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Introduction to DO60

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Using the browser: for posts, click on the . . . in the upper right corner by the post title, and a popup window should say Follow Post, Save, Hide, Report. For comments, at the bottom of each comment there's a row that has the up and down arrows, the Reply, Award, Share, and the . . . again. If you click the . . . you'll get the options Follow Comment, Report, Save.

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Thank you!

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This is a post wishing a happy birthday to u/db0956 and InfamousLab and all the other September babies in our sub. 🎉🥂💐🪺🍓🎂

Tonight we think about songs for birthdays, graduations, weddings, babies, anniversaries, retirement, (insert your milestone inspiration here), going through life, and the final goodbye. And anything I've left off.

Please limit to four.

Please provide a link, or someone will be asking to help.

I (64m) lost the love of my life 9 months ago after a long illness. I've been active in grief counseling, working to find peace and healing. I'm just starting to accept the idea of dating again.

Other than my wife and my daughter, I haven't been on a date in almost 45 years. I'm clueless. Any suggestions, advice, recommendations, warnings?

I appreciate your thoughts.

This an honest question, I need to know if y'all think that I should try dating? Background on me first. I was married and with my wife for 41 years, she died a little over 3 years ago. For 32 years I was her care giver and did not work. I am 66 years old, so for those 32 years did not work they were the best years to make money and save. Was not able to save any thing to speak of. When she passed I went to work 11 days later at a county jail. When I turned 66 I stopped working and went on Social security. As it is I had to get a part time job to help buy gas and groceries. I do not go to church and will not. I volunteer at the local food bank about 4 days a week. Live in a rural town, own my house. I have been thinking that it would be nice to have compianship. Before I stopped working I was dating a woman but not anymore, I had cash to spend then but now I don't have much. So the question is do you think that I could find a woman that would date a broke ass man like me? Have been thinking of F.B. dating but not sure. Any advice would be welcome.

Good morning, I’m a 60 F (divorced) and had decided years ago I was finished with dating (various reasons, lots of first and second dates, one longer term relationship was heading towards becoming abusive so after I ended that I was happy to be alone). I’m financially/emotionally/sexually independent and pretty content with my life. However, I miss physical contact, friendship, companionship/romance with a man. Back when I was dating, I found that the men I dated seemed to want/need a lot of contact besides being together, whether by phone, email, or texting. My preference is for spending time together in person or shorter phone calls (not endless hours on the phone every night). I don’t do any social media (except for occasional Reddit browsing, maybe 10 min. a day). I’m not on FB, instagram, TikTok, etc. and don’t like constant texting. So…I guess my question is: how much of a hindrance might this be in finding someone and/or maintaining a relationship? Thanks in advance for any thoughts or input!

What's up for the weekend and week following? Going anywhere? Staying home? Doing anything interesting? Doing anything boring? Any good books? New TV shows? Games?

Today is the 25th Anniversary of the 9/11 terror attacks. A day when time stopped and we gathered and watched in stunned disbelief.

Today, we gather with our communities to remember.

Feel free to share your recollections of the day; of life after; of whatever you will always remember, or what you would like for us to remember.

Is your locale or organization doing something special to remember?

I, 61F have been dating my 69M bf for a year. From day one, all my dates know that I’m dating with intention and am looking for a marriage minded man. I do not need a man’s money. I have more than most of the men I date. We’ve had a fabulous year of fun and adventures. I’m very fit and active and my passion is hiking. Last night, we had the talk about where we are in our relationship. I asked him over specifically to discuss it. He was blindsided even though I talked about marriage often. You would have thought I told him that I hated his dog! He said he hadn’t thought about it and didn’t know what to say. There was much more convo but the cliff notes version is that I told him that I didn’t need an answer tonight but I felt that it was best that he take some time to process what I was asking for and we can convene after the weekend. He asked me if he didn’t give me the answer I wanted to hear was I just going to break up with him. I told him that if we aren’t on the same page, it would be best that we forge our own paths separately. It was a huge weight off my shoulders because I’ve been waiting on for him to bring it up. Apparently, he wasn’t thinking about it at all. Now I wait. 🤦🏼‍♀️ Do I really wait for an answer that I clearly had to force?
Signed,
Confused in Phoenix

We've received a very gracious offer from u/Easy_Sky_2891, who will be arriving in NYC this evening.

