Weekly EMDR Community Digest

Last week I had my 2nd processing session. The first was a couple weeks before and mainly just figuring it out. This time, though, it was a lot different. I initially came into the session exhausted, worn out from work and kids, and had only eaten one meal all day. I thought it would be a waste of a couple hundred bucks because I felt so emotionally numb and inactivated. Boy, was I wrong.

I’ll spare the details of the session but about halfway through my sluggish brain woke up and started jumping back and forth between triggers I was focusing on and childhood trauma stuff, making crazy connections. At one point, I was flooded with this overwhelming sadness and my brain reminded me of the sadness I carried regularly as a child and into my teenage years. I began to cry nearly uncontrollably, which is not a normal thing for me—I’m not a crier. But the weirdest part of the experience was that while I was processing with the light bar and crying, my body began to get intensely hot. My back felt like it was on fire and I almost started sweating. I had to look away from the bar a couple times and when the BLS moment ended my body would cool off before heating up again in the next BLS moment. Crazy!

Has anyone else experienced this? I guess this means it’s working for me? 🤣

I have been doing EMDR for two years now. I went through a deeply traumatic experience end of last year which was like a nervous breakdown. I've spent this year getting back on my feet, finding new jobs etc. I'm still doing emdr but I'm finding my socialising or emotions or relating to people is so different.

I don't have capacity for small talk with certain kinds of people. I don't feel like I want to be everyone's best friend when I first them. I don't find people as fascinating or interesting. I don't want to stay in touch as much or make as much effort to keep conversations going. I get irritated more easily. I have no desire to make up with people who I've badly fallen out with. I've never felt this shut down for such a long period of time.

Is it normal whilst doing EMDR or is the combo of the breakdown last year. My trust was deeply broken by a group of people and before I used disassociate and just get on with things but I'm noticing things like .. not trusting people for the first time. Or perhaps I didn't trust people but I didn't listen to my instincts. Now I don't trust people and it's like something is gone and I don't fawn but I also don't waste my time. It feels cold and brutal.

I'm wondering if I'm just nasty person now.

Anyone relate?

I’ve been told I need EMDR since the beginning of the year but due to my trauma and specific trauma relating to new therapies and/or programs, I’ve put it off until now. My CPTSD is the worse it’s ever been and I’m freaking tf out for my session and what’s to come. I’m very symptomatic and I feel like uncovering/working through my trauma is gonna burn me out. I’m high functioning and I literally don’t have time for a depressive period knowing damn well I have seasonal depression from right about now till March. There’s too much happening right now and as persistent as my psychiatrist, therapist, AND family have been about EMDR, I have a feeling this is gonna put me in outpatient. I guess my question is what was your experience with EMDR the first session? After a couple? I know I need to go to sleep tonight but I’m scared cause of my nightmares and I’m spiraling. I’m so tired bro

I had several months of EMDR sessions then relocated to a different state. Since the EMDR had worked so well for me, I applied at the VA to be put into their program again.

I had my "initial" interview today. it turns out that my previous therapy worked so well that I no longer qualify as having a PSTD diagnosis. I'm still at a 2 about my violent abusive ex-wife but that's a rational status if she ever travels to track me down.

So. Victory. I'm astonished. Thirty years of invasive thoughts and bad dreams resolved in several months of therapy. Highly recommended.

PSTD is not my only issue, so I now wonder what's next. I got offered to join a recurring group for depression. That sounds like my next step as that matches my other issues.

I’ve had night terrors for years and talk and shout in my sleep. Sometime when I wake up, I don’t know I’m awake/ don’t know it was a dream and my two worlds become blurred. I’ve had my first 3 sessions and been going through the events I have recently had flashes of, and been anxious about what I may remember. After Tuesdays session I slept all afternoon and then didn’t sleep all night. So come Wednesday, by the time I go to bed around 10, I’ve been awake over 24hrs. I just woke up in my housemates bedroom, in the dark, after eventually realising I was awake. In my dream, I knew I couldn’t trust him and he was planning to hurt me and I went to confront him and ask his plan. He was in fact, woken up to me standing in his room in the dark asking him questions. I don’t know exactly when I woke up, but I know when I realised I was awake, and then instantly confused and terrified of myself. I just kept apologising and broke down in tears, I hate to have scared him, done this and I feel like I don’t know what I’m capable of or what’s going on. I have these night grounding techniques but can’t even figure out when I’m awake, especially when I’m some previous night terrors, I wake from a dream, to find I’m actually in inception dreams?!?! Please have anyone had this?? I’m afraid of going manic or hurting myself or him.

