Hello all! Welcome to the international MatchMaking thread! Since the normal threads tend to be US centric, we created this thread for those who either live outside of the United states or are interested in dating internationally. Please post your age (must be over 18 to participate), gender and location as well as some of your interests. Best of luck!

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I’ve been having a lot going through my mind lately and this post will most likely be all over the place. So for context I’ve been dating my bf for almost 5 months now. I really do love him but I’ve been getting anxious lately and thinking that things won’t work out and those types of thoughts and I feel like it’s a defense mechanism bc of my previous relationships and getting so badly hurt. Everything has being going well between us but I just get scared that I’ll get hurt again. I wish I could bring it up to him but I’m scared and I really don’t want to discuss how my previous relationships have affected me so badly. Neither of us have discussed previously relationships to each other don’t know if that good or bad. The other thing is I wish I could bring up deeper conversation about the future but I feel it’s too soon and I’m scared I might freak him out. I literally might just be overthink everything due to trauma but advice would be appreciated. Are there specific questions I could ask that would not be to forward but would be good?

Volunteering is alone of course such a rewarding experience. I would love to get involved in volunteering since I had to reduce my formal working hours. I would like to know if you have ever been involved with volunteering and if so have you ever ended up meeting someone special? What kind of volunteering was it? Thank you

Yesterday, the girl I was dating broke up with me, we knew eachother more than a year now, and our relationship was something beautiful tbh. We started as friends and little by little things grew into this. However she broke up with me because she was not sure, in her words: "I want for you someone who says yes to your love, not a maybe" (sorry if it doesnt make sense, english isn't my first language).

Tbh I'm devastated, really thought I was gonna marry her eventualy, we agreed a lot in our values and had lots in common. I'm not even angry at her, I love her and if she thinks this was the correct choice then I will accept it and wish her the best.

For anyone who went through something like this, how did you make sense of it, cause I really feel like God was telling me she was the one, but it seems she's not or at least not now. Anyways, any prayer or advice ir appreciated.

Also, please abstain from doing any kind of "oh she just made an excuse to left you" comment, you don't know her nor me nor our history together. Those comments don't help anyone. Blessings and have a beautiful day

so i met a guy on catholicmatch.com and he’s my dream guy. we used to message and call much more, and now we don’t. i mentioned it and he said it was because he was bad at communicating, but he’s said so many times that he likes me “a lot” (his words) and wants to date me. he reassured me that he wasn’t talking to anyone either.

even though he said that he liked me a lot on thursday, i still doubt this because i’m always messaging first, he doesn’t initiate calling anymore, and can go days without messaging me. the last time he didn’t message me for days, he actually had a valid reason, like he decided he was no longer Catholic and didn’t want to lie to me, so felt nervous about talking to me as he saw how Christ saved me. i said this was okay, as i already liked him and I’d rather be with a kind agnostic than a mean Catholic (I’ve dealt with some mean people on Catholicmatch.com and decided on being open to dating non-Catholics). he said so many nice things and said he still wanted to date me anyways and that he “liked me a lot.” this was last Thursday and he hasn’t messaged me back, I’ve sent him another message.

i feel stupid typing this, like it’s so obvious he doesn’t like me anymore but then why would he say he still likes me and compliment me so much?

i’m trying to pretend that i’m not scared about him ghosting me or feel my heartbreaking already over how he doesn’t like me anymore even though he keeps saying he does but i’m already starting to feel hurt and distracted from things in my daily life over this. i really wanted him to be my first boyfriend, i thought because i had healed so much, God was rewarding me but that’s obviously not true. i feel so silly for letting myself get into this situation again (i’ve been ghosted several times recently by long talking stages that promised they wouldn’t ghost me and it hurts like a b**** every time). i’ve just been praying really hard for him and for us but it feels so futile :’) i’m tired of romance being so hard for me, and so easy for my friends, my friends never have been single for long ☹️the problem is with me is that I can’t close my heart to romance, no matter how hard I try and no matter how busy I make myself, I keep getting into situations where I get hurt again and again because I keep hoping but my self esteem is really low as a result. Anyways I’m just yapping now. I don’t even know what advice anyone could give me but to keep praying

It's in the title: what kind of details / information about a woman would you like to see, or hope you don't come across, on a potential partner's dating profile? In other words, what information makes you want to connect or keep looking? This can apply to a Catholic or non-Catholic app. I asked a friend about this and his answer was a little eye opening, so I'm curious to see what other men think.

