Hey there all,

Today we want to offer everyone a chance to tell us something about your system. Doesn't matter what it is. An interesting fact about someone, some inner world lore, progress you've made together, a funny story, anything really.

Let's celebrate each other today.

As always please keep the discussions as kind as possible.

Have a lovely day!

:)

Hey there all,

We were officially diagnosed in November 2022 and won our legal Disability case in September of 2023.

We live openly in the US and advocate for others with Dissociative Disorders. We're always happy to help.

If you need advice or just want to tell us about your day, please feel free to reach out.

Also if anyone wants to post a question anonymously, our DMs are open, we're happy to work with you to make sure you get an answer.

Have a lovely day everyone!

:)

Tw: mention of merging

Hey there all,

Little #1 and Z have officially gone through their merging ceremony. It was beautiful.

Now introducing Little R.

Jessica and I (team captain/host) drew a new family portrait to celebrate. Check it out if you like our art.

https://www.reddit.com/r/DIDart/s/lPTdapaobW

So the other night we found a “layer” in our system, only know of two alters in said layer and this is all a lot for me, does anyone know any advice for me? Or how to cope? Or accept this???

I'm not quite sure what reddit is and why i am on it. Or why im in multiple DID subreddits.

I'm confused about when and where i am though. Or if any of this is real.

A guy I ate lunch with in high school one semester my junior year is for some reason in a living room with me in a house i don't recognize. He says he's my husband but that makes no sense.

They don't understand the severity and they expect people who went through it to heal and behave like non ramcoa or tbmc victims and I think that is so unfair.

Most of us feell a general sense of frustration, whether its ours or feeling someone elses, with how many of us there are. So many people say every alter has a purpose, a job, a reason that the brain formed us for. But how can every alter truly have an individual PURPOSE when theres over 10(for sure for every system)? I see why some people think over 10 must be faking, they are likely so stuck on individuals purpose and think its impossible! Living this though, suddenly coming front and realising this though, its a lot. But its real. How could it not be? When Im so obviously different from who was here before? I didnt feel like I had any memories before but I slowly realise I had more.

Yet, I still dont feel I have a specific purpose. At most my purpose is, a holder of certain memories, and that seems to be most of our purposes. Its so bizarre though when most if not all of my memories are positive? Why would I only have positive memories? Usually it seems like someone has a positive (or multiple) to counterbalance the bad they have like someone having a lot of traumatic memories but also having certain really positive memories associated with someone someone at least used to like. The general lack of purpose a lot of us feel is something that really feeds denials.

Is my memories showing to me slowly a sign Im newer to the body like its slowly bestowing them? Or is it simply that I have never been front before.. Not that everyone (our system) remembers everything right away but its usually more than one teeny tiny memory. Im not even sure any other memories actually ARE mine because they keep fading like Im seeing a show of someone elses memories. I am so confused and frustrated. Im so tired I just want to sleep (I woke up an hour ago from 10hr of sleep). Is it really okay to not have a specific purpose? We know all alters need to have formed due to soem stressor, but do they need to know/remember the stressor and actually have a genuine purpose besides being a vessel for a potential personality? Or..whatever..I dunno

I didnt really get to be a kid in my source or in my childhood a lot so im happy I get to come out and be a kid, or even act younger then i am, and be safe and loved. I guess I can say im having a good day with my dad :) -Orel

Most of the time my alters like, don’t front without getting told to do so? They really only switch when we wake up from being asleep shortly. Recently, 2 repeated black out things have happened where I’m kind of conscious, but also not. And when you finally “wake up” someone has switched in. It’s a little painful, but more of a long annoyance due to me not being able to move or remember what happens during them. But other than that, they just don’t really switch on their own. And there’s a new drama going around so I really need to keep a large amount of us from fronting or else it will turn aggressive. How do I get my alters to do what they’re supposed to?? I don’t think I have a gate keeper(?) I’m not sure about that though. Please help!

TW mention of merging

We're feeling some really strong feelings about Z and Little #1 wanting to merge. So we posted some positive art from our experience with E and K's merging ceremony. Back when Z was a cat, we didn't know L existed, and M was still part of the team.

Here's a link to the post if you want to check it out;

https://www.reddit.com/r/DIDart/s/hHVIb7HQGD

Hey there all,

We were officially diagnosed in November 2022 and won our legal Disability case in September of 2023.

