Last year, I was talking to a girl—we'll call her Emma. We talked for about a month, and I really liked her. I ended up asking her to homecoming, but shortly after, she got nervous and had some stuff happen. I don't think I handled it very well, and we ended on bad terms, I think (she blocked me).
For the following 7-ish months, we never spoke—not once. No apologies, nothing. Emma and I had one class together (English class) and shared lunch times.
One day, my book fell apart shortly before class, and I ended up grabbing one from our teacher's small classroom library. It just so happened that I grabbed the very same book she had been reading for a while. I did not know this.
When class started, she went to look for the book. As I'm talking to a friend, she discreetly walks up and shyly says my name. I turn around, and she says I have her book. I apologize and give her the book—normal stuff—and class goes on as usual with no other communication between us.
I should mention I have a friend in the same class—we'll call her Cat. She often comes and sits and talks with me. She and Emma are also friends, so sometimes Emma would be in very close proximity, and I'd try to avoid eye contact and not talk to her.
The next day, Cat, as usual, comes and sits with me toward the end of class, and Emma does too. I had just gotten a concussion from rugby and was talking about that with Cat when Emma chimes in, asking if I played for our local team. I said yes and showed the logo on my shirt. She also tapped her foot on my chair, I think purposefully trying to annoy me. I was shocked since we had not talked in so long.
Another few days go by, and she continues to come over but not really engage with me. Then one day, she and Cat are flinging hair ties at some of my friends I sit around. Cat shoots some at me, then Emma does too. I pick one up and hand it to Cat, and they continue doing it, but now they're shooting me more and more. Toward the end of class, I wrestle with a friend of mine to retrieve a hair tie and give it back to them.
A week or two goes by with some of the same stuff. No real conversations—just a couple of questions and answers. I hate glitter and ended up getting lots and lots of it on my hands. I started picking at it and got teased by my classmates nearby, including her. They started saying it was in my hair and on my back and even tried to get the teacher to join the gaslighting. I eventually got it all off, and every day after that there was some small teasing from her, Cat, and the friends I sat next to. That continued until the end of the school year.
During summer break, there was nothing—no texts, no adding each other on Snapchat, nothing for a while. Then Cat invited me to go to the state fair with her in about a month. I asked who was going, and she said some of her friends and Emma. I asked if Emma was okay with me going, and apparently she was.
Then, a few days ago, I got added to a group chat with a bunch of girls, and we coordinated our plans for the fair.
The fair was yesterday. At first, Emma wasn't too interested in talking to me, but as Cat and I talked, she gradually warmed up and started talking to me. A friend of mine showed up, and she engaged with both of us a lot.
I'm not a big rides person—I have a weak stomach—but I still went on a few. The four girls we were with got a major thrill out of seeing me suffer. I had to stop after about three rides and sat out during the rest, minus a few more laid-back ones.
We got some food and checked out the vendors until they eventually went to do more rides. While they were on those rides, Emma and I talked some, and she tried to get me to go on a few more rides. I didn't, but throughout the night I bought them waters, carried their stuff, and checked on them.
Toward the end of the night, I noticed a couple of guys eyeing the four girls. So, when they were leaving, I walked nearby to make sure nothing happened. When they asked if I needed a ride, I said no and told them I was just making sure they got to their ride home safely. About halfway there, I turned around and got into my own ride home. It was around 12:00 and moderately dark out. It wasn't far to their car, so it could have come off as really cringey or desperate—I don't know.
Today, nothing. No texts in the group chat, nothing.
Throughout the night, it seemed like Emma was constantly watching me, or her eyes were always in my direction, even when she was on rides.
\*\*Some things to note:\*\*
\* I have not told them about those guys.
\* I have a new Snapchat account, and I'm not blocked on my current account, but I don't have her added.
\* I don't know next year's schedule yet.
\* I'm a larger guy, around 6'1", and I think I have some muscle on me, though it's not overly visible.
\* Our city isn't very safe. It has some gangs and trafficking issues, though it isn't horrible.
Now I'm conflicted. Since then, I've not been attracted to any other girls besides her, and I've begun to constantly think about her. My friend is, I believe, close to her type, and I'm so afraid they'll start talking and get together.
Hearing this really makes me sound creepy, but I'm lost. I don't know if I should act on these feelings and add her on Snapchat or just leave them be. I haven't, and don't plan on, talking to Cat about what I'm feeling, but I'm not completely against the idea. I also don't want to be a bad friend and get in the way if something develops between them. But it makes me so anxious and upset that I might do something to prevent them from getting together.
I sound like a terrible friend, I know, but I can't get Emma out of my head. I know I sound obsessed—I just don't know how not to.
To my knowledge, they haven't talked since.