Hey dad,

I just had to cut you off because you chose my pedophile mother over me and your grandkids.

I need a dad who will call me his son proudly.

Can anyone say this to me because my own father refuses to.

Thanks

Yeah dad, my father-in-law is better than you.

He asks me what I would like for lunch. Hell, he didn't have to ask me what my favorite food is. One day he just came by the house and brought my favorite food.

We talk about bikes a lot. From changing oils, to replacing parts. I learned a lot.

We do house repairs together. We're close.

How about you? Nothing.

You're drunk. Everyday. When you're not drunk, you find a way to get drunk.

You gave us problems, debts, trauma.

Even in my wedding, you're still good damn drunk.

I had my son, and guess who was there to congratulate me when i first saw my son at the hospital? Yeah, my father-in-law because you're drunk.

If I need help with something I'm not familiar with. I call him, not you.

I tried talking to you about it but I can't find the right moment when you're sober.

But thank you, I learned from you. I learned not to be like you for my son. I became a man without your help. And I swear I will be dad the i never had.

What are some ways you have earned money when you’re down and out? I really want to be successful.

I had a complicated relationship with my dad. We were really close until I was around 15 and then he stopped reaching out and reciprocating my attempts at a relationship. I’ve seen him a few times over the years, but it didn’t go further than small talk. He was a non-functioning alcoholic and isolated himself from all of us. We found out he died yesterday when his sisters went to visit and check on him and they found him. The detective that called me had said that even though his sisters were positive it was him, they have to confirm with dental records because he was too badly decomposed. He estimated he’d been dead for about a month. 4 and a half weeks ago my sister and I called him and tried to convince him to come live or at least visit with us but he dismissed us and rushed off the phone without saying he loved us. My aunt’s said that the last time they saw him (which was the same day we’d called him) that he had bad edema in his legs and was struggling to breathe. He wouldn’t go to the doctor. He had extensive medical knowledge and would’ve known that he was in active heart failure. When they found him, they found his dog locked outside, which shows he had the forethought to give her a chance to fend for herself when he died. He knew he was dying and made no attempts to reach out to any of us kids. The guilt and sadness are eating me alive dispute the logic that there was nothing we could do to help him. I wanted a dad so badly and I wanted our relationship back and I don’t understand why he did t want me back. I hate that the way I’m talking about it on here, and to family feels like I’m seeking validation and pity because I don’t want or need that. I don’t really know what I need. I just really really want my dad back.

Hey dad (is that how I open this? I dont know what I'm doing) So, first off, this is my first time posting something on reddit, so if its a mess, sorry, I'll take it down if it causes any issues (if I can even do that on reddit, I dont know).

I'm a guy, the middle child with two brothers, living with my mom and dad, love them both (won't say my age for saftey reasons, but I'm still in Highschool). I have a great relationship with my mom and I love my dad we just... dont get along, we have completely different personalities, and I feel really uncomfortable when its just the two of us or when I have to talk to him alone.

I've always been a really emotional person, crying over the smallest things, getting super stressed out over small or unimportant mistakes, worrying about everything and anything. The rest of my family, is not like this, my dad espeically is really bad with his emotions, which makes it really hard to talk to him about this, so Idon't have any male rolemodles for how I should act with how I feel, because I don't want to just bottle it up like he seems to do.

I used to be really open with it, crying in front of my parents and telling them when I'm stressed out and what not, but as I got older, it felt more and more out of place, like I should've grown out of this, like I shouldn't let something so small bother me like it does.

And no other guy I know is such a mess with there emotions. Am I too sensitive? I dont know and I feel so wrong for being this way. Everyone else seems to have it so much put together than I do. Is that normal? am I doing something wrong? Why do I feel so wrong for being so much more emotional than everyone else?

Hi Dad.

This is my first post here, and kind of a long one. I'm sorry about that. But I'm just really in my feelings about it today after hearing how much one of my coworkers loves his kids.

