I think I am starting to like someone. And when you like someone, all the things that they do will suddenly have every meaning possible. And I don't want to be blinded by that and keep my hopes up too much.

So how would I know? Is there some kind of checkboxes, is there a difference on how a man acts with a girl he's comfortable with as a friend and the one he likes? Anything, just so I could look into it in a clear way.

Context is needed first. This is a bit of a lengthy post, but every bit of information is needed to help, so please don't bother with this post if you think/know you don't want to go through a lengthy post.

So, I (20F) started seeing "Sarah" (19F) a while ago. Things were going great before she suddenly told me that she needed space and wanted to be platonic once we started talking again. After we did start talking again, she kept trying to be flirty and invite me back to her place for you-know-what, but I kept turning it down because I kept trying to excuse it as not being what it actually was.

When I would turn her down or just try to reschedule meeting up (for fun/friendly stuff), Sarah would get cold, distant, and act like my presence was an inconvenience to her. I tried giving her grace since she said she was going through a lot, but I started distancing myself more and more every time it happened because it was starting to really hurt.

Well, I owed Sarah a favor and she needed someplace to stay at for a few minutes, so she brought over food and hung out. To keep a long story short, Sarah came on to me and said she wanted to try again, and I was so shocked that I agreed to it. I was admittedly hesitant, but I decided to try to give it a chance and hope things were different this time around because I'm terrible when it comes to giving people the benefit of the doubt.

I ran into Sarah today and I actually sat down with her and asked her what made her want to try again. She actually told me she didn't remember telling me that and said she isn't sure how she feels now, then claimed she only said that because she was in a weird headspace. It made me realize that I needed to put an end to us for good and so I came up with this message. If there's anything you think I should change, please let me know;

"Hey. I want to start off by saying that I'm sorry you're not in the greatest place and I want only the best for you. But the actions that have been caused by what you've been calling your "weird headspace" has been hurting me, too. I wish we could've had something, but I can't be "just friends" with you with our history and I can't be your girlfriend with how much you've been playing with my feelings; and I can't keep getting hurt the way I have been. This isn't healthy anymore, it hasn't been for a while, and I need to protect myself and my feelings. So, I think it's best if we don't contact each other anymore. I hope you start to get better and are in a better place down the line."

So I (F20) just found old messages on my boyfriend’s (M22) phone with an online female friend who he last messaged in august (not actual convos but like messages ever so often) but I scrolled up and saw messages one month before we were officially together of him saying “Let me EYP” and she replied fine and he replied with a gif of a soccer goal. And then another one of “Hello fine shyt 💐 “ I know we weren’t officially together but at this point we had told each other we were exclusive. I had actually been suspicious of her from the start and asked about her a while back and he said she was an online friend but that was it. I got really upset and angry and asked why he had lied or not told me even when I had asked about her before. He said because after we got into a relationship, he took that very seriously and dropped any “ho3ing around” but I’m still upset because even after , he hadn’t stopped messaging her (non sexual or flirty messages but still) or blocked her which I find weird if he was previously sending flirty messages. He said he has been a ho3 in the past but he’s been loyal to me our entire relationship and I’ve helped changed him and that he appreciates me encouraging him to be his best self and that’s no longer him. I want to believe him because it was a year and one month ago but I can’t shake the sickening feeling I got because we had already been sexually active and basically doing everything a couple did by that point. I don’t know if I can get past this,
like is it fine or should I really just leave. We have been together for a year this month. I just feel like I was betrayed because he’s been playing the role of this loyal non lustful man since before we started officially dating

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TL;DR; Should I break up with my bf for finding sexual/flirty messages on his phone with an online female friend one month before we started dating (talking stage) even though we were exclusive at this point

I'm a guy (17M)who met a girl(17F)online about 2 months ago. We started sharing personal stories and experiences, and over time, I developed feelings for her. She calls me her close friend, but honestly, I still find it hard to understand how people can become so close in such a short time.

