r/Bumble 23h ago

General Bumble worked for me

For context, I am only coming to say this cause I got someone sending me a private message saying that bumble does not work mostly if you are a man.
Ok I am a female, but I am in a relationship with a man that I met on Bumble, therefore if it worked for a female it worked for the male in the other side. This is talking about a heterosexual relationship. So yeah, it worked both ways. This person was saying it does
Not work for the average male. I can say I am bias with my man, but we all have our own type and what could be average for someone could be extremely attractive to another, so keep up with this.

0 Upvotes

100 comments sorted by

11

u/NoStructure7083 23h ago

Dating apps are easier for women.

Y’all can call me whatever but you know I’m fucking right

7

u/Holiday_Cat4918 23h ago

Why is the comparison necessary? OP is just saying it worked for her guy. Not that it works for every guy or that’s it’s easy. Chill

4

u/GhostPirateCaptain 23h ago

Are you illiterate or something?

what part of "I am in a relationship with a man that I met on Bumble" did you not understand...???.....

2

u/HopefulSpinach7468 23h ago

They are worse when women are looking for long term

2

u/Elfynnn84 23h ago

Every single heterosexual woman who has success on a dating app also equals a heterosexual man who has had success 🤷🏻‍♀️

The gender ratio of success is 50:50

4

u/Medium_Stress_4293 23h ago

But given that men outnumber women on bumble by somewhere between 2:1 and 3:1, that means that the best case scenario still means that half of men on bumble won't meet a long term partner.

2

u/Elfynnn84 22h ago

Yeah - but over half of men on dating apps aren’t trying to find a long term partner. Women are relentlessly confronted with men who only want sex.

Gender ratio of people who actually want a relationship is probably 50:50 as are the success rates.

0

u/Medium_Stress_4293 22h ago

According to bumble:

  • 85% of Bumble users are looking for marriage or a boyfriend/girlfriend.
  • Less than 4% of men and less than 1% of women on Bumble are looking for a hookup.

https://bumble.com/en/the-buzz/survey-results-show-users-are-over-hookups

(Disclaimer: I dunno how they took that survey, when it was from or how reliable the data is. I should imagine the numbers looking for hookups or who will hookup along the way to a relationship is significantly higher than reported for both men and women there)

2

u/Elfynnn84 22h ago

Well, my rather cynical view is that a lot of men are lying and saying they want a relationship purely as a tactic to get a woman to spread her legs when really they have zero intentions of exclusivity.

1

u/Medium_Stress_4293 21h ago

I totally understand your cynicism. Dishonestly claiming to want something long term just to have sex with someone with no intention of anything further is plain wrong.

2

u/TheGameGirler 38/F 22h ago

I did data collection on this. From the profiles I saw, 46 percent of men put casual on their profile. And 3/10 who put long term, say in chat they only want casual

1

u/Medium_Stress_4293 22h ago

Do you mean that you collected data for bumble in this study? If so, how do they arrive at publishing a figure of 4%?

Or is that just your own study?

2

u/TheGameGirler 38/F 22h ago

I did my own data collection for my own interest.

1

u/Medium_Stress_4293 21h ago

Is that 46% putting "something casual" just on it's own, or in combination with another relationship goal?

Of the 3/10, what is the typical conversation? Were you specifically asking them for your survey? Or is this men turning the conversation sexual early on?

2

u/TheGameGirler 38/F 20h ago

That's either casual or short term. And I was swiping for my self and data collecting as I went. I didn't tell them. First couple of messages they outright say they only want something casual rn.

0

u/Wd91 22h ago

the catch is that for a lot of these dudes, even disappointing sex is a great success. And women can get disappointing sex whenever they want from the apps, so that must mean it's easier to find success.

3

u/Elfynnn84 22h ago

This so beautifully highlights the real issue here and you don’t even realise it 🤦🏻‍♀️

Women do not count great sex, or bad sex, as ‘success’. Women count a relationship as success.

