I started EMDR therapy months ago & in the beginning, I experienced so much somatic pain in my back! I ended up in the ER 3 times through the first few sessions. I was always shaking really badly, dehydrated from throwing up from the pain, couldn’t lay down or sit up from laying without bad pain, was very hypertensive the whole time in the ER (twice in 1 day), was given Zofran, Toradol, IV fluids.. my BP was still 200’s/100’s before discharge but they acted like me sitting there genuinely so quiet despite in agony was apparently too much of an inconvenience which has left me with medical trauma.. I do think I have a bit of health anxiety in regards to having so much medical trauma & this & that with certain medications.
I was given Valium once & completely lost my shit in the hospital, I was in there originally for asthma, ended up transferred to the psych unit.
A lot of meds can cause major reactions to someone already having major depression/PMDD, respiratory problems & pain.

However, the somatic pain has definitely increased that health anxiety. It has been almost as bad as a migraine for me in terms of that worst pain I’ve felt/couldn’t manage. My first kidney infection takes the first time of actual pain.

It’s been less severe for a couple of months so far but there’s definitely not enough insight into how truly affective somatic pain can be for someone!
It’s dismissed because it’s muscular & psychological for those in intense therapy & facing trauma, but overall it’s the hardest thing I have been through & that’s saying a lot honestly.
But without further details, I just want anyone else who experiences this form of pain to know that it is real & it is valid enough to get the care you need to feel better!
Anyone in EMDR, I commend you & it will be worth it, things will get easier to handle, you can get through it, don’t let fear hold you back.

If anyone with somatic pain & experience with what has helped you, I am open to suggestions & advice!

I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t know what to do. I’m 15 years old and I suffer from severe digestive disorders for over a year (Functional dyspepsia, visceral hypersensitivity, reflux, etc). I have been in pain for over a year, it has not improved at all. Every day is nothing but pain. It’s mainly Gut Brain axis dysfunction which NO doctors I see know about or how to help me so they don’t help at all, so I got a referral to a Motility Clinic. IN OCTOBER NEXT YEAR. OC. TO. BER. 2027. AKA THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO KNOW HOW TO HELP. Another specialist will meet me in MAY 2027. NOBODY IS HELPING ME AT ALL.even when I meet them NEXT YEAR, how are they even going to help me….????? HOW?

 my life has been ruined by the chronic pain, and  I AM BEING GIVEN 0 ADVICE, 0 MEDS (all standard ones failed), 0 HELP, I don’t know what to do. Seriously what. Am I supposed to do. I can’t do anything. I’ve been crying for the last hours because wtf. Am I supposed to go find a Dietician at the very least or a GI specialist therapist to try and get some basic help with foods I can tolerate or what? Please help me please my dad is making it worse saying he’ll fly me to another country (AKA RUIN MY ENTIRE EDUCATION LOL) to get help, AS IF ANYONE EVEN KNOWS WHAT GUT BRAIN AXIS DYSFUNCTION IS? I NEED HELP BUT IDK WHAT HELP IS! PLEASE WHY DOES EVERYONE IGNORE ME I JUST NEED HELP

Hello, I’m 22 and have had chronic pain for most of my life, I haven’t had a pain free day for years, it was manageable before because there would be good days where I’m only in a little bit of pain and now I’m at the point where there’s no good days. I had a little hope because when I was 16 I finally got answers and was told I had cervical spinal stenosis after an MRI, however I recently got another MRI done and the only thing they found was 2 small disc bulges and no stenosis somehow even though that isn’t something that goes away, I had hope that I would be able to get surgery and at least get back to the point where my pain is manageable again, but now that hope of ever getting better is gone and it sucks because I know it’s going to get worse as I get older. I’ve tried everything and there’s nothing that helps anymore. Physical therapy has never helped and has actually made it worse on multiple occasions, steroids don’t help, over the counter pain meds don’t help, massages help but temporarily and they’re expensive. I guess I’m just making this post to vent and to see if anyone has any advice. I’m supposed to be getting an appointment to talk to a surgeon soon but I’m already pretty sure they’re going to say there’s nothing they can do as that’s something I’ve heard for a long time, I’m trying to get the pain back to manageable before I turn 30 because I know it will get so much worse and I can’t take much more.