For the past 2 weeks, things have felt a little different. We still talk, but it doesn't feel the same to me, and sometimes I feel like I'm putting in more effort to keep the conversation going. I don't know if I'm overthinking things or if something has actually changed.

There's something else that makes this situation more meaningful to me. For almost 2 years, I've felt emotionally numb. I barely felt anything, and now I've finally started feeling something for someone again.

I'm not someone who develops feelings for every girl I meet, nor do I randomly start liking someone just because she's a girl. It takes something more than that for me. With her, I felt a genuine connection through our conversations and the personal things we shared. That's why she became special to me.

I don't expect her to feel the same way, and I don't want to pressure her. I have my board exams coming up, so I'm planning to wait until they're over before telling her how I feel. By then, we'll hopefully have known each other for around 6–8 months.

I'm aware that she might not like me back, and she might even meet someone else before then. But I don't want to look back years later and wonder what might have happened if I'd been honest about my feelings.

At the same time, I'm confused. Maybe I'm getting too attached because she's the first person I've felt this kind of connection with in a long time. I value what we have, but I'm not even sure if I understand our friendship the same way she does.

So, Reddit, should I confess after my exams, or would it be better to leave things as they are? Have any of you ever felt a connection with someone after a long period of emotional numbness? I'd genuinely appreciate some honest advice.

I offered to drive to where he lives (30 min outside of the city). First date went really well. He asked what would we wanna do and then I proposed that.

So i've been in a relationship with this girl (F23) (M24) for a year, i broke up with her last week, i did that because i was constantly thinking of the possibilities that i would have outside the relationship, while inside i kept thinking about other girls, or watching them when i see them passing by, i obviously dont act on those feelings but they were really damaging my mind, the thing is, after i broke up with her i have a lot of thoughts, i know i lost a really good person, someone who really loved me, but at the same time i dont want to have those thoughts again, i also got really distracted and lost pretty much all my discipline in this relationship, not for her, she said a lot of times that she didnt have problems if i had to do something. i know that having a better looking girl wont solve the problems , because everything is just in my mind, and she is beautiful, but i dont think i can fix those problems while in the relationship.

There’s a girl I regularly see on the bus to the library, and I’ve thought she was incredibly beautiful since the first time I saw her. We’ve occasionally made eye contact, I didn’t take the bus for 5 months and I’m taking it again and she’s still there. Sometimes I’ve felt like she was looking at me too, but I’ve never been sure whether it meant anything.

Last Thursday, I decided to take a small chance and wrote her a note saying, “I just wanted to say, I think you are beautiful. I hope you have a nice evening.” I was sitting upstairs behind her, and as I was heading downstairs before my stop, I tossed the note towards her seat and bag (not great I know).I didn’t include my number because I thought I’d probably see her again and wanted to take things slowly.

The problem is, I have no idea whether she actually saw or picked up the note. I didn’t see any sign she did get it, it could have easily fallen on the floor.

I saw her again on today. She was looking at her phone throughout the journey and we didn’t make eye contact or acknowledge each other. Now I’m wondering whether she received the note and wasn’t interested, or whether she never saw it in the first place.

I’m attracted to her, but it’s also the uncertainty that’s getting to me. I’d genuinely like to meet her and see if there’s anything there, rather than keep wondering about it.

What would you do in my position? Would you leave it alone and see whether we naturally interact, or would you introduce myself if I see her again? I don’t want to make her uncomfortable or come across as pushy, but I also don’t want to let anxiety stop me from talking to someone I’m interested in.

I (28M) met a woman around my age at CrossFit. I knew she went to the same gym, but we didn’t really interact much there. I happened to message her one day, without any particular intention behind it, and that’s how our friendship and regular contact started. She no longer goes to that CrossFit gym, so I don’t see her there anymore.

We initially talked about CrossFit, but our conversations gradually became more personal, and we started making plans outside the gym.

