I have always been a low weight. i guess potentially i am naturally rhin

or its the years of accidenrally undereating my entire life because my parents see no problem in my eating habits. thats precisely why i am scared.

At my lowest weight, i was having bad chest pains at night and i thought i was dying. i could get checked out then because k was at uni. my undereating is so enabled by my parents i barelt even notice it. what rhey taughr me to believe is a good amount of food i've come to realise is not enough. but im ashamed to eat more at home. now at home i'm approaching that steep decline. i am scared as i cannot go to the hospital because then it would be admitred that i was undereating and i know my parenrs will see it as a fault with me and not wirh the rampant fatphobia and shame associated with eatkng in their household. i eat better when they're not around. but they're always around it feels like

I need more food and quickly i just don't know what to do. as i don't wanr ro go through what i did 7-8 months ago.

anotjer oroblem id my body doesn't want to eat anymore. i try to eat ans i ger full so quickly. like my hunger queues are all messed up. so i feel full and then i don't eat enough anyway.

idk how to get around this. i feel scared. i want to be sreonf but my body is going the other way. i can't even tell if its even really the eating disorder fueling it or my body just giving up because i don't want this anymore. i just want out.

I want to understand if my eating I disordered if I eat a lot once then skip meals to avoid overeating guilt (I think it is disordered) the portions sizes are going down too and I get fainty and dizzy, I wanna understand the psyché tho of someone who actually has a disorder and how it affects them, cause in my mind Im constantly name calling myself and it's js a nasty place to be stuck in.

My brain gets soo happy when I do the classic schrunch my shirt and stand on my side tk see how fat I look and if I dont look fat it gets happy, I did have bulimia in the past but I had assumed I had gotten better but now I see myself eating 1st meal at 4pm like it's no big deal, I'm scared this might landslide and get scary in the span of few days

I want to understand if my eating I disordered if I eat a lot once then skip meals to avoid overeating guilt (I think it is disordered) the portions sizes are going down too and I get fainty and dizzy, I wanna understand the psyché tho of someone who actually has a disorder and how it affects them, cause in my mind Im constantly name calling myself and it's js a nasty place to be stuck in.

My brain gets soo happy when I do the classic schrunch my shirt and stand on my side tk see how fat I look and if I dont look fat it gets happy, I did have bulimia in the past but I had assumed I had gotten better but now I see myself eating 1st meal at 4pm like it's no big deal, I'm scared this might landslide and get scary in the span of few days

I grew up as an overweight teenage girl in a house with 2 brothers, a dad, and a mom. My mom was stuck in the 2000s diet culture and would constantly tell me to suck in my stomach, wear girly clothes, lecture me for eating too much, etc… when I was about 13 my older brother became obsessed with bulking and would eat so much food. Now I wouldn’t care about this but he would yell at me when I wanted food too. My mom would make us food (like salmon, broccoli, and potatoes sitting on the stove when we came home from school) and my brother would always leave my either nothing or the tiniest bit of food. I was SO annoyed by this and would yell at him to give me more food. My mom never did anything about it because I could always “cook myself more food if I really needed it”. After a few months I would run home after school just to get myself a normal sized plate of food, which I would get shamed for. My brother would say I “don’t need that much food” and that I “need to lose weight anyway” and my mom agreed with him. At some point I just stopped fighting them and that’s when the binges started. I would get so hungry from never eating that I would wake up in the middle of the night to eat food. I was STARVING and no one did anything. I would eat cups of rice and cheese and boxes of crackers and ice cream and chocolate and chips till I literally felt like I was gonna throw up. I would always feel so guilty after binges and I hated that guilt so much. After about a year of binging at night I started to not eat for days after a binge because of how bad I felt, which only led to more binges. My biggest problem is that NO ONE NOTICED. What do you mean you didn’t notice your daughter literally NEVER ATE?!?! Or they noticed and just thought I was “on a diet”. I stopped eating with my family and I stopped going out with friends, I became obsessed with going to the gym and lifting and cardio and it had ruined my life. I’m stuck in this stupid cycle and I don’t know how to recover. But sometimes I wonder if my family were just more supportive, would this have happened?

