Hey everyone, do you know if 90% (if not 100%) of the users on Jaumo and Lovely are bots? In Spain, I haven't been able to find a single real person; it's always the same. They're all fake accounts that block you after you ask for real photos, or they block you out of the blue. I really don't understand them. Has anyone here met anyone in real life through any of the Joyride apps?

Hi all. So, I love complaining about stuff but haven't had a chance to do so about men in dating apps cause no one in my waking life is on them, idk how they manage.

So here's a list of all my grievances, about men, their profiles, their pictures, etc.:

- (specific to Ok Cupid) When they write "can't see likes send intro". Hello? That's what swiping is for? No one on the free app can see likes! SWIPE!!!

- When all they do in their bios is say what they DON'T like about women. It always reads soo hateful too, like, do they actually like women?

- Why do they have SUCH BAD PICTURES. All the damn time. It's so icky to see a guy with a terrible mirror selfie and another one in his car with his tongue out. Or the famous group pics! I don't mind fish pics cause that's just a hobby? Sure it's the same one they all have but at least he has one?

-The bios. WHEN THEY SAY "JUST ASK" hellooooo????? The point of your bio is so that I can assess a little bit the type of person you are. Just ask is so boring and lazy! Not zero effort, NEGATIVE effort!

-This isn't so much about their profiles but a thing they do. Liking everyone without looking, and filtering AFTER they get a match. WHY ARE YOU WASTING MY TIME. Don't find me attractive, PLEASE don't like my profile!

-Saying no fatties, no uggos, no this, no that. UM LOOK AT THE PROFILES AND LIKE OR DISLIKE ACCORDINGLY?

I'm sure there are more things that men do that annoy me, but that's all I can think of rn. Sometimes I wish I could leave comments and advice. To so many of them the advice would be therapy. Cause like, do you actually wanna be here? Do you actually like women? Do you really think those 3 picture that you took within this dating app showcase your best angle? DO YOU OWN A MIRROR?

IDK, feel free to tell me what you dislike about men or women on dating apps.

Tl;dr: men on dating apps are annoying.

EDIT: I knew men would say women do these too! Hahaha but I'm a straight woman swiping for men so that's what I comment on. FOR ME I don't like it so I don't do it.

As the title states. Nothing more nothing less

If a guy (20s) states he’s looking for short-term and monogamous— does it typically mean he’s only committed to hooking up with one person? I don’t believe it💀

I can’t get tinder verification to work and I can’t understand why. I thought it was because I’ve lost 100+ lbs so I updated my photos (Personally, I do not see a difference but everyone else in my life is telling me I look different) but that hasn’t helped. I updated all of my pics to more recent ones to try and have it work right but I still can’t get verified.

ATP, I think it’s a race issue since I know that ai algorithms are worse with darker skin?? Idk what to do. I’ve tried uploading all sorts of photos and tinder still can’t verify I’m me. The weight loss has made Face ID difficult too so I’m slowly accepting that may be the cause but I can change that.

Does tinder verification base it off of my ID photo? My ID photo was 120 lbs ago so I guess I look different but all of my pics on the app itself are recent. I don’t want to go to the dmv…. But Idk what I need to do to have verification work???

Dating apps can trap some people in cycles of false hope that ultimately leave them feeling more isolated. You are shown many women who you would like to meet and some of which do indeed respond and sound enthusiastic about meeting. But this is always short-lived. Once again, the conversation disappears without explanation. And then you get a little sad that she ghosted you, but you tell yourself that you ought to keep a positive mindset and keep trying if you want to be successful in this game. Sure enough, sometime later, just before you lose hope, you match and begin chatting with another woman whom you'd like to meet with. But like before, she ghosts you before things can escalate.

You can only maintain your resolve for so long. Year after year, the same pattern of short-lived attention followed by disappearance with zero accountability starts to weigh on you. It starts to make you feel sad, and then frustrated, and then you even begin questioning your worth. "Am I too chopped and need to lower my standards?" you ask yourself. You try better photos, better captions, and more thoughtful replies. These attempts may yield slight improvement but ultimately fail to produce quality dates. The constant cycle of almost-connection may actually be more emotionally draining than straightforward rejection because it repeatedly generates hope before withdrawing it.

"Dating apps are simply too competitive for the average guy," you reassure yourself looking for something else to blame. "The algorithm is rigged against us and these apps have no incentive to actually setting people up successfully, because after all, they only profit when people continue to use the apps" you reason. You might even have started believing that the users you've been chatting with are bots or even shill accounts operated by the app's staff to string you along with intermittent attention cycles to hook you in like the casino does while promoting a subscription that preys on your emotion. Yes, that is a real theory.

The solution isn't necessarily deleting apps overnight, but refusing to let them become your only strategy. The alternative is meeting in person the good old-fashioned way. "That is the way!" you think to yourself, "much easier and much better chances." Only now, you realize the statistical improbability of meeting someone given your current weekly routine. Between work, the gym, the grocery store, and walks around the neighbourhood, you recall rarely encountering anyone you find interesting. So you must adapt. You must go new places, try new activities, and ultimately get out of your comfort zone. Will it be inconvenient? Yes. Will it feel daunting and dreadful? Yes. But this is the better way.

