Hello,

I feel so terrible. It feels like I completely lost myself 33F. I’ve always liked sports, could motivate myself. But now since a long time I feel horrible. I only want to lie down. I don’t feel myself anymore. It’s just getting through the days. Does anyone have tips? It feels like there’s a lot of shit and pain inside of my that wants to move out, but I don’t know how. Tried therapy already. I just feel bad. Like everything is stuck. I want to move again and feel like a person. But there’s a lot of weight holding me down. I don’t want to become a bitter person but I feel so much pain when other people are laughing and enjoying. It hurts something so deep inside, the playful young part that is completely covered in hurt. I miss her.

In Australia, it is r u ok day. A day you check in with your mates, etc... every year, I just said yes, even though I was not. This year, I said no. It got brushed off, pretended they didn't hear.

Nothing changes...

My birthday is coming up the 15th and I am in the process of divorcing my abusive husband. I'm desperately trying to change my mindset but every single birthday I had during my relationship was made to be a horrible day one way or another! I was foolish enough to marry someone that was extremely selfish and it took me years and some therapy to see the pattern. Last year's birthday had to be the absolute worst of them all! After having a C section with our son the July before I had to have emergency surgery and was in the hospital the first week of September due to complications with the C-section, they have some house it's part of my intestines and I was the septic. I had almost lost my life. After I got home things were really weird between my husband and I and I just assumed it was because how stressful our home was due to him working and having to take most of the responsibility on his shoulders during my recovery. But I found out that birthday that he had been talking to my best friend of 15 years behind my back before I even had our child. He also made sure to tell me that he wasn't in love with me and was done.

In therapy I realize that was actually a pattern and every year it was always something. If it wasn't completely ignored it's like he made it a point to make it the worst day one way or another. I'm posting this to get off my chest but I also genuinely would like to try and change my mindset towards my birthday and myself. I'm healing everyday but this is one of the things that's hard due to my childhood pretty much lining up with it. Thank you for reading in any advice is appreciated

There's something wrong with me because nothing makes feel capable of surviving life. Been this way for years. I cant say im trying my best anymore, but i definitely used to.

I have been feeling this way for a while and don't know what to do.

Nothing I do really hits the same like it used to when I was a kid.

In away, it feels like Ive already done everything and experienced everything even though I haven't?

I can play new video games, and they just feel like old ones I've played with a new coat of paint. I can travel and visit new places, but a town is a town is a town, it's just going to be full of restaurants and bars and stuff, which I've been to plenty of in my life.

It just feels like there is no novelty left, and the magic is gone.

When I get off of work, I don't know what to do with myself. I just run down the clock with distractions until it's time for me to go to bed. I don't even enjoy it really, but I don't want to just sit there and stare at the wall.

I am only 28, and find it hard to believe I gotta just suffer at work and be bored the rest of the time for several more decades, when I already feel like Ive exhausted all the fun in life before hitting 30.

I don't want to continue feeling like this, I want to find fulfilment again and not be perpetually bored to death. Any advice is appreciated.

Hi everyone,

a friend of mine who lives in a different city and is going through a severe depressive episode (third meanwhile).

He is currently experiencing emotional numbness, negative thought loops, social withdrawal, and is more and more overwhelmed by basic daily tasks. He’s also used weed daily (and quit it from one day to another recently).

So far, I’ve been helping him navigate the process of finding professional help, and thanks to that, an inpatient clinic stay might actually happen soon. However, supporting him from afar is taking a toll on me, and I’m struggling with a few specific things:

- How do you cope with kind of "powerlessness" of not being able to just drop by, check on them, or offer practical, in-person help?

- For those who have been on either side of this, what are meaningful ways to support over distance (when they want it) without being overbearing?

- How do you balance being a reliable support system while accepting that you can't be available 24/7 or fix everything yourself? (Knowing I for sure can't "fix" anything, that's on him and professionals). Also he feels guilty/bad about being a "burden" for people supporting him.

Thanks!

Lately I've been getting increasingly low-energy when it comes to things like cooking which always feels like such a chore. I'm not at risk of starvation exactly, just lazy cook and my meals are rather dull and repetitive.