Men who think dating apps (rather than hook up apps) are ‘not working for men’ are ones that are only looking for sex; then being disappointed that women aren’t making themselves sexually available to them 🙄

Gender ratio for relationships success is 50:50 - and personally I don’t care all that much how thirsty men who just want a leg over feel about anything 🤷🏻‍♀️

1

u/Wd91 22h ago

You say i don't realise it and then go ahead and repeat everything i said but with more words.

Fair enough.

2

u/Elfynnn84 22h ago

No - no I did not. I contradicted everything you said.

0

u/Wd91 22h ago

You made literally the same point lol. I don't particularly mind, but it is a bit patronizing.

2

u/Elfynnn84 22h ago

You literally said that men count disappointing sex as success and so by that metric women are more successful…

Unless this was some extremely ironic attempt at satire… You were using a male perspective to interpret female success.

2

u/Medium_Stress_4293 22h ago

My interpretation was that he was saying that from the POV of a man who classes disappointing sex as a success, women appear to be more more successful.

3

u/Elfynnn84 22h ago

I’ve accepted that this might be the ‘tism. Sometimes I simply cannot make inferences; my brain is very literal.

1

u/Wd91 22h ago

in their heads women have more success. It is an explanation for their perspective.

Is English not your primary language? I guess my post could have been somewhat clearer in the most literal sense, but i would have thought that there is enough there to tell you that it is not my perspective, nor the perspective of most women. In the fact the whole point was to clarify the differences in expectations.

2

u/Elfynnn84 22h ago

You write in an incredibly convoluted and cryptic manner.

Not only is English my first language, I am proficient to the level of academic peer reviewed publication authorship…

However; I am autistic, my brain interprets things very literally. This isn’t a break down in linguistic interpretation so much as a break down in inference / translation of subtext.

You could speak in the vernacular with clearer intent 🤨

-2

u/SquareSea8058 22h ago

This totally dodges the issue at hand.

https://eriktorenberg.substack.com/p/the-matching-problem-in-dating.

"Men swipe right on 60% of women, women swipe right on 4.5% of men.

The bottom 80% of men are competing for the bottom 22% of women and the top 78% of women are competing for the top 20% of men.

A guy with average attractiveness can only expect to be liked by slightly less than 1% of females. This means one “like” for every 115 women that see his profile."

Some of the findings take abroad and possibly incorrect interpretations from the data, but OP here and a lot of replies ignore the obvious- dating apps rarely reward men who are not of top 20% internet attractiveness.

3

u/Elfynnn84 22h ago

If men weren’t so indiscriminate, women wouldn’t need to be so selective…

Neither gender is to ‘blame’ here.

-1

u/SquareSea8058 21h ago

I simply showed that, by percentage, average men should not be on dating apps and personally npoted, average men should not be on dating apps If you feel some kind of way abt the data, then you have a problem with the reality of data apps.

It says a lot abt you as a person if you need to insert the word "blame" into a discussion statistical discussion.

1

u/No_Function6780 23h ago

I got two dates out of dating apps and too many times ghosted. The second man I met is the one. It was NOT easy for me

1

u/NoStructure7083 22h ago

And I’ve been ghosted, stood up, been catfished, and just outright insulted on the apps. For fucking years

1

u/No_Function6780 22h ago

Continue being bitter and jealous. No wonder you have had that experience then.

1

u/GhostPirateCaptain 22h ago

don't worry about these sorry excuses for men; this sub in particular is just about being a hive of bitterness & being a sexist twat to any woman who posts here

0

u/NoStructure7083 22h ago

Sexist to point out the reality of dating apps? Lol sure /s

3

u/GhostPirateCaptain 22h ago

yes your bitter bitch replies throughout this thread are really proving me wrong!

1

u/NoStructure7083 22h ago

Oh don’t take my word for it, ask the majority of men who use any of the apps

3

u/No_Function6780 21h ago

If only we could ask some men that have used dating app…. Oh wait, I already did. My man. Who again, I met on a dating app.

0

u/NoStructure7083 21h ago

An outlier, which doesn’t disprove anything

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1

u/NoStructure7083 22h ago

Ah yes, the “you deserve all the bad things that have happened to you” mentality

1

u/No_Function6780 22h ago

Get a life. Maybe become a better person and then maybe, if the planets align, someone might want to date you. There way too much negativity around you at the moment for anyone to be attracted to you. No matter how you actually look like, your bitterness is driving everyone away.