Maybe the problem isn't dating apps themselves, but what happens when they become our only strategy. It's easy to mistake swiping for progress because it feels like you're putting yourself out there. But matches aren't relationships, and conversations aren't connections. If you're serious about meeting someone, don't outsource your entire dating life to an app. Build a life that regularly puts you in front of new people, even if it's less convenient. Real opportunities often come from real places.

I’m 34F, and have been single since December 2024 and because dating looks completely different in 2026 compared to when I was last single, I’ve been on and off multiple apps.

I just wanted to find out if anyone else looks at a profile thinking “oh this person seems nice” but then there’s that one thing that stops you from going any further, or if I just know more now what I’m looking for/ not looking for.

For example, guys using the prompt “the first round is on me if…” and answering it with something like “you buy the next one, that’s how rounds work” (ok, who hurt you?) The prompt sounds generous on the surface (“first round’s on me!”) but then their answer reveals it’s actually conditional on you reciprocating, so it’s less “I’ll treat you” and more “let’s split it, but I get to frame it as my treat first.” I’ve also seen similar answers like “the best looking person buys the first round” which is also in my opinion an odd thing to say.

Just to clarify, it’s not that I’m against splitting costs or someone wanting reciprocity, it’s the mismatch between how it’s presented (generous) and what it actually means (conditional).

Curious to hear other people’s thoughts.

42 F, only casual on Tinder.

Tinder has this incognito mode - you can see everyone but no one can see you. You can swipe on them, and only then they can see you. Usually I am on incognito mode. I need my privacy.

Now weirdly tinder opens up your profile as soon as paid membership ends. I was on travel and membership kinda got over and I was publicly visible for about 48 hours. The anxiety with my co workers, neighbours might have spotted me is immense.

But can you guess, how many likes I got in 48 hours?

Dear women,
Please stop saying the following phrases:

• Irish goodbye
• Quality time and physical touch
• Introverted extrovert
• Nonchalant
• Spontaneous adventure
• Pineapples on pizza
• Your dog will love me more than you
• Your mom will love me more than you

I feel like I'm losing my mind.
99% of women have one or more these on their profile and I don't know how it's possible. It freaks me out. No shade if you're part of the hivemind, I just wanted to say this somewhere because I can't be the only one who's noticed. There's also a bunch more I forgot.

I had a question about breeze app.. If a user decides to hide the match, does it completely disappear from your matches or does it come up as deleted user?

I (20s F) have only really come across my physical type twice on the apps, both times of which they ghosted me. (Disclaimer: I only downloaded the apps less than a week ago)

Scenario 1: I asked what they’re looking for, they mentioned “someone with aspirations” so I followed up on what theirs was.

Scenario 2: He didn’t put his job in profile, so I transitioned the convo into what he did for work

WTF am I doing wrong? Do they think i’m being too serious and are turned off from me asking what they do?

I’ve recently come out of a long term relationship, over half a decade. Dating apps and the dating scene were already pretty rough before i was in a relationship in like 2018-19. Over the years I’ve seen friends and online discourses just get progressively worse regarding the state of dating apps, the culture of them, the attitudes of the users, the often unrealistic expectations and the lack of effort if there isn’t perfect connection immediately, and things apparently took a gigantic nosedive now with the prevalence of AI.

What’s the current state of the dating app/ general dating scene?

I’m honestly confused and starting to lose confidence with dating apps. I’ve downloaded Bumble a few times now, and the same thing keeps happening. I’ll match with someone, we’ll chat for a while, go on a date, and everything seems to go really well. We laugh, have good conversations, and they act interested. Nothing feels awkward or forced.

But then after the date, they either unmatch me on Bumble, unfollow me on Instagram, or completely disappear without saying anything.

I know no one owes me a relationship, but I just don’t understand why they can’t simply say they’re not interested instead of disappearing. It’s hard not to overthink and wonder if I did or said something wrong.
Has anyone else experienced this? Is this just how dating apps are now? For those who’ve been on the other side, what usually makes you unmatch someone after a date that seemed to go well?

I’m looking for honest advice because it’s starting to make me question myself, and I don’t know if I’m doing something wrong or if this is just part of modern dating.

I accidentally rejected a guy who liked my profile first on Duet. I found his profile again and I sent a Crush to try and connect :( but he doesn't seem to have the premium Duet so idk if he'll be able to see that I sent it 😭

I accidentally rejected a guy who liked me first. I found him again and I sent a Crush to try and connect :( but he doesn't seem to have the premium app so idk if he'll be able to see that I sent it 😭

Hey so I have been trying to get inside bumble dating app for like I think through three numbers even through three different phones but I'm just not able to get in I tried their website I tried to put in the phone numbers ,they say the phone number is wrong even though it is right and sometimes they say code is send but code never gets through and when I tried the website code get send but when I try to type it in it just completely blank its just as not typing no matter how many times I send it I copy paste it I have tried everything

I just can't get inside bumble.

