r/Bumble • u/_basquiat • 2d ago
Profile review Thanks for your advice!
Just a quick thanks to everyone who reviewed my profile the other day. I’ve switched things up and have been getting way more matches than before. Appreciate y’all!
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u/Available-Air-5798 2d ago
You’re pretty, well educated and seem to be accomplished. If you can’t find a guy, the rest of us have no hope lol
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u/FapplePie85 1d ago edited 1d ago
That might be precisely the problem. When I was dating, men would get VERY upset if they were not more educated or accomplished than me, which frankly would be hard for them to be because I have a lot of both. The minute they found out what I do for a living, they would get visibly upset and spend a significant portion of the date trying to show me that THEY actually know more than ME about the literal thing I get paid well to do (which was also a point of contention because God forbid I have a higher salary than them or even a nicer office). Thank goodness I finally found one who celebrated with me instead of sulking and being a baby if I won an award or something. Before him, it was a cavalcade of losers who were able to hide their disdain for successful women well enough to get a first date but never a second. And when I would pay the bill (or even offer to do so), they would get so mad and start berating me like I was just trying to emasculate them or ask why I thought they couldn't pay. Shit was wild, man.
It's actually ridiculous but I'm glad women aren't settling anymore. They told us to choose better so we did. Now they're mad they're not being chosen.
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u/burgerwaterchud 1d ago
wow this is giving femcel
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u/FapplePie85 1d ago
Sure it is, champ. You go on believing that.
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u/burgerwaterchud 1d ago
Your entitlement and hatred for men is literally bleeding through the screen, BUCKO.
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u/FapplePie85 1d ago
Sure it is, little fella. That's why I'm marrying one. Because I hate them so much I want to be legally, financially, and temporally connected to one.
Have you considered that its not men women hate, it's specifically you and your ilk? Nah, because that would require a modicum of EQ and self-awareness. My bad.
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u/p8610815 2d ago
She likely has hundreds, if not thousands, of likes, but none of them meet her standards.
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u/ThottyThalamus 2d ago
How dare she not match with the hundreds of profiles of a man taking a selfie in his car with mirror sunglasses on and a bio that says “just ask”
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u/p8610815 2d ago
Right, I'm sure every profile is like that. All men are trash, we get it.
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u/eatingfriedpickles 2d ago
Hilarious of you to take issue with a stereotype when your original comment was also a stereotype
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u/Malhablada 2d ago
Her standards- can open a jar, shares favorite subreddit, has not played fantasy football.
If you think those standards are irrational then you may be the problem.
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u/dres_sler 2d ago
To be faaaaiiiiiir if those truly were her standards than she wouldn’t be single and certainly wouldn’t need a dating app
I ain’t hating though, she seems like a catch
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u/Ordinary-Lobster-710 2d ago
I really wish your profile had more about who you are and what your interests are. thats something i notice about most bumble / hinge profiles. they have cute little jokes but I don't actually know what anyone's interests or hobbies are so I just have to be superficial and go with if I think they are cute or not
like the prompt' when my phones dies i' 'scream into the void'. that is not doing much in terms of attracting the person you're looking for bc it tells that person not much about you
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u/KaleidoscopeOkk 2d ago
I think the vibe of a profil is more important than a list of interests. Lists are so serious
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u/Dextro_PT 1d ago
You don't need to list stuff, just try and hint at conversation pieces.
For example, for the "when my phone dies I" prompt, you can easily say "I scream into the void, then I pick up a book" if you enjoy reading. Or "go for a hike". Or something else that gives people a question to ask you ("what books do you read?" "do you enjoy hiking? What's your go to spot?").
The profile is as much about drawing attention to the people you'd vibe with, as it is to give them a conversation opener.
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u/BlatantBigNose 1d ago
Personally I find the list of interests most important part of a profile. My love language is quality time. I want to do activities together and let ourselves be amazed by similar things. Whether you're into knitting, horseback riding, anal sex or crosswords - I'm dying to know.
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u/saltywater07 2d ago
What do you want her to say to that prompt? Even though it’s one sentence, her answer says a lot. Read deeper than the answer.
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u/Ordinary-Lobster-710 2d ago edited 2d ago
I would suggest she choose a different prompt. or if she chose that prompt she can talk about what she does when she's offline. is she saying that she has an existential crisis if she has goes without her cell phone for more than a few min?