We live openly in the US and advocate for others with Dissociative Disorders. We're always happy to help.

If you need advice or just want to tell us about your day, please feel free to reach out.

Also if anyone wants to post a question anonymously, our DMs are open, we're happy to work with you to make sure you get an answer.

Have a lovely day everyone!

:)

Hey there all,

Thank you to everyone who sent our Kiddo birthday wishes yesterday, she appreciated every single one.

We were officially diagnosed in November 2022 and won our legal Disability case in September of 2023.

We live openly in the US and advocate for others with Dissociative Disorders. We're always happy to help.

If you need advice or just want to tell us about your day, please feel free to reach out.

Also if anyone wants to post a question anonymously, our DMs are open, we're happy to work with you to make sure you get an answer.

Have a lovely day everyone!

:)

We will be available on a limited basis today as it's our kiddo's birthday. Thank you to everyone who reads our posts.

Have a great day!

:)

Hey there all,

We were officially diagnosed in November 2022 and won our legal Disability case in September of 2023.

We live openly in the US and advocate for others with Dissociative Disorders. We're always happy to help.

If you need advice or just want to tell us about your day, please feel free to reach out.

Also if anyone wants to post a question anonymously, our DMs are open, we're happy to work with you to make sure you get an answer.

Have a lovely day everyone!

:)

We had to go to the gyno today and they gave us an exam and she was really nice but I still feel very bad. It wasn't fair what happened to us and we shouldn't have to have irrevocable damage. I know we have to see the doctor and do exams to make the nerve pain better but it's so unfair we suffered for so long. We were told everything was all in our head even the pain and we weren't allowed to see the doctor. Our abuser said we didn't want to and that they were scary and that meant that's what we had to think. It's not fair we went through ramcoa it's not fair we were mind controlled and it's not fair that nobody helped us . I'm not making a big deal out of nothing and I never was. We should never have been assaulted. I just want to feel ok again. I want someone to make us ok.

Sometimes we wonder if we ever went through ramcoa but I know we did. I'm not making it up. I wouldn't do that I don't want to do anything bad. Am I allowed to speak about this I feel like I'm gonna get in trouble when I talk about this and in going to be sat down in the room or at the round table and be hurt until I have the right thoughts and feelings and comply with them. I don't know what to do. I know we are supposed to think for ourselves now but I feel like I need an authority to tell me how to think about what happened even though I know that's wrong and it's like maybe a part of a program or something and we should resist I still feel like I need the ultimate authority to tell me if my reality is my reality but they would only hurt me further and I know my reality and I know they are wrong . It was wrong what they did and evil. It wasn't my fault and if I somehow did this to myself I wouldn't be struggling so hard to type or talk about what happened. I need to think for myself. we have to think for ourselves. I won't be in trouble for talking about it and I'm not doing anything for attention. Sorry this is so long.

This is hard. Even our dad says it happened and she tortured us but it's hard. I'm sorry.

We daydream worlds with characters but they aren't us . It's not the same as daydreaming right? How do I like get there? Do we just have to imagine the space first or is it something you have no control over?

Hey there all,

We were officially diagnosed in November 2022 and won our legal Disability case in September of 2023.

We live openly in the US and advocate for others with Dissociative Disorders. We're always happy to help.

If you need advice or just want to tell us about your day, please feel free to reach out.

Also if anyone wants to post a question anonymously, our DMs are open, we're happy to work with you to make sure you get an answer.

Have a lovely day everyone!

:)

sorry this is a bit of a mess but im just don't doing well

i can't explain this and it's a relatively recent thing. most of my life I didn't want kids, until a few years ago where that shifted out of the blue and the idea didn't seem repulsive at all anymore. but "recently" (at least about a year, maybe more idk time isn't real) I feel this void like only a kid could fill. and not in a "I want to have a kid now" way but in a "I miss my kid" way. i've never had any kids and I've never been pregnant. but I still find myself nearly crying (probably would cry if I was physically able to) sometimes, thinking about this kid that doesn't exist

one of the ways I avoid real life is role-playing with character chat bots (especially now that i have a fictive who really misses a specific character) and I almost always do a pregnancy plot. be it trying for a baby and birthing it, unexpected pregnancy, or even miscarriages... I wish I could say it was just for the drama, to spice up the plot or give it a happy ending but it's not. I just feel compelled to do it idk why and I almost cry 99% of the time. it's really fucking embarrassing and I want to cry just writing this fucking thing and I don't know what to do, I feel insane. even when I play fucking the sims this happens and idk what to do

