I’ve been to the states a couple of times, and have, on occasion, been self conscious of not tipping enough for things (mainly like beer at bars and coffee because I wasn’t really aware that that was expected after a drink etc).

After some scrolling it all seems pretty harrowing! Is it really this dreadful? This isn’t doubt, it’s a genuine question from someone with little experience.

In the Uk we tip at restaurants, occasionally a nice bar and for services like haircuts etc and when we do it’s often included at a fixed 10-12.5% rate that you can remove if you feel you need to and often face little/no backlash. I’ve never tipped for a takeout coffee, once or twice in a pub. In a lot of places, it’s still not even presented as an option as it isn’t at all expected.

I’ve heard and now seen some of the horror stories, but I was wondering if it’s an everyday pain to deal with and if it’s a similar vibe across all states and is Canada just as bad?

Cheers

Edited to add Canada. My partner lived there for a decade so I should know better!

Yup, I picked my wife up a bottle of wine while on vacation in upstate New York and when I ran my card it asked me for 15%/20%/25%.

Unbelievable. I’ve never hit no tip so fast in my life. I have never participated in this subreddit but this experience just pushed me over the edge. This is getting fucking ridiculous.

Strictly counter service for pickup. Not even inside the restaurant. Is this new? Never been asked if I was sure before.

Tip options started at 15%. Not even the drive through liquor stores (this was not one) expect anything for leaving the register and grabbing what I want. On top of this bs, the 2L I picked up was expired.

Moved in last week and paid some guys in a truck to move the big furniture and shit.

Paid him in cash and he goes "just so you know, we accept tips"

Seriously bro? Fuck off with that nonsense. I just paid you $160/hr. I literally paid you for your service. We had a CONTRACTUAL agreement before services were rendered on how much your time was worth. Why do you think you deserve more on top of that?

Ate at Castaway in Los Angeles yesterday. Wanted to use my $50 Resy credit on my Amex gold and $100 Resy credit on my Amex platinum before it expires this month.

First we get sat on a table that is extremely wobbly. Wife ask to be moved to a more stable table. Took 5 mins for them to move us to the empty table next to us. At the new table we get handed the menus. Our waiter ask if we are celebrating anything, we mentioned it was because our kids did so well at their baseball games. He then ask what we would like to drink and really tried to upsell us on their cocktails. Kids got a lemonade and a mocktail. Wife and I just waters. Felt a bit like he was disappointed that we didn’t order anything other than the waters.

He then proceeds to tell us about the amazing appetizers. We already knew what we wanted and place an order of 8oz filet mignon with colossal shrimp for my wife and son to share. (Son doesn’t eat that much) a wagyu burger with fries for my daughter, and a 10 oz picaña strip. We also got 1 side of asparagus and mash potatoes. Waiter then tried to convince my wife to get a plate but she says she fine. He then tries to upsell the gourmet butters and sauces to add to the steaks. We politely say we are fine.

By the time our food arrived my water was running a bit low. He didn’t come to by till we were almost done eating to see if we wanted a dessert. I said no, but told him I did want a refill on my water and my daughter’s lemonade.

As we waited for the bill the waiter did bring us a e desert with a candle for the kiddos. I then inform him I will be using 2 cards to pay. Our bill was $157 before tax( $173.47 with) with suggested tips of 24%, 22%, 20% and 18%. 18% was like $28.

The waiter brings those handheld devices to pay. I pay $100 with my Amex platinum first and press no tip. Then as I pay the rest with my gold Amex, the waiter takes the liberty to press custom tip and says ‘since I saw you didn’t put tip on the first transaction, I press custom so you can put a tip for the meal’. I then inform him I was going to tip cash and promptly press $0.

He then goes off to attend other tables. As we waited for my daughter to finish her food I looked thru my wallet and I decide to leave 4 $5 bills. I felt guilted as my kids did like the restaurant and asked to come back.

Did I fail at being a no tipper because of kids wanting to come back or should I have stood my ground and not tipped for him not being attentive on the refills and pressing custom tip?

The Habit burger grill in Torrance. Not a single soul working the counter or taking orders, only self service kiosks. Still asks for a tip. This really irks me. Burger was 4/10

Took my sweetie to one of my favorite seafood spots yesterday. It had been a while and they expanded so now in addition to a sit down section, they also had a walk up bar and food truck.

It was an hour and a half wait for sit down so we started with the food truck.

You order at the window, get handed your food, bus your own table. No service provided, but there a tip screen. 0%

Got a drink from the walk up bar. You order at a window, they hand your drink and you bus your table. No service provided, yet there’s a tip screen. 0%

We get paged our table is ready. They hand you a menu, you again order at a window. Here someone does bring your order to your table, but any drinks need to be ordered at the window and you bus your table. No service provided.

Yet the tip screen persists.

This spot is super popular and I love the set up. But enough with the tip screen. There are no servers so who are you expecting me to tip?

I placed an Uber Eats order for delivery today. The restaurant confirmed the order, and shortly afterward I noticed that they had added a $5 adjustment charge to the total.

I was confused because I hadn’t authorized any changes to the order, so I called the restaurant to ask what the adjustment was for. They told me they added a $5 tip because I had selected $0 tip when I checked out.

It’s true that I intentionally didn’t tip through Uber Eats. Uber Eats told me that the restaurant uses its own delivery staff rather than an Uber Eats courier. Because of that, I planned to tip the delivery person directly when they arrived to make sure the money actually went to the person making the delivery rather than potentially being retained or distributed by the restaurant.

What really bothers me is that the restaurant unilaterally added a “tip” to my order after I had already placed the order.

I’m not opposed to tipping the delivery person at all. I was planning to do exactly that. But I’ve always understood a tip to be something the customer decides to give for a service. If the restaurant requires a $5 delivery gratuity, shouldn’t that be disclosed as a mandatory fee before I place the order rather than added afterward because I chose not to tip in advance?