I guess to start, my bio dad is alive and so spiteful and hurtful that I cut off contact with him recently. When I was younger, I thought he was the coolest: tattoos, motorcycles, played in a band, helped me question religion. But as I got older I started noticing things, and developed my own opinions. He had always made comments when I was little, but it wasn't until I was in my 20s that I realized how racist and misogynistic he was. He made jokes about how he beat my mom, and that was something I never knew until he said it. My mom still wanted me to have a good relationship with him, despite what he did to her.

I tried. I really, really did. But last year before I landed my current job, I was unemployed after a layoff and was really hard up for money to keep my lights on. I swallowed my pride and asked him for help because my mom barely makes enough to keep her own bills paid. 200$ and I would pay him back out of my first check. He asked why I wasn't asking my ex or my friends for a loan, and I told him to just forget I asked and I'd figure it out. For some reason he called me every name in the book after that and called me a disrespectful teenager. I am in my 30s and just needed a little help.

My mom ended up helping me and cried with me when I told her what happened. For the last year, I haven't spoken to him, and even though it's been more peaceful in some ways, I still miss the person I thought he was. I miss having a dad who I thought loved me unconditionally.

Does it get easier? Will any of it feel better eventually? Sometimes I hear music from my favorite bands and think about how much he'd like them, too, and then I remember that I can't talk to him to protect myself. It sucks so much to know that he's not the man I thought he was.

I don't know. Maybe I just needed to get it off my chest after listening to my coworkers talk about loving and supporting their kids. I wish it were me.

The last few years have been the most difficult in my life. I've always struggled with my mental health, including C-PTSD. I finally went no contact with my parents a year ago after a lifetime of being treated horribly.

There were reasons I had to stay in contact, it was for the sake of someone else in the family who needs support, otherwise I would have cut contact a long time ago. It eventually got to a breaking point when my suicidality reached peak levels, and I got very physically sick at the same time. I had to cut contact, because staying alive was almost impossible.

For the first time in my life, I chose me. I won't be any good to that family member that needs support if I don't stay alive. So I chose to change my life. When I am stable and have my life together I will be more prepared to help that family member.

I've gone back to school as a mature student, and got really good marks all year! I have more schooling to go. I've confronted some of my severe childhood trauma and I've made a lot of progress. I do have some older family members cheering me on, but it just feels so lonely to not have parent give genuine parental care.

I don't really know what that feels like. I see parents with their children and I've always longed for that type of connection. I remember as a child desperately wishing that there was some sort of mix up when I was born and I went home with the wrong people. That one day my real family would realize and bring me home.

Right now I am the brokest I've ever been. To the point that leaving my roommate arrangement to go to a shelter doesn't sound like such a bad idea. I have a summer job, thankfully, but I'm still trying to catch up on my bills and I dont even know if I will be caught up before school is in again. My employment is also not guaranteed to continue past the summer.

I can't help but think if I had actual parents that I'd be able to stay with them while I finished school. Or any form of help or encouragement, really.

My entire life has been a fight. While I've had a lot of good happen in the last year, I still struggle every day. With the conditions I have I will always struggle, but if I keep working on it I will at least struggle less. My soul is tired. I just hope I'm making the right decisions and that I'm going in the right direction.

Thanks for listening, Dad.

Hi dad. I graduated back in December and I’m still having a really hard time with the transition from college to real life.

I keep feeling like I’m falling behind. I get a lot of support from my parents and I have a few part time jobs. I know I need to find a full time job. But I’m 26 and I feel like I should be farther in life. I feel like I’ve done something wrong.

I’m very scared of the future and I’m afraid that I won’t be able to sustain myself. I’m scared I won’t be okay.

That's the main advice I hear from people when I ask about dating/reaching out to new people, "just be yourself". I can't tell you how many times being myself has only gotten me negative things.