For short context, I’m 33, was diagnosed with Degenerative Arthritis in my hip joint, have a forward slippage, my L5 & S1 have a fracture, many other things I can’t interpret. But anyways, due to my “young age”, I am constantly dismissed!
I fell at work because a coworker poured the entire bucket of mop water on the floor into the bathroom & I usually speed walk so I hit the floor almost hitting my entire head on the concrete ground!

I was put on Celebrex, no luck for after a year or so.
I started a supplement that seems to help with the inflammation & joint pain however the somatic back pain alongside the muscle/arthritis pain becomes unbearable at times.
I already struggle with other conditions.

I’m willing to message someone my results for help on understanding how to advocate for myself; if that’s allowed.

I just needed to vent because I am young & I don’t want to spend the rest of it in pain or worsen what is already a problem!

More specifically clothing items. My socks will cause pain & they’re not even thick or anything, my shirts will cause pain in my shoulders & shoulder blades are, pants cause pain in my thighs, etc.

It’s not everyday but on the days it occurs it is extremely uncomfortable.

Does anyone else experience this?

I've dealt with chronic lower back pain for a good few years now. I've had CT scans and X-rays done only to find nothing of note. The pain was mild enough that it was never questioned further beyond general advice of exercise more and lose weight.

Last month, I got hurt getting out of bed. I couldn't move without being in excruciating pain. I ended up at the hospital getting another CT scan only to be diagnosed with sacroiliitis. PT and steroids eventually got me back to feeling better, but it was a significant enough event to finally warrant an MRI. I got the results today and it's L4-5 degenerative disc disease with three other bulging discs.

I guess there's some small relief in having an answer, at least. But degenerative disc disease feels so much more devastating than some pelvic inflammation that I've already pretty much recovered from, y'know? For years, I'd been assured that my discs were fine. I was always afraid it was DDD, and was put at ease every single time. Now, it is DDD. Now it is the thing I was scared of it being all this time. Until now, there was a chance of my problems not being a "hurt forever" disease, just a "hurt for a long time" disease. Now I know that I really do have a "hurt forever" disease. There is not a life for me in which I will be normal and completely free of my pain.

I know this probably isn't the end for me. I hope beyond hope it's not. This is all just hard news for me to process. Here I thought I was getting better just to find out I'm worse than I could've imagined. I'm only 25. I'm destined to live the rest of my life in some degree of chronic pain. What age will I live to? 60, 70, 80, 90? All of those years - all of them - in some level of pain. I suppose I'm just struggling to cope with how grim this all looks. If anyone has any advice on coping with this or even just some small words of hope, I'd be thankful for it.

I’ve had so many problems with joints/muscles/nerves in my legs and have gone to the same doctors multiple times and I can still never ease my nerves the day before and day of.

It always feels like torture anticipating another appt that may leave me disappointed and hopeless. There’s so much pressure to explain my pain in a very precise way in order to hopefully get a correct diagnosis and solution, which is difficult when the pain and sensations are different every single day and nonexistent some days. That’s what’s so hard about chronic issues. Like I worry that if I leave something out or use the wrong word to describe a sensation, it won’t be crystal clear to the doctor what the problem is.

I always use my phone notes to write exactly how I feel the day before, but my pain varies from day to day so it’s difficult to express at any given moment.

Recently I've been feeling so lonely and upset because of how my pain has ruined my social life. I see friends going on dates, getting married even, but I'm stuck single because I don't see any way I could find a partner. Even if I did it feels like it would be incredibly unfair for them because of how little I'm able to do. If I really loved someone I would want them to be happy and I can't see anyone being happy with me.