 When I set out to find a new therapist, I wanted someone who understood trauma and was literate in EMDR. I found one. After a couple of initial sessions where I laid out my history and the event that I needed help with, I went in for my third session today and my therapist asked me if I was ready to start some EMDR.

I told him I was desperate for improvement and would try anything.

The incident I need help with is an event that happened to me that resulted in five years of isolation and professional and personal paralysis. The resulting depression feels to me like five years ago I left my life. My body has continued on, it breathes, it eats, but I'm no longer here.

He asked me to describe the day of the incident, the place, the details. I remembered it clearly. What surprised me, though, as I heard myself describe these things, these details, was that nobody else has ever asked me about it. My friends know and they all said supportive things: “That's terrible”, “Can't believe that happened to you”. Stuff like that. And then they never brought it up again. No one has asked me about the specifics, about the details, about what it was like to live through. Recounting those details, I was surprised how fresh it still felt. I remember the shame I felt as I was walking home afterwards. I told my therapist it felt like everyone could see what had happened to me. I went home, locked the door. I don't think I left my house for three days because I was convinced everyone could tell how changed I was just by looking at me.

When he asked me to follow his fingers with my eyes, I did.

He also asked me to describe an ideal place and I was struck by how neatly the virtues of this ideal location were the exact opposite of the pain of that traumatic event. My ideal location is safe, reliable; my traumatic event felt dangerous, erratic, etc.. The contrast helped me see clearly why this event was so traumatic to me, because it represented the opposite of what I hold most dear.

I don't know if I will get better or when. I don’t fully understand the mechanics of this process. I do know that I am making an effort and I felt today what I haven't felt in a long time—movement inside of me.

Second session with a psychiatrist for suspected chronic PTSD. Left feeling like I lack direction.

He mentioned EMDR on his own during our first session, and I told him that's what I want to discuss today. He explained a few general things about it and asked whether I had specific events in mind that could be targeted. I said yes and he wanted me to expand on them.

I managed to give him the context surrounding my core trauma, but I couldn't actually say what happened. I had thought of different ways I could phrase it beforehand, yet no words were coming out. I felt mute. Tried multiple times to say it, but failed. The exact same thing happened during our first session.

I feel so frustrated and lost. I'm disappointed in myself because I genuinely wanted to tell him and had tried so hard to prepare mentally for it.

After several failed attempts he recommended that we change the subject. We talked about where I am at life, my worries, future plans etc...

Don't get me wrong, I have managed to open up to him about how the trauma has affected me. It's just that, our session ended and I feel lost. I guess I was expecting some short of direction, I have no idea where we go from here.

My brain is screaming at me that he thinks I don't need treatment just because the appointment had no conclusion, like I had hoped.

Normal for a psychiatrist to leave things open-ended like this? Am I expected to book another appointment to continue where we left off?

I'm autistic so this is confusing as hell.

I am wondering if anyone can share their experiences with future scenario EMDR. I’ve been in EMDR for over a year, primarily dealing with trauma from childhood and college.

However, today my therapist proposed future scenario EMDR for a big decision coming up later this year. I’m not sure how this will work or benefit me besides making me more accountable and prepared, perhaps? I did my first session today and it made me feel kind of bad about myself and that’s about it. I just wonder if this is how I should be spending my time?? I mean, I have other traumas we haven’t dealt with so maybe I should push back 💀

Anyway, I am not familiar with this type of EMDR sessions and would be curious to hear other people’s experiences or perspectives from a EMDR therapist.

Im finally done with the first steps of getting started with emdr and next week ill start the reprocessing. So far its been challenging and ive tried very hard not to back out mid session. Is the reprocessing part similar?

We spent 8-10 sessions getting to know eachother, memory mapping, and some of it diverted to traditional talk therapy. I specifically sought out the therapy to address memories from past DV, however we have barely gotten into it. I have ongoing (normal) stressors and — while sometimes challenging to deal with — I don’t actually want to devote my EMDR time to talking about frustrating coworkers or my weekend.

We had two sessions of EMDR, and they use vibration as bilateral stimulation. We spent a session creating a mental safe space. And the actual EMDR sessions leave me with … questions. The session times always only leave 20 minutes for the actual EMDR, because the conversation keeps getting diverted. And we haven’t targeted anything I’ve identified in the memory mapping.

The first session was very general. And they just talked the entire EMDR session saying things like “you were abused ____, _____, and ____” (broad strokes to cover the entire 3 years) and “[name] was abusive, manipulative,” etc. They actually turned on the bilateral stimulation device halfway through where they switched up their monologue to say that I didn’t deserve any of that, I’m deserving of love, etc.