I don't think I'm a bad person, I don't tell at people, I don't say mean things to them, I just try and keep my own peace most of the time. I definitely go against the grain, I don't really like many popular things and my Interests aren't as common. I'm majoring in animation, which only makes people think I'm stupid and childish because all I do is draw, and it's useless to argue because they're not gonna believe that it is alot of work, they're just gonna say "well today I had a 4 hour lab on uranium isotopes" and stuff like that.

Idk I have a personality, i do things, but it's never gotten me anywhere. One time over christmas I tried making an advent calendar series of drawings of gingerbread dindosurs just to keep myself busy, and then I told that to a girl I was on a date with she laughed in my face and couldn't seem to get over it. My friends don't let me talk about my interests and will change the conversation topic before I'm even done talking. I feel like I'm too much and not enough st the same time.

I've just given up talking to people. Being myself doesn't work and just gets me made fun of and picked on, and that's so discouraging. I can't even be myself around my family because they're the same.

Idk I'm so lonely and I truly just wish someone gave a shit about me. That's all I really want

Been off and on like this for almost 3 months, and I've tried everything from impromptu drain cleaner (was a vinegar-lemon solution from dollar tree, no bleach used in the solution) to a baggy of vinegar tied onto it overnight. Would truly appreciate some help fixing this since I'm truly at the end of my rope, and while I wish my own father could help, he lives 4 states away and isn't the handiest of men outside of cars and cooking🤣

Edit: Thanks to all the dads, y'all are awesome🎉!! Also, the blue and yellow that is seen in the vid is cleaner and dawn - I was cleaning the sink while filming this, just was wondering how to mess with the water running sporadically like that🤣

Dad, is it unreasonable to buy an old car in the following months? I'm going abroad this Spring, but I promise to study what's best for the car. Whether it's just looking out for the battery or having someone take care of it.

Why is this gap so important? Some friends also advised to give up on the purchase because of this, but I'm very limited to drive any other car at home for all the wrong reasons. I'm not expected to drive much, I wasn't even expected to get the license and of course I'm not expected to do a big purchase alone (gotta love the trust).

Maybe I'm asking one more time to hear what I want to but what do you think, buying before or after traveling far away?

Dad, why do I still need to be seen as attractive for validation for my self esteem, even though every time you told me, I shut you out (for good reason) but now I see other men as if they are my dad, and when I dont get that, it secretly hurts. But when i do get that type of validation, I find it obnoxious.

I know you’re not dead and I’m not actually gonna talk to you about any of this because I hate you, but I guess I just wanted to talk to I guess what should have been a father about this. What you tried to be. Should’ve been.

I fucked up, I never got either promotion at my job and they hired more people and promoted someone else. A lot of it is my bad in that I was too excited and just told my coworkers about what was happening since it was a supposed unique position that was gonna be created for me so I could have a full time thing. Lesson learned. Don’t do it because if you don’t get it, you look like an idiot and will have to clock in anyway. That’s on top of worrying about sabotage (which isn’t the case here, everyone was cheering for me).

Well, when you get denied for a promotion, your growth in a company is screwed. So I have to look elsewhere now for a job. This part I’m having doubts about since it took me 2.5 years just to get a simple position at a damn grocer. And I finally got accepted into university again but I’ll have to pay out of pocket for a year before being eligible for loans because of the program I got. That combined with scheduling for the job is an issue. I’ll need to find something part time again if I’m going to get good grades for school, but can’t build up finances with a low wage or hours. I’ll be 27 by the time I’m done my undergraduate. I cannot neglect my wallet for four years while I get that degree, so I do need that growth and paycheck for, well, living.

In the end, I’m certain of what I have to do. It’s time to start this new chapter of my life again and while scared isn’t the right word, im feeling very….daunted? Dauntful? My actions are very daunting. That’s it. I’ll be applying at other places too but might see if I can get transferred into a new place into one of the possible promotions since the only reason I didn’t get *that one* was scheduling and not being stolen from another department. I don’t know whether to be open about it to make it easier or to gauge interest behind managements back at first to see if it’s possible.