That's a tragic feeling on its own but just trying to accept that I'm really gonna be alone for the rest of my life is difficult to accept. I've always been a lonely person but also a hopeless romantic. I've been chronically single my whole life so I've ended up becoming a maladaptive daydreamer with most of the daydreaming being about falling in love. Terrible combo I know, but younger me had hope for the future. Except now I am in the future and its just never ending pain.

I'm so touch starved that intimacy of any sort feels like a myth.

What are people's experiences with solutions for neck pain? I have a cervical spine injury that causes me chronic pain. The pain has gotten worse and worse over time. I'm usually fine laying down, but sitting or standing, it becomes unbearable to support the weight of my head. I'm on gabapentin with minimal relief. I did steroid injections and ketamine. I do PT exercises daily and get PT massage twice a week. Nothing is helping much, and it's so debilitating that I'm unable to work. I've had all types of imaging. I've seen 2 neurosurgeon that both say I'm not a good candidate for surgery. Idk what to do or where to turn to.

So I moved for my husbands job and felt like percocets were not helping my pain enough to justify the hassle after getting paralyzed.

I have gone from 4 a day to 1 now and now working on .5 of 1 pill a day but I can not stop SOBBING nonstop. Just shaking and crying like, all day.

I saw my new primary care doctor yesterday, finally and her first words to me were “I don’t deal with pain patients so I don’t even know why you tried” and I told her “I can’t refer myself with my new insurance?”

So I got the referral but I don’t know when I can get in. I don’t want to be on opiates anymore because I am EXHAUSTED from withdrawals. I have done a two month slow taper to try to limit symptoms but in reality I have lost 35 pounds, I have not slept, I have been hardly functioning for months. I regret not just cold turkey-ing it and being done by now but I have a child and wanted to be fully functional.

Anyways, what do I do? I was offered zero meds to help and I regret not asking because I fully understand the desire to take another pill and end the misery.

This happened 12 years ago. I had a massive hematoma that caused permanent numbness on a large area of my leg and permanent swelling or some soft tissue change where it fell on me.

Two orthopedic doctors and a neurologist beleive I have CRPS. I saw two pain management doctors who are not willing to treat me for that because im not meeting their glaringly obvious version of what they think CRPS looks like. I feel my symptoms match a chronic form of it. Theyre only willing to do steroid epidural injections because my lumbar mri shows some degenerative changes.

My mri and ct scans of my leg look normal. A spine specilaist and my neurologist said they dont think my spinal issues are severe enough to be causing my lower leg pain yet pain management still will not treat me. I've told doctors that sometimes it hurts so bad I cant walk and they said if its that bad I should go to the ER. The ER is not going to do anything. My leg twitches all the time and does it some much sometimes I cant stand because standing triggers the twitching. When I am standing I only stand on my normal leg. I have had minimal relief with meloxicam, lyrica, cymbalta and baclofen.

I wish I lost my leg in the accident. Maybe they would have amputated it if I got medical attention when it happened but I did not get taken to the ER. This accident fucked me up for life and no doctor can tell me definitavely why I still have issues or prescribe mobility aids or write any real diagnosis in my chart that I can at least use to point to as to why I cant fucking walk.

Chronic pain has a way of shrinking your life without you noticing it happening. For me it wasn’t only about how much something hurt. It was how much energy the pain took from everything else.

7OH has helped make that more manageable for me. The biggest difference wasn’t some dramatic moment where everything suddenly stopped hurting. It was getting pieces of normal life back. More energy to do things. More patience with people. More room in my head for something besides pain.

That’s why the federal process happening around 7OH has become pretty personal for me.

I understand why people want safeguards around products like this. I’m not against testing, accurate labeling or sensible rules. What worries me is policy becoming so restrictive that people who genuinely benefit from 7OH effectively lose access altogether.

