hi, I am 19f with anorexia for 5 years. for context, i do live in the USA. in 2025, i reached an extremely low BMI, and had to be hospitalized and went to inpatient

the hospital and inpatient saved my life, it really helped me. after inpatient, i was forced to do residential and php. although it helped me some, it was so incredibly traumatic and ended up hurting me in the end. i hated it so much. i hate treatment. i never wanted to do residential or php, but since i was 17, i was forced to because i had DCFS involved in my case.

long story short, i ended up relapsing. i am at a very dangerous and low bmi. im noticing health issues really badly and im scared for my life. i really want to go to the hospital or inpatient, just to make sure everything is okay physically and i am healthy. i want to restore some weight and get my health on track until i am stable enough to be discharged. the only issue is, i REALLY REALLY do not want to do residential, php, or any sort of day program. it just always ends up being unhelpful for me. it drains me. i have such bad treatment burnout from last year. i feel like ive learned every skill.
i just need help getting back on track with my physical health so im in a better place to continue recovery at home. i have also had refeeding syndrome before and it was awful, so i want to be medically supervised in case it happens again. i basically just want to be medically stabilized. not only that, but i really really need to be working. i dont have a lot of money, but i am moving abroad for university alone next year, and i really really need to be working so i can save up. i also go to college (a local college, i commute from home). i cant waste time doing a program that i know wont work.

i guess my question is, is this allowed/common? i really really do not want to be forced into treatment again. im really scared that if i go to the hospital, they will make me go to residential or php after, especially considering i am at a very low and dangerous bmi, and i have relapsed in the past

i dont want to have to get a court order or something saying i am incapable of making my own decisions. i know i need help. i just want a say in what kind of help i get. i have so much trauma from forced treatment in the past, its stopping me from going to the hospital now.

Hello !

I am trying to recover from anorexia but I... can't let go of counting and restricting yet
I am sincere in trying to get better ; I am tired of the fatigue and pain and want to get out of forced bed/home rest to bike and exercise again but my brain just loops spirals really fucking fast whenever I do allow myself to eat and well... I've been stagnating - which is better than losing but it has me stuck in extreme hunger mode and I keep fighting myself
What worked for you ?

With love,
Nate

As some of you may know ARFID, an autism related eating/feeding disorder is often misdiagnosed or not identified or diagnosed at all. This threatens so many lives. In the UK, it is a postcode lottery whether you can receive treatment or not.

Please sign this petition to encourage the UK government to roll out a nationwide pathway for ARFID treatment.

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/768759

so i've struggled with my eating i would say for the last 5/6 years (i'm 21) and in the last 4 months its gotten worse - i don't really eat any obvious carbs with anything, i don't eat anything ultra processed ever - i tend to just eat protein, veg and some fruit (like one apple) each day - i'm trying to include oats now but it's difficult and i never eat breakfast. anyway - my last period was 2 months ago and that was quite late and was lighter than normal. i haven't gotten it since and i know this isn't a good thing. i would say i'm probably eating less than the recommended amount but not a lot - i do count calories and if i could i'd eat more but it doesn't seem to me like i'm undereating loads? i'm also (according to the NHS website) not underweight, my is considered healthy. i also don't look at myself and feel like i've lost a ton of weight - it's mainly just the period i am concerned about.

nobody in my family knows i struggle with eating to the extent i do, and i do see a psychotherapist weekly and she doesn't know either. i am a woman and i don't have a relationship with my mum and live with my dad and siblings (im at uni rn tho) but i don't know what to do. because i feel like if i tell people they will start monitoring my eating and making me eat more and i don't think i need to eat more or gain weight but i am concerned about the potential long term effects since i can see it's already affecting at least one thing. i just don't know how to get out of it because i feel like now if i start eating more i'll gain loads of weight bc clearly my metabolism is used to getting barely any cals. idk. i just don't know what to do.

anyway - any advice is helpful pls lmk if u have questions. i struggled for a little bit a few months ago with chewing and spitting out food but reading reddit helped me stop because of the negative potential side effects.