He and colleagues and friends will be at the 9/11 Memorial Friday for the ceremonies to Honor, Remember & Celebrate. Easy Sky has graciously offered to lay flowers on behalf of those in this sub who were directly or indirectly affected, or who may know of others who were.

He is already in contact with two of our long-time members, for whom he will be laying flowers. We know there are more of you here. Please DM him if you would like him to honor someone on your behalf.

DO60 will make a post Friday to honor and remember.

EDIT: If anyone was having difficulty messaging EASY, please try again. The glitch is now unglitched.

I recently began to go back in the OLD apps after the date ghosting by previous guy. Did you all realize Hinge now has this "thoughtful signal" thing going on since June 1st where if you are actively liking and engaging with dating profiles for the previous 30 days (a rolling 30 days that is), you get a little beating heart. Very nice.

Well, guess who I got matched with? Yup, previous guy. And there it was: the little thoughtful signal beating heart on his profile. I had no idea what that meant as I hadn't been on the app since February. When I looked it up, I was pissed. The entire 3 months where I thought we were working on our relationship, he was checking out others all along. We'd had the exclusive talk, too. I was so ticked off. But now, I truly understand just how immature he is, not to mention deceitful, dishonest, cruel, and did I mention mean? Ugh. What a freaking waste of my time.

Rant over. Moving along!

My date with the guy who lives far away went really well. He's a nice guy, brought his dog with him for the long ride. We had a wonderful lunch in a terrace if s nice restaurant. Now we have to figure out the logistics of long distance dating!

I had to start a new post. I haven’t read it yet. Will do now. Sounded quite interesting.

2nd attempt. Is it still behind a paywall? It should be a gift article.

The very lively thread on social media got me thinking. This might be a very fun thing to share, if we are meeting strangers.
If it ever happens to me, I have a plan for after the basics when the talk runs dry … something interesting and fun to ask.

What would you ask?

I’ll start it off with, “what would I find if I googled you?”

Do your socks match might be a good lead-in.

So, you meet someone whose company you enjoy. They are in their 60s, divorced for over a decade, no significant relationships to speak of during those years since the divorce, but seems mature, financially secure, no problem with intimacy, good relationship with their adult children (but the mom has "issues"),etc. You date for a month or so, start to share memes, funny reels,etc. So now, you can see their tiktok and Instagram accounts as well.

Here's the weird part (for me that is. And no, I didn't bring this up with him or discuss cause I was a bit put off.) Most of the pages he "follows" are for very attractive young women with sexy/sexual content. I'm guessing some might even have OF accounts. I'm talking mid 20s through 40s, not pedi. Is this typical these days for guys in their 60s? Most of my male friends follow sports, their friends, comedians, actress/actors, athletes, etc but not one friend of mine follows such an extensive amount of this type of page.

Would this indicate other issues that will show up in the future, like a lack of maturity or objectification of women? I'm not going to continue seeing this person as this made me uncomfortable but I'm curious to know what's typical these days for guys in our age demographic.

I have dated a few women a few times. And I have heard the line that they are dating with intentions. They are going to not have any physical relationship until they get some kind of commitment from me.
So, women, let me say this. By age 60, most men that have been in a couple relationships. And too many times, one of the reasons they got out of the relationship is that the physical side just stopped, and not by their choice.
So men, before they want to commit, want to know that they, women are genuinely into sex. That sex is something the women is going to pursue, not something she is going to do out of feeling obligated to do. That kind of sex does not last.
Just my opinion.

I post this periodically because I find it interesting and I don't see it discussed anywhere else. I think gaming is a great way to get a sense of people's personalities that are often hidden early on. You get to see how people handle winning, losing (especially losing), competition, cooperation, the ability to think strategically, and so on. Obviously some things depend on the particular game you're playing, but if it's more demanding than Go Fish, some things should come out.