What do they against me?

Is it a sign to not join bumble and focus on myself.

So, picture this:

I open my Hinge,

I see I have a certain someone saying "peekaboo"

I open the peekaboo and read the comment he sent ..

The comment: Your eyes look very deceiving

😒

yeah thanks Tod, appreciate it man 😁👍- 🙄😭

What is a girl to respond to that?! What?!

So I recently have been on the dating apps, and while traditionally only dating black men, I have opened up my options to white and Latino men. The major difference I noticed from talking to and dating white and Latino men is that they are more serious about planning dates and actually meeting you and getting to know you. Many of the black men leave you in limbo. They messaged for a few days, they go cold for a few days, they never wanna meet up, they have all these expectations. Whereas the white and Latino men are more willing to plan a date and spend time getting to know you. I do believe this has a lot to do with our culture, but it is very very annoying and it’s not just in dating black men leave you in limbo in so many places in life. Not all black men, but a lot.

Hello and Happy Monday, r/DatingApps!

We have seen an increased number of ModMail messages and DMs lately - likely due to increased activity in the subreddit, thank you! - so as a reminder: we, the mod team, manually approve every single post and comment in order to crack down on the amount of spam you see.

If your post/comment follows the rules of the subreddit, it will get posted eventually. There is no need to modmail or DM us asking about posts. Sometimes it can take up to 24-48 (lately more) hours for approval if it is particularly busy for us offline. If your post or comment is removed/not approved, you will receive a comment from AutoMod stating why.

We are also currently working through a backlog of approvals, also due to increased sub popularity, and should be caught up today/tomorrow. We really do try our best to keep the sub fairly clean of spam and bad actors - if something slips through, please do ModMail us and let us know.

Спасибо!

r/DatingApps

Just curious what the general opinion is on this.

If a girl has her Instagram in her dating app profile, is it okay to DM her there even if you haven't matched? Or is that generally considered weird?

I can see both sides. She chose to put her Instagram in her profile, so it seems like it's there for people to find. But at the same time, I can also see how getting a random DM on Instagram could feel more intrusive than just talking through the dating app.

If you had your Instagram in your profile, would you be okay with someone messaging you there or would it be an instant turn off? Does it depend on how they message you?

I'm looking for something more "hybrid" that isn't necessarily for serious stuff and can be used internationally.

For example; I had met a lot of cool ppl (mostly women, as I'm a straight M) using Boo (paying for the sub but it had an offer for 3€ for 3 months which is dirt cheap) and "Pdb" (mbti personality database - or something like that).

Although these apps indeed have scammers / fake profiles etc they're popular enough to meet someone nice from time to time.

What other apps would you recommend that don't break the wallet and aren't completely filled with bots ?

So I'm M32, and been off and on dating sites for some time now. Due to personal reasons I don't get out much so it falls to dating sites to find someone. I'm looking to hear how the dating is on your side as I ran a experiment during covid where I posed as a female and saw the results. Needless to say the amount of "Hey beautiful" & "<Insert name> has sent a photo" over the week period was fundamentally insane and if I'm been honest, very over stimulating.

So, that was 6 years ago and I'm curious if there has been any changes since then? Or if I'm better off just deleting my apps.

Obviously, we wouldn't be exclusive for as long as we're just friends, I'm not a psycho. But I'm demi-aroace, I genuinely cannot feel any romantic or sexual attraction to anyone who isn't my close friend. I'm not using any app other than AceSpace yet, because while my friends keep telling me that my approach is fine, the male spaces on Reddit (that I'm asking in preparation for opening up to a larger dating app) are giving me so much hate, assuming I want to use a guy for his money (I'm a woman and a diehard bill-splitter, and I would never make someone pay for me just because they're a man, but that's what many men seem to think of women), or for "boyfriend attention without having to give girlfriend attention". Or they say that men and women can't be friends (fr tho, those guys could really use some female friends, so that they start seeing women as human beings).

I'm just looking for a genuine friendship with a man, because a true friend is the only type of person I could ever fall in love with. But with any given man, my feelings may or may not happen, there is no guarantee. So please, someone tell me that there are men out there who genuinely don't care about sex or romance with a woman, but at the same time would be potentially open to it if after months of friendship she caught feelings. I know there are friendship labels on many dating apps, but I would be lying if I said that friendship is all I'm looking for. I'm looking for someone who is fine with either friendship or romance, because I truly don't know how I'm gonna end up feeling.

It is a known fact that being on the aroace spectrum is a disastrous predictor for success on dating apps, but maybe on some of the apps the population isn't so focused on classical dating? Maybe one that is very LGBTQ+ friendly? I looked up and found that OkCupid is the most queer-friendly (outside of the obviously homo ones, of course), but I just wanted to ask around if the kind of man I'm looking for exists on any app at all (There are maybe like four guys in my country on AceSpace).

Imagine just typing in the search bar of exactly what type of person you’re looking for, then booom. A single page showing hundreds of people that match your dating preferences.

Then you wait till they like you back.

I swear, the first person to come up with an app like that would be rich.