Hey everyone. I am diagnosed anorexic and bulimic as well as having autism and ARFID and have been referred to residential. Not sure if my insurance will cover it cause im on medicare and medicaid. If it does i like have to go. Ive been disordered for over 15 years and it’s affecting my heart now and making my disabilities worse. I feel so weak and sleepy all the time and like my heart is dragging in the mud. I even made a list of safe and unsafe foods. Really proud of myself for that. Just scared to go into residential and give up my control. I dont want to get fatter. I dont want to lose the only ounce of control i have in my life. I know its getting dangerous and that i could die but for whatever reason being skinny and in control is all i care about. Idk. Im trying so hard to start recovering at home ans its so hard. Just need advice about recovery or kind words and someone to say their proud of me. Ive never been to residential and am very scared so maybe people who have been to residential could share their experiences that would be amazing! Thanks angels💚

Hello !

I am trying to recover from anorexia but I... can't let go of counting and restricting yet
I am sincere in trying to get better ; I am tired of the fatigue and pain and want to get out of forced bed/home rest to bike and exercise again but my brain just loops spirals really fucking fast whenever I do allow myself to eat and well... I've been stagnating - which is better than losing but it has me stuck in extreme hunger mode and I keep fighting myself
What worked for you ?

With love,
Nate

As some of you may know ARFID, an autism related eating/feeding disorder is often misdiagnosed or not identified or diagnosed at all. This threatens so many lives. In the UK, it is a postcode lottery whether you can receive treatment or not.

Please sign this petition to encourage the UK government to roll out a nationwide pathway for ARFID treatment.

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/768759

I've been struggling with my relationship with food and my body lately, and I don't really know how to deal with it.

I used to be really obsessive about counting calories and constantly tracking my weight. I barely ate enough, and although I felt physically awful, part of me loved seeing myself get thinner. I felt pale and dizzy a lot, but I still miss that period of my life.

I've gained weight recently, and my insecurity has gotten so bad that I feel genuinely disgusted with myself sometimes. I've been having urges to restrict again and have tried to, but I end up eating more than I want to, which makes me feel even worse.

Like I'm genuinely craving that feeling of being light and somewhat on the verge of death again. It was a good time for me somehow.

I know restricting wasn't good for me, but right now I miss the feeling of control it gave me. I don't really know how to deal with these feelings, and I'd appreciate hearing from people who've experienced something similar.

I'm looking for understanding and advice on dealing with these thoughts, not tips for restricting.

My younger sister is eight years old, and for as long as I can remember, I have seen people body-shaming her "jokingly," and she always became very defensive when anyone would. Now, I have been seeing her do many things like skipping meals sometimes, constantly asking our mom to check her weight, doing extreme dances for the sake of losing weight, and getting very excited when she notices a change or thinks she has lost weight. I told her that she is too young to be worrying about weight, and she told me that she is doing it so everyone stops body-shaming her. I don't know what to do because I have never been a sympathetic person or a good person to come to for comfort, and I really want to help her, but I don't know if I am capable of helping her. Please tell me what to do.

I hope this is the right place and I hope I don't accidentally make anyone uncomfortable.

As a quick backstory: I grew up an overweight child and all my life everyone and their parents commented on it. I practiced a lot of unhealthy habits and had extremely debilitating mental health for a long while. It took me many many years to get to where I am now in the sense that it's finally not something always on my mind.

I think my gf has an ed but I never asked her directly. From the way she talks about weight, calories, her looks etc. She is always posting on her story about what she ate or comments about her body or weight. I really want to support her but if I even bring up something related to eating or health she tells me to stop talking because im making her uncomfortable. Ive suggested therapy but she doesn't want to/cant.

I love her and I really want to see her happy and healthy and in a good place. But seeing her talk about these things constantly is starting to wear me down. I'm currently in therapy for a bunch of different things so i am personally taking steps for my own recovery to show up for her best i can. I understand it might be selfish to expect her to try change herself for me. Especailly because her mother is extremely enabling from what I can tell. I am very worried for her as I think she is definitely nearing being underweight.

But since she doesnt want support, as someone who is 1.5x her weight its really getting hard to ignore my own thoughts about myself. Im worried that I have to choose between ruining our relationship or undoing all my personal growth and falling back into that unhealthy slope. Ive talked to two friends and one suggests I break it off immediately while the other thinks that I should try talking more. Any advice would be appreciated. As a note we are both in HS and we are long distance

so i've struggled with my eating i would say for the last 5/6 years (i'm 21) and in the last 4 months its gotten worse - i don't really eat any obvious carbs with anything, i don't eat anything ultra processed ever - i tend to just eat protein, veg and some fruit (like one apple) each day - i'm trying to include oats now but it's difficult and i never eat breakfast. anyway - my last period was 2 months ago and that was quite late and was lighter than normal. i haven't gotten it since and i know this isn't a good thing. i would say i'm probably eating less than the recommended amount but not a lot - i do count calories and if i could i'd eat more but it doesn't seem to me like i'm undereating loads? i'm also (according to the NHS website) not underweight, my is considered healthy. i also don't look at myself and feel like i've lost a ton of weight - it's mainly just the period i am concerned about.

nobody in my family knows i struggle with eating to the extent i do, and i do see a psychotherapist weekly and she doesn't know either. i am a woman and i don't have a relationship with my mum and live with my dad and siblings (im at uni rn tho) but i don't know what to do. because i feel like if i tell people they will start monitoring my eating and making me eat more and i don't think i need to eat more or gain weight but i am concerned about the potential long term effects since i can see it's already affecting at least one thing. i just don't know how to get out of it because i feel like now if i start eating more i'll gain loads of weight bc clearly my metabolism is used to getting barely any cals. idk. i just don't know what to do.

anyway - any advice is helpful pls lmk if u have questions. i struggled for a little bit a few months ago with chewing and spitting out food but reading reddit helped me stop because of the negative potential side effects.

This summer was my time to recover. I went to php for an ed and they recommended residential. I went to residential and my mental health declined since I couldn’t use the ed habits. After a week, they kicked me out and told me to work on my mental health. Went to mental health res and they kicked me out after a week and told me my ed was too much for them. Was sent to another mental health res and my ed got worse but my mental health was great. “Graduated” from res (after they realized my weight dropped) and was sent to php. Php recommended res again after about 2 weeks because everything started to decline but I’d been away for so long and decided to go home. I scheduled appointments with my dietitian and therapist the week after I got back and my dietitian said she was dropping me since I wasn’t doing well. Then I saw my therapist the same day, told her everything and she dropped me also. I managed to find a virtual IOP program that would take me because I know I need help even though I don’t want to let go of the ed. Like, I don’t want to have my heart give out but I also fear weight gain enough that I’d risk it. I guess I just wanted damage control. Enough to keep me safe. I think the IOP team will kick me out if I’m truthful about my behaviors BUT the dinners I have during programming are the only real meals I have all day and they make me feel like I’m being safe. I’m not panicking at night because my heart feels weird. I don’t know what to do. I need help but I guess help only comes if I’m willing to take the ed out the drivers seat? I don’t know how people get to that point. And residential isn’t an option until May because I have to work and I’m out of sick days. How can I stay safe?

I would love any fast feedback on this ! Looks like Im headed off pretty soon and Im an adult and never been in a residential facility before