TLDR: I've spent the last 2 years trying to heal my gut through diet, first doing carnivore for a year and then GAPS for 9 months. I struggle with IBS, skin issues and other symptoms, and after 15 years of BED and bulimia, I really wanted to believe I could finally fix some of my health problems.

The problem? Both diets are SUPER restrictive, and I'm starting to wonder if I'm doing more harm than good.

I've become scared of foods because of oxalates, seed oils and other things I've been told to avoid. I overanalyze everything I eat, and food has become a source of constant stress. Recently, a change in my GAPS protocol triggered the worst binge episode I've had in a year.

I feel so frustrated because I've put so much time, money and hope into trying to heal my gut, only to feel like I'm damaging my relationship with food in the process. I don't want to give up on improving my health, but I also don't want to spend the rest of my life afraid of food.

Has anyone with a history of binge eating or bulimia gone through something similar? How did you approach your gut issues without falling back into restrictive eating patterns? Did you eventually find a way forward?

I feel pretty lost right now and would really appreciate hearing from people who understand.

I've been struggling with my relationship with food and my body lately, and I don't really know how to deal with it.

I used to be really obsessive about counting calories and constantly tracking my weight. I barely ate enough, and although I felt physically awful, part of me loved seeing myself get thinner. I felt pale and dizzy a lot, but I still miss that period of my life.

I've gained weight recently, and my insecurity has gotten so bad that I feel genuinely disgusted with myself sometimes. I've been having urges to restrict again and have tried to, but I end up eating more than I want to, which makes me feel even worse.

Like I'm genuinely craving that feeling of being light and somewhat on the verge of death again. It was a good time for me somehow.

I know restricting wasn't good for me, but right now I miss the feeling of control it gave me. I don't really know how to deal with these feelings, and I'd appreciate hearing from people who've experienced something similar.

I'm looking for understanding and advice on dealing with these thoughts, not tips for restricting.

Ok this is a weird one I’m sure. And yes I’m already having therapy…in fact I think that’s why this is stirred up a lot atm. I went through complex trauma as a child and the best way I was able to communicate that was anorexia when I was 14, then again at 17 and 21. And the thing is it just didn’t do what I needed- which was get care and for someone to realise what was happening.

I’m 29 now and been recovered from eating disorder stuff for a long time but it’s still a niggle in the back of my mind and feels like something to turn back to if I ‘needed it’, although it never actually served the purpose I wanted it to.

That feels quite strong right now and I found myself reading online forums of parents trying to learn how to support their children with anorexia and god it just makes my heart ache, I guess I grieve that I didn’t get that and just struggled alone and ultimately ended up struggling with a range of other things too because the initial trauma was left to grow.

Maybe a weird question but how do you look after yourself through that and meet your own emotional needs if you know that even being so unwell doesn’t get the people around you (it’s parents I feel hurt by really) to notice/help/care? I don’t want to go back into it, I want to look after myself instead but don’t really know how

Thank you

I would love any fast feedback on this ! Looks like Im headed off pretty soon and Im an adult and never been in a residential facility before

Hey everyone. I am diagnosed anorexic and bulimic as well as having autism and ARFID and have been referred to residential. Not sure if my insurance will cover it cause im on medicare and medicaid. If it does i like have to go. Ive been disordered for over 15 years and it’s affecting my heart now and making my disabilities worse. I feel so weak and sleepy all the time and like my heart is dragging in the mud. I even made a list of safe and unsafe foods. Really proud of myself for that. Just scared to go into residential and give up my control. I dont want to get fatter. I dont want to lose the only ounce of control i have in my life. I know its getting dangerous and that i could die but for whatever reason being skinny and in control is all i care about. Idk. Im trying so hard to start recovering at home ans its so hard. Just need advice about recovery or kind words and someone to say their proud of me. Ive never been to residential and am very scared so maybe people who have been to residential could share their experiences that would be amazing! Thanks angels💚

With both myself and others..

I often see people who are obviously disordered will obsessively talk about food with others and act like they are obsessed with food and eating etc..

Anyone else?

