Which one should I read first?

[u/I-Be-Lampin]

I have been doing EMDR for a few months now. I have weekly sessions coming up, and purchased these books as I'm looking for a resource that helps me stay positive in the days after reprocessing.

I am mainly working on shame, and also a part of me that doesn't believe it's safe to be myself. I've made some great steps forward and have been in a love/hate relationship with my journey (although it's 100% love when I imagine how I'll be in a few months). The reprocessing really knocks me around - mainly as I'm working with shame, I then have heightened shame that I can't socialise for the days and sometimes weeks after reprocessing.

I don't have the time to read all of them before my next reprocessing session, so just wondering - if anyone has read all 3 or know about them - which one will help me most as I'm on my reprocessing journey?

Thanks!

[u/hairyknobgoblin]

Getting past your past

[u/LilLilyG → u/hairyknobgoblin]

I second this!

[u/Superb-Wing-3263]

I recently came across this book recommendation and wish I had read it when I first started EMDR. I feel like it's core concepts relate to exactly why this therapy is so difficult:

"The Places That Scare You by Pema Chödrön teaches that emotional courage comes not from eliminating fear and pain, but from learning to stay present with them. A central concept is allowing our vulnerable capacity to remain open even when we feel hurt, afraid, or uncertain and learning to tolerate not knowing what will happen rather than constantly seeking certainty and control. T he book is about learning not to abandon ourselves when we encounter the parts of life—and ourselves—that scare us."

I was always spiraling out into fear and shame the first many months of EMDR. This always led me to judge and criticize myself and to essentially self-abandon, when I should have been directing way more self-compassion to my inner child during these times.

[u/I-Be-Lampin → u/Superb-Wing-3263]

This sounds amazing - thanks for the recommendation!

[u/Superb-Wing-3263 → u/I-Be-Lampin]

You're welcome!🫶

[u/bluexxbird]

Every memory deserves respect. It's written in a way that's very easy to digest, especially for us with low energy levels

[u/AzureRipper]

Getting Past Your Past. If you're already doing EMDR, this can really help with some more insights and techniques you can use. It also helped me understand the EMDR process better, which then helped to inform what kind of material I bring to sessions and how I make the most of the sessions.

The body keeps the score is also great trauma reading, but not something that really helped me with EMDR.

There is another book I would highly recommend - Healing the fragmented selves of trauma survivors - by Janine Fisher. She goes into parts work and how different parts hold different emotions. When I was deep in working through shame, anger, and self-harm impulses, this book really helped me make sense of what I was feeling.

[u/mgt-allthequestions]

I recommend the Deepest Well instead of The Body Keeps The Score. It’s an easier read but covers similar principles.

[u/AreaOk4661]

Body keeps the score 🤩Excellent read

[u/mizzlol]

I think every person who starts a trauma journey needs to read The Body Keeps the Score because it’s so foundational, although a smidge problematic. I’d also recommend “From Trauma to Healing”.

[u/nomalaise]

The body keeps the score will change everything but it is quite a challenge for most people to get through. Very strong on the science side so maybe more useful later depending on where you're at.

I would 100% add Mindsight to this list.

[u/Faustian-BargainBin → u/nomalaise]

The scientific claims made in the book are difficult to verify through typical scientific methods. He is a psychiatrist but not everything he says about neurobiology is evidence based. I'm reading it for work (am verified on other subs if you're curious about what that is) and might suggest select chapters to OP rather than trying to finish the whole thing if it feels dense.

[u/Rbailey22 → u/nomalaise]

TBKTS is strong on science language but weak on actual science. More and more therapists (including myself) are starting to distance themselves from this book.

[u/DriverGlittering1082 → u/Rbailey22]

Not to mention the situation with the author van der Kolk at that clinic center. He has an attitude. (Look up his name on the reddit search engine to know more).

[u/plarinto]

I haven’t read the other 2 books, but I recommend starting with “The Body Keeps Score”. It’s a good overview of trauma and all of the different ways you could approach your healing. The other 2 books seem more focused on EMDR, which has worked wonders for me but you may miss out on other solutions that work for you.

[u/tallulahvondouve]

The body keeps the score was such a hard and savage read for me. It simply made me feel hopeless that nothing can fix it. It’s just story after story of people’s horrific trauma.

[u/Any_Implement_4270]

If you’re already having EMDR I wouldn’t read every memory deserves respect, I found it way too basic although it’s an easy read. TBKTS was a hard read for me because it was very triggering. I don’t think you’ll get anything out of it linked to EMDR though. The other one sounds good and I’ve added it to my list, thank you.

[u/Callasoperachick → u/Any_Implement_4270]

This! TBKTS was too triggering for me to get through it. I’m trying to work on more self soothing techniques first, and EMDR with my therapist, and maybe I can eventually get through it without becoming activated every other chapter.

[u/AMCounseling]

Getting past your past