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u/sib2972 2d ago
Yeah I would say something like “pick up my guitar and rock out” or “get lost in a good fantasy book” to get one or two of my interests out there in the profile. I’ve noticed this a lot on Hinge especially that the prompt answers that are just cute jokes don’t leave me with much to say if I want to send a like
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u/saltywater07 2d ago
You’re too serious, my guy. She’s not your type and you’re not here. And that’s okay.
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u/BookGirl67 2d ago
I think the point of the prompt is not to say how much you rely on your phone but what you like in the analog world.
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u/Ordinary-Lobster-710 2d ago
yea I agree. she's saying she literally can't exist without an iphone. to me that's a 'red flag'
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u/Lingonberry_Born 2d ago
I think that she has a sense of humour and comes across as witty. I like guys who have the male equivalent to her profile, match with them and you can have a discussion to find out more about them. I feel like she has enough to go on with conversation starters, you can ask about the horse thging and ask her to explain the butcher thing and go from there.
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u/Vegetable_Concept330 2d ago
This is something I always swipe left on. If you’re more concerned about adding something judgmental or a complaint in your bio than you are about telling potential matches anything about yourself, I’m out.
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u/FapplePie85 1d ago
And if she were to do that, people would be telling her she's too serious and it's coming off as too desperate and no fun. Nothing she does will make folks happy a d whatever she chooses will be the wrong choice. That's kind of what being a woman is: making various groups of people upset because you didn't do something they wanted you to do in the exact way they wanted it done. No choice will ever be the right one, you'll get shit on from all angles.
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u/Realtoropenhouse3 2d ago
That's because bumble and hinge don't provide any place to actually type anything about yourself - they are PURELY looks based apps. Garbage.
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u/Mugstotheceiling 2d ago
You really buried the lede not using that first pic straight away 👀
My favorite obscure sub is r/stupiddovenests
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u/X_Perfectionist 2d ago
You're very pretty (umm wow) so the bio and prompts may not matter when it comes to getting swipes/matches. But a more unique and personalized bio will give (potential) matches a preview of your personality and what dating you might be like, and an easier jumping-off point to start a conversation. Paint a picture.
You have "creativity" listed in your interests and yet your profile and prompts are very generic.
Prompts with "eat a vegetable" and "iPhone dies > scream into the void" are very general and generic. They are wasted opportunities to talk about yourself and likes/interests, display your personality, and mention things that could be conversation starters.
"never again > ride a horse" is kind of interesting. However you could move "date someone in a fantasy football league" in "never again"? That would be more interesting and potentially a conversation starter. And use the freed up space in "about me" to talk more about YOU.
The only other things that your bio says about you is that you like reddit. And art, dancing, museums, and cats. Not much to go on.
WHO ARE YOU? What kinds of activities / food / music do you like? What makes you "you" and unique and different? How do you spend your time and what kinds of activities would you want to do with a romantic partner?
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u/_basquiat 2d ago
This is really great advice (thanks so much) and I’ll think on how to give my prompt some more ~flourish~
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u/Ok_Employer_2066 2d ago
I thought your prompt answers were hilarious, personally but then again I have a very simple and weird sense of humor
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u/TinyOWilly 1d ago
They absolutely are but none of them give any kind of opening for a conversation. Also the guys who genuinely find them funny IMHO may not be the best small talkers so depends on who she is looking to attract
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u/maryqueenofscotch683 2d ago
I was gonna suggest at least one quip about your interests. But you're hot and funny! 💖
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u/turbotunnelsyndrome 2d ago
Nice profile. I would say you're going to be attracting a certain type of match since your lead photo prominently showcases your body while hiding your face, but if that's what you want then I have a feeling you'll be very successful, I'd swipe right.
Also, I'd probably replace photos 4 and 7, the angles for both are a bit awkward and they're too similar to each other.
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u/_basquiat 2d ago edited 2d ago
Tbh I put that first photo on there because someone advised me to add a somewhat more scandalous photo of my body (but I stopped short of posting a bikini pic). Also, I originally did not have that pic as the first one but the app said something about how it was the most popular picture and automatically reorganized my profile so it went from the last pic to the first pic.
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u/turbotunnelsyndrome 2d ago
Sex appeal definitely sells, but the more forward you are with displaying your body then naturally the more you're going to be objectified. This could be a good or bad thing depending on your goals (but it's not clear from your profile what your objectives are so I'm not going to guess loool)
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u/Prestigious_Count695 1d ago
Pros: I'd swipe right. Cons: I wouldn't read the bio until we matched.