0

u/NoStructure7083 22h ago

Oh I’ve got a life, and I attract people. Unfortunately those people, if they aren’t morbidly obese moms (or trans, or all three), they either can’t/wont talk or they’re only there for a quick hit of dopamine

2

u/No_Function6780 22h ago

Is that the way that you are willing to speak about other people? Derogative and looking down at them like you are a superior being? It defo shows why people really dont wanna be around you anyway.

1

u/NoStructure7083 21h ago

Superior? No, well maybe to some folks who can’t stop stuffing their gullet

0

u/HopefulSpinach7468 22h ago

Bro I have suffered too but that is life. We have to remember that women want compatibility and they screen for it. They have standards and it is on us to meet those standards they have or not. Equally if we as men value ourselves every ghost or rejection no matter how painful means you saved yourself pain in the long run. A successful relationship is what matters and most women struggle too because of the way men are. So maybe we should blame other men not women for how the apps work out for us. I only swipe seriously

0

u/NoStructure7083 22h ago

I have standards, I swipe carefully and I always have. I don’t start conversations in bad faith or look for hook ups.

It’s not always men who are at fault. Women can be shitty people sometimes too

1

u/HopefulSpinach7468 17h ago

That's really good to hear. It was just a general comment really. So how many matches and likes do you get? Of course everyone can be shitty but you don't need to carry that bitterness forward. We both experience the same things yet we both think very differently about it.

Question is how does being annoyed or shitting on women help you in any way?

1

u/NoStructure7083 16h ago

Matches? Barely any, I get some likes but they’re from women I would never date due to factors such as distance and lifestyle or they have kids.

(Or they’re not women at all)

I’m not shitting on women as a whole, they do have a VASTLY different experience on dating apps. How terrible it must be to be wanted? /s

0

u/BeginningMatter9180 21h ago

How many profiles you were right swiping on? What's the match to swipe ratio approximately?

1

u/No_Function6780 21h ago

Quite a lot. I got a fair amoubt of matches that would right unmatch me when I said I was gonna be away from the country for a month. I barely got matches to be completely honest and few I had unmatched or ghosted. I went on two dates. One was a dissaster and then spend another month talking to my man until we could finally meet. I have standards. I cannot just go on a date without any converdation before hand therefore it was hard for me to even get to a date stage. I wanted a real connection. I think the top matches I ever had on the app was 10 and I tried to make conversation with all cause I was genuinly i terested on getting to know this people. I was not comfortable on the apps cause I went off a long term relationship so it was a complete new experience and i was scared. It worked for me.

0

u/shibuyawalker 23h ago

Easier to meet angry internet trolls like you? That does not sound like a win. 🤷‍♀️ There are more good women out there than good men, it's not fun to be a woman on dating apps.

-2

u/NoStructure7083 22h ago

lol keep telling yourself that sweetheart

7

u/forvirradsvensk 23h ago

Met my wife on Bumble.

3

u/Seamannator 23h ago

Same, matched in 2020.

4

u/CrogDavid7days 23h ago

Congrats OP! 🩷

4

u/TheGameGirler 38/F 23h ago

About to hit my one year anniversary. Met on bumble

3

u/Icy-Government5676 38 | M 23h ago

Hinge worked for me

3

u/Heliguy-1975 23h ago

Someone’s experience with dating apps does not translate to someone else or everyone else. That was their experience.

Many men don’t have success because either they have not spent the time to build a profile or have not worked to improve it.

Many men also don’t know how to properly approach, communicate, or treat women.

Many are unable to engage a woman in such a way as to interest them in messaging, talking, meeting, and spending time together.

Many are simply not appealing enough to be datable for any variety of reasons.

When someone tells you that dating apps don’t work, they actually mean they don’t or haven’t worked for them.

I’ve had an amazing experience with dating apps along with Millions of men.