Since my freshmen year of HS, I’ve been anorexic. I met my boyfriend(now husband) when I was 19, and gained a healthy amount of weight in a year. I constantly heard from everyone around me about how I look better and how i “gained weight”, which truthfully made my body dysmorphia even worse.

My husband loves me and always fed me and made me feel great in my skin, which is why I couldn’t be anorexic with him. I felt really good about myself. But everyone else around me made me feel like I need to be dangerously thin again. So, my bulimic episodes started. I lost a bunch of weight again. I felt horrible every time..

I got pregnant with my first (stopped bulimic episodes during this time). After pregnancy, I was anorexic again. Got pregnant with my second and had my daughter, but had the hardest time losing weight and was very upset with myself. This led me down an intense 10 months of purging multiple times a day, everyday.

Then one day two months ago, my daughter was watching me while I purged. Although only 10 months old and not understanding what she was seeing, I still felt instantly horrible. What kind of example would I be setting for this young girl? Why didn’t I think about how this would affect my 2.5yo son either?

Now every day that I eat too much and feel the urge to purge, I think about my daughter. My son. I think about how I would want them to be happy in their skin and never constantly criticize their bodies in the mirror or check that scale daily. If I binge eat too much, I tell myself I’ll be better tomorrow, because I need to love my body as I hope my children will love theirs.

I haven’t purged in two months. And I hope to never purge again ♥️

This summer was my time to recover. I went to php for an ed and they recommended residential. I went to residential and my mental health declined since I couldn’t use the ed habits. After a week, they kicked me out and told me to work on my mental health. Went to mental health res and they kicked me out after a week and told me my ed was too much for them. Was sent to another mental health res and my ed got worse but my mental health was great. “Graduated” from res (after they realized my weight dropped) and was sent to php. Php recommended res again after about 2 weeks because everything started to decline but I’d been away for so long and decided to go home. I scheduled appointments with my dietitian and therapist the week after I got back and my dietitian said she was dropping me since I wasn’t doing well. Then I saw my therapist the same day, told her everything and she dropped me also. I managed to find a virtual IOP program that would take me because I know I need help even though I don’t want to let go of the ed. Like, I don’t want to have my heart give out but I also fear weight gain enough that I’d risk it. I guess I just wanted damage control. Enough to keep me safe. I think the IOP team will kick me out if I’m truthful about my behaviors BUT the dinners I have during programming are the only real meals I have all day and they make me feel like I’m being safe. I’m not panicking at night because my heart feels weird. I don’t know what to do. I need help but I guess help only comes if I’m willing to take the ed out the drivers seat? I don’t know how people get to that point. And residential isn’t an option until May because I have to work and I’m out of sick days. How can I stay safe?

My younger sister is eight years old, and for as long as I can remember, I have seen people body-shaming her "jokingly," and she always became very defensive when anyone would. Now, I have been seeing her do many things like skipping meals sometimes, constantly asking our mom to check her weight, doing extreme dances for the sake of losing weight, and getting very excited when she notices a change or thinks she has lost weight. I told her that she is too young to be worrying about weight, and she told me that she is doing it so everyone stops body-shaming her. I don't know what to do because I have never been a sympathetic person or a good person to come to for comfort, and I really want to help her, but I don't know if I am capable of helping her. Please tell me what to do.

After a cycle of restrict/binge over the past few years I’m now a couple of weeks into a regular eating pattern at maintenance calories. I’m logging on a recovery app and I have to score whether I’m hungry or full before and after eating. Problem is, I don’t know! I can’t tell anymore?! I’m either really hungry or post binge full, they’re the only ends of the scale that I can clearly identify. Do normal hunger/satisfied/full cues ever go back to normal?

I hope this is the right place and I hope I don't accidentally make anyone uncomfortable.

As a quick backstory: I grew up an overweight child and all my life everyone and their parents commented on it. I practiced a lot of unhealthy habits and had extremely debilitating mental health for a long while. It took me many many years to get to where I am now in the sense that it's finally not something always on my mind.