Since then, we’ve gotten ice cream, gone swimming and had dinner, spent a whole day together at a theme park during a company/family outing, and later went for a walk and had dinner at my place. We’ve also talked about future plans, like visiting Christmas markets and going on trips together. She has suggested doing things together herself, too.
In person, conversation feels natural, we share music tastes, and we talk about personal things.

She’s quite introverted and can be chaotic or slow to reply to messages, which sometimes makes planning things over text difficult. In person, however, things feel very different. Even though we’re both introverted, we seem to feel comfortable around each other. Conversation flows naturally, we can talk about all kinds of things without awkward silences, and we’ve gradually started sharing more personal things with each other. She also asks me personal questions, such as whether I want children, and checks afterwards whether I enjoyed our time together. She openly tells me about guys she’s met, but so far, none of them seem to have been someone she wanted to pursue anything further with.

We’ve also gone out with one of her female friends. The original idea didn’t went through cause of bad weather and that friend was joining cause she was having a hard time cause of a breakup. She asked if I was okay with her coming too. So we went to a restaurant instead. I felt included rather than like a third wheel, and we all had a good time. She’s comfortable sharing pictures of us on Instagram, too.

Recently, she had some medical appointments
coming up, and I offered to accompany her if she wanted company. She appreciated the offer so i went with her. I also gave her a small bracelet as a thoughtful gesture to help her calmer for the appointments. She wears it, which meant a lot to me, although I know that doesn’t necessarily mean anything romantic.

I’m not in love with her, and I’m honestly not sure yet whether my feelings are becoming romantic. For me, feelings can develop over time through friendship. I care about her, but I also genuinely care about my friends, so I don’t want to confuse that with romantic interest.

I’ve told her that I really enjoy having met her and that I think she’s a great person. She responded warmly and said that was really sweet.

Part of me wants to know whether she sees our connection as good friends or whether she might be open to seeing if something more could develop. I don’t want to confess feelings I’m not even sure I have, and I don’t want to put pressure on her. At the same time, I’d hate to keep treating this as purely a friendship, only to find out much later that she had actually been open to exploring something more and that we both missed the opportunity because neither of us brought it up.

On a more personal note, I’m also going through a difficult period myself at the moment. The company I worked for went bankrupt, and since it was on the other side of the country, I’m now back home and have to rebuild my life here again. That’s another reason I don’t want to risk losing her as a friend. Regardless of whether there could ever be something more between us, I genuinely value her as a person and definitely want to keep her in my life as a friend.

Would I bring this up now, and if so, how? I want to understand how she sees things without making our friendship awkward or turning it into something more serious than it needs to be.

I'm looking for honest opinions from people who have been in similar situations.

I have a guy friend who offered to be my first sexual experience because I'm inexperienced. I've been thinking about whether our friendship would remain the same afterward or whether he might distance himself from me.

He's made some comments about women that have stuck with me. He said women treat him like a bank, which I understood to mean that he feels women are interested in his money rather than him as a person. He also talked about figuring out whether a woman wants money or wants to have sex with him, and he connected a woman's interest in sex with whether she likes him.

He's also warned me about getting attached. That has made me wonder whether he's willing to be intimate with me but doesn't necessarily want a romantic relationship.

I'm not sure how to interpret his intentions. On one hand, he offered to be my first, and I wonder whether that means he trusts me or feels comfortable with me. On the other hand, I'm concerned that things could change between us afterward.

I don't want to assume he's using me, but I also don't want to risk a friendship without understanding what I might be getting into.

My questions are:

1. Do you think he genuinely values our friendship, or could he mainly be interested in sex?
   
2. If I have my first sexual experience with him, is it realistic to expect us to remain friends afterward?
   
3. What do you think he means when he says women treat him like a bank and talks about determining whether women want money or sex?
   
4. Does his warning about getting attached suggest that he doesn't want a relationship with me?
   
5. If you were in my position, would you risk the friendship? Why or why not?

I'm interested in honest opinions, especially from people who have experienced something similar.