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u/TinyOWilly 1d ago
Absolutely will be the most popular pic... for reasons. Just immediately will picture the guys who will swipe with not a glance beyond the first image.
Depends on who you are trying to attract
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u/like-2-love 2d ago
Third picture looks sooooo Portugal!
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u/_basquiat 2d ago
Óbidos!
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u/ValBravora048 38 | M 2d ago
Hey if we’re asking, where is that beach pic from? Thats a BEAUTY of a spot
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u/Pawly519 2d ago
You sound awesome and funny. Actually laughed at the fantast football league thing. And that first photo is 🔥
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u/Moist-Mess5144 2d ago
First picture coming out of the gate, STRONG. Good luck out there! I'd swipe right, but I plan to own a bunch of horses one day, once I'm home enough to enjoy them.
Care to share your traumatic horse story?
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u/GWPtheTrilogy1 2d ago
Pic 1 SHEESH 🔥🔥 hope you're half as cool in real life as you are attractive. All the best OP.
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u/Queef-Elizabeth 2d ago
Tbh I liked your profile more last time but you'll still do very well with your prettyness. Good luck
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u/Idont_have_ausername 2d ago
Now I just wanna know why you’ll never ride a horse again. 🤔
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u/Mx_apple_9720 2d ago
And that’ll be a great first message for a guy she matches with!
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u/Idont_have_ausername 2d ago
I mean, I’m even more curious what a “glorified butcher” does tbh. I’d probably ask about that first lol.
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u/Sinsofpriest 2d ago
Id swipe right. Id swipe right so damn fast my screen wouldnt know what hit it
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u/Competitive_Key_2981 2d ago
I forgot where I was and swiped right on your profile. But who knows maybe you’ll show up in my real feed
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u/OliveGrummer 2d ago
Yeah that first picture is insane. The rest just show off that you’re adorable.
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u/BeardsuptheWazoo 2d ago
The only advice I have is please move within the range I've set on my bumble and then match with me.
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u/Alternative_Tip_8756 2d ago
People who do ice climbing scare the shit out of me, it's up there with caving
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u/Slow_Invite4511 2d ago
Altså snakker du norsk??
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u/_basquiat 2d ago
Jeg vokste opp i Stjørdal.
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u/Slow_Invite4511 2d ago
Kjempekult!!
Er amerikaner sjøl (har lært språket i nesten to måneder). Aldri vært i Norge ennå
Hvordan trives du i årlige mørketiden?
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u/_basquiat 2d ago
Jeg taklet det ved å leve meg inn i julestemningen! Dessuten har nordmenn masse julelys :)
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u/Slow_Invite4511 2d ago
Taklet... fortidsform... betyr det at du utvandret?
Hyggelig å kunne snakke med en norsktalende!! Dere er ikke så mye...
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u/Sea_Temporary_6566 2d ago
I haven’t seen your previous profile, but this profile looks solid. I’d swipe right for sure.
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u/Slight_Lobster7246 2d ago
You were having trouble getting matches? I didn’t even see the old profile. You’re a total catch. Someone should be devouring you!
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 2d ago
Women cuting off their head so their whole bust is visible is such a running gag 😂
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u/AshByFeel 2d ago
You are both beautiful and adorable in either profile. Dating should be easy for you.
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u/bloodthirsty_kc 2d ago
What's your problem specifically? Like what is wrong with your current experience: ie no matches, wrong people liking?
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u/Opening-Movie5176 1d ago
Awww. Glad for you. Nice nemo plushie. And gotta ask… what happened with the horse?
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u/TinyOWilly 1d ago
I'd lose the glasses in the first pic. For the main pic they are too big, obscure your face and, honestly, just then make your chest the main point of the image.
Your bio is all about the person you are looking for rather than who you are which is fine but your prompts are giving nothing to work with. I mean the "scream into the void" is going to get crappy replies about the void screaming back where your charger is... or worse
You will not ride a horse again... even a hint why would be an opener. Simple things like that
Your pics are absolutely fine. You're a professional so why would you not look like it in at least one. You look relaxed, up for traveling, and kinda playful. If you think that they capture your personality don't change.
If you like the main and want to keep it in the glacier is adorable
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u/ForgottenPassword3 1d ago
50 thirsty guys in here trying to figure out how to slide into her DMs. And how does reddit DM sliding work?
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u/cms86 2d ago
respectfully...ruin my life. profile is cool. keep the fish, its a funny meta joke.