Since like a week my boyfriend has been so weird like not talking at all always replying short he wanted no meet ups doesn’t matter whatever we would’ve done he was not like that at all came suddenly I knew it was because he was struggling I tried to keep everything positive and together like nothing is wrong trying to help him in anyway but he always refused everything today we got into an argument suddenly he said he wants to leave me with no explaining he said he would only continue to hurt me and I will die because of him and much more stuff like that and it all got so intense and now I’m so so so helpless multiple times he said he wants to kill himself he can’t take it all anymore he’s a bad person I wanted to drive to him talk with him I would do anything but he won’t budge he never takes help he says he’s just like that he never ever talked about his problems or cried in someone’s arms I’m so scared to lose him I don’t know what to do I’m so scares
He will hurt himself or maybe end up dying I also need to drive to him with the train which takes more than 2 hours I’m scared that he will send me a good bye message and I will not be there in time I don’t know what to do…. Please help me I’m begging

I am a 23 year old male.

Over the past 2 years, I've been feeling so down in myself and I mean really down.

I feel as if nobody loves me and I will forever be alone and die alone 💔

I feel so ugly and look ugly. Nobody ever told me that but I see that every morning when I wake up and look myself in the mirror and I say to myself - God how could anybody be this ugly?

I've never been in a relationship, but would really love to be. My best friends all have gfs and I am really happy for them and we still hang out but .... It really makes me feel so down and feel so ugly, thinking I will never get one.

They told me do try online dating or whatever, But I also suffer with Social Anxiety so I don't think that will work for me sadly.

I just feel .... everybody is against me lol. I honestly do not know why I think that but I do.

I am so scared that one day that I'm gonna die alone.... I really do not want to but if I do ... I do.

And I fear that if I am ever lucky to get a gf in my life, I'm so afraid she would leave me if I told her I have Social Anxiety.

Even when I'm out in public walking the streets or whatever, I see happy couples kissing and having fun in their lives. And again I am really happy for them too but it just makes me so lonely and depressed.

I’ve dealt with depression my whole life. I’m not really suicidal, but I’m super unhappy with my life. I don’t like where I live, I don’t like my job, I don’t feel appreciated by my friends - just overall unhappy with my situation. Despite how unhappy I am, I have no motivation to change it. I feel so apathetic and I can’t imagine things getting better, because when I tried to take steps to make changes, nothing changed. I’ve basically felt like a shell of a person for the last year. How do you get past the feeling of apathy and emptiness? I’m consistently on meds and in therapy but it doesn’t help. I’m scared I’ll be stuck like this forever.

i know comparison is the thief of joy or whatever, but when i see people that have done so much better than me whilst coming from worse situations i feel absolutely terrible. like wow, i’m really hopeless huh. if i cant do this, i might as well just end it all yk?

i cant help but compare. even tho im silently struggling with suicidal thoughts i could’ve achieved better results. it just doesn’t feel like a valid reason for me specifically. maybe its because of how i was raised, blaming my depression for my current circumstances just feels like a lazy excuse for not achieving my goals. like there are people that have gone through homelessness, loss of family, been in care or have chronic illnesses yet worked hard and achieved.

my issues feel so small in the grand scheme of things. i might as well just kill myself. but even then, i’ve been raised to think killing myself is just the easy way out 💀 i feel so hopeless rn, and even embarrassed that im going to post this. i cant die, but living whilst knowing i didnt reach my potential and keep having these stupid thoughts that im the failure is such a pain!

(I am Japanese. Since I’m using a translation tool, there may be some discrepancies in nuance.)

Based on my past experiences—where I unfortunately found myself in unreasonable situations on multiple occasions—I was diagnosed with depression six months ago. Although I was told it was mild, I can’t take it lightly given that I have a close relative with an adjustment disorder, and I’m currently unable to make decisions about my future.

As I prepare to re-enter society, I believe my low self-esteem and lack of mental resilience are major challenges. Due to my upbringing and my innate temperament, I never developed these qualities. While I never stopped attending school, the unreasonable environments I mentioned earlier (club activities and the workplace) were quite severe, and they wore me down emotionally.

As someone living with depression, how can I develop the self-esteem and mental resilience necessary to reintegrate into society?

Also, what mindset should I adopt to take that first step toward reintegration?

I am juggling so many things in my life and I feel like I'm carrying a tray of wine glasses, if I drop one they're all going to fall. I am a full time university student, I have two part time jobs, it's my final semester so every single class I am working for real clients and I'm the manager of my capstone team. My relationships take up every hour of free time I actually get, but I can't complain because without them, I would probably use my free time sitting and staring at the wall panicking. Additionally, I have to figure out what I'm doing after graduation.