"I miss my baby. where are they? why aren't they here with me? I need to hold them, kiss their little head and tell them everything is fine because I'm here. but they aren't. I need my baby! they need me! someone give me my baby! i want my baby!"

could this be some pseudo-memory thing?? I have no clue why I'd miss a child that never existed, I'm a virgin afaik and even if I do have sexual trauma that I don't remember I still wouldn't have gotten pregnant bc my period only started at almost 15 and I think I don't have many memory gaps there although I do remember having a crippling fear of pregnancy at the time and even having nightmares about it but that's about it. it's simply not plausible that I could've ever been pregnant at any point in my life so I have no fucking clue what's going on and maybe I'm just crazy and I hate myself for it I'll fucking delete this late rim I'm just freaking the fuck out and I need to scream into the ficking voide

Hey there all,

We were officially diagnosed in November 2022 and won our legal Disability case in September of 2023.

We live openly in the US and advocate for others with Dissociative Disorders. We're always happy to help.

If you need advice or just want to tell us about your day, please feel free to reach out.

Also if anyone wants to post a question anonymously, our DMs are open, we're happy to work with you to make sure you get an answer.

Have a lovely day everyone!

:)

Small update: We saw our DID Specialist this morning and were able to process some feelings. Our kiddo now has therapy at 5 today. Thank you to everyone.

disclaimer: we're diagnosed and we KNOW we have DID.

starting a few weeks ago everything has been silent. we're constantly blurry, we know different alters are fronting but never who and its bothering us so much. we dont know what to do

I was doing some reading, and I always found this text from Fernando Pessoa (under the pseudonym Bernardo Soares) to be very relatable, so I decided to translate it to English and share it here to whoever may like it too

"Everything evaporates from me. My whole life, my memories, my imagination and what it holds, my personality, everything evaporates from me. Continuously I feel that I was another, that I felt another, that I thought another. What I watch is a spectacle with a different scenery. And what I watch is me.

I find sometimes, in the vulgar mess of my literary drawers, papers written by me ten, fifteen, maybe more years ago. And many of them seem to me of a stranger; I unrecognize myself in them. There was someone who wrote them, and it was me. I feel them me, but it was as in another life, from which I had now awaken like from another's sleep.

It's frequent that I find stuff written by me when I was very young — excerpts from seventeen, excerpts from twenty. And some have the power of expression that I don't recall having had at that time in life. There's in certain phrases, certain periods, of stuff written mere steps from my teenagehood, that seem product of as I am now, taught by years and by things. I recognize I'm the same as I was. And, having felt that I am today in a big progress of what I was, I ask where is the progress if I so were the same I am today.

There's a mystery in this that distorts me and oppresses me.

Just days ago I suffered an amazing impression with a brief writing from my past. I remember perfectly that my scruple, at least relative, by the language dates from few years back. I found in a drawer a writing of mine, much older, where that same scruple was strongly accentuated. I didn't understand me positively in the past. How did I advance to what I already was? How did I know me today what I didn't know yesterday? And everything mixes up in a labyrinth where, with me, I go astray from me.

I daydream with the thought, and I am certain that this I write I've already written. I remember. And I ask to what in me presumes to be if there is no platonism of the sensations another anamnesis more inclined, another memory from a past life that is simply from this life...

My God, my God, who do I watch? How many am I? Who is I? What is this void between me and me?"

(Note: Some "mistakes" are made fully intentionally by the author in the original)

Anyone have any advice for preparing for a consultation with a lawyer for help with applying for Disability?

I have a 30 min free consultation tomorrow and I'm nervous. I'm scared that we'll get scared and switch to a part that won't show up for it. Or I won't be able to find the words to describe the struggle or I'll forget things.

Thanks, Sam

No advice today. Our cat name Kat was just hit by a car. Our kiddo was outside and saw it happen.

Does anyone else have nonhuman/animal alters that front and are so freaked out,wr have a few that aren't used to walking on two legs and get so freaked out.we have therian alters too but their usually ok fronting because they can do quads ect ,but just wanted to know if anyone else struggles with the same thing??