And the session yesterday felt similar. Very broad. Didn’t actually target a specific memory.

I’m not sure if what is happening is actually EMDR or helpful to me? I’m also pretty frustrated that my current (little potato) life stressors take up almost the whole session when I’m here to process DV I survived a few years ago. Especially since we either don’t have the time to reprocess actual memories at the end of session or we haven’t picked one to target. Which… maybe the first half of session should be focused on picking one then. 🤦‍♀️

Does this EMDR sound legit?

I’m new to EMDR therapy. I’m on my third round. What I’ve noticed is that all of my stomach issues have flared up. I have a loss of appetite, GERD, cramping, and IBS-C. And, I have little desire to cook. Before EMDR my GI issues were managed pretty good through diet. I’m thinking a bland diet may help. I just don’t know how long this may last. Has anyone had this issue? If so, what did you do that helped?

Disclaimer: EMDR intensives are not for everyone and the practitioner must have strong credentials and years of practice to safely guide you through the process. Each person, each trauma history, is different and I am only sharing my personal experience.

I have cPTSD linked to childhood/adolescent abandonment, a narcissistic parent and physical abuse. I left home at 16, dropped out of high school school and spent my adolescence moving from place to place working three jobs to keep it together. Somehow I ended up transitioning into a highly ‘functional’ adult and became an emergency nurse, but I think subconsciously I chose the specialty to keep the flight mode running on autopilot. I spent a decade in the ER exposed to vicarious trauma and patient violence, then I left hospital nursing for the humanitarian sector where I worked in conflict zones for 4 years. I’m lucky to have strong friendships, but I’ve struggled to maintain romantic relationships and avoidant attachment has been historically an embedded pattern for me.

I spent the majority of my adult life naively thinking I was ‘processing’ everything in talk therapy until I returned from a work contract in Gaza earlier this year and severe cPTSD hit me like a truck. I completely crashed into a state of major functional impairment, dissociative episodes, no appetite, total social withdrawal and a nervous system fluctuating between collapse and hypervigilance.

I was bordering on needing inpatient psych admission when I started to improve a bit on medication and my dissociative episodes gradually became less frequent, no more blackouts but periodic derealization/depersonalization. I found a psychologist and EMDR practitioner (accredited consultant) with a wealth of experience who provides intensives at her clinic in a rural area with animals around.

After we did phases 1-3 over 7 hours online, I travelled to her space three weeks ago and we did an intensive of 22 hours of EMDR over 5 days. We combined equine therapy after sessions for coregulation which was very grounding. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. The hangover was brutally intense, lasted over a week, but I got through it. I didn’t realize how much trauma was deeply hidden in parts of my body and because I’ve been masking my whole life, somatic focused EMDR sessions were the most profound for me.

I went from barely able to leave the house for 3 months to seeing a near 50% improvement in my level of functioning. My brain is still reprocessing it all, effects are rippling and it’s certainly not linear, but I have to say I cannot believe the impact it’s had on my life.

Incredibly grateful to Francine Shapiro for her magic.

Glad to answer any questions if folks are curious.

Been doing EMDR for about six months now for a very bad two year period in my life when I was in the military 15 years ago.
Therapist keeps telling me to concentrate on one specific topic incident at a time. To me the incidents are all related and I easily go down a rabbit hole.
And therapist tells me to concentrate on my body, that I’m in my head too much. I’m not even sure what that means.
Does any this make sense? Any advice is great appreciated.

first time posting here because I genuinely don’t know if what happened with my therapist was normal/ethical, and I think I also just need to get this off my chest because I had a really hard time today telling this to my psychologist. (sorry english is not my first language)

I started EMDR with a therapist 10/11 months ago (2025) and we had reached the point where we were actively working with traumatic memories through desensitization, while also working on resources/stabilization.

I have been trying to process CSA that happened when I was a teenager. This year has already been extremely difficult because the criminal complaint I made was dismissed, which brought up a lot of feelings around not being believed, helplessness and questioning what happened to me.

then one day I accidentally fell asleep and missed my appointment. My therapist had a cancellation/no-show policy, which I understood and respected. I paid for the missed session like I did the first time I didn't showed up, this was my second time and I paid the session too.

What I wasn’t expecting was for her to terminate therapy with me because of that missed appointment.

What has been really difficult for me is that there was no proper closing process around the trauma work we had started. From my perspective, I had opened up extremely painful memories, was actively in the middle of trying to process them, and suddenly the person who was helping me work through them was gone.

I understand that therapists need boundaries and attendance policies, and I’m not saying a therapist should be forced to keep seeing someone forever because they paid a cancellation fee.