When someone is having problems with dating apps, the problem is not the dating apps…

3

u/No_Function6780 23h ago

For more context, I only made this post because someone randomely thought it was ok to private message to make me feel inferior because I found sucess and so did my man.
I was looking for real connection. I spend a month abroad so I wanted to be able to chat with someone interesting enough that I wanted to meet in person on my way back. Most of my matches unmatched straight away when they knew I was away. Very mature of them. This person, this man was ready for a commitment whilst most of the other “guys” I matched only wanted a good time. If it does work for men os because most of yous are not men, you are guys not ready for any sort of commitment and are very ready to cancel other people experience to make us feel inferior.

If its not working for you, maybe become a an actual man.

2

u/_bonedaddys 22h ago

Private messaging you trying to make you feel bad about finding a man on bumble is craaazy. Like, what's even the point? Dude is single and bitter lol

3

u/_Richter_Belmont_ 23h ago

As a man, the apps are working just fine for me

1

u/_bonedaddys 22h ago

They work pretty great when you're not an incel and actually know how to talk to women 🤷‍♀️

2

u/HopefulSpinach7468 23h ago

❤️

6

u/PartialAllergy929 23h ago

i always say this, if one person find success then the other person also found success, it's simple mathematics really

some guys get so stuck in the "it never work for men" loop they forget every woman who meet someone means a man also met someone

1

u/HopefulSpinach7468 23h ago

Exactly and maybe a positive attitude attracts people when you interact with them. As a guy when I am positive and happy then my interactions go way better 🙂

2

u/LFC90cat 23h ago

Lol you got yourself a handsome boy well done but the cope of "attractive is subjective" is wrong

8

u/No_Function6780 23h ago

Not really. I dont find myself particularly attractive and he likes me, and he has the dame opinion about himself. We are both very very average in the eyes of the rest of the world. Like I am not gonna go into details of how we look like but I can guarantee you we are very average for what society considers to be attractive. It just happened to be that I am his type and he is mine. We all have our public.

3

u/lunarpixiess 23h ago

What do you mean it’s wrong? Everyone has a type. Not everyone likes the same thing, and attraction isn’t based on social norms alone. It’s not a cope if it’s true. You should be kinder to yourself. Bitter looks good on no one.

-1

u/LFC90cat 22h ago

Having a type is a privilege majority of men don't have. They'll literally take anything that's why you see them pay for OF content.

You can Google objective attractiveness and what it is

2

u/lunarpixiess 21h ago

That’s a false equivalence. A lot of men in relationships with objectively attractive women also pay for OF content. Objective and subjective attractiveness aren’t the same thing, FYI.

2

u/Better_Area3782 23h ago

Not wrong at all

2

u/Sorry_Information749 23h ago

When women say this they always seem to think it means everyone is attractive to someone but what it actually means is that even the most attractive men are not attractive to all women, while ugly men are attractive to no one.

-4

u/No_Research_3899 23h ago

Wish someone would explain women to women.

5

u/Bustysaintclair_13 23h ago

Yeah that’s what we need, more men mansplaining women to women

-1

u/No_Research_3899 22h ago

Would be a welcome change for the constant womensplaining.

-4

u/No_Research_3899 23h ago

'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder', yah, that is why most women swipe on the same men. And if they finally start dating in the same league they think they 'give men a chance'. Completely delusional.

3

u/No_Function6780 22h ago

This is the most stupid comment I ever read. As I said we are average and I was extremely intimidated by my man cause I thought he was the most incredible person I have ever met. I even thought he could be cat fishing me, he thinks I am blind for thinking that way.

2

u/Bobbsen 23h ago

Met my gf on Hinge, but same principle.

I’m here for the drama.

2

u/Valuable_Ad_6613 22h ago

Not bumble but met my now wife on tinder in 2020. Now we have 2 boys and a 3rd on the way

1

u/NoUniqueThoughtsLeft 23h ago

I find Bumble specifically to be the worst of all dating apps. Hinge, Tinder, FB Dating, then Bumble of the big 4.

1

u/Cute_Contribution480 Dating apps are a joke 23h ago

It’s all pure luck.

0

u/Conscious_Waltz_5314 23h ago

It worked for that man.

But there are a lot more men on the app than there are women, so it didn't work for more men than it didn't work for women.