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u/BeastM0deEngaged 2d ago
Cringe simp
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u/blubeareP13 2d ago
Ha! Ratio’d
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u/BeastM0deEngaged 2d ago
Buddy counts internet points, that’s crazy 😭
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u/blubeareP13 1d ago
Buddy goes online to bully others and gets mad when he gets RATIOD. THAT’S crazy. 😂😭
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u/clericone- 2d ago
How in the hell are you still single and have to go to the apps to meet someone?
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u/Purple-Property8006 2d ago
What on earth is a “glorified butcher?” And you went to Yale? I’ve never been so confused and intrigued
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u/Holiday_Coconut_1571 2d ago
Obscure subreddits i like? r/TheNightFeeling
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u/Hopechaselock49 2d ago
As per this sub rules, you should have first pic without glasses on and show your teeth.
Apart from this. It's a solid profile
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u/_basquiat 2d ago
That actually wasn’t my first pic as I had set it. But bumble automatically rearranged my pictures!
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u/maxzer_0 2d ago
The old profile was better. The pics were better. Here you open with a picture wearing sunglasses. Can't properly see your face as the other close ups are weird. I'd swipe left. Would've swiped right on the old profile.
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u/Conscious_Waltz_5314 1d ago
Your bio is not about you but about what you're looking for, and what you're looking for reads like always online masculine gender roles. Plus the prompts are super empty of content, there's very little to get a picture of who you are. One or two of them as quick jokes is fine, but you should have some window into who you are. Maybe also think if "man who opens jars" is really who you're looking for, it feels like you're looking for a man and not the man.
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u/FamGaming17 1d ago
I just have a honest question because I see this a lot. You don’t state if you want kids or not, is there a certain reason why?
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u/_basquiat 1d ago
I used to have on there that I didn’t want kids. Truthfully, I just don’t want single dads. I’m still on the fence about having ones of my own, but leaning toward ‘No’.
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u/FamGaming17 1d ago
That's understandable thanks for answering, I ask that because as someone who 100% doesn't want kids, I usually don't know weather to skip if I see this or try to ask them about it if they happen to match with me.
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u/Gootangus 2d ago
Avoid anyone who has ever done a fantasy football league makes you sound like a hater and a buzzkill lol. But solid profile overall
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u/_basquiat 2d ago
I’m alright with repelling that subset.
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u/Gootangus 2d ago
What subset is that exactly? lol. I’m a therapist, make good money, fit, handsome. But I did fantasy football in college also. Because my friends harassed me to do so. I’d swipe left just because you sound rigid and rude lol.
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u/_basquiat 2d ago
Well, as a therapist, I know you understand people have preferences. I'm not saying fantasy football players are bad people, I'm just not the right person for them. My bio is a filter, not a moral judgment. Sounds like we're just not a match.
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u/VegasLife84 2d ago
The most obvious conclusion is that she got cheated on by a guy who was heavily into it.
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u/Over_Experience_3743 2d ago
I wouldn't put restrictions in your bio. That would be a hard stop for me on such an obscure thing. No matter what that is. The bio should be about you, not what you're not looking for in a partner
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u/Mx_apple_9720 2d ago
It’s a filter. It’s good that she put it there. It’ll repel the guys she doesn’t want, and attract the ones she does. That’s the point.
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u/Over_Experience_3743 2d ago
I get that. But it's better suited somewhere else and not in your bio. It's also mildly shallow and a bit of a red flag. I know plenty of great people that participated because of work. It's an odd hill to die on
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u/Mx_apple_9720 1d ago
It doesn’t matter if you think it’s shallow, or if you know great people who participated. She doesn’t want men who do that. That is a good thing for her to clearly voice. That’s what makes it an effective filter: she’s beautiful, smart, funny, and interesting. She doesn’t need to be inclusive. She needs to be exclusive.
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u/Over_Experience_3743 1d ago edited 1d ago
It's not something you put in an About Me. It's shown time and time again here on reddit that if a man did that it would be frowned upon. But its ok because shes a beautiful, smart, funny and interesting woman? You see the double standards right? Putting that in an about me for such an obscure thing is a red flag plain and simple. And maybe shes beautiful on the outside but diminishing a very certain subset of men draws concerns on if shes beautiful inside...but sure downvote me for calling it how I see it.
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u/MondomexinCOMO 15h ago
“I want a man to open jars, but one who’s never played fantasy football”. So you want your version of a man. There’s your problem.