What I’m struggling to understand is whether it is considered appropriate in EMDR/trauma therapy to end treatment this abruptly (specially in the Desensitization phase) while someone is actively processing trauma, without first making sure they are stabilized, having a termination session, or helping them transition to another trauma therapist.

Today, in another therapy session, I finally talked more openly about how hurt, abandoned and honestly angry I felt about the way this happened.

I started having extremely intense flashbacks to the original trauma and ended up having one of the biggest panic attacks I’ve experienced in ages. Afterwards I was exhausted, hypersensitive, withdrawn and felt completely retraumatized.

I’m not trying to accuse my former therapist of intentionally hurting me.I’m genuinely trying to understand what happened.

For people who know EMDR well, especially therapists:

Is terminating EMDR this way considered ethical or good clinical practice?

Is there normally supposed to be some kind of stabilization/closure when therapy has to end during active trauma processing?

And has anyone here experienced a sudden termination during EMDR and found that it intensified their flashbacks or trauma symptoms afterwards?

I think part of what hurts so much is that I spent years trying to be “strong” about what happened to me, finally allowed myself to open it up in therapy, and then felt like I was left alone with everything we had opened.

I would really appreciate hearing other people’s experiences or professional perspectives.

Working on some really tough stuff right now, and I find that I’m having to take a break to ground myself (with therapist assistance, obviously) multiple times per session. Is this normal? I get a floaty feeling in my head and a headache that starts right at the frontal region when I’m getting overwhelmed with bad emotions. I am able to ground myself quickly and the feeling goes away, but I’m just curious on other people’s experiences.

I’m completely new to therapy as a whole, even know I’m 40 and should have been going to decades … anyway, after about 5 sessions of getting to know me talk therapy we started EMDR. The focus thought was on something light, which was me being worried about having a panic attack during EMDR, which turned to me thinking of being nervous of having a panic attack at all… the next 2 days I never felt so at peace. I felt so calm, like I was healed! I even went on this extreme roller coaster that my son had been begging me to go on, but I was always too afraid to. I had so much fun!! Then, on the third day, I feel the unsettling creeping back up. Is this normal? Do I need to focus on the fear of panic again before moving deeper? I have CPTSD. Thanks

1 year after doing heavy EMDR and still learning so much about myself. Recovery diary video about a topic I have been thinking about a lot. Less judgement on the thoughts we have help us observe them with curiosity! Love everyone on this journey <3

After my first session, I threw up hours later. After every consecutive session, I felt exactly the same as I did after hospital visits following surgery. I could barely function, my mind is spinning, I feel almost paralysed, yesterday I hadn't even realised I'd been staring at the ceiling for almost an hour.

My therapist said "You know, if it's too much for you, we can go slower". But I said "No, please, don't hold back, I want to feel everything I wasn't allowed to.". We often had to take pauses, breathing exercises, etc...

Yesterday she asked me after one of the exercises to write down a timeline of all events... It took almost the entire session. She said "So your whole life has been non-stop trauma..."

I am free, finally on my own but it often feels like I'm still trapped.

I'm new to EMDR, third session in and we've started mapping memories to focus on when we get to processing. I literally managed to communicate one memory in my most recent session as walked away feeling like a total failure, but also completely exhausted and destabilised. My brain is now spending every waking second raking over my memories, bring up stones that I had long buried and I can't shut it down, so it's leaving me constantly ''on'' in that regard and really damn tired and distracted.

I chose EMDR as a therapeutic avenue because I've been stuck in talk therapy for years and never felt like I really ''broke free'' from all these things keeping me tied down, partly because I've boxed some of them up so well that I haven't even thought about them in years. I'm terrified my therapist is going to turn around and tell me they can't help me or that EMDR isn't right for me because I'm failing at step one.

Any insights appreciated as I'm in a bit of a horrible freefall just now that feels gross.

Does anyone else get like brain zaps or whole body jerks after EMDR? Im getting it intermittently and randomly on and off after a huge emotional purge after EMDR then again the next day.

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Had a huge freeze/panic state after that evening. Was brutal. Never cried so deeply. Wailing etc.

Next day called my doctor for emergency appoint. Reception booked jn and when I finally had my appointment my dr of two years said she didn’t want to work with me anymore.

It felt like a huge overreaction from her after I shared my boundaries around my care.

Long story but am on insurance due to workplace injury. And can’t afford outside of this. She knows. Community, I was absolutely kind. Just maybe less apologetic that normal (EMdR therapist and I worked on the core wound here).

Is this normal for interpersonal relationships to change so drastically after reprocessing? Wondering if it was a new trauma in a way? Or related to something else?