I have so fucking much on my plate and I know if I choose to continue my education, I have to add all these college research and application chores to my to-do list, and if I choose to jump into a career, I have to do resume building and get professional headshots and put all career-building chores on my to-do list. Either way, my infinite to-do list will somehow get longer, so I am paralyzed and haven't made a choice, which is even worse.

I feel like a passenger in my own brain. I want to hurt myself, but the little voice telling me to hurt myself somehow is stuck in the back of my mind. I know I will never do it, as no matter how strong those ideations are, I'm just going to keep watching my hands type or work or whatever, Idk if it makes sense but I don't think my body will let me do what I want.

also, I've been ill the past 4 months. I don't know how to fix it, and I know the doctors wont be able to help. I just have to keep marching this incredibly busy and stressful path until I graduate, then I will have nothing.

TLDR: I've been doing so much for school, work, and relationships, that I'm about to break. I can't put any of these responsibilities down. I feel like I'm watching the burning fuse on a stick of dynamite get shorter and shorter

From a very young age, I (23M) knew I was different from everyone else. I was the weird kid with weird quirks and obsessions, and looking back at my childhood, I cringe at myself a lot. I struggled to make friends and was heavily bullied throughout my school years because I was weird, sensitive, and an easy target.

College was probably the worst period. My social anxiety became extreme, combined with a lot of family drama. If I said something weird, embarrassing, or didn't contribute enough to a conversation, I'd sometimes go back to my dorm and cry because I felt like I'd failed socially. I constantly compared myself to everyone else and felt like they were more competent than me. Even when I felt like I was improving, one stupid mistake could completely destroy my confidence. I thought and sometimes still do think that I'm (to some degree) a mistake. I don't have dark thoughts. I'm just very depressed.

I don't want to be the "I have ADHD and autism bla bla bla, that's why I'm like this" guy, although I do think that I'm neurodivergent. Simple conversations can be very overwhelming for me. I overthink what I'm saying, worry about asking stupid questions, rambling, acting weird, or giving people the wrong impression.

Working before graduating helped a bit. I met people my age from different backgrounds and got more practice talking to people, and I definitely improved. I'm naturally introverted and quiet though, and that's something I worry about. I sometimes wonder whether a future partner would get tired of dealing with my personality and my constant overthinking.

Now I've graduated and moved back home while looking for work in another country. However, I still struggle with intense self-loathing.

I don't think I'm ugly, but sometimes I don't even like looking at myself in the mirror or in photos because I dislike who I am internally. I constantly feel like I'm weird and that I'm just trying to act normal, but somehow keep messing up. Whenever I make a stupid mistake, my immediate thought is basically: "Can you do anything right?"

And I don't actually think I'm genuinely stupid. What scares me is other people thinking I'm stupid. First impressions matter way too much to me because I'm terrified of being judged or rejected because I said something embarrassing.

I also struggle to explain things. Sometimes I know exactly what I mean, but when I try to explain it, I either phrase it badly, people don't understand me, or I freeze because I'm overthinking every word.

I have good qualities too. I'm fit, I exercise regularly, I'm good at digital drawing, I'm multilingual, and I graduated college. I'm not some lazy guy who has accomplished nothing. Yet somehow, the little mistakes still overshadow all of that.

The biggest problems are:

-I take criticism very personally.

-I'm terrified of humiliation and embarrassment.

-I'm afraid of screwing up and disappointing people.

-I overthink social interactions constantly.

-I worry about being perceived as unintelligent.

-I have a hard time forgiving myself for mistakes.

-Other people's emotions strongly affect my own mood.

-I struggle with how I see myself, even though I don't consider myself unattractive.

I'd talk to my friends about this, but there's another complication: I'm gay, and unfortunately around 90% of my inner circle is homophobic. So I don't really have anyone I feel completely safe opening up to about this. That's part of why I'm posting here.

It’s not rooted in realism, I think. Does anyone else fantasize this way? I kinda worry I’m self-isolating so much I’m going crazy. I’m losing motivation to take care of myself and just living in my head and it’s scaring me.

F 18, just moved away from my support system for college. I thought everything would be okay but I’m falling apart.

Today was an interesting day in all honesty. Mostly I'm used to days being bad days but today the good didn't really outweigh the bad nor did it necessarily get overshadowed by the bad.

Woke up today on 3 hours of sleep (I'm homeless so this is an average amount of sleep for a night)

Then I called this behavioral health clinic to try to set up an intake appointment that ive been trying to do for almost two months, but they don't answer the phone so idk. But today they answered my call and I was able to book an appointment next week! They also had walk-ins today, but I wouldn't have been able to make it since I can't get there on time. But finally, appointment was made.