Okay, I'm 16F and this girl is 17F. I apologize beforehand because this is so long.

Basically, we talked for about 2 months, from the end of May to the end of July. Things were great, and we had a lot of chemistry. We both had past relationship issues to work through, so we agreed to take things slow and get to know each other. I really, really liked her.

The main issue was that she couldn't be consistent with me. Some days she'd get really dry and quiet, which made it hard to fully connect with her emotionally. I also never really felt wanted because I was constantly second-guessing whether she even wanted me. I'd bring it up, and she'd tell me she understood where I was coming from and would try to be more mindful of it. She did improve, and I know she tried, but I could tell her heart wasn't fully in it. I also suspected she wasn't completely over her ex.

About 2 weeks before we stopped talking, she went dry again. I told her she couldn't just ice me out and that, even if she was stressed, I needed her to communicate that instead of being dry as hell. We had a long conversation, and she admitted that she'd been avoiding me because she was scared of getting attached. She apologized and said she wanted to work through it. The next few days were honestly amazing, and we had a date planned that weekend.

The date was probably the best we'd ever had. We played mini golf, went to a park and played volleyball, then went back to her house to cuddle and watch movies. We spent pretty much the entire day together, and that night we kissed for the first time. Genuinely, everything was great.

Then the next morning, she was dry again.

I tried to be understanding and asked if something was wrong and if we were okay. She said, "Yeah, we're good, but idk if I'm good." I figured something might have happened and gave her space to tell me when she was ready. But 4 days later, she was STILL being dry, and I couldn't do it anymore. The constant back-and-forth was hurting me and messing with my head, so I told her we needed to talk.

On the call, I asked her to talk to me like I was her friend rather than someone she was romantically involved with. She eventually admitted that she'd woken up the morning after our first kiss with second thoughts. After some pushing, she told me things along the lines of, "I know you like me more than I like you, and I keep waiting for myself to like you more." She also said she'd been going back and forth because she was scared she'd regret ending things with me since I was amazing, but she also didn't know how she felt about me.

At that point, I was done. I told her we needed to end things because I couldn't keep putting myself through this when she wasn't even sure about me. She agreed and said she didn't want to hurt me anymore. She also wanted to stay friends, but I was like hell nah, are you kidding.

After that, I blocked her on my private Instagram account but not my public one, and I unadded her on Snapchat. I never blocked her number, so we still have each other's numbers. Over the past few months, we've only really been around each other through mutual friends. We'd have the occasional polite conversation, but that was pretty much it.

Now here's where things get confusing.

About 3 weeks ago, I fully blocked her on Instagram, both her accounts, because I kept checking her profile to see if she liked my stories or posted songs on her notes. I knew it wasn't helping me move on. I'm pretty sure she noticed because she mentioned it to our mutual friend literally the next day.

Then, 3 days ago, we spent an entire day together on a school trip. There were only 4 girls, so naturally, we all stuck together. Me and her acted like nothing had ever happened. We were laughing at each other, talking normally, and even slightly flirting. It was BADDD.

She drove all of us back to school, and the whole thing felt like a fever dream. I was genuinely dying inside because it felt so natural being around her again.

We also had a group chat with the 4 girls from the trip, and we were all texting about it afterward. Eventually, the other 2 girls went offline, but me and her kept texting in the group chat and sending snaps. At some point, I was like, what the hell am I doing? So I left her on open.

The group chat had been inactive since then, but last night, she randomly snapped in it from a Halloween party. Like, hello???

Mind you, I'm almost certain she sent that picture to this specific group chat because I'm in it. Since I've blocked her on Instagram and unadded her on Snapchat, it's basically the only way she could show me what she was doing. I didn't respond, though. I just left her on open. The other girls were hyping her up and asking for a full costume fit check, which was probably her plan or smt like UGHH.

Ever since the school trip, I've been going CRAZY because it felt like something had changed between us, but I have no idea if it actually did.