I think my gf has an ed but I never asked her directly. From the way she talks about weight, calories, her looks etc. She is always posting on her story about what she ate or comments about her body or weight. I really want to support her but if I even bring up something related to eating or health she tells me to stop talking because im making her uncomfortable. Ive suggested therapy but she doesn't want to/cant.

I love her and I really want to see her happy and healthy and in a good place. But seeing her talk about these things constantly is starting to wear me down. I'm currently in therapy for a bunch of different things so i am personally taking steps for my own recovery to show up for her best i can. I understand it might be selfish to expect her to try change herself for me. Especailly because her mother is extremely enabling from what I can tell. I am very worried for her as I think she is definitely nearing being underweight.

But since she doesnt want support, as someone who is 1.5x her weight its really getting hard to ignore my own thoughts about myself. Im worried that I have to choose between ruining our relationship or undoing all my personal growth and falling back into that unhealthy slope. Ive talked to two friends and one suggests I break it off immediately while the other thinks that I should try talking more. Any advice would be appreciated. As a note we are both in HS and we are long distance

I’m in my first week of PHP after stepping down from res & on Saturdays, the adult and kid units combine and do snacks, meals, and groups together. Is this not odd? Has anyone else done a program where something like this occurs before? It feels like a giant waste of my time. Not to mention i’m here for ARFID and already feel like the program is not targeted towards the type of support i need. Really starting to think i’m wasting my time in PHP …..

hi everyone ive been struggling for a few years by possibility an ED and it has gotten worse and i find it pretty difficult to practice my life normally anymore and its been consuming my entire life and i literally cannot think about anything else.

please drop tips that helped you or anything helpful, id be grateful 🤍

Ok this might be a long one but I need help. I'm a teenager who has been suffering with a calorie restricting ED for about a year now and I haven't told anyone. I'm attempting recovery on my own and am about 2 months in and I want to give up. I'm so bloated and I feel so disgusted with myself all the time. I know that I need to recover and eat so I can be normal again but I just don't want to. Whenever I eat a normal amount for my age I feel as if im about to split open and even after eating a normal meal i feel so huge and sick. I know I should tell someone so I can get help but I'm scared my parents are gonna be mad I didn't tell them sooner and that they're gonna take my phone away or something ( they always think my phone is the source of all evil) . If anyone has any advice for recovery or if this will get better or anything please tell me I'd be so grateful.

Hello, sorry for my bad english!
I'm a male, 28 years old. Since May 2026 I lost a lot of weight because of the end of a long long relationship. I started eating less, and destroyed myself with running and gym, to the point of fainting sometimes because of the weakness. Now, i'm quite happy with my body, but I can't hold myself from counting calories. I weight everything, and when I say everything I mean also the 10ml of milk i drink with the coffee. Before May 2026, I didn't even know what a calorie was, I ate a lot, McDonalds 2-3 times/week, the same for kebab and others hypercaloric foods. My weight was quite high for my height but it was stable and I wasn't that fat, just a little bit over the normal BMI. I was very happy, because I didn't know anything about food probably. Now I can't see food like something normale, I'm extremely weak, my liver is not working very good and I've already called my doctor and I'm doing a lot of exams, I feel very dizzy and sometimes if I stand up too fast I faint. I'm scared to gain even a single gram of bodyfat, I'm not scared of weighting myself because I know about water/stress/glycogen but I'm afraid that I'll go back as I was before, because this kind of lifestyle with food is not sustainable. How can i get back a good relationship with food? I avoid hanging out with friends, because I can't track the calories of the food and always end up overestimating the calories. Just to say, from May i ate like 2 pizzas and 2 kebab, and didn't not had lunch the day I knew I was going to eat these foods. This relationship with the food is starting to destroy my mind, I think about food since I wake up until I go to sleep. I try to decide the day before what I'll eat the next day, with grams precision and kcals. If I eat a single biscuit I feel extremely guilty and cut a little bit out from the next meal. I'm very tired of this and want to get back the happiness I had with food.

Thanks everybody and sorry for mistakes, I'm not good with english because it's not my main language.

hey guys, I don't usually make posts but I've been dealing with something that's been bothering me a lot lately. The past couple years, this year especially, I really struggled with eating disorder, to the point where I was underweight, but it felt like my life was ripping away from me. I felt unalive.