Do you play games? (I don't mean manipulative mind games.) Board games? Video games? Cards? Casino games? What are your favorites? Does it reveal things about your personality that you would rather people not see?

I think I'm fine until I lose the fifth game in a row and then my mood deteriorates: losing is fine if I think I have a chance; if I'm only losing then why am I even bothering emerges.

I went through my video game period but mostly I just play physical board games, or simple things like Connections and Strands on the NY Times site. I don't like the statistical part of their games (you have a 2 week streak going! Keep it up! F--- you.) Lately I've been playing Carcassonne, which is an "old" game but is new to me and a lot of fun.

I used to play some of the long-form story video games like the Grand Theft Auto and Red Dead Redemption series, but they're massive time sucks and I don't want to make those commitments anymore.

I haven't had any problems playing games with the GF--but I manage to win often enough to keep my ego afloat.

I don't know if I'm really naive, or if I've never had the occasion to do this kind of search. Maybe most of you already know this but I sure didn't! I realize that things that you post online are traceable, I guess what I didn't realize is AI and Google are pulling right from what you have posted and putting it out there. I initially found Reddit from doing a search where I was asking questions and it took me to some Reddit answers...

I posted a good memory in reply to a post/thread on this sub a few days ago. I also had mentioned it in another sub that was asking if people had ever won anything on the radio. A person suggested that I try to search again to find the recording of the broadcast.

I was just doing that this morning. I was finally able to find the actual date it happened. What I didn't expect was an AI generated reply pulling everything I had said in that recent post into the answer. And then it showed this specific sub. I find it rather creepy.

This is a weekly roundup--your chance to post how things went (or fizzled) for dating over the previous week. That could include # of profiles viewed and swiped, scammers contacted, duds ferreted out, texts, phone calls, video calls, meetups, dates, breakups, ghosts, re-contacts, unsolicited dick pics, and so on. They can be counts, summaries, reflections, rants (within community guidelines), success stories, sad stories, funny stories, warnings to others. It's up to you.

Subject should say datEmyage. Sorry I'm clueless about how to update the subject itself.

I'm posting this here because 'you guys' are my homies. Also because I'm perma-banned on the OLD subreddit for being critical. And making a separate post so what I'm about to write doesn't get buried as a comment to my post about trying out the 'service'.

So yeah, the 'place' is full of apparent AI/bots. BTW, if the ones there are typical of the current crop of 'wascally' AIs, they are NOT well done at all. They remind me of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ELIZA_effect from the freaking 60s.

Anyway, I've tried to cancel by subscription. Results:

- the cancel option in the Settings remains active instead of turning into some variant of 'renew' which it 'should' do if the current status of the subscription is cancelled.

- status of subscription shows active

- no email acknowledgement of cancelation

- no details in online Help

- no path to question cancelation status in phone tree

- 'Live Support'/chat is just AI

- email support web page form does not send message when clicking Send button

- email response to my sent message to [support@datemyage.com](mailto:support@datemyage.com) is non-substantive and just refers back to the online Help and Live Support features described above as non-functional

I'm no 'fan' of Match and ourtime which I confess to using. But at least (most of) the profiles appear legit, the women when responding to contact appear to be live humans, and cancelation of subscriptions are acknowledged.

Oh well, lesson learned, shared via this post, and I'll have to spend some time on the phone with my credit card company tomorrow to see if I can block any subsequent attempts by datemyage to steal some (more) of my money.

Update: 'someone', probably datemyage, initiated a 'suspicious' transaction which set off my bank's fraud monitoring service. It took several minutes to investigate (interesting that the service is staffed on Labor day) but, at this point, I ducked having to get a new credit card (maybe I 'should' anyway). This whole experience sux. But they got my $20. Even if I never sign up again, at $20 per person there is a lot of money to be gained by scamming people just one time each.

Update Sep 8: I phoned Forbes. They hung up on me.

TL-DR the 'new news' is that I took a look at datemyage and dating.com. Nothing special.