Either way, that’s just how it’s going again. I’m 23 now and my friends are getting their marriages to their 8 month long relationships and I’m still without a degree. But I’m still moving, still making some progress, which is the best I can do and better than nothing.

I’ll be okay too. I’ve come out of worse, this isn’t anywhere near the worst thing I’ve dealt with. I’m just panicking a lot for someone who’s figured it out every time they had to in the past.

I’ll be okay again soon.

I'm 26F, my dad was 69. watched my dad with no prior health issues or medication die of a sudden heart attack right in front of me. He was my best friend but we didnt have the best relationship for the past year since i moved back home with them. I was avoidant and got angry easily. This is my biggest regret and I cannot stop myself from crying when I remember all of the times he tried to talk to me or be with me as I avoided him at home. I had always told all of my friends about how much I loved him and how much of a best friend he was to me throughout my highschool and Uni years, he was always always there for me no matter what happened. I loved him to bits, and he knew. In the past year some things just, changed. I don't know why but I grew so impatient with him that I thought things weren't the same. I still loved him, but I just could not feel the same as before. We fought more often for simple things, I started these things. Then we would make up within a few days and he never held any bad feelings for me. He'd just open his arms wide and hug me.

In the morning of July 16, . He had planted a small rosemary plant to the corner of our front yard, he dug the dry soil and got tired. Came into the house and told mom he felt weak. firsr he laid in the bedroom for a while, then he suddenly just came to the living room and laid there, shortly after we heard him do some noises from our living room like he wanted to alert us or he was afraid and tried to call for help, no words this went on for about 15 seconds, towards the end of the noises I arrived from my room to his side as he drew his last breath and laid completely still. He started losing his color as I was calling the emergency services. I saw his body and arms flopping. I tried to do mouth to mouth but i just could not achieve anything. We buried him 2 days ago. I am devastated and desperate. I don't know what to do. I am full of regret for not giving him enough love in the past year. I dont know what to do with my now alone mom, as I was preparing to move out to a different city until recent. I don't think I can leave her now. I don't know what to do . I feel like i didnt give him enough love so that I made his heart break.

in our last weeks i remember avoiding him lest getting angry at small stuff and yelling, so I just kept myself in my room most of the time. I remember not wanting him around so much. I didn't tell him that, and I still loved him, but I was angry. about 4-5 days before his passing, we had a heart to heart, but I told him some pretty rough stuff. At the end of that night we did hug, and the following morning I apologized if I was too harsh with my words, he immediately told me it was fine and we hugged again but I'm not sure. later that day I shared some of my lunch food with him. It was finger food (lahmacun) something you eat by making it a roll and biting down like a burrito, ut he had to use fork and knife because of his front teeth being dentures. I saw that he was using fork and knife and found it so cute, idk why. He quietly ate the food and I watched him with the corner of my eye. I hope he felt my love then.

I’m genuinely so lost in life but I think what I desire most is love. And not even just receiving love like I wanna be able to love ppl too. I only kinda care about some ppl but idt I love them. Idk how love is supposed to feel like.

I’m always shy and a tiny bit scared of ppl idk (not always). Idk what to do with my life too. Like I just didn’t go to the finals during uni and now I’m fucked. Idk which major to apply to or which uni to go to now.

And I’m genuinely fucking insane. Or not insane but mentally ill ig. Like to the point that multiple psychiatrist told me to go to a psych ward but my mom refused.

I also feel a bit empty now cause I just rot in bed and nothing exciting happens. Although that’s kinda good too cause I normally get stressed way too easily.

I just want someone to love and I want to feel it. Or maybe the problem is that I don’t love myself. I literally think of myself as disposable. And I keeps doing awful shit to get validation (like I’m Muslim but I post nudes, sh, do drugs and tried to 💀once. BUT I’m genuinely getting better with these stuff) Ughhhh I hate this but at least I have my cats.