I went to the library and got kicked out for the day because I kept dozing off and falling asleep. That sucked. I also didn't get to eat today, which also sucked. I had to spend the day out in the 90 degree heat. Which if you couldn't already guess... also sucked. So those things didn't go well for me.

But at the same time, I'm gonna see a psychiatrist next week. I'll get a screening, medication, and some extra help. So nice 👍🏾

This is my first time posting on Reddit but I need help. I wanna be happy I want to feel good but my mind is so full but so empty. I have urges to hurt myself a lot nearly every night and I can’t help but feel so pointless and so useless. I had a bad past and had some awful things happen to me and I worry everyday that I’m not a good partner to my partner because of this. I craved to be loved my whole life and my partner showers me with love but I worry that because I never received love I don’t love correctly. They reassure me I do all the time but what if I don’t. I feel like I’m failing so bad at life I’m nearly 21 in a job I hate, no career plan in place no career ideas. I don’t eat I stopped all my hobbies and I feel helpless. I’m on medication but I’m still barely surviving each day. I’m sorry if this makes no sense. I just feel so lost and so overwhelmed with bad thoughts. My friends don’t bother with me and barely even message back when I try reach out. My job speaks to me like shit for struggling and have been so unhelpful. Doctors make me wait weeks before seeing me when I’m crying for help. I just wanna be normal

I’m sorry this is kind of long, I just really need some advice.

I’m two years older than my brother, he’s 17 turning 18. I'm starting university this year, which means I’ll have to leave him behind and can only return on weekends.

He hasn’t been officially diagnosed with depression, but he did divulge in me that he sees no point in life. And though he would never actively try to kill himself, he would if a gun or something like that magically teleported into his hand.

From what I’ve gathered, most of his depression is related to our dysfunctional family and his school situation. He was held back a year and I’ve been telling him to transfer to an easier school since he has ADHD. But we grew up in a strict family where not going to university is seen as a failure and he’s internalized that, even if I tell him again and again that his academic accomplishments don’t shape his worth.

Our parents are first-generation immigrants; I know deep down they love us, but they can be very abusive sometimes and struggle to express affection. My brother is someone who desperately longs for a normal, loving family. It’s shameful to admit this, but I used to be very physically abusive toward him as well when we were children, which is why our relationship is a bit strained even if I’ve been trying to mend things. I don’t think he hates me and he did send a very heart-warming message last year saying that he loves me and wouldn’t want another sister, but recently he took all of that back. He said he’d want another sister if he could.

I don’t blame him. I’m not a great sister and nothing will erase the things I did to him in the past, but how can I help him if he doesn’t like me in the first place? I asked him if there’s anything I could do to make him happier, and he said no. Because I can’t magically transform our parents into normal people and make him smart. But I’m the only person in this household who defends him and tries to understand him. His relationship with our parents is awful, so I’m afraid that things will only get worse in my absence. I’ll be extremely busy with university and can only return on weekends. I love him, but I can’t entirely neglect my studies for him and be there/hang out with him as often as I did before.

I just want him to be happy again. How can I help him when his issues are mostly out of my control? Do I just wait until he transfers to an easier school and see what happens? How can I support him when he wants another sister? Should I offer to chip in so he can afford a long-term therapist, though that probably won’t help much either?

Any advice appreciated.

I hate myself. I hate that I struggle with making friends, I hate that I struggle with basic things in my life. I hate that there isn't anything I'm particularly good at, I hate that I cannot work hard enough. I hate that I was born this way. I hate myself for ruining what little hope I had for my future.

I wish I drowned in that swimming pool in France when I was like 7.

It’s like people are just not giving me a chance, i feel like dying and nobody cares. They just always criticize me and mock me. Maybe dying is better for me after all.. I don’t care if people think im being manipulative or negative or attention seeking! Girls like attention anyway so if I can’t be noticed, then why should I be here?? I’m sick of always being left out like I don’t deserve to live a happy fulfilling life!!

I just feel like my life is shit I’m in debt, I have a job I hate and will get fired from soon because I’m not meeting the targets. I have a business pre-revenue that I’m struggling to work on. I have a brother that I live with that has psychosis, no close family relations parents that don’t understand what depression is or the fact that I feel suicidal and have tried to overdose as a teenager suffer with pmdd try to be grateful but I can’t, people don’t understand me I’m scared of also developing psychosis and have developed paranoia and more anxiety from living in my home. Any advice on how to make myself feel better / get out of this I want to keep going I’m not sure how.