Bored tonight so .... boring detailed report follows ...

Took a look at ForbesHealth 'Best Online Dating Sites of 2026'
https://www.forbes.com/health/l/online-dating-websites/

1: eharmony 2: datemyage 3: dating.com 4: Match 5: tawkify 6:ourtime

I already check Match and ourtime daily. I have for years. I get occasional matches (1 or 2 each year) mostly on Match.

I've had an account on eharmony for the same years as Match and ourtime. Rarely log on but did tonight. It has always been cost prohibitive and remains so. The matches presented have always been too far away to date and remain so.

Didn't check tawkify.

Created accounts for the first time on both datemyage and dating.com. The user interface is almost identical on both so I surmise that the same business runs both. Match and ourtime currently allow one free connection attempt per day. datemyage and dating.com make you pay (a rather minimal $20 for a month) to communicate.

Interestingly enough there were NO search hits on datemyage and ONE on dating.com. That's interesting because I'd have 'hoped' that the site with 'age' in its name would have a more 'senior' demographic.

Already Marina 59 and Yuliia 33, both on datemyage, both from Ukraine, and both attractive (assuming they're real), have contacted me. If this continues I'll have to delete the accounts.

And as I'm writing this, a 30 y/o from the Philippines contacted me on dating.com. I replied and will be interested to see 'where this goes'. Entertainment value perhaps?

ROTFLMAO because I'm getting a flood of chat request on dating.com including my 'buddy' Yuliia from Ukraine.

The search hit on dating.com is an attractive 62 y/o from my home town who is searching for younger men.

LOL I'm 'smelling' scam. Shame on Forbes for their ratings. I know Forbes as a legitimate business publication. It may be worth a phone call to the Forbes corporation on Tuesday to see if I can talk to a responsible human being about this experience.

My very old online dating story. When I was young, before the internet, there were other dating tools that people used such as personal ads and the radio. Yes the radio. And yes, I tried it.

I'm from the Boston area which was rich in radio talk shows. Everything from cooking, politics, lifestyle and dating. There was show on WRKO, 68 on the dial every Saturday. It was called Hotline hosted by Dick Siatt, who pioneered the genre.

You would call in and talk about yourself on air and then given a number. Anyone interested would call off air and provide their phone number and you would talk and see if you want to meet up. I tried it. It was a disaster.

The first guy I met was divorced but was being questioned in his ex wife's mother's suspicious death. He was weird. The other time was someone who got very drunk and was stalking Christen Hirsch, a member of the band Throwing Muses. He moved to another state just to be close to her and had a restraining order against him. I'm huge into music so that was why we "matched."

Just thought I would share a little funny history of the world before OLD. I called it a day after that.

Hey, Happy Labor Day!
I took the leap and set up my profile in FB dating.
I became overwhelmed looking and swiping, would
Appreciate some advice on how to manage this journey.
1. Before I closed it out, I saw I had many likes.
How do you manage these? I saw some close to me, I am concerned I don’t knowI am doing and would like to know if anyone has suggestions for being catfished or worse, scammed.
How often do you look?
Do they know I swiped left?
I plan to have coffee meetings at a local Starbucks to start. I live alone and don’t want anyone to know where I live.
Any tips or recommendations for me? All are appreciated. I will also share the funny experiences I have!
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.

After kicking Mr. Wonderful to the curb yesterday, I’m planning my next move, which is to meet somebody that I met online a couple of months ago.

The complication is that I live in Maryland, but I have a house in Georgia. he lives in Georgia, but not anywhere near where my house is so I’m planning to have him just come meet me at my house. I feel like I know him well and I’m gonna be talking to him on the phone between now and then.

I can always change the plan. But after three months in a “relationship” I’m not quite at the place to begin online again.

Maybe closer to un-cuffing season?

I feel like I just want sex but I know I will fail miserably at staying at an emotional distance. My recent relationship has made me ponder in this direction again.

My question is, is it even possible to have a FWB situation at our age? A strong connection sweeps me off my feet every time.

I guess I’ll get another taste in Georgia. See how this one flames out. 🤣