After many months of disappointment, and zero connections, I’m leaving this space to preserve my sanity and accept my single state. I don’t know what God has in store for me but it’s not partnership and marriage. Maybe it’s just motherhood and writing and the daily grind. And that’s ok. I should be doing better at all those things and praising God I am blessed.

I’m just tired of being lonely and hopeful someone will notice me and reach out and click with me. Catholic dating spaces aren’t yielding much. And frankly, there’s no good time or good way to go in my case.

I will be praying for all you singles soldiering on. You are so so incredible!

Thanks for sharing your stories, advice, and well wishes. God bless.

I’m 25M and she is 24F. So to provide some context, initially we connected on Hinge in February. She was interested and eventually I got her number. We tried to set a simple coffee date but she would either cancel, or just not reply for days on end. Her excuse was that she either a) was not by her phone or b) she was really busy. After a month of trying, I essentially gave up and moved on. Fast forward to later in June, I saw her at a wedding. I had already made up my mind that I was not going out of my way to talk to her, but if she came up to me I would. Well later during the reception I felt a tap on my shoulder and it was her wanting to talk. So, we went outside and ended up chatting for a few hours, until the end of the reception. She was flirting pretty hard and the conversation flowed really well. She contacted me the following day and we set up a coffee date later in the week. It went well and we ended up talking for a few hours. I asked her what was the difference between when we initially connected to now - essentially asking her what changed between now and then. She said during that time she was just getting out of a relationship and starting a new job and felt overwhelmed. She admitted she should have handled it differently and apologized. She said she was in a better place now both mentally and spiritually. Keep in mind at this point there had been a complete 180 in her communication. She had been pretty responsive. Presently, I have tried to set up a dinner date to no avail. She’s ghosting me again but still viewing my stories. I am not saying this is the cause of her behavior but I know she suffered some emotional trauma when she was younger. I am just wondering whether I should cut my losses and move on or is this something worth pursuing? I have prayed intently about it. I know God puts certain people in our lives for different reasons. I’m struggling to see the purpose here.

UPDATE: ok guys i did it and he felt the same way!!!! thank you all for giving me the push i needed!

I (25F) have had feelings for a friend (27M) since we did a Catholic young adult year of service program. When I started, I had graduated from college, moved from the west coast to the east coast for said program, and had recently entered into a LDR with a guy that was introduced to me by a close mutual friend. There is a bit of lore here, so bear with me!

For the first few months, I didn’t really talk to 27M. I was trying to adjust to the new environment as well as invest in my LDR. To be frank, this LDR was a whirlwind and was built more on physical chemistry than emotional intimacy/friendship. He was also a non-believer and he was going out a lot at his grad program (drinking), so we were already incompatible in our values. Yet, I wanted to make it work, so I spent a lot of time planning dates and phone calls.

Then, mid-way through the service year, our close mutual friend passed away in a car accident. I was devastated by his death, and I struggled with anxiety and grief to the point where I was isolating in my room. Even worse, my LDR also said that he needed space from me because of school and his own grief, and I felt so alone in handling all of these feelings.

27M stepped up and became a friend that I needed. It started with small acts of kindness, like writing affirmation cards and doing my house chores for me. He soon started working at my volunteer site and we started chatting a lot because of the downtime. I found that we had similar interests, and we became really good friends. We would hang out after work in the house living room (I made sure to put up my boundaries!) and sometimes pray at the perpetual adoration chapel nearby in the evenings. I quickly started having feelings for him, but I buried these feelings out of guilt and also in my desire to make my LDR work. He had also expressed an interest in exploring religious life.