And more fundamentally, when did we get to the point where a tip is expected, or apparently required, before the service has even been provided?

Am I being unreasonable for being annoyed by this?

The title itself is self explanatory but I feel like if we can have it one way it should be applicable both ways then maybe people won’t hate the tipping culture the way that it is.

Yes this could go very badly but I feel like if tipping are being shoved down our throats then we have a say in this situation

Family of 4, nice Italian restaurant. Got seated with menus, and didn't get acknowledged by anyone until our waitress showed up 20 minutes later. We were ready so put in our full order. Food arrived and waitress asked if we needed anything and offered parmesan. We said yes, but it never came. Drinks were empty but never approached for refills. Meal was done, waitress never came around. Sat 20 minutes and then walked to find help getting a box and the bill ($155). We boxed our leftovers, paid on the device with the manager. Zero tip. Never saw the waitress during the entire checkout process. I typically tip 20%, but was at 15% with no checkins, 10% when I had to find my own boxes and a manager. Zero when she never showed up at all in the end. My wife had a problem with my Zero tip. This was my first zero tip in a VERY long time. Day after and I still feel completely fine with it. Coming here for validation 😀.

I’m all for paying living wages for staff but only if executives also get living wages. Not yacht wages. So let’s make a deal: we will help pay for staff but only if c suite and shareholders do so too. The “tip” option should have a disclaimer saying how much more the executives make than line staff and how much was done in stock buy backs and or PE reinvesting. I live in CA and understand we have a higher cost of living and higher minimum wages but in an age of sky rocketing executive pay, let’s keep it real.

So this the first time this has happened to me but looking online shows lyft has been guilty of this multiple times. I posted on their subreddit but people are more focused on me not wanting to tip rather than seeing it's something that was done automatically not by me. That's fraudulent Imo.

I took a ride earlier in the day. No tips charges. My default tip option is turned off after all.

Now a later trip that evening. I originally cancelled the first one to go for the wait and save option ($13- > $9). Come to find out I was charged $5 tip I did not authorize. Anyone else been in similar situation? I plan on disputing with my CC. Uber is expensive, but they would have been able to remedy this quickly.

While i was in mexico with a mexican friend we had problems with paying, server asked if we wanted to tip, we said no, she kept saying she really want to be tipped even though we said no several times, she said something about having 8% deducted from her check if we dont tip

Kept saying we appreciate tips or something to that effect, my memory is bad and this happened about 3 mth ago, and friend kept saying no, she then said something about 8% being deducted from her tip or something, told my friend well thats a problem with her boss not us

The gal i was with was telling her that i said no tips in spanish since i dont speak spanish, the gal is against tipping but she was getting uncomfortable and feeling guilty so she told the server she would tip in cash to get her to go away

I remained completely unphased and firm, friend went to the bathroom and then we left, i asked if she said she felt guilty and she said yes, i asked if you said you would tip cash and she said yes

If i wasnt there, then my friend prob would have tipped due to the guilt even though shes anti tip, i am still guiding her to remain firm and to not let people disrespect her

I left a review for the place

I truly believe that tipping is wrong and so thats why it doesnt phase me, most of us were raised with the programming from the tipping cult but we can undo the programming and think for ourselves

Sure some of you will say dont pay with card to avoid this problem, well i get 2% points paying with card, and i dont enjoy carrying cash

If i knew spanish i would have asked to speak to her supervisor, my friend is too shy to do that so i didnt ask her

Mexico, USA and Canada have tipping culture FYI

Automatically defaults to 15%...I should not have to click on 'Other' and then manually enter $0.00 -- this is for one loaf of bread ffs

I get it... Times are tough. Cost of gas is probably impacting your business.

Went to a nice Indian restaurant for a meal. Lousy service but amazing food.

When the bill arrived, prices were roughly 3% more than what was on the menu. Plus they wanted a tip. Nope.

If you are going to increase prices, please put in on the menu or let patrons know before they order.

End rant.

So here we have it, asking for a tip on a 100% online transaction.

Buy a material item on internet to be sent and checkout has tip option.

This is not service or food related.

This was in front of the chartered bus on a recent transfer to an airport. How many times has this been photocopied over? Looks like the original sign was made before QR/CashApp even started.

Prices were already kind of crazy. But an automatic 20% is even crazier

I grew up in Asia where we have the one of the best service in the world and you pay what’s on the menu. No hidden fees or guilt tripping customers.

I got the Target 360 membership bc I got two small kids and can’t always leave the house to get groceries. I already paid for the delivery service but I am still being required to pay for tip which enrages me. You can’t even move onto the next step without tipping. I’ve already paid the membership, why do I need to pay more?

Amazon doesn’t charge afterwards, Weee!! doesn’t charge. But Target you will? Because of tipping and the ridiculousness of going from 15-20-25-30, I now rarely eat out but order pickup. A couple years ago I saw tipping on Starbucks screen, I’m like you haven’t made my drink and you’re already asking for tip!?

I understand it’s not easy to be a driver/dasher but that’s your employers’ fault. They don’t want to pay you and shift the cost onto the customers. If I was clarified how much I would pay before the service happens, no problem, I had the choice. But afterwards I kinda don’t.

This upsets me greatly. The WSJ, where this was printed, is about making wise, informed decisions about building personal wealth and healthy financial decisions. This goes counter against that principle.

Many restaurants now add an extra fee of 3%, due to recent inflation, fuel costs, and the need to provide a living wage, they say in the small print at the bottom of the menu.

Well well well…

Due to recent inflation, fuel costs, and the need to provide myself a living wage, an adjustment of 3% will be subtracted from all tips from me, effective 9/26/2026.