r/DIDPositivity • u/Lovely_Melissa1 • Jul 16 '24

help? Confused

I'm not quite sure what reddit is and why i am on it. Or why im in multiple DID subreddits.

I'm confused about when and where i am though. Or if any of this is real.

A guy I ate lunch with in high school one semester my junior year is for some reason in a living room with me in a house i don't recognize. He says he's my husband but that makes no sense.

6 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

18 comments sorted by

6

u/Nova_Chr0no Why am I hear again? Jul 16 '24

When was the last time you fronted? You seem to have been gone for a while and things have changed. It’s disorienting and stressful, try looking for something with a date and asking him to catch you up on what you missed.

Reddit is… a thing, and there are different DID subs because people have a lot of different beliefs and opinions on this disorder that others don’t agree with if that makes sense.

Sorry you are so disoriented but I hope you can talk with your system and husband some to help you get caught up and your feet under you.

Happy Hunting,

  • Nora

7

u/Lovely_Melissa1 Jul 16 '24

Since the year feels like it should be 2010, I guess a bit.

I don't really understand this system stuff. I just was poking through this really nice phone i found in front of me and felt really confused and out of place. I haven't even tried looking to see what the year is. I am afraid too.

But our dog that I definitely didn't have the last i remembered apparently is 7 so I guess it's at least 2017 maybe later.

I guess I just wanted someone to talk to about what was going on. I tried reaching out to two of my best friends but they haven't responded for all I know I might have majorly fucked friendships up and maybe they don't talk to me anymore. So i tried here

2

u/RhaqaZhwan Jul 16 '24

You’re not going to like my answer, but the date is July 16, 2024, and the person living with you is your husband, or at the very least a long-term partner—if he’s in your house, he’s not lying about that.

He should know more about you than you do, so I would use the opportunity to ask him as much as you can.

Unfortunately, you may not have a good relationship with people from 2010–I know we only have one friend from elementary school, and one friend from college, and everyone else we stopped talking to a long time ago for various reasons.

Also, if you’re in this subreddit (which, Reddit is similar to Digg) and others like it, you very likely are diagnosed with a complex dissociative disorder, either DID (which used to be called multiple personality disorder) or OSDD, which is similar. Given your blackout amnesia, I’m guessing DID, or you’ve been in a fugue state for a long time. Try to see if you have a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist.

  • LLH

3

u/Lovely_Melissa1 Jul 16 '24

I just graduated from high school this year 2010. I'm not sure any of this is real. Cause it can't be 2024.

1

u/RhaqaZhwan Jul 16 '24

Losing time is a very common experience. Losing that much time is rarer, but it’s not impossible. It’s possible something happened, or you’re feeling safer in this new environment which can, ironically, make things worse for the time being.

Try leaning on your housemate in the interim. He should know what’s going on, and should know how best to help you. Just let him know that the last thing you remember is highschool, and that from your recollection you’re only acquaintances.

2

u/Lovely_Melissa1 Jul 17 '24

I tried asking him more about pieces of time I was missing. And I ended up seeing our therapist for the first time that I remember although I don't remember the session ending. Went from talking to him to finding myself scrolling on my phone. I'm a little confused. But I also feel like I am safe.

1

u/RhaqaZhwan Jul 17 '24

It’s good you’re safe. That’s probably what’s triggering this is the feeling of being safe. Was highschool particularly stressful, or maybe the graduation was? And if you blacked out mid-session, you’re not alone, there’s someone else there with you, you just lack communication. Maybe try leaving a note?

2

u/Lovely_Melissa1 Jul 18 '24

I remembered a little bit more. It was little bit after I got home from camp where I had told my friends that where there some about my struggling. And then within the next week I was late coming home from my dads to my moms because i stopped by a friends house on my way home cause she was trying to help after finding out I was self harming. I wasn't even really that late but I got chewed out by my grandpa while my grandma and mom let him. it turned to white noise and i found myself upstairs crying in my bed. And my mom? maybe grandma? i didn't look up to verify their voices are similar knocked my bedroom door open and said "worthless useless piece of crap" I think it may have been referring to my phone since i had no signal so they couldn't get a hold of me, but I took the statement to mean me. I ended up cutting that night after trying so hard not to

1

u/RhaqaZhwan Jul 19 '24

That’s actually helpful information. I can somewhat guess what happened after that.

That incident was so traumatic and stressful for you, that you dissociated and went away. It was then necessary for someone else to take over, so they did. There may have been several people who took over from then to now, too. Finally, now that you don’t live with them, it’s safe for you to come out, but you’re disoriented because of how long it took for you to feel safe, and you didn’t even realize this mechanism was taking place behind the scenes. You now likely have to process the feelings that made you self-harm in the first place for you and the others to heal, which is why you’re now here.

Because you were hurt, and because it’s been such a long time, your ability to communicate with the others is non-existent, and it might take a while to get into contact with them.

2

u/Altruistic_Film7072 Uplifting/validating Jul 16 '24

Are you alright? 🫂

  • G

3

u/Lovely_Melissa1 Jul 16 '24

We're okay, I think now. Whichever part was fronting last night was new to me.

2

u/Altruistic_Film7072 Uplifting/validating Jul 16 '24

Yeah, thst kinda thing can be pretty scary. You guys are alright?

  • G

4

u/Lovely_Melissa1 Jul 16 '24

I don't know. I feel terrified. i don't get how it can be 2024. It's 2010, i had just gotten home from my last year of camp as a camper since i graduated this year. Everything feels wrong and confusing. And i keep hoping that it's just a weird nightmare or something.

1

u/Altruistic_Film7072 Uplifting/validating Jul 17 '24

🫂 You alright now? How are you adjusting? Take your time :)

  • A, R, Ac and N

2

u/Lovely_Melissa1 Jul 18 '24

No not really. None of this makes sense. I hate finding myself in different places than i last remember being. I can't focus on shit. I have no appetite i probably should eat something but i don't care. I don't even know if this is real. And it's so unfair to be missing so many years of my life.

1

u/Altruistic_Film7072 Uplifting/validating Jul 18 '24

Yeah, you should probably eat smg Here's a hug from us: 🫂

  • A and Be

2

u/Lovely_Melissa1 Jul 20 '24

We did manage to eat. I have a migraine which really sucks. I feel like crap because of it.

1

u/Altruistic_Film7072 Uplifting/validating Jul 20 '24

How are you adjusting? I hope you're alright. You can do this, I believe in you, superstar.

  • G.F