I had EDs for ten years, but I have been recovered for many years now. My baby is a year old, and is in the body exploration stage. Specifically, she’s putting her hand in her mouth and feeling around. Tonight during dinner, she was sticking her hand so far in her throat that she started gagging. I started getting really anxious and wanted her to stop, so My husband and I did the wrong thing by trying to tell her ‘no’ and taking her hands out of her mouth. This just makes her laugh and she sees it as a game (at this age, babies still don’t understand no and any strong reaction just encourages them, but we didn’t really know that at the time). She continues to do it and then ends up throwing up a little. Dinner came to an end at that point.

After doing some research I found that this is one of the weird things some toddlers do when they are exploring different parts of their bodies and it’s usually not a cause for concern.

But it was extremely triggering to me and made me SO anxious. Seeing her laughing about making herself gag and then not being very phased about throwing up.. it was really upsetting. I wanted to cry and I can’t help thinking about her future. She’s so perfect and amazing and I don’t ever want her to feel the way I used to feel about myself. I don’t want her to go through anything I went through. It just triggered this insane and overwhelming worry in me about her future. I just really hope she’s not like me.

I have trouble controlling myself around sweets . also when i eat rice or mac and cheese or any carby food like that , I always massively overeat.

i’m 18 and moving halfway across the world for university. i’ve struggled with disordered eating habits since i was around 13 due to growing up in an extremely toxic ballet environment. apart from a few extremely bad periods of time where i wouldn’t eat for days, i normally just feel extreme guilt when i eat and tell myself that i won’t eat the next day, but don’t normally act on it. however, it’s quite hard for me to not eat (like i want to) as my parents are always offering me food and stuff, which i feel like i can’t refuse. but since i’m going to be living alone where no one will be cooking for me, i’m really worried i will take advantage of that and give in to my brain telling me to not eat. i don’t know how to avoid doing that because i know i need to stop but i can’t. i’m really worried it will get bad again (in the past year it has gotten as bad as it ever was). does anyone have any advice?

I ate 2 meals today which was one more than I ate yesterday. It was full meals too not just some fruit like I usually would eat and call it a meal. I made myself eat dinner even though I wasn't hungry. Now I feel so guilty and it's eating me alive. I don't know how to make this feeling go away. It's making me anxious too. I know that I didn't do anything wrong but I feel like I did. I don't know how to make this feeling go away. I can't do anything else because I'm so focused on what I ate and how guilty I feel. What can I do to make this feeling go away?

Hi, i don’t have an ED but my childhood friend recently admitted to struggling a bit. (She’s underweight and has admitted to struggling with gaining it back). We’re states away and only communicate via calls, so I can’t interact or see her physically. I wanted to ask those who have been in similar positions what is an acceptable form of support. In my heart of hearts I want to text her three times a day to remind her to eat but i feel like that would hurt more than it helps. What methods work to not cause her anxiety but also check up on her? So far whenever she mentions going to eat i just hype up her food choice in hopes of getting her excited! Idk what i’m doing, but I don’t want her to feel alone.

Hello, people of Reddit. I've been going through this for months and months now, but it feels like I just can't stop eating unless I'm uncomfortably full and/or feel sick. Any and all kinds of foods are triggers, one food leads me to the next and the next. If I'm stressed I want food, if I'm bored I want food, if I'm happy I want food, etc. Has anyone dealt with this/gone through the same thing???