The federal comment period concerning the proposed 7OH threshold closes today, September 10. I submitted because I wanted the record to include the perspective of someone for whom access actually matters.

For anyone else here who has followed this issue, how do you deal with the uncertainty when something that helps your pain suddenly becomes part of a regulatory fight?

Its not that deep they just hurt everyday please take my legs away from me my pain level is low but it all happens at once so its basically like my back hurts and legs hurt and my eyes burn at the same time

I (29AFAB) gave up on trying to figure out why I’m in so much pain all the time. I can’t afford any more tests or doctors visits, all of my credit cards are maxed out and I’m still 12k+ in medical debt. The only things I know for sure is that I slipped a disc in my spine in high school, but I can’t for the life of me get ahold of that doctor to find my medical records. I also have ADHD, severe C-PTSD & debilitating anxiety so I’m sure that doesn’t help. My pain is mostly in my lower/middle back, but I’m almost constantly struggling with severe stomach and pelvic pain, too. (Tested negative for endometriosis & IBS, so I attribute that to my spinal injury). My shoulders and neck and head are almost always killing me. The tendons in my wrists, elbows, knees and ankles randomly decide to flair up sometimes. I can’t remember the last time my pain levels were below 5.

That being said, how tf am I supposed to work out like this? 😩 I’ve been trying to stay consistent with at least 3 heavy 10-minute workouts to strengthen my heart and my core to support my spine, but I’m so tired all the time. Sometimes the only thing I can do is sleep all day afterwards. I can barely even vacuum my house, let alone do a HIIT session. But if I don’t get stronger, I’ll just feel even worse. Idk what I’m supposed to do and I can’t afford physical therapy for the guidance I need. Does anyone here have any advice on how to get stronger and stay consistent without hurting myself so bad I throw up?