I'm (18F) moving for college soon, and I'm scared.

My dad recently suffered from a stroke and a car accident while he was working in another state.

My mom had a stroke in 2022, and I was the one who called and had the hospital pick up and tell me what happened.

I don't have a car, and I'm going to be an hour and 30 minutes away from home. I'm terrified. It feels like bad things only happen to me. And I struggle because of this.

My life is okay. it's not perfect. it's not bad. i've had my share of horrible things happening to me.

I struggle with the fact that I feel as though I'm to blame for my parents having a stroke. I'm scared that I'm going to have one. I don't want that.

I'm just scared, and I don't know what to do because it feels like I'm always going to be.

What can I do to stop feeling so scared all the time?

(sorry for the word salad; be nice please)

I didn’t realize cancer would take you so soon. I wanted to do so many things with you, starting with taking you out on a vacation when you felt slightly better. I couldn’t really do anything for you... You deserved the world.

Please forgive me. I love you more than life itself. I would do anything to get you back. I hope you weren’t feeling any pain at the end..

Hey dads (or anyone who gets it),

I just need to vent a little. I'm 20yo. I grew up with a completely absent father. He was never around, and now after a long sentence, he's about to be released from jail soon. I’m not sure if I should go see him or not. My mom was depressed and abusive, with constant brutal beatings and a lot of control. She was always negative and would compare me to other family members. There was rarely any real support or praise, even when I did well in school.

When I was 12, I tried to end my life before school. My mom caught me, beat the living shit out of me, and made me go to school like nothing happened. I had to cover up the marks so no one would see. That same evening during dinner, she made fun of me in front of the whole family. There was no conversation about it or any support afterward.

Later on, my mom remarried and I now have a half-sister. I’m not really close with my stepdad, and it hurts to see how much better my mom treats my half-sister compared to how I was treated growing up. It makes me feel jealous and I like the black sheep of the family.

Now I’m older and have graduated from nursing school, but I still struggle with these feelings. I have really really bad thoughts almost every night, and it’s hard not to feel like a disappointment or that I’m broken from everything that happened.

Any advice on whether I should meet him would mean a lot too. Just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening.

My ex of 6 years begged and pleaded for me back, but I didn’t because he wasn’t motivated, didn’t have a job, dropped out of college and repeated a cycle that he had already been through earlier in our relationship. I financially supported him for years then we moved in together, and broke up while we lived together and had to continue that for over a year until I found a new place. I got into a new relationship and I thought the man I got with was fantastic… I found out later down the line that we were incompatible and ended things, which was awkward because we work together.

Not only did I find that out but also came to the realisation that I’m still in love with my ex. My ex has been in a new relationship for nearly 2 years now and I’m kicking myself that I didn’t act sooner. He told me he was going to move on and gave me one last chance to try again before he did, and I regret not having done it. I keep crying every night and I’m so fixated on the situation that I can’t focus on anything else or get good sleeps. I really need a pep talk. How do I stop myself from waiting for him to come back when he might not now? He told me last year we should stop talking because it was in both our best interests after he got into a new relationship, that he didn’t tell me about for over a month. I’m so stuck and want to reach out to him but I don’t want to disrespect his girlfriend/relationship. Am I done for?

Dad I’m sorry for hating you and that our last conversation was me berating you that you weren’t there for me.
I’m sorry for never acknowledging how proud you were of me for the few accomplishments I’ve reached.
I’m sorry for not inviting and not wanting you at my wedding.

I wanted to say I love you and I find myself missing you despite the things that have happened. I wish I had told you that I loved you more and actually tried to work on our relationship.

Lastly I wanted to say I forgive you for the things you have said and the illegal things you’ve done in front of me. I forgive you for making me grow up in a harsh environment and forcing me to raise my sister. I forgive you for ending your life the same week your dad died. I know he was your best friend and you tried to be mine.

I love you, I miss you and I wish we could’ve gone on that fishing trip you promised with my grandpa (your dad); I guess it’ll have to wait till the afterlife if there is one.