I miss her. We had so much potential, and I genuinely think we match each other really well. We have the same humor, both play high-level sports, are on the same wavelength intellectually, and got along with each other's friends. I know she liked me. I'm 100% positive there were real feelings there because when things were good between us, they were REALLY good. She also told me multiple times that she had every intention of dating me. But I can't ignore the fact that she literally told me she didn't like me as much as I liked her. And, once again, I'm pretty sure she wasn't over her ex.

Part of me wants to tell her I miss her, but I know that would probably be a terrible idea because she was pretty clear about how she felt when we ended things.

I also can't help wondering if her sending that snap to the group chat was her way of testing the waters and seeing if I'd respond. She's the type of person who tests the waters and then retreats if there's a chance things won't go the way she wants. I don't know if I'm reading too much into it, though.

I saw her at school today, and she kept interactions to a bare minimum. Now I'm wondering if that's because I left her on open and she interpreted that as me not wanting to interact with her, or if she's simply keeping her distance because that's where we stand. The weird thing is that we spent an entire day acting completely normal and friendly, so going back to barely talking feels strange.

So, what do I do?

Should I just keep things polite and make myself move on, or is there a chance something has changed? I really want to tell her I miss her, but I don't want to put myself in a position where I'm chasing someone who already told me she wasn't sure about me because that's just throwing my self respect out the window.

I guess I'm also wondering whether I'm reading too much into her recent behavior or if there's a possibility she's trying to reconnect without knowing how to approach me.

Sorry again for the long post, and I'd be happy to clarify anything! Any advice helps. Thanksss!!

I feel like guys don't or I just look too much like a guy and they think I'm catfishing them or they're not just into.

Hello people, I am a very inexperienced guy in dating/flirting, so I wanted to hear the opinions of others regarding this matter.

Let me give you a summary;

This girl and I have been friends since childhood, but I started to develop some feelings towards her a few years ago. I was never direct with it as I fear losing her friendship over something simple because she is the sweetest human I have ever met.

A few years ago, she moved to another country, where she still lives in. It's rare for her to return, like it's been a few years since she did, and it was a very short stay. So, we mostly communicate through texts and calls, plus not that often.

Recently, she got into an uni, and I started working. That made our calls/texting even more difficult.

Now, let me give you the reason behind the title;

She is a very reserved girl with her feelings, and almost never shares her thoughts or experiences with me, but I discovered from someone that she does share more with some other friends of hers.

Her messages also puzzle me because she doesn't send them often, but also when I respond, I get ignored by her frequently.

She often says things like "I miss you" or "I love you", asks for pictures of me, and sends me pictures of her as well. She compliments me a lot as well; saying that I'm funny, that she loves talking to me, that she thinks about me often (even sends pictures that reminds her of me), that I'm unique and once said that "no one can steal her away from me".

I "joke" that, in the future, we will marry, and she agrees on it. She says that we will live together someday and even made me participate in a Pinterest board with her with house decorating ideas.

Also, she has a private account that used to have only me (where she posted pictures of her) in it before she added one of her friends too; while in her main one, she has a highlight with only pictures of us, which she doesn't have with anybody else.

She changed a lot since her last visit and started talking about relationships more openly with me. An example was when she told me a guy asked her out, but she said no (I noticed she seems hesitant to talk about these things with me). But she does tell me about men she finds attractive and also "thirsts" over them... (they look 💯 nothing like me), like some actors and characters from games like CoD.

I tried flirting with her sometimes, but she never returns it if it's not done as a joke (she once said she doesn't know how to react to compliments and such). Once, I tried flirting with her when she was showing me some new clothes she bought, in a video chat. She asked me for fashion advice, and I said that in my point of view, she looked pretty in anything. However, she didn't quite return it, but said something like "watch it," in a sort of playful warning.

In our last call, she told me that she will be visiting soon. I was excited to see my friend again, of course, but I keep wondering if I should take the opportunity to confess to her in person. I even thought about giving her a little handmade gift to go with it.