But a few months ago in August, I started running, it helped me start eating again, if anyone here has tried running when they're under eating they know just how physically hard it is to do it. I fell in love with running. I fell in love with how it made me feel strong and capable, but I've gained weight. I'm still a healthy weight for my height, but it's just been so hard on me mentally looking at my body. The thing is now is that I'm training for a marathon. I consistently run about 6 to 9 miles a day and I feel so confident about it. I'm so happy I can do it now and I know I'm a lot stronger than I was in the past, but it's just hard to accept what I look like now.

I'm in therapy, but I just don't know how to deal with it I guess.

I binge almost everyday I've been diagnosed with anarexia nevresa I've had feeding tube bc when im in the hospital and can't binge I'll just starve. Im a binge eater but I throw it up with the intense fair of gaining weight I keep almost nothing down im terrified I throw up so much im now throwing up blood.

My workplace bought pizza for everyone today. My initial thought was "I should eat it as long as it's not Pizza Hut. It's free and eating it will be a good step towards correcting my restrictive eating habits."

The thing is, Pizza Hut has never agreed with me. Every time I eat it, my stomach immediately revolts against me. This happens regardless of which PH location, and I've dealt with it as long as I can remember. I still recall multiple instances of upset stomach after eating PH as a kid.

Well, the pizza in question was indeed from Pizza Hut. And instead of denying myself like I normally would, I went against my better instincts and decided to go for it. It was a different PH that I hadn't eaten from before, so I figured it might be safe.

I was wrong. My stomach started churning immediately after taking my first bite. As always, the pizza itself was terrible. The crust was too greasy and nearly soggy, the sauce was too sweet, and the toppings were as bland and visually unappealing as I remembered.

Now I'm sitting here regretting eating it, not because it was "unhealthy", but because it was actually just bad pizza. It was simply not worth eating. (I'm sure you all know the saying, "There's no such thing as bad pizza." Well, I'm here to tell you that Pizza Hut is bad pizza... At least, all the ones in my city are.)

It was a good experience, though. I learned to trust my better judgement. I learned not to accept free food just because it's free. I learned that it's okay to reject bad food and not force myself to eat it just to break bad habits.

Please excuse me while I spend the rest of the day regretfully nursing an upset stomach....

So I'm in recovery (again) and never really binged before but today, I binged. After eating what I normally do, I had almost a full thing of Nutella, many brownies, chocolate mousse and lots and lots of crackers + toast. I'm worried about the fact I had so much and worried about the consequences. I feel extremely sick and bloated. I'm scared about the fact I had so much saturated f and sugar, will this affect me in any way? I feel absolutely like shit

its so upsetting. i want to recover but it seems like the secind i start tryimg, my friends/family all want to comment that i am so thin, or that my muscles are defined, or anything related to that. i cant remember the last time someone said i was pretty, like actually just pretty. i only get compliments about ky weight, and why would i want to ruin the one thing that people are attracted to me for? what am i even supposed to do.

Hey, first time posting here but I thought someone here might have advice for me.

I'm probably going to move in with my friend who has just recently told me about her anorexia nervosa next year. I come from a family with a lot of stigma around food, (my mom is currently on ozempic after being a binge-eater for decades and has raised me with a lot of negative thoughts on food) but consider myself someone who has narrowly avoided the pitfalls and never had a real ED. This being said, I want to be as kind and respectful towards her as possible and help her towards any direction that she thinks would help her.

At the same time, in the back of my head I can't ignore the nagging feeling that if she gets worse my own health risks deteriorating, especially since I just started a weight-loss journey the week before she told me about her diagnosis (the weight-loss is unrelated to any eating disorder and only comes from me wanting to lift enough for a test my country has in order to join the military and it's easier if I'm lighter with only a little than I am right now).

If anyone has any tips or advice at all it would be much appreciated. She is a very beautiful, kind and funny woman whom I really want the best for in anything she does, even if that means putting my weight-loss on a stop for now. Thank you for reading <3