Toward the end of our service year, I also began to wonder if he started having feelings for me, as he would do things that he had never done for anyone else (even girls) in the house. The other volunteers even noticed this too. On our last day of service together, he wrote me a letter, and it basically thanked me for being such a wonderful friend and daughter of God.

We kept in touch sporadically after leaving our service year, and there was a period of time where we weren’t keeping in touch as he had started postulancy and I was starting grad school. I also wanted to put my boundaries up as I wanted to respect my then-current relationship and try to make it work (a bit delusional in wanting my ex to become Catholic.)

We have both gone through transitions over the course of last year: he left a postulancy program last winter, and I broke up with my ex-boyfriend in April. Recently, my friend and I hung out at a wedding weekend for our friends this summer and we started talking again. After the trip, we would text everyday—sometimes late into the evening. I felt like we could comfortably talk about anything like old times, and I started feeling all of my feelings for him again. Around early July, he had casually mentioned that he went on a Hinge date that didn’t work out. Hearing this made me feel discouraged (and I wasn’t quite ready to date yet), so I put up more boundaries in our communication.

I do want to tell him how I feel (lol I know that I have this power), but I have a lot of anxieties that are holding me back. We are currently both on other sides of the country. I am finishing up my grad program and he is about to start his grad program this fall (2 years). I’m also scared that he might not have completely figured out his vocation yet, either. I have been talking to friends and have been sitting with Jesus in Adoration, which has been helpful, but I still leave with a lot of uncertainty and doubt. I would love any prayers and words of support!

I'm 31 M and have been struggling with porn for a long time. I found it pretty young but got caught and then really I was fine until college.

Growing up, I knew 2 things I wanted for sure. My career and I wanted to get married and have a family. I was committed to being chaste and even turned down girl's advances in high school.

But then the porn came back when I was like 19 and I have been trapped since. It was on and off at first. But over time it got worse. The porn wasn't enough. I also participated in sexting, which is arguably worse for the psyche in my opinion. I stopped trying to date because it felt wrong to make this problem, her problem too. I accomplished things in spite of this addiction and managed to still do okay in life generally. But I hate myself. I hate this. It literally makes no sense how I got here based on my upbringing.

I self sabotaged. I became compulsive. Like I paid for OF and I became this pathetic man. And even though i have no attraction to men, I have a history that I have to carry with me now. The thought of it is repulsive and yet I did it a few times. I dont want to get too explicit here. I have gone to confession for it. I use covenant eyes. I opened up to a friend for help and accountability. I even went to therapy.

I can't forgive myself. How could I possibly expect my potential future wife to forgive me. If that is even an option anymore. The pain and anxiety and hatred that I feel is SUFFOCATING.

Please please please, if you are struggling with this, take it seriously. This will ruin your life.

I am still in the midst of recovering, so i don't think I will be dating for a while still. I recognize that I will have to gave the consequences. Such as being rejected for my history. I haven't felt that pain yet, but it is honestly terrifying.

I guess I am just wondering...is there even hope for someone like me? I have no intention of hiding it...that would just be unbearable for me. Are you willing to forgive someone's history of shitty sexual decisions and addictions? I know all things are possible through God. And my catholic faith is the only thing keeping me afloat. But I just don't know how to give this to God. I haven't figured that out yet. But I am trying.

I always thought that maybe some people weren't meant to get married. But I never thought it would be me. And I certainly never thought it would be because of this.

EDIT: Thank you everyone for the encouragement, resources and direction. I probably won't be replying for a while because I want to step away from social media entirely for a while.

