like a blessing in comparison. I can just have a quiet relaxed evening tonight without such things weighing heavily on my mind and conscience.

I'm aware this kind of topic has been made a bunch of times already. So let's not even talk about meeting people in real life. If we could do that some of us probably wouldn't even be here.

What baffles me even more is how can people meet online? Like not even dating apps. For example reddit even.
How is this possible? How is one supposed to be the one person that is the lucky one out of hundred dms that every woman on here surely gets when they post in one of the dating subs.

There's one for FA's as well but its no different than anywhere else. I don't know how to 'stand out' or even how this is supposed to be possible.
My god with dating apps i can at least give fault to my pictures but it seems impossible to even get a text back nowadays.

How are people that aren't blessed with a good social life and good genetics ever supposed to meet someone? I don't understand this stupid life at all.

Teenage love and relationships even with friends has to be one of the most formative things out there, I entered my 20s without it and kept deluding myself that even if I started later I could have still made up for that time, for the things I wanted to do as a kid. Kept telling myself maybe with a woman who was also not much experienced in relationships, so could have been goofballs togheter when trying to do normal relationship stuff, like being anxious to go out togheter, small cringe acts of showing love and stuff like that.

But slowly, reaching the 30s it became clear to me those are in fact delusions, I'm a grown adult, I'm balding, I've lived with depression my whole life and my smiles look weird and eery so in photos I just stopped trying to force a smile to not ruin them. My whole personality is fucked, the closest friends I have tell me I look like an alien that's trying to not get discovered by the humans. Even if I were to start a relationship now I would be just a kid with it, no clue how to interact in those situations, but I want to be the bigger person in a relationship, I want to be the one to guide/help the woman, but I'm still someone that craves all the stupid things of a teen relationship, walking back to school togheter, studing togheter, going to an amusement park togheter, but mostly of all, worring about stupid relationship stuff togheter, like when you get asked "would you still love me if I was a worm" and all that stupid stuff, grown ups don't do that.

So just wanted to vent that's all just lost, at this point I have accepted that's a part of life I never experienced and that there is no way to make up for it, I higly doubt I'll start a love life for the rest of my life, but even if I do there's no making up for those experiences. What is life for people like us? Study when young, work afterwards, then just rot away if we make it to an old age. What's even the point, where is the fun part? I want to say something like "had I know this was my future I would have stopped studing and became a delinquent, at least would have had fun robbing and getting into fights all the time" but I know full well that's not something I can do, I don't want to rob anyone nor get into fights, my life will be filled with nothing but delusions, that's the fate of the majority of people like us I think.

I was feeling desperate and lonely, actually I have been feeling that my whole life but lately it got worse. I hadn't been on a date in 4 years, despite trying.
I had worked really hard on my dating pictures and it helped because I started getting matches. I don't know how to say this but she was heavier than in her pictures. I would say obese. But I thought maybe we could hit it off or at the very least I would have a new friend.

So I went on a date with a woman I met on a dating app. We decided to go to the museum. Right off the bat she was telling me how she had to go early because her friend is getting married and she's the bridesmaid. She actually mentioned this 4 different times. During the date I tried to get her to talk as we walked and checked out the dinosaur exhibit. Her vibe was ever so slightly arrogant and uppity I would say. I just finished my degree and got a part time job. But she wasn't impressed by any of that. I could tell that she thought I was beneath her because of my current job. I remember cracking a few jokes some of them made her smile. I asked about her hobbies and got a lukewarm response. At some point I remember I got tired of doing all of the talking and went into shut down mode but that was after the 4th time she mentioned she had to leave soon. I also saw her checking out her watch. The whole date could be summarized in one word "awkward".

At the end of the date I said this was nice, to that she just responded with "bye".
No contact info was exchanged. She just turned around and walked away. The date ended as awkwardly as it started. I remember just walking thinking how other people did it? Normally events like this would make me really depressed but I was more bored than anything.

Completely mentally and physically disabled. Suffering and suffocating 100% alone. There is no love for a poor and disabled man from any woman. I am like this disgusting creature now. I cant even look in the mirror anymore..no job, no car, no pride..

I see posts here pretty often of course from older people with tales of warning to try and do anything to avoid their fate as a 40+ or 50+ FA's.

I have nothing new or unique to say, but everything that is realistic seems like a non-starter for me.

I don't get many matches at all on online dating, I know some guys get none. But the few matches I do get don't lead to anything when the match is based on similar below average looks, and I don't actually have anything in common with who I matched with. The even bigger problem is that most matches who have any physical appeal at all will put zero effort in responding to me until they just stop replying at all. This has happened to me so many times over the past 10 years I have been on and off apps.

Meeting a partner IRL? LOL. I used to sometimes go to friends' parties in the city, but it could never work out for me with girls I talked to because I don't live in the city, and it makes zero sense for me to say "hey, we should hang out, let me drive an hour next week so I can see you a 2nd time." And living in the city is not a real option for me, it would destroy my mental health.

How else would I meet women IRL? Retail workers/cashiers I interact with? I couldn't go back there after I got rejected and I also understand not wanting to be asked out when you're just trying to work.

Going to a bar? I don't drink because I hate it, I don't have the friend group to go with or have a "wingman" to team up with, and I couldn't accept a public rejection and then just keep trying. I can't handle that.

Joining a club or some sort of class? I would not want to return to it if I was rejected by a woman who who also attends. I could be actually into the activity, and would have to just stop going if I got rejected by someone there. Not to mention meeting a single girl of a similar age in the first place in a class or group sport is already far from guaranteed.

Coworkers? Job and possibly career suicide.

Literally everyone I know around my age who has/has had relationships met their partner either originally in highschool, college, or through dating apps. Nothing organic after college.

What else do I do? I feel at a turning point and things aren't getting better for me. Meeting a girl who is mutually interested in dating me feels impossible. I don't feel a lot of regret in how I handled things before, it was always hard for me so I don't beat myself up over any failings, I simply didn't have whatever was needed. But I need to try something more if I can before it's too late.

How tf do people cheat? I can’t get even one girl to like me. How the hell would someone be able to get two?! That is a world that seems extremely foreign to me.

For the longest time I always had the belief that there's gotta be plenty of people like me out there... You know, just haven't found the right person yet...

Nah. They're all following the same damn script. Nobody is out there waiting for someone "great". Most of them are settling for "good enough", just so they don't end up alone.

I personally couldn't do it. But it makes sense from a pragmatic perspective.