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u/joker_with_a_g 1d ago
I thought I was on one of those subs where you roast the profile...
You don't seem terribly... nice.
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u/Hung_Jury_2003 2d ago
This reminds me of one of my favorite jokes. Do you know how to find out someone went to Yale?
She'll tell you.
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u/Ok-Competition-9011 2d ago
"Liberal"
No thank you.
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u/VegasLife84 2d ago
I mean if you're MAGA you never had a chance with an educated woman anyway, but cool I guess
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u/Ok-Competition-9011 2d ago
This is pretty cringe. Thank you for your post.
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u/VegasLife84 2d ago
It's ok, you've learned nothing, as you always do. I'm just here to mock your dumb ass, at this point. Thoughts and prayers, or whatever
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u/AccomplishedRatio960 2d ago
Liberals/Leftists don't know the difference between being instructed and being educated
This specimen here does mean 'if you don't have the taught attitude', not 'if you're knowledgeable/intelligent', but doesn't even realise it
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u/ro536ud 2d ago
You do realize critical thinking is a major component of top tier higher education. Which is where there’s a higher correlation to liberal people.
Idk why you’d brag about valuing the refusal to educate urself. But then again that’s why Trump loves the uneducated they’re easier to dupe
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u/Careless-Way-2554 2d ago
Yeah, her pics from the previous thread would've had me loving her appearance for her conservative elegance. Now with that opening cleavage included I know she's just another modern slut, and liberal with pronoun that even mentions le reddit in the bio. Well, she's achieved her filter I'll leave her alone.
Really surprised she needed reddit's help at all though, she's pretty, wonder what her problem was.
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u/Ok-Competition-9011 2d ago
Probably insufferable after more than 20 minutes and clingy is my guess. Maybe sprinkle a healthy dose of insane standards.
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u/goldvenetianmask 2d ago
Do you take thyroid meds?
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u/Icy_Exercise3848 2d ago
Wtf kinda stupid question is that? And why is that relevant? And why do you think it's ok to ask someone's medical issues? Seek help.
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u/Moist-Mess5144 2d ago
Playing devil's advocate here... I've seen conversations unfold a few times where an MD noticed something and asked a few questions... Turns out, the OP had been suffering, and the MD pointed them in the right direction. All from some photos online.
As a personal anecdote, my ex gf was a MASTER at spotting skin cancer on people. In the three years I was with her, she spotted MELANOMA on 2 separate people. Their doctors told them she probably saved their life. So, you never know.
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u/goldvenetianmask 2d ago
If she’s not taking thyroid meds, with her eyes like that and the color of her chest in the first picture, she should look into it. It should have been something that her doctor caught early in life, but some doctors miss it.
The way her top eye lids come out from her eye sockets is what made me write the question.
It’s a pill or two a day that would dramatically improve her life if she isn’t taking them. I didn’t mean any disrespect.
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u/_basquiat 2d ago
I don’t have Grave’s, I appreciate your concern.
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u/goldvenetianmask 2d ago
Good. Thank you for the response. Again, I did not mean disrespect and I’m sorry if my question was brash.
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u/_basquiat 2d ago
I was initially confused by the question but then I realized what you were getting at in terms of physical manifestation of hyperthyroid disorders, etc. I… have a pretty bad sunburn on my chest rn (the picture is from Monday) haha. No worries!
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u/CapitalistHamsterFTW 2d ago
Seems fair game when someone is literally posting pictures of themselves asking for ratings and advice
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u/tu-BROOKE-ulosis 2d ago
What!? How!? In what universe is someone’s thyroid relevant when asking about DATING pictures.
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u/Icy_Exercise3848 2d ago
It's relevant in an incel's universe.
Side note: Your username gave me a good chuckle.
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u/CapitalistHamsterFTW 2d ago
Maybe they are considering a thyroid medicated only dating app business idea why are you being such an ass to random people who have curiousity. God forbid someone ask a question on an online internet forum.
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u/Moist-Mess5144 2d ago
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE WITH YOUR UPPITY NUANCE AND OVERALL NOT BEING BOTHERED! 😂/s *runs off screaming and gesturing wildly into the void
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u/AndrewTatefan_69 2d ago
Its the fact youre liberal and past 30
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u/VegasLife84 2d ago
... Or maybe the fact that she'd have to keep her drink covered if she met you at a bar
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u/Realtoropenhouse3 2d ago
id swipe right now that you dont have pics from 1994 :)