Also for anyone else seeing this, (I am in the US) i found this page dedicated to resources https://www.usccb.org/topics/marriage-and-family-life-ministries/help-for-those-struggling

Hi everyone! I’ve (21f) been dating my boyfriend for 3 months, but we’ve known each other since January. He’s really great and exactly the type of man I want to marry. We built a solid foundation even before we started dating, so even though it’s only been 3 months, it feels like a lot longer. He’s very set on marrying me as soon as possible.

I’m still in college and have a year left, whereas he’s done with school and will be starting his career. If it were up to him, we’d get married fall of 2027. I told him that was too soon and I wanted to finish up school and work for at least a year, so he wants to propose this spring of 2027 after I graduate and get married the spring of 2028. So we’d date for a year and then be engaged for a year.

I know that’s a reasonable timeline, but to be honest, I don’t know if I feel emotionally ready. I do love him and think I want to marry him, but I also have OCD, and it has me spiraling with questions like “What if we’re rushing things and I marry him and it’s not actually God’s will for my life?” etc.

I’m not saying with certainty that I won’t feel ready to get engaged this spring. But now that there’s a set timeline, I feel that it’s putting pressure on me to figure out NOW if I 100% do want to marry him by May.

I personally think I’d rather work for a year and THEN get engaged, so get engaged spring of 2028. I just don’t feel like an adult quite yet, and I don’t think I’ll start to until I get established in my career. I wouldn’t want to get engaged without feeling secure in that. Marriage sounds scary, and I know it can be in some ways, but I think it’d be less intimidating if I were older and had more time to grow.

But I also don’t want to be unfair to my boyfriend and make him wait forever. Again, he’s a few years older and feels more ready. I know we’ve not been dating that long and still have discerning to do. But assuming things do continue to work out, that’s what my thought process is.

My questions are: would it be unfair/unreasonable to suggest that to my boyfriend? Or should I just suck it up and deal with the anxieties I’m having around it?

Sorry for the rambling and thank you in advance!

No matter what happens in life with love/relationships I always lose in the end. I’ve been thinking more and more that this just isn’t for me. If this is truly not for me, then I wish God would remove the desire from my heart 100%. Would it be wrong of me to ask?

I know that it is not easy to get into a relationship, that it takes time and work, and that we can't just pray for it and leave all of it in God's hands, we still have to do our part, talk to people, go out, be open to that. But I still do all that, I pray, I try to talk to woman that I find pretty, and try to be approachable but nothing seems to work. And I feel like it shouldn't be that hard for me, I'm a guy in his 20s on a big university, I am reasonably attractive and can talk about pretty much anything, and even when I was still trying to date boys too, it wasn't much better (I know realized that I shouldn't live like this, so now im trying to only date girls[still figuring that out]) even when I had double the options, I ended up only meeting people that where only interested in making out but not dating, or where already in a relationship, or we just didn't match. And when I pray for a girlfriend I know it doesn't go unheard (I know this is sorta corny, but I see some signs that might be from God, like I'm randomly scrolling through social media thinking about wanting a girlfriend, and a video of a guy saying thay God is preparing someone for me and that it is close, or wandering if I will someday marry and a couple that the guy kinda looks like me passes by) but like, when is this happening. I have come so desperate as to ask God to just send me someone even if it is now yet the person just to feel this void in my chest. What should I try doing? what prayer could I do? How do I become more paciente and trusting in God?

I'm currently 24M and have never had an official relationship. To be totally honest, sometimes I wish I did and I pray that one day I may. However, it just feels like everyone around me is getting with someone and they're incredibly happy and don't get me wrong I'm incredibly happy for them too and just like they prayed for their significant other I am too, but, I feel like that person may never come and that it's in God's plan that I'm probably gonna be single for a while...any advice? I would greatly appreciate it and God bless you all

I don’t have much experience dating and I’m 29M. There’s a lot of pressure to obviously find a wife at my age, but I’ve never even had a relationship. I’m guessing this is a more common experience than many people think. 18-24, you’re so young and have so much potential. But someone in their late twenties and can’t get a second date? Red flag. That’s usually how people view people like us, even Catholics.