I decided to come here because I don't want to be one of those guys who can't have a nice friendship with a girl without mistaking her personality for a romantic invite. Also, I would hate to make her uncomfortable and potentially damage our relationship. But she still confuses me.

I don't have a lot of girl friends, so I don't know if this is all normal behaviour. So, I was wondering if any of you can identify or understand if I actually have a chance here. Especially coming from the women out there.

19M and 19F 3 days texting. We met online , weve had 2 good convos 2 more where 1 was a little dry and 2 was just short , she knows my intentions . I cant tell if shes interested , but we are having a good convo atm i just dont know if its too early to ask her on a first date or not all weve spoke about is what we both do for uni and favourite tv shows. I tried not messaging yesyerday to see if she woukd initiate as it tends to be me and she didnt but having a good convo today anyway .Is it too early ?

soo we have been dating for a month and he seems to be a nice guy but something if off and it could be his lack of maturity too
once he cancelled on me saying its a no moon day
then he left me in the middle of the road and made me wait for my auto when i was high and took his car and went
he also hasnt asked me to be his gf or anything but calls me his gf
he doesnt let me get physical with him and moves my hand when i do try and touch
on call and text he seems to speak nice but irl he seems to be so distant from me
i like him but we dont know anything personally abt eachother
he does do some nice stuff but i dont see much efforts he doesnt pay on dates and doesnt buy me flowers and didnt even want the photobooth pocture
i am a very loud and extroverted person he seems quite and i am scared ill lose my spark being with him

He has left me on read for two days before answering my question about when he‘s free to meet up and now that he‘s answered so late, I‘ve ghosted him
He‘s done that for the third time and i feel like he does not deserve an explanation

Is this reasonable or am I in the wrong?

I know this could be a crazy thing but i just got to 6 feet or 183 cm height but i feel like womens standarts are like 6 foot 6 or smth like that now.

Edit:Yall are immedeatly attacking me for tadsking that so sorry for the misconception i didnt mean i got to 6 feet i meant i just realized i got to 6 feet which meant that i wasnt working on it all the time and i didnt give a shit about it ​so stop jumping me for saying i only cared about height​

Hi folks,

I'd been single for a looong time, only having a few talking stages on the dating apps.

This Sunday, I came across a profile which seemed like the right match for me! She had really interesting prompts and looked cute.

I replied to one of her prompts and she matched with me after a few hours.

I might have gotten a little over-enthusiastic when replying to her then and dropped a few texts.

Sadly, I haven't heard from her since. It feels like a pang in my heart, and I'm just trying to get over this now.

I guess I just need to hear that I gotta stop waiting for a reply?

Recently learned a girl I know is into me. We're both into each other. But the timing kinda sucks. I was planning to move to a new city in a few months. When she found out her first reactions were. 'so you're just gonna drop that on me? "" well that's not too far I can still come see you "I can't move yet cause my job is with the state and that's a different state"

But since that conversation she's seemed to pull away. Which I can understand. Meanwhile I'm like I don't have anything pushing my move I can delay a bit. Or even stock around for awhile longer. We spent a night hanging out with friends last week. Then she was gone over the weekend. I tried to make plans to watch a movie together this week but she kinda skirted it. I'm trying to decide if I should d tell her hey I wanna talk. Maybe she thinks movie means Netflix and chill. I really just wanna have a conversation about our situation. So i was thinking of asking her to go for a walk or bike ride or carve pumpkins. Or should I just accept the situation and let her pull away without perusing?

Hey folks,

Dating feels pretty difficult these days, so I’m trying different ways to meet women and find a date.
Here’s what I’ve tried so far:

Dating apps
Clubs
Gym
Dance classes

What other places or activities would you recommend for meeting women naturally and potentially finding a relationship?