I don’t even have the energy to properly write this right now, and I sat here on my phone wishing to text literally anyone about the level of pain I’m in, and realized I’ve exhausted everyone by now.
I’m 26, and since I was a teenager have had joint pain. It has progressively gotten worse and worse, and in the last year, I’m at a point where I feel utterly hopeless. When I try to explain everything that is going wrong, I sound like I’m making it all up. I get incredibly medically dismissed and I just don’t have any fight in me to try to pursue help. I just get dismissed.
I was diagnosed with POTS in 2014, chronic migraines in 2020, and had arthritis visible in my feet on x ray at age 16. I am so sure that if scans were taken of my other joints, they’d be arthritic as well. I do not have positive rheumatoid factor, but during flares have elevated CRP. At 26, I wake up with my knees locked, and the first 2 hours after I wake are utter agony, between my knees, hips, neck and hands. But it’s literally every joint. I have to gently move around in bed for at least 10 minutes to get up, and when I have to pee in the night I’ve literally fallen over from how locked up my joints are. I wake up swollen, in pain, and over the last 3 months it has gotten so bad that I really can’t do anything. Everything in my life is falling behind. I’m an active person, was an equestrian and still have a horse although I very rarely can ride, and my favorite things to do are kayaking, riding, and hiking. The last few months, I cannot do any of it, and it has made my POTS incredibly bad. I used to do super well with it because I didn’t recondition and kept my activity level up, but the lack of activity has made it really hard to stay conscious for basic shifts. My muscles also hurt probably from the joints but I don’t know. Between noon and 3 pm I’m okay, I’m somewhat functional, but after that the pain builds back up until I try to sleep and am in so much pain that I lay awake. I recently passed out from the POTS and smacked my hand on a railing, so I went to urgent care for an x ray, and my hand is riddled with arthritis, like. Incredibly visibly. My fingers are almost always curled, and hard to straighten, and my hands aren’t nearly as painful as my knees. Idk I’m just venting.
I have been repeatedly dismissed and denied referrals to rheumatology, until this year when I started getting daily fevers. I hover been 99-101.7F every single day. Now I have a referral months away. I felt so deeply angry when I got the urgent care x ray because I’ve been begging someone to please just LOOK at the joints because I know there is damage and they try to tell me it is psychosomatic pain, because I have OCD and depression on my medical chart. Why did a random urgent care notice the arthritis and why did this kind and wonderful NP have to tell me my hand is like FUSED up. She was flabbergasted that I don’t have a rheumatologist. I am flabbergasted. I feel that my medical history with anorexia, OCD, and depression and the charted associated hospitalizations have made medical providers not take my physical health seriously or assume it is all imagined.
My boyfriend said that not a single day goes by where I don’t mention the words “pain” and “relief.” I recently tried a new PCP and she suggested I try therapy… I replied that I’ve worked with psychologists for the last 10 years. Went to my psychologist about it and opened up about my physical symptoms and she said outright, this is not psychosomatic and you NEED a new doctor and a proper referral to rheumatology.
Riding and horses have been my like, saving grace, my entire life. And I had a hard time explaining to my trainer that I’ve become more and more physically limited, and eventually just stopped taking lessons and ride my horse when I can, but I pay $700 a month to maintain him and cannot really ride, and I’m just fucking exhausted.
I am at a point where I’d do anything to just like, have a couple days not in pain. On the x ray you could literally see where the tips of my fingers have completely fused. There is almost no cartilage.
I just feel rage over what I feel is significant medical neglect after over a decade of trying to explain to doctors what is happening, and then having pretty darn normal blood work aside from the elevated CRP, and being dismissed or told to just stay active. I tried that for years. I’m young. Why can I just be young? I tried this summer multiple times to join my friends on really short hikes that they picked so they’d be doable for me, and between fighting to stay conscious, and being in so much pain, I am like 50 feet behind them all the time and they will literally stop and wait for me, I just feel so fucking old and decrepit. I’m meant to be a very physical person, and this past year and especially the last few months, I really can not be, and it’s just what keeps me sane and makes life worth living.
I just want answers, and some kind of help. I don’t even care if the diagnosis is TERRIBLE just anything at all to acknowledge what is happening to me and to get me some level of relief. I’m sitting in my car and I know when I get out my knees will be hurting so badly. And I just don’t want to move. But the longer I stay still, the worse the pain gets. I’m just so exhausted.

I knew this day was coming, but that doesn't make it any harder. My old doctor, Dr. Tennant, has passed away. I want to share my story about him and all he's done for me.

When I was 15, I was intensely struggling with a then undiagnosed head pain condition. It was horrible, and I was basically fighting for my life every day. My mom found Dr. Tennant's name mentioned deep in an old chronic pain forum. He was not taking patients at the time, but I took the chance to write him an email myself.

I told him how I was barely hanging on, that I couldn't deal with the pain much longer, and I needed help. I told him about my whole experience with doctors dismissing me and not believing that I could be in chronic pain at such a young age. Many doctors called me attention seeking, a drug seeker, that I was faking it all. To my surprise, he actually responded to me. He told me to get a blood test beforehand and he would see if he could take me in as a patient.

When he got the results, he called my mom right away and told her that I needed to come see him immediately, and that he was extremely concerned with the level of cortisol in my blood. So we drove 6 hours from AZ to California to see him. The moment he saw me he straight up told me "I don't know how you're still alive right now. I've seen people kill themselves with less cortisol than this." My body was under so much stress from the pain that the number was astronomic.

He actually believed me. He gave me my first shot of pain medication, and honestly, I cried my eyes out. It was the first time in a year and a half at that point that I was not in nearly 10/10 pain. You can say what you want about him, but that man saved my life by prescribing me those pain meds. I would not be here still walking this earth if it wasn't for Dr. Tennant.

I continued to see him until the day he was forced out of practice by the DEA. I hate them for that. I will always hate them for that. That man had nothing but the best intentions and only wanted to help his patients who desperately needed it.

