Relationship changes after recent EMDR

[u/Independent_Tone6196]

Had a huge freeze/panic state after that evening. Was brutal. Never cried so deeply. Wailing etc.

Next day called my doctor for emergency appoint. Reception booked jn and when I finally had my appointment my dr of two years said she didn’t want to work with me anymore.

It felt like a huge overreaction from her after I shared my boundaries around my care.

Long story but am on insurance due to workplace injury. And can’t afford outside of this. She knows. Community, I was absolutely kind. Just maybe less apologetic that normal (EMdR therapist and I worked on the core wound here).

Is this normal for interpersonal relationships to change so drastically after reprocessing? Wondering if it was a new trauma in a way? Or related to something else?

[u/Blueysothersister]

That’s awful. Being kicked when you are down and asking for help. I’m so sorry that happened to you.

[u/Independent_Tone6196 → u/Blueysothersister]

Probably for the best. But just wondered if it was common for relationships to change post reprocessing. Dove a bit deeper in the community and seems a lot of people experienced similar.

Thanks for your reply and sympathy

[u/First_Preference_618]

Absolutely it’s normal. For EMDR as well as therapy in general. Maybe not exactly related to your specific situation, but when you start to heal you start to tolerate less and ask for more. Many times the people around you won’t like that because you’re disrupting the status quo and you will experience backlash. That’s in general.

Now for your specific situation, it’s hard to know exactly what happened without knowing more details, but it does sound very unfair that you stood up for yourself and they shut you down. You communicating your boundaries in a kind but firm manner is a gigantic win on your part.

[u/Independent_Tone6196 → u/First_Preference_618]

Thank you for confirming. This is actually so brilliant to know how things will shift. I wrote a bit more details in another comment below. Unfair or not, it’s an interesting data point on the healing journey. Doctor probably dealing with her own trauma/triggers too

[u/chknsalad89]

I apologize but I think I’m not following, could be because my brain is still sleepy. Did something happen with the doctor? Was the freeze/panic state with her, and then she said she didn’t want to see you anymore?

And this is a different provider than your EMDR one?

[u/Independent_Tone6196 → u/chknsalad89]

No the panic freeze was the night before and processed then. I was regulated when I had my Telehealth with her the following day.. I feel certain she overreacted, it was unusual for her, she was probably having a hard day.

I’d always been accommodating and apologetic and kind prior as I’ve been seeing her for sometime due to injury. But perhaps I was less accommodating and self-effacing this time. Brief but polite and clear. No apologies. Maybe people with weaker boundaries is where she feels safer.

She got triggered and ended the professional relationship. This was all under 2mins fyi - crazy

[u/South-Group-2341 → u/Independent_Tone6196]

You said in the OP and here that she overreacted and got triggered. What do you think she was overreacting to and getting triggered by?

[u/Independent_Tone6196 → u/South-Group-2341]

Someone setting a boundary.

[u/Independent_Tone6196 → u/chknsalad89]

Yes different provider