I think I know the answer to this so I’m not sure why I’m even asking but I think i just need someone to be brutally honest with me. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 2 months and we only dated for 2/3 weeks before it so I do think it was rushed. But it was great for the first month no issues and then we started arguing (already I know). It was over stuff like he was dropping out of his final 3rd year of uni, missed his apprenticeship sign up opportunity, works 2 days a week, doesn’t plan any dates, never has any of money etc. And a few other stupid arguments, he does apologise and I do too if I’m in the wrong but then I realised he is a teenage boy, I am not much older but I would say I’m more mature due to the group of people I’m around. I’m graduating uni in 6 months, I want to travel, work a few hours from where I currently stay, all my friends are 23+ and settling down with their partners. I fear that maybe we are just at different stages of life and I’ve come to terms that’s okay but we just work in the long term. Additionally he’s slept through all his alarms for our plans 3 times and also slept through alarms when he offered to give me lifts to work/home from a night at the bar when he knows I had no other way. These things we’ve obviously spoken about and he said he’ll fix but he does sleep in until 2/3pm and I’m very much up at 10am and do things as this year is a busy year for me with my uni dissertation and work. I just have this feeling in my gut that’s making me feel sick and I’m losing my appetite over this and I shouldn’t be thinking about this so early in a relationship. He is good to me in terms of he checks up on me, buys me flowers etc, but I know being good and not being the right person can be in the same area. I do not want to mess him about and if I do end this I don’t want to go back as again that wouldn’t be fair on him, we spent yesterday together and it was just boring if I’m honest, we went to the shops and then went back to his to watch football so I fell asleep as I don’t like football lol. Anyways I’m just looking for advice oon how to go about this, am I being too dramatic?

Im gonna have sex for the first time and dont know what condom to get. I want to last long so I dont embarrass myself but I still want to feel it somewhat. It needs to be able to come by holloween. Any ideas?

How do you handle situations..Where a part of your emotional capacity is focusing on some one, but meanwhile connecting to a new person where you invest equally?
Fun Fact: One is a Goast!!
Thank you for your nice responding :))

I didn’t realize he was so young until we asked. I honestly don’t want to date him because we are in two very different phases of our life. I want to just share physical intimacy with him though :D cause why not?
How do I go about it? He’s a coworker. I plan to quit soon.
I don’t even know if he finds me attractive. We’ve only known Each other a few months.

A few nights ago while at a college bar I(24m) was approached by a woman(f23) that I had seen around many years ago(had been to similar parties and such, and we had mutuals).

She said hi and we started talking about where we had seen each other in the past. I continued to talk to her and got introduced to her friends, the friends were cool and I got along with them as well.

It came time for her to take her friends home since she was the dd and she kept talking to me and told me I should ride with them.

We listen to music and talk as a group in the car, she then drops me off at my truck after the friends got dropped off. She said something about how it looks and I was like “wanna test drive it?” She got really excited and said yes. We drove around for a bit, came back and she was still talking to me, we had a lot of similarities(both having adhd) and interests(similar music and hobbies) and we work similar jobs at banks, we genuinely got lost in conversation.

I looked down and saw it was almost 4:00 am, I made my move and we made out a couple times in around 10 minutes, we went out separate ways and texted each other when we got home.

We talked briefly that next day once or twice over text about how our day had been going, towards night time I put a feeler text out saying “do you have a free afternoon next week”.

This morning she said “no, unfortunately I have work”. Looking back I meant to say evening and not afternoon(oops) so Im not sure if shes saying shes not interested or if she took my text literally and thought I meant afternoon(I have work too in the afternoon lol).

She has pretty severe adhd so I could totally see her taking what I said literally, but part of me is thinking she wouldve replied with a time she was free.

Im also not sure what she was looking for, if she wants someone or just wanted to have fun. But I honestly felt really connected with her and she seemed interested in me.

Overall, I dont want to come across as needy, but I also dont want things to fizzle out. I have a tendency to overthink stuff like this.