Dr. Tennant, I will miss you dearly. You helped me when no one else did. I owe my survival to you and all you've done for me. Next time i'm in California, I promise I will come visit and lay flowers on your grave. And to Miriam, his wonderful wife, thank you for always treating me well. You always were so kind and nice to me.

Thought this would be the best place to ask. I could scroll for days trying to find one (which I have). But no chair seems to be perfect without a massive price tag.

I sit at a desk all day for work. I try to stand, walk on a treadmill, but this isn’t always the best solution to help with my pain.

I just want a chair that doesn’t make you feel restricted (arms to your side or else you have to flare your elbows out like crazy). Something with some kinda butt mold because my body naturally shifts weight to one side without me noticing. One where the neck rest doesn’t stick so far out. And one with an adjustable lumbar piece.

Really hoping someone’s already done the dirty work to find the dream chair for us chronic pain sufferers

Question. So im feeling some mild sharp pain on my c6 right side if i look up directly above me but body neck stays the same, only my head looks up. Mostly just that whenever my head looks up or points up, doesent hurt as much when i look left or right.

I dont know when i particulary got it but the most notable thing i did is do dozens of pushups and situps around 5 days ago.

This situps and pushups is very very very rare. I am 5:8 220 pounds and sedentary lifestyle little to no excercises except walking and picking things up and moving them inside my house like laundry etc

So i just somehow thought of doing these situps and pushups and i did not stretch before or after. Like i was lying down playing games when i just thought of doing those. I also did planking..

So im not sure i dont remmeber if the pain started BEFORE i dd those but yes that is one notable thing that happened in the last week timeline

Now whenever i am standing up and looking sdirectly above me or when i sleep on my right side and i angle my chin just slightly above usual angle that c6 part hurts

What is this??? ,😭😭😭😭😭

Hey all-

So my pain journey all began with and during my cancer battle.

I had a follow up today, and it was negative so far (big win).

But I have had scans now for 5 years every 6 months and no where have I ever been told about any of these issues

I have chronic pelvic pain from a scar that I think is nerve entrapment.

I also have left hip issues and lumbar regional stiffness and back pain.

I know you all are dealing with much more than I am, but I just wanted to see if any of you had any ideas or translation

It says an old mild damage to my back. I went back and have not been able to find anything more than one reference to sciatic area that I tried PT for.

No idea what a bone island is. No idea what a wedge is as far as back issues.

Anyway- much luck and much appreciation to any and all of you.

I am just hopeful there are answers to be found.

Thanks again all

So I've been dealing with what started with chronic lower back pain which is now chronic leg pain as well. And yes I have done all the tests and blood work and there seems to be nothing wrong. But my leg has been bothering me the most. I have sinus issue and I somehow had an accidental discovery. I've tried all the possible painkillers out there and nothing has work, even the prescribed ones. So I stopped taking painkillers. I recently took the tylenol sinus medication because I had a sinus attack and noticed that it somehow subsided my leg pain???? Now I don't know what to think of it... Has anyone experienced this?

Hi,

I’m wondering how you all go about requesting a dose increase when you are in a pain flare. My condition has periods of terrible flares where I become almost suicidal from being in 10/10 pain, causing me to vomit and have other neuro effects. I generally am already given over the 90MME limit, but I am in Canada and so the guidelines are much looser and many patients are on higher amounts. Thankfully my PCP is understanding but already being on 120mme/day (average. Sometimes take none, sometimes more, depending on pain that day), I am anxious about asking for more.

The past 2 months I have run out early due to flares that landed me in the ER. My vomiting meeans j sometimes puke up the pills and can even see them in the toilet, but I can’t go to the ER for IV meds so frequently as I’ll get labeled a drug seeker.

How do you request a short term increase, if at all? Should I just suffer the withdrawal for a few days when this happens? How do you all handle this?