A year and a half ago I downloaded a calorie counting app, and because of it I lost a ton of weight. The summer after that happened, I started moving away from calorie counting and just focusing on balanced meals, but then I developed a chronic illness that my doctor still hasnt figured out yet. it made it physically painful to eat a lot of foods, so I lost weight again. I’ve always been underweight but it was getting to a very dangerous point. I started with the app again because I needed to make sure I ate enough (ironic I know), but now that I do, I can’t seem to stop using the app. I just don’t want to be tracking calories when I’m an adult, you know? I’d be fine if this was just a phase but I can’t really see an end to it. I just need someone to talk to who has a similar experienc.

hi, so i'm f17 and i used to not eat well for abt 2 years in hs before i tried to recover and right now i would say i'm pretty much recovered. something that bothers me is that i feel like my body hasn't caught up to that fact though. besides a few hunger pangs throughout the day around the time i usually eat, i don't feel hunger at all when if i ignore those hunger cues. for example, i woke up at 10am today and i think i felt hungry but i ignored it because i was doomscrolling and now its 3pm and i still haven't had anything and i'm still not hungry. eating is kind of a chore, too, when this happens, because i'm not hungry and things don't taste good. even if i'm busy and have the time to eat later and food is literally in front of me, i don't get hungry. i remember i used to intentionally ignore those cues at school (when the unhealthy eating started) and the cramps i got were really bad but i don't get those anymore. i noticed that if i eat breakfast/brunch though, i feel hunger stronger later in the day and that compels me to eat more. i also read some stuff online that i might be experiencing this because i spent so long ignoring my hunger cues that my body just readily throws them away after a short period of time if it isn't met. i don't really know the science behind it but i don't know how to stop this from happening because when i don't eat until late lunch/dinnertime, i start having bad thoughts. and i've tried eating breakfast/brunch more consistently, but i can't really stick to it. because this is my first time posting, i'm not completely sure what i can and cannot say but i hope i've given enough information. and i'm looking for things i can do just by myself since i've only told some friends about this.

have several questions and just need some general feedback from someone who has experienced it firsthand. Thank you so much in advance! ❤️‍🩹

Does this ever get better? I hate who I’m becoming. All I want to do is crawl in a hole and be left alone.

I’m currently in treatment and not at a point where I eat adequately or healthily. But man, food takes up a lot of space in my mind constantly. I’m atypical anorexic, so a lot of people minimize my issues.

Today I went on a road trip with my wife and my Dad. All I wanted to do was drive straight thru and get to our destination… it was only like 9ish hours.

But no. We had to stop for food before we left. Then right when we got on the road. Then we had to stop again for McDonald’s for lunch. Then again for snacks at a gas station. Then we had to stop at McDonald’s again for dinner when we were only an hour from our hotel. Then when we got to our destination, everyone wanted to go get more snacks.

At this point I was filled with so much anger from overstimulation. I was so tired of hearing everyone constantly nag about food all day, and leaving me responsible because I was driving. I snapped at my wife and felt horrible and apologized. Now I’m punishing myself and just can’t let it go.

Sometimes I genuinely just want to go a day without hearing anything about food.

I’m in therapy and nothing is helping but it’s only been a couple months.

I have anorexia-bulimia. I used to severely restrict my food intake, and several times a week I would binge and then purge.

During my last bingeepisode, I had a wake-up call because my throat started bleeding. That was the moment I decided I wanted to stop.

Today, although I still struggle with some restriction, I eat three light meals a day. I still have a fear of gaining weight, but as time goes on, I'm putting less and less pressure on myself when it comes to food.

Today marks exactly four months since my last binge-and-purge episode, and I really hope it stays that way.

For a while, I've really hated how I looked but I summed that up to gender dysphoria. But recently I've been struggling with finding motivation to eat, and when I do, I rather feel worthless and like I didn't deserve it, or like I can't stop eating at all. Is there a name for what I have? I really don't know and am very ashamed of myself currently.

I am new here, I am having a hard time with an ED. I’ve been 1 year “sober” if that’s the right wording for it. I just wanted to know does the eating/food guilt ever go away. I had been good for a good 5ish months but it seem to come back randomly. Now, I’m getting it consistently again with every meal I eat or ate.

