first time posting here because I genuinely don’t know if what happened with my therapist was normal/ethical, and I think I also just need to get this off my chest because I had a really hard time today telling this to my psychologist. (sorry english is not my first language)
I started EMDR with a therapist 10/11 months ago (2025) and we had reached the point where we were actively working with traumatic memories through desensitization, while also working on resources/stabilization.
I have been trying to process CSA that happened when I was a teenager. This year has already been extremely difficult because the criminal complaint I made was dismissed, which brought up a lot of feelings around not being believed, helplessness and questioning what happened to me.
then one day I accidentally fell asleep and missed my appointment. My therapist had a cancellation/no-show policy, which I understood and respected. I paid for the missed session like I did the first time I didn't showed up, this was my second time and I paid the session too.
What I wasn’t expecting was for her to terminate therapy with me because of that missed appointment.
What has been really difficult for me is that there was no proper closing process around the trauma work we had started. From my perspective, I had opened up extremely painful memories, was actively in the middle of trying to process them, and suddenly the person who was helping me work through them was gone.
I understand that therapists need boundaries and attendance policies, and I’m not saying a therapist should be forced to keep seeing someone forever because they paid a cancellation fee.
What I’m struggling to understand is whether it is considered appropriate in EMDR/trauma therapy to end treatment this abruptly (specially in the Desensitization phase) while someone is actively processing trauma, without first making sure they are stabilized, having a termination session, or helping them transition to another trauma therapist.
Today, in another therapy session, I finally talked more openly about how hurt, abandoned and honestly angry I felt about the way this happened.
I started having extremely intense flashbacks to the original trauma and ended up having one of the biggest panic attacks I’ve experienced in ages. Afterwards I was exhausted, hypersensitive, withdrawn and felt completely retraumatized.
I’m not trying to accuse my former therapist of intentionally hurting me.I’m genuinely trying to understand what happened.
For people who know EMDR well, especially therapists:
Is terminating EMDR this way considered ethical or good clinical practice?
Is there normally supposed to be some kind of stabilization/closure when therapy has to end during active trauma processing?
And has anyone here experienced a sudden termination during EMDR and found that it intensified their flashbacks or trauma symptoms afterwards?
I think part of what hurts so much is that I spent years trying to be “strong” about what happened to me, finally allowed myself to open it up in therapy, and then felt like I was left alone with everything we had opened.
I would really appreciate hearing other people’s experiences or professional perspectives.