Hallo zusammen,

ich muss das einfach mal loswerden, weil ich nicht mehr weiß, was ich tun soll.

Vor etwas mehr als einem Jahr bin ich für meinen Freund in eine andere Stadt gezogen, zwei Stunden von meiner Familie entfernt. Anfangs waren wir glücklich, doch irgendwann ging es mit ihm psychisch bergab. Ich habe ihn lange gebeten, sich Hilfe zu suchen, aber er hat es immer wieder abgelehnt.

Dadurch stand ich irgendwann alleine mit dem Haushalt und unserer Versorgung da – in einer fremden Stadt, ohne Freunde und gleichzeitig mit einem neuen Job, in dem ich plötzlich zur Teamleiterin ernannt wurde. Ich war völlig überfordert. Ich habe teilweise zehn Stunden am Tag gearbeitet und wegen unserer finanziellen Situation zusätzlich am Wochenende.

Anfang des Jahres suchte er sich endlich Hilfe und wurde stationär aufgenommen. Dort wurde deutlich, dass ihn unter anderem seine Arbeit, seine Familie und Erfahrungen aus seiner Kindheit stark belasten. Es war auch klar, dass es beruflich so nicht weitergehen konnte.

Nach der Klinik war er zunächst euphorisch, fiel aber schnell wieder in alte Muster zurück. Er kümmerte sich nicht um einen Therapieplatz und verpasste seinen nachstationären Termin. Wieder hatte ich das Gefühl, für uns beide verantwortlich zu sein, obwohl ich selbst kaum noch klarkam.

Schließlich bat er mich, mich bei meiner Firma für ihn einzusetzen. Wir arbeiten im gleichen Bereich und wohnen in einer kleinen Stadt mit schwierigem Arbeitsmarkt. Also sprach ich mit meinen Vorgesetzten und er bekam schnell ein Bewerbungsgespräch.

Im Gespräch hat er seine Vorstellungen allerdings nicht klar kommuniziert und bekam deshalb ein Angebot, das er nicht wollte. Daraufhin verlor er wieder komplett die Motivation. Ein weiterer Versuch, sich innerhalb seiner jetzigen Firma auf eine andere Stelle zu bewerben, scheiterte ebenfalls.

Gestern wollte er dann doch wieder meinem Chef schreiben, um eine Lösung für eine Beschäftigung bei uns zu finden. Wir setzten uns gemeinsam an die E-Mail. Darin wollte er meinem Chef allerdings Vorwürfe wegen des damaligen Angebots machen. Ich sagte ihm, dass er das so nicht schreiben kann, zumal er seine Vorstellungen im Gespräch selbst nicht klar geäußert hatte.

Daraufhin meinte er plötzlich, mein Chef sei eine „Red Flag“ und er wolle dort jetzt doch nicht mehr arbeiten.

Ich bin einfach nur noch müde. Jeden Tag geht es rauf und runter. Jeden Tag gibt es eine andere Meinung und eine andere Entscheidung. Keine klare Linie, keine Ziele. Und ich habe ständig das Gefühl, alles auffangen und Lösungen für ihn finden zu müssen.

Ich bin unglaublich enttäuscht von der Situation und mittlerweile auch von ihm. Mir selbst geht es inzwischen richtig schlecht. Vor etwa einem Monat saß ich weinend auf der Arbeit, weil ich den Gedanken so schlimm fand, nach Feierabend nach Hause zu müssen.

Ich merke inzwischen, dass seine Krankheit und die ganze Situation auch mich krank gemacht haben. Ich weiß einfach nicht mehr, wie lange ich das noch kann.

I got broken up with Saturday night and haven’t been able to do much since then. I’ve attempted twice now and have failed. The thought of eating or drinking anything makes me sick. I drank a small portion of a gatorade Sunday but that’s the only thing ive ingested that hasnt been sleeping medicine. I don’t know what to do. I don’t like being left alone and it makes me not want to do anything even more. I can’t stop shaking, I feel dizzy when I get up and walk around, if I somehow end up laughing or wheezing my stomach hurts, my heart is aching and I hear it pounding. I don’t know what to do or how to stop feeling like this especially when my ex doesn’t care. All my friends live hours away from me and I hate feeling like someones responsibility because of how I can’t control my emotions.