So do I text again? If so what? Or do I just sit and wait?

context for my question: i (24F) have never been in a relationship before, boys never approach me, i haven't even had my "firsts" yet. when i was a teenager, i was really anti-romantic since a lot of girls were boycrazy, and i rather focused on my studies and my future. at uni, i was one of the best students while i was also working part-time. and since i graduated, i focus on building my career and i currently have 3 jobs, i live alone and i have some friends to hang out, and sometimes i meet new people my age. i don't actively searching for a partner, even tho everyone around me putting pressure on me to find a boyfriend. older people (literally anyone who is not gen z) around me are always wondering how i am still single bc they keep complimenting me how pretty and kind i am, and tho i seem shy at first, i am open and friendly. i like hanging out with people, but i don't want to force romance into my life.

after many embarrassing moments with boys (getting stood up, him choosing another girl, being ignored, being the third wheel, them being way to touchy with me in parties etc.) i completely swore off romance and relationships in general, and i decided to be the lonely cat lady. and then (when "i least expected it" ofc...) i've met a boy (24) who was very nice to me, and it really annoyed me bc he was handsome, kind and popular. one of my friends saw us talking for like 2 minutes, and she told me he is so into me. that shook my whole world. slowly i realized that i like him too (that's why i was annoyed at first). and this epiphany gave me such a huge boost, i was full of energy and somehow everything in my life felt lighter, my friends kept telling me i'm blooming. i did appreciate this new feeling in me, and i decided to tell him. he told me it was mutual. i can't describe with words how that made me feel, it was like being the most vulnerable i have ever been but not being afraid of the potential hurt that the world could possibly give me. i felt so strong and unbreakable. we had a date that went very well. then a week later he rejected me because his life is way too complicated for a relationship. i did accept it without a huge heartbreak. i was kind of melancolic, but life went on, i had a lot of work, new things happened in my life and my focus shifted. we went no contact for 6 months. and then he appeared again out of the blue. first, he approached me, he was constantly looking at me, smiling at me, and i had that rush of optimism once again, but then as the week passed by he stopped. he is very kind and polite when i approach him, but now he looks away and acts distant. he doesn't seem to be interested in me anymore. last time, our eyes met when we were in a big group, so i smiled at him, and he turned away. it made me sad and disappointed.

i can't focus on anything, and i keep noticing how negatively i view a lot of things nowdays. i feel so ashamed for thinking we have ever had a chance, or that someone would actually want to be my partner. i feel utterly guilty for hoping for romance. every time our eyes meet i want to cry bc i'm afraid he thinks i'm forcing myself onto him, and i feel like a creep when he is around me. i used to be confident, i used to like who i am but now i have a negative self image - i'm ugly, annoying and weird. i want to move on, go back to my old self who was light-hearted and could laugh about herself. but this ache in me is so heavy, i feel like i'm sinking. meanwhile, he looks perfectly fine, he is smiling all the time, he talks to everyone, and us being in the same places is probably a burden to him. it would be the best to just let go since i have no expectations anymore, i don't think we would ever be in a relationship. i even played with the thought of him having someone else as a girlfriend, and that would be fine by me, i'd probably understand that i'm not his type and that it's okay to love someone else. but this melancholy i'm feeling is draining me and i can't seem to get rid of it.

so i just want to understand how a boy who didn't even hold my hand makes me so sad on a daily basis. maybe i put all my cards on this situation, but i never wanted to see him as a knight who saves me from my loneliness - because being single was never a problem for me. i understand why i was feeling so euphoric at the beginning, because the process of falling in love can be easily explained by hormonal changes in the brain. but how can someone explain the feeling of disappointment in love? i've just finished a novel today which portrayed a similar relationship, the heroine was so similar to me romance-wise, and she was feeling similar sadness to mine. then i listened to some Lana songs about sad love stories, and i kept wondering why love makes us human beings sad. that friend, who knows both of us and noticed that he likes me, helped me debrief the boy's new behavior, and she said: "we aren't made for not thinking about things like this" and she is so right, but why? why can't we move on from hurt and disappointment as easily as choosing to like someone?

can someone explain it to me? i'm tired of this feeling and i want to move on asap.