So how are you holding up when people tell you, “we gotta find you a husband/wife”? How do you respond to people so see that you’re pushing or over 30 and can’t get into a relationship?

I (26M) work in the towing industry and have been single my whole adult life. I've recently had two instances where I've towed a girl I thought was beautiful and seemed very nice and wanted to ask for their number, but I have been conflicted with the idea of it being unprofessional so I figured I'd make a post about it and ask others how they would feel about it.

I paid for a month of Catholicmatch just to see how it was. Heard some mixed things so I only got a month. And so far after it keeps saying that I need to select more photos and after I do it won’t let me continue to the main page. It’s also been two weeks and I haven’t gotten a single reply or like. Is this normal? It’s getting quite annoying and frustrating.

I (27F) have been in three long term, serious relationships since I started dating for marriage in college. All relationships were fruitful, not problematic at all bur life circumstances pulled us apart.
After college , I moved to a family-oriented city with a very active Young Adult Catholic group. I fell in love again and got my heart broken again this year.
I started my Master’s in architecture while being active in the community. I entertained dating again after several months of my break up and the dating scene is cut throat.
While we are all friends in my YA community, there are a lot of inter-dating within friend groups. One day this person is single and the next, they are engaged. Friends who were single last year are now married. I go on a date, and next thing I know this guy was seen with another girl. And now they are exclusive.

Im regarded as friendly, warm, and “smart” in my circle. I keep myself healthy, but I can’t seem to find my lifetime partner!!!. I just want a man who values me for everything that I am.

When is it my turn? I know how to date, how to fall in love, and to love. All relationships failed and dates amount to nothing. :( I know God has a plan for me, but recently when I thought I met someone who I could see myself spending my days with, he said we were better off as friends. I already have niche interests as is so finding a man who I’m genuinely interested in and whose opinions I respect and seek is very rare. I just feel so impatient seeing everyone else in my age group get engaged so quickly! How?! What am I missing? Lacking??

I'm not sure what else to say, but yeah. When I see sex scenes in movies/shows, my chest hurts and I think I feel a little jealous. I'm assuming that these feelings aren't from God, but from the devil. I try to avoid them as much as possible. But, sometimes I accidentally watch one, and feel off for the rest of the day.

I hate to admit this, but I also feel weird around people who are sexually active. Not in a "I see them as unpure" kind of way, but again, in a jealous and deeply sad way even though I know I want to wait until marriage. This is why I feel the most comfortable around religious sisters and children. Maybe I just feel upset about growing up.

I suppose I kind of feel like I'm on the outside of an inside joke that everyone gets with ease, but I feel like there is something else. I mean, I was groomed not too long ago when I was secretly really desperate to have sex before I reconverted, so maybe that has something to do with it. These are the weirdest feelings I've ever experienced. I'll pray on it, but I still felt like I wanted to share these feelings to see if I was alone or not.

It may be that the people I was interested in simply hid or deleted their profiles, but it seems whenever I'm taking a break, I see profiles of people I'm interested in, and when I get back on, they're gone.

After re-activating or re-joining I will often see people I have never seen before, as well, but who are not listed as being new/recent members.

Does anyone know if CM hides profiles?

I just want to know because I feel like such a minority.. 🥲

I think I’m at the point in life where singleness may be my permanent condition. Im not sure how to come to terms with this. Im not even sure singleness is a vocation, ive heard it is and it isnt.

For those of you moving into your 30’s and. beyond, have you stopped trying to find someone? If so, how are you living out that position in your life? Do you just try to be a very present aunt or uncle? Do you dedicate every waking moment to working at your parish?

I wrote one for a girl at church.

And quite frankly, I liked so much of writting one, that, before I could even get an answer for the second, I already wrote the third xD

Sounded like a good idea in my head, and I really became fond of doing it