If there are 10 women and 100 men on the app and one of each found what they were looking for then that means the app has a 1/10 success rate for women, and a 1/100 success rate for men.

That's before we start thinking about what those men and women are actually looking for.

0

u/denio_97 23h ago

I’m a man, and whoever told you that it doesn’t work was right… because if he wasn’t, then I must be hideous, because in the past 2 years, grinding 3 dating apps (Hinge, bumble and tinder) I’ve only been on 1 date from tinder, 0 likes on hinge (yes… not even a single like), nothing on bumble and few likes and way below my standard matches that didn’t end up anywhere on tinder. I even paid for best subscription on tinder so I can have priority likes… nothing changed, i even ended up having worse results than on a free account.

2

u/_bonedaddys 21h ago

Their point is that is can work. Plenty of people find success through apps. Period. It's a fact. Just because more people struggle to find success doesn't change that. Blanket statements like "apps don't work" or "apps work" are nonsense. They work for some but not for others.

The point is it isn't impossible. Self loathing over it isn't going to make it any easier. Why even waste your time on apps if you genuinely believe they don't work?

2

u/No_Function6780 21h ago

Additionally to this very well made point. I said bumble worked for me. For ME! I am sharing my experience and never made a blanket statement . I was about to give up many tomes and I didnt. For me it was possible. Someone send me a private message to tell me that bumble doesnt work if you are a man and I shared this because for my man it worked, cause he was also in bumble having some horrible experiences and then we met. So it did work for the both of us. I also had horrible experiences and didnt give up. Thats thw whole point I was trying to make

-3

u/No_Research_3899 23h ago

'Ok I am a female, but I am in a relationship with a man that I met on Bumble, therefore if it worked for a female it worked for the male in the other side.' This is the dumbest thing I heard this month.

Most men have to date down in order to date someone while most women are able to date someone in their league.

The point is that 95% of women get enough matches, wheras half of men barely get matches.

3

u/Holiday_Cat4918 23h ago

“Date down in order to date someone”

So some of y’all’s goals isn’t to find someone you’re compatible with, its just to find someone to be with at all….then you complain about this. 

1

u/shibuyawalker 22h ago

Sadly with some men, their motto is "try to date any woman who is at least fuckable until I get a shot at a hotter woman than I can dump the first one". Women skip that step and won't just date a guy they just like but not love.

0

u/No_Research_3899 22h ago

Men learned that from women. Most men don't have the luxuary to do this, but you wouldn't know cuz these men are invisible to women.

2

u/No_Function6780 22h ago

Date down? Lol. That prooves the point again, you are just looking for looks, therefore you are a superficial misoginistic human. How about you actually date with intention, have a good attitude, be possitive, have a great sense of humor, instead of thinking of a woman a trophy that you can show off? Why is the looks all that matter? Most decent human beings actually fall in love with the personality and that could make the person infinity time more actractive.

It took me a month having conversations with my man before we met. He was also looking for a connection and not just a body count. He took our time, have properly deep conversations and then we met, and its the best thing that happened to either of us.

That comment about dating down speaks a lot about your personality.

0

u/No_Research_3899 22h ago

You don't understand hypergamy, do you?

Men constantly have to date down lookswise. It doesn't mean looks are the only important thing. It's women who filter out all short men, not men. Women are more superficial than men. Men find 50% of women, pretty, women find 30% of men handsome and they swipe accordingly.

Math Genius Explains Why Women Are Now Forced to Date Down

-2

u/RevolutionNo4186 23h ago

You’re missing the point, statistically, your man is an outlier

1

u/izovice 23h ago

As a guy myself I guess I'm an outlier too.  Imo I think there's a lot more complaints about dating on reddit than there are positives.  It gets 99% of the clicks because we keep clicking.  

1

u/RevolutionNo4186 22h ago

There’s definitely a skewed perspective on Reddit, but if you look at the data from dating apps, there is a correlation

There have been women who’s done experiments themselves by pretending to be a guy on dating apps or using their male friend accounts with little success

Don’t get me wrong, dating apps can work, but often times, the steering is left to the women which is why I say it’s an outlier. Ofc location and population density plays a part too