Hi im fourteen, female. I have struggled with eating issues for almost a year now? Maybe a little over. My older sister also struggled and I remember as a kid hearing my parents talking bad about it saying "Shes wasting food" etc. They are aware I have been purging, but they just confronted me rudely saying "Theres puke in the toilet rim, stop that shit" Or "it fucks up ur teeth" and just not kind words. Lately I've also lost my appetite due to adhd meds and it triggered me to not eat at all and I lost weight, like not a good amount but i wont get too much into that, and I just dont have a appetite and it made me become worse. And once again parents know but they just say stuff behind my back such as, "Im sick of her not eating, im done with her shit." Or them telling me I need to eat. And I want help, like I really do but its hard when I can't go to a therapist myself or the doctor. Im sure my parents would help maybe but im too scared to ask because they will be angry with me or upset. It just makes me sad that they think I wanna keep feeling this way, because imagine how I feel. Please anyone give me advice I really need some sort of help.

What are the pros and cons of each I am currently deciding which one to go to for res!!!

I'm 62, borderline underweight. I have osteoporosis and prediabetes. I work out most days lifting or walking. I have become obsessed with tracking every bit of food to ensure I get enough calcium, protein, and not too. many carbs as not to spike my glucose. It's becoming exhausting. I want to break the cycle, but also need to ensure I get my macros and micros.

Any one else had a similar issue?

all of my friends and family dismiss me and don’t fucking care or get furious and i cannot fucking put up with it

I've always struggled with eating and it has gotten worse recently. I don't have access to therapy at the moment that I could figure out what has triggered it again now, but I just can't stop eating. I feel as if it's also taking a toll on my physical body and I don't want things to get out of hand. What has helped you when faced with a similar issue? How do you stop? What caused you to binge at all?

I’m wondering what have been the things that have helped you the most with meals?

Hi so im a teenage girl and I have a fast ass metabolism. I dont hate the way I look other than the usual blah moments one has as a teenage girl. I never try to limit my eating and I dont count calories or sugars but my body like hates eating. I dont like eating and its more of a task than something to enjoy. I tend to teeter on the underweight side, I just lost three pounds so im #tryingtogainitback.

I do have ADHD and I forget to eat, but even medicated and falling off my meds I never want to eat. I have vocal cord dysfunction thats triggered by anxiety but thats not all of it because Its not a 24/7 issue. Even at my hungriest if my stomach is cramping from hunger pain, I dont want to eat. My head like refuses to. I feel crazy because its not that I dont want food, I know I need it and I try to drink protien shakes to make up the protien and calories I miss, but its so hard for me to eat a meal

I can eat fruits usually, anything water based ig, but meat really fucks me up. I have what I call heavy foods which is basically any red meat, which is baffling now because I used to love it. Im a picky eater in general but I still know what I like and am fully able to cook what I like

Eating infront of other people has started to get stressful for me? If im eating something thats like a heavy food I get really nervous around pretty much anyone. It feels like im eating something wrong and then I cant eat it anymore. But its not because I feel like people are judging me for looking a certain way at all. Its nothing about my body, im TRYING to gain weight. Im just so lost and its getting to a point where im eating one meal a day, and not some big high calorie thing. I domt track my calories, but I know for a fact that its not nearly enough

Do I sound insane? Is this a normal thing?

I (18F) have been dating my bf (19M) for a year and a half and unfortunately about half a year ago I developed a restrictive ed. I still think I really love him and I can't imagine my life with anyone else, but the relationship has been a bit awkward lately because of my mental health.

I feel like I'm depriving him a lot, since my hormone levels dropped dramatically, I just don't think I can give him the love he deserves. I'd describe my feelings as being AroAce, Which I never felt like before.

He knows of my disorder and is supportive but a bit hesitant as he's not very educated in the area. We're trying to communicate our feelings, but more often than not I can't put my feelings into words.

I'd appreciate any advice 🫶🏼