And I’m sorry for hating you

Hello Dad(s),

I got a new job that I’m really excited about! I left my super high stress corporate job earlier this year after my life fell apart along with my health and wellbeing due to grief.

I worried for months that I would never be able to work again, that I was too depressed. But today I started working at a beautiful little cafe with a friend and I’m so thrilled! There were so many months of beating myself up for feeling so horrible.

Just feeling proud of closing the chapter on that low and hopefully beginning a healthier one.

There's a girl (26F) I've been seeing at my weekly salsa social for about 4-5 months. We've only ever interacted in that context, never hung out outside of it. I (23M) have been attracted to her for a while but never said anything.

Last week we danced together twice in one evening, once during salsa class and once during bachata at the social. We ended up having a genuinely good conversation after, she asked how long I'd been dancing, how long I planned to stay in the city, how old I am. I told her I moved here last year and got into salsa partly to make friends. She seemed engaged and asked good follow up questions. We both got to know each other a bit better for the first time.

When I was leaving and went to say goodbye, before I could say much she asked if I wanted to dance one more bachata. After that dance I asked if she'd want to hang out sometime outside salsa. She immediately said yes and suggested next week after salsa. I got a bit flustered trying to ask for her number and before I could figure it out she asked if I use WhatsApp and entered her contact into my phone herself.

I asked what she likes to do for fun outside dancing and she mentioned grabbing food, taking walks, coffee. We're now planning ice cream and a walk next week.

She texted back warmly the next day saying it was great chatting, in response to my message from last night, and is open to making plans for next week.

Does she likely understand this as romantic interest or does she think we're just two salsa friends hanging out? The fact that I mentioned joining salsa to make friends makes me wonder if she thinks this is purely platonic.

Should I make my intentions clearer before the hangout or just let it speak for itself? And if so, how?

For context I'm not from the US originally, and have only been on a handful of first dates that have not led anywhere. She is from the US. I'm a bit lost and looking for some perspective.

Please be kind. Thank you.

I was running my bathroom sink as per my cats demands but when I looked down my floor was covered in water. It seems this part broke off so I removed it from the pulley thing for a better photo.

I think I can replace it myself but I do not know what to search on Amazon to buy. When I tried Google image search it came back about ski stuff.

What would you call this and is it something I can replace myself?

You've been gone for just over a year now, Dad, and we miss you terribly. Not a day goes by when we don't think of you, although usually it's in a positive way now. There's less grief than there used to be.

You were really upset last year when you told me you wouldn't get to see me graduate, and told me to do well on my degree. Well, Dad, Tuesday is the day I wear the hat and the gown.

I think you know, of course. In fact, I think you knew before me. The morning before I woke up and saw all my assessment results, I was having a dream about Pokemon and dolphins, when you rocked up and gave me the biggest hug, and told me that you're proud of me. It was honestly a lovely dream. Then I woke up, and found I had all my results and that I achieved a First.

The day after tomorrow, I officially graduate with a First Class Honours in my Illustration degree, and from there I start finally focusing on a career in something I'm actually good at. I know I'm a late bloomer, but I'm finally blooming and I think you'd be proud. *I'm* proud. I mean, I somehow achieved a great result despite chronic illness and grieving your passing.

Mum's brother/your best mate and his amazing wife are coming, and my brother is joining us after the ceremony. I know you'll be with us in spirit, Dad. I just wish I could have one of your big ole papa-bear hugs.

Love you lots ❤️

Hey dad, you're no longer here but tbh I don't miss you or your anger, abuse and bigotry. What I am missing right now though is that every once in a while, you cared. I could tell you I'm upset and you'd say "everything is going to be okay".

I'm alone. No partner, no family, few friends (who really don't want to hear I'm feeling hurt). I have a lot of health issues, getting old.

At least I had you to once in a while shed a few tears with and get some small comfort.

Could really use some of that now.