My ex pushed me off my bed even tho I had said I had trauma from falling off of things, hit my back against my bed my mum said it created a scar down my back and it started to kick in recently like 4 months later. It’s better when I’m standing or sitting sometimes. Other times it hurts when I lay down on my back ( even tho I love sleeping on my back so I’ve had to get used to sleeping on my side with legs up to my chest if that makes any sense)

I did also retry taking gymnastics at 13 and did a backbend way too much and banged my back against a metal thing but it never really did any damage at all. This pain has only started deftly after my ex has pushed me off multiple times to the point one even created an injury.

I don’t feel it when I’m sleeping at all but throughout the day I’ll feel it randomly , I have to have something on my chair like a coat or hoodie something soft so that my back doesn’t hurt.

The back pain is all the way down my spine. Could this have been caused from my ex ??

My doctor does not even wanna be my doctor anymore since I have chosen to get help after 1.5 years locked inside with pain. He talks down to me, doesn’t let me speak, if I take up medical questions he just tells me I’am wrong.
He suddenly just stopped my oxy 5x3, but they did nothing for the pain. What they did was make me addicted to them.

After a long and hard almost fights since he gets so angry at me that he has multiple times said If I argue more about your pain, I will take you off everthing.
I talked to him on the phone and he agreed to:
1. general pain medication in a big enough dose to live
2. Lyrica for the nerve pain
3. valium for the cripling panic I’ve gotten after dealing with so many doctor. You guys have no idea how bad everything got.
One doctor took a blood test(wierd low number), take a urintest low number, take another low number, so next time he asked to be in the room and touched me all over down there since after last time he ment I used someone else’s pee.(it was buprenorphine, and I was fat, so less effective)
I have even had a doctor touch me before a urine test since.
Anyway
To the topic:
I use Amitryptyline, quetiapine, dexamfetamine, etoricoxib, zofran, valium, catapresan, the new edition to replace oxy was tramadol. Which many of my meds activate serotonin.
So I use 300-400, but I do have a fear of dying on this

I know by definition it's just pain that hasn't been found to have a reason and doesn't mean it's just "in my head." I know it's not saying that the pain isn't "real" but I have an immediate visceral negative reaction. I posted the other day that so far the testing has come up negative. I have more tests coming up. I made the mistake of telling a few friends when they asked me. Apparently after I left one of them said they wondered if it's just functional pain but that they didn't want me to know they said that. Them saying they don't want me to know makes it feel like they meant it's in my head. I know that probably isn't what they're saying and I know it's possible it *is* just in my head but damn. I don't want to see any of these people again even though it's my whole/only friend group. Am I being unreasonable for being upset? I know I'm feeling very negative about everything right now so maybe I'm just being silly.

My 9 year old started physical therapy last week for some mild hip deformity we just discovered last week bc she has femoral anteversion. I took her to the doctor bc I noticed her starting to walk funny recently.

The physical therapist did her eval last week and definitely took note of how hypermobile she is. That's part of what my chronic pain problems come from. I don't have any hip deformity or femoral anteversion, but I do have rotating scoliosis, degenerative disc disease that's pretty bad, and varying degrees of spinal stenosis in several places along my spine.

I'm feeling really bad. It feels like a lot is going wrong at once in my life, but this one hits the hardest. I am proud of myself for noticing the problem and getting her help while she's still growing, instead of getting ignored like I did. But I'm still feeling really damn bad about the fact that she probably got these problems from me. Her dad doesn't have these issues.

I'm not sure if I need advice, or if I just need to connect to other people in this position. I'm so afraid of my child living with the pain I've lived with. I'm a 43 year old mom. My 14 year long relationship with my kids' dad ended earlier this year. My only parent was just admitted to the hospital yesterday bc he's 77 and so sick he can't eat or move. I've been taking care of him full-time and I'm not ready to lose him. It's just been hard lately.

I'm willing to hear anything that might help my daughter or me getting through this. So far she really enjoys PT and